Catholic Moms with young children...

[Mama2Many4]

Or if your children are grown. I would like some advice about children at Mass. My children groan all the time when it's time to go to Mass. Every week it's the same,

 

" I thought Mass was last week. I don't want to go again."

 

We have religion everyday as part of our studies, and I speak about our Traditions all the time. How can I help them to enjoy Mass and find the beauty in it. I'm not talking about my 3 year old, but my boys. I know they are young, but they should be embracing the mass I would think. Any advice?

 

We're off to Mass right now, but I'll be checking in when we get back! :bigear:

[higginszoo]

First, sit up front. If it's something happening way far away and everytime the grownups stand up, you can't see a thing ... of COURSE it's going to be boring. If they can see what's going on and be closer to the action, it helps them feel more involved.

Second, make sure that they have a way to follow along. From 2 or 3 years old until First Communion, they used Fr. Lovasik's St. Joseph booklet. From kindergarten-ish on, they liked the Magnifikid weekly missals http://www.magnificat.com. Then after First Communion, when they were reading well, we got them their own Sunday Missals.

For under 5 or 6, we also had other bible stories or saint stories in the bag, one grandma-ish lady gave them a ring of holy cards that was a hit with the younger ones. Anything completely quiet and somewhat church-related was fair game, especially at 3-4.

[Teachin'Mine]

It should be of more interest after they've received Communion - will the oldest be receiving this year or next? Then when they're old enough, try to interest them in being an altar server. I've also found that going more often than once a week can be really helpful. The daily Mass is usually only a half hour or so and could be made as a treat since they'd get to start school later that day. Even going to weekday Mass once a week might help. Maybe on Sundays you could take them out for donuts afterward as a reward for attentiveness and reduced complaining? Another idea is to find the Mass schedule for a children's Mass or they may even enjoy the one geared towards teens, which is often Sunday evening.

[Murphy101]

Sit up front

Insist on participation (we kneel =they kneel)

Whisper explanations as you go

Give lots of encouragement

Tell them to suck it up.. I mean offer it up.:tongue_smilie: Really sometimes the things we need to do seem boring and we do them anyways. Griping won't make it any less boring or more fun, so enough already.

[Ellie]

Well, your older two dc are old enough for you to look them in the eyeball and tell them to quit complaining. I mean, you should do all the things people are suggesting, such as sitting up front and all that, but still, children who are 6 and 8 are old enough to remember from that they went to Mass last week and that they go every week, and that they may not complain outloud. If nothing else, that's just good manners. And yes, good manners count even when it comes to going to Mass.

[Mama2Many4]

First, sit up front. If it's something happening way far away and everytime the grownups stand up, you can't see a thing ... of COURSE it's going to be boring. If they can see what's going on and be closer to the action, it helps them feel more involved.

Second, make sure that they have a way to follow along. From 2 or 3 years old until First Communion, they used Fr. Lovasik's St. Joseph booklet. From kindergarten-ish on, they liked the Magnifikid weekly missals www.magnificat.com. Then after First Communion, when they were reading well, we got them their own Sunday Missals.

For under 5 or 6, we also had other bible stories or saint stories in the bag, one grandma-ish lady gave them a ring of holy cards that was a hit with the younger ones. Anything completely quiet and somewhat church-related was fair game, especially at 3-4.

 

Thanks for the link! The tips are great.

 

It should be of more interest after they've received Communion - will the oldest be receiving this year or next? Then when they're old enough' date=' try to interest them in being an altar server. I've also found that going more often than once a week can be really helpful. The daily Mass is usually only a half hour or so and could be made as a treat since they'd get to start school later that day. Even going to weekday Mass once a week might help. Maybe on Sundays you could take them out for donuts afterward as a reward for attentiveness and reduced complaining? Another idea is to find the Mass schedule for a children's Mass or they may even enjoy the one geared towards teens, which is often Sunday evening.[/quote']

 

We usually go to Mass on Saturday evening as a family. But yesterday were unable to make it and my DH works on Sundays. Maybe we can go out to dinner after Mass instead. Thanks for the ideas. My oldest made is FC last May.

 

Sit up front

Insist on participation (we kneel =they kneel)

Whisper explanations as you go

Give lots of encouragement

Tell them to suck it up.. I mean offer it up.:tongue_smilie: Really sometimes the things we need to do seem boring and we do them anyways. Griping won't make it any less boring or more fun, so enough already.

 

I agree with you about sucking it up. I was just hoping for a miracle. :tongue_smilie:

 

Well, your older two dc are old enough for you to look them in the eyeball and tell them to quit complaining. I mean, you should do all the things people are suggesting, such as sitting up front and all that, but still, children who are 6 and 8 are old enough to remember from that they went to Mass last week and that they go every week, and that they may not complain outloud. If nothing else, that's just good manners. And yes, good manners count even when it comes to going to Mass.

 

Yes, they need to practice good manners. I agree.

