Moms of short kids

[JennifersLost]

Do you find yourself treating your kids as if they were younger than they really are?

 

I went to my 15 yo ds' concert last night and was surrounded by other fifteen year old boys who are up to a foot taller than me and outweigh me by 40+ pounds. If that's what my kid looked like I think I would treat him totally differently.

 

That seems so unfair! My poor kids!

 

My 15 just barely topped 5 feet this year. I don't know when he'll hit 100 pounds. He's very mature - more mature than most of those other kids, but he doesn't have their "presence". I feel so bad for him, and the next two boys are just the same way.

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

[elegantlion]

Apparently my son is short as well. He's only 52" and barely 60 pounds and he'll be 11 in the fall. The neighbor girl who is 11 is a head taller than him. I projected his height on a growth chart recently and if he stays in the percentile he is at now, he'll be about 5'8". My dh is about that height.

 

So far it hasn't been an issue as he mostly plays with younger kids. He's mature for his age in some areas, but I think he likes to be the boss of the younger kids.

 

I don't even focus on it. I work to give validity to his interests that have nothing to do with appearance. To me, it is another benefit of homeschooling. I can build his esteem without the peer pressure of him being too much or not enough of something.

 

I'm 5'4" and I always liked shorter men, you could look 'em in the eye.

[Andie]

Do you find yourself treating your kids as if they were younger than they really are?

 

I went to my 15 yo ds' concert last night and was surrounded by other fifteen year old boys who are up to a foot taller than me and outweigh me by 40+ pounds. If that's what my kid looked like I think I would treat him totally differently.

 

That seems so unfair! My poor kids!

 

My 15 just barely topped 5 feet this year. I don't know when he'll hit 100 pounds. He's very mature - more mature than most of those other kids, but he doesn't have their "presence". I feel so bad for him, and the next two boys are just the same way.

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

But with an almost 14yo dd. I'll likely resurrect this thread when we're done moving, Jennifer, because I've got concerns about this as well. In our case, the younger kids aren't as small. In fact, the 11yo overtook the 13yo over this winter.

[ticklbee]

My 8 yo ds has always been in the 25th percentile for height/weight. On the other hand, my dd has always been in the 90 percentile for height. Go figure.

 

For the sake of my ds, I'm hoping he catches up somewhere in his teens. My dh said that's what happened to him and he's 6'.

 

When do they stop growing anyway? 17