[VA6336]

Our associate pastor gave a homily a few weeks ago about sacramental imagination and encouraged it's use...you might want to read up on St. Teresa of Avila (and her drunken monkeys) to help your kids use their sacramental imaginations. He spent a little time pointing out some of the imagery in the sanctuary that folks might not have noticed before and suggesting things to think about. Can you go the church some time that there isn't a Mass happening and spend some time letting the kids wander and look at thing up close? I agree that even though it's scary at first: sit up front during Mass! Volunteer to bring up the Gifts, too.

[TracyR]

I'm a religious ed teacher and I found this really good link :

http://www.loyolapress.com/sunday-connection.htm

This explains the liturgy at a kid's point of view. Just click on the age level and follow the activities.

This is my first year , and the one thing I noticed was that the kids just don't understand what is going on. If your children go to religious ed you could suggest them adding this to their curriculum.

I do this activity last so when the kids go to Mass that its fresh in their minds.

 

Once they can participate in Communion and volunteer to be alter servers. Its going to be that way.

But then even so you'll still have that one child that will defy all odds and make things miserable for you because it doesn't concern a computer, I Pod or any other technological things Woops, wait, this was about you, right? LOL

 

 

I do know what you mean though. My oldest does this to me all of the time. My younger three don't complain.

I agree with sitting up front, this is what we do. My oldest hates it because she thinks it draws attention to her. Which it doesn't. Its in her mind. But my little ones can see what is going on.

I insist that they participate. Even my youngest is expected to.

[m0mmaBuck]

I'm 39 and I still hate going to Mass. We are Catholic. We go. That's it.

[TracyR]

First, sit up front. If it's something happening way far away and everytime the grownups stand up, you can't see a thing ... of COURSE it's going to be boring. If they can see what's going on and be closer to the action, it helps them feel more involved.

Second, make sure that they have a way to follow along. From 2 or 3 years old until First Communion, they used Fr. Lovasik's St. Joseph booklet. From kindergarten-ish on, they liked the Magnifikid weekly missals www.magnificat.com. Then after First Communion, when they were reading well, we got them their own Sunday Missals.

For under 5 or 6, we also had other bible stories or saint stories in the bag, one grandma-ish lady gave them a ring of holy cards that was a hit with the younger ones. Anything completely quiet and somewhat church-related was fair game, especially at 3-4.

Does anyone know of any resources like Magnifcat for older children 13 and up????:confused:

[AimeeM]

The olders - tell them to suck it up. Let them look at a Catholic children's story bible if they have sincere attention or auditory issues.

 

Youngers... well, I'll be honest. After a few miserable attempts, we no longer take the 2 1/2 year old. Well, we didn't. He can't be around the crowds during flu season (medical problems), so he becomes unaccustomed to going and is a bear when we finally do take him again. I haven't found a compromise yet. One of us needs to stay home with him.

 

Frankly, we were always allowed, until the age of reason, to eat cheerios and color in religious coloring books during Mass as children. I see no problem with that.

[2squared]

:grouphug: If it helps, my boys hate going too. We do all the best practices mentioned here, and they still hate it. I hope they will mellow with time.

 

My boys enjoy our religion studies and activities at home, so I take comfort in their home participation.

[Parrothead]

Has your oldest done first communion yet? If so get him involved with the alter servers.

 

As for the others, I agree with everyone else - sit up front, make it as interesting as possible, bring along coloring books and crayons and a snack for the homily.

[higginszoo]

Does anyone know of any resources like Magnifcat for older children 13 and up????:confused:

 

Magnificat (same link) is the adult version, which would be appropriate for teens.

Or a Sunday Missal http://www.adoremusbooks.com/stjosephsundaymissal-redvinylcover.aspx?zmam=46742494&zmas=1&zmac=2&zmap=95283 It's perpetual -- has all the readings for all three cycles, plus the rest of the mass in detail. This is actually our standard First Communion gift to our dc, so only the little one (making FHC in May) will have the revised wording in theirs, but at 11, 12, 13, we use it more at home (to preview/review the readings) than in mass anyway. Still, for ADD-ish people who need something to look at/keep their hands busy -- my grandmother uses her missal most Sundays (and is pouting about having to get a new one/refusing to go to mass until she gets it ... my dad DID point out that EWTN masses have the new words, too).

Edited December 4, 2011 by higginszoo

[Murphy101]

Does anyone know of any resources like Magnifcat for older children 13 and up????:confused:

 

The Roman Missel?:001_huh:

[Parrothead]

The Roman Missel?:001_huh:

That is what I thought too. :D

[OrganicAnn]

When my DD was 6 and under we let her stay home from from 1 in 4 weeks and as she got older it became 1/2 the time. We allow her to bring a notebook to write in (when she was younger she had stickers to put into it). We sit close to the front on the side.

 

I do what my mom used to do "God gives us his attention 24 hours a day all week, the least we can do is give him one hour a week".

 

I will explain during the Mass how much longer it lasts in ways she understands. Communion, pray, announcements and one more song. So she know what is coming.

 

We would often have a treat after Mass. Our church doesn't do coffee and donuts, so I used to buy donuts and have them in the car on the way home. We don't have donuts otherwise, so a treat.

 

During Mass if my DD gets restless, I'll ask her if she's prayed for the people of Haiti yet. She saw the NOVA on the earthquake and our church has a sister church in Haiti, so she has a real soft spot for Haiti.

 

When she was younger I told her there was weeks where she had to go, weeks where she didn't have to go, and weeks that it was up to her to decide. So it gave her some choice. Once she was approaching first communion age, she has to got almost every week (unless there is a real good reason not to - sick, tired whatever).

 

That's all. I only have one so it is a little easier. And my DH is not Catholic so he stays home.

[Carol in Cal.]

The Bible says, "Forsake not gathering together, as some do."

It also says, "I was glad when they said unto me, 'Let us go unto the house of the Lord.'"

It also says, "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."

I can't honestly say that my 15yo DD always loves going to church on Sundays, but she does know that it's what our family does, and it's not optional, and that's it. And, she likes it more than she cares to admit.

 

We talk about the Church Year a lot in our family. When she was younger I taught her a lot of hymns so that she could participate without being able to read. And of course since there are not all that many liturgies, she knew them by heart pretty early. These things all help.

 

I also try to make it into a 'get to' instead of a 'got to'--at least I convey clearly that that is how I see it. Hope it catches.

[imagine.more]

My ODS year old definitely has his days where he complains, and he'll play the "I want to go to Daddy's church" or "I want to go to the Catholic church" card depending on where we are. I just tell him that it doesn't matter if he wants to go or not, we are going to worship God and it's about God, not him. But we also try to help him pay attention and be involved. I sit him on my lap and rub his back while I explain parts of the service or sing the hymns in his ear (most of which he knows now!) and I'll remind him by tapping him on the head when he needs to respond with a "and with your spirit" or "Lord hear our prayer". We worked to teach him the Our Father so he could say that, and we don't stress if he's jumping in place or laying on the floor while he does it, lol! Seriously, he has spent the last half of mass laying on the floor, feet in the air but his hands are folded in prayer and he's actually praying so I just leave him be :) Maybe you could invite the priest over for dinner or do some service for him as a family, let the kids get to know him outside of just mass. Since my DH is a pastor he and our priest like to talk shop sometimes so we know him a bit now and my ODS loves our priest, he's always chattering on about Father Steve and he's been paying better attention to the homilies than I realized ever since we had dinner at his parsonage.

 

I think sometimes kids are going to complain, they do it about schoolwork, eating vegetables, practicing piano, going to basketball practice, nobody can stay completely interested all the time. But I agree that the older kids can learn to kind of suck it up and just go to an extent while you try to find ways to help them engage with mass.

[Teachin'Mine]

Learning about the lives of the Saints can help with this too. St. Francis and St. Anthony are great ones for them to read about. Seeing how important the Mass was to them may bring more meaning to what they're seeing. Learning about some of the miracles related to the Eucharist could help them to understand that it's truly Jesus present.

[mchel210]

I agree. We sit in the first row! The kids have to behave and participate. We catch the priest looking over and watching us all the time. LOL. It makes fun for us when they fight...but it seems to work better then sitting in the middle or back. :)

[ChrisB]

You've received some great ideas. You said your DH works Sundays, therefore you go to Mass on Saturday nights. Honestly, my kids don't do well at night Masses. The kids are always better behaved at Sunday morning Masses, or any other daily Mass in the morning. We go to the Mass that is the closest to wake-up time, a quick breakfast, quickly get dressed, and then out the door. They don't have much time to think (or complain) about it. ;) I also tell the kids that they should expect we are going every week and to quit complaining about it. And that they don't have to like it, but still have to do it. We still get some complaints, though. :tongue_smilie:

[Canadianmumof5]

It is a mandatory at our house - unless someone is sick. It is just what we do. it is very difficult with toddlers who aren't capable of sitting for a full hour. Usually DH will take him out to the hall and walk around with him. Just because my child can't sit still & be quiet doesn't give us the right to distract everyone else.

 

Once they are 3 or 4 or so, they should be able to sit quietly at mass, looking at picture books, colouring, or just resting on Mom's lap. However, we still expect full participation - stand when everyone else stands, kneel, etc. They certainly need gentle reminders but it is worthwhile to stick it out.

 

Our parish is prety big and at most masses, there isn't enough room in the main church so they set up chairs in the hall and there is a big screen TV there with speakers so everyone can still see/hear/participate. On average, there is probably 100 people in there. If little ones are wiggly or crying, parents will often bring them into the hall. Which is totally fine.

 

What bothers me is the parents of the 4-6 year olds who let their kids run around playing tag or bringing beyblades/cars to play with in the hall. It is SO distracting and frankly disrespectful to everyone else for these parents to allow their kids to behave as though they are in a playground......it is still church! So don't do that ;)

[Mama2Many4]

Well, I'll be taking my kids to Mass this morning so I'll be putting these ideas to good use! Thanks so much everyone for the tips. We'll be sitting up front. ;)

[Teachin'Mine]

Well, I'll be taking my kids to Mass this morning so I'll be putting these ideas to good use! Thanks so much everyone for the tips. We'll be sitting up front. ;)

 

Wonderful! Enjoy the Mass and let us know how it went. :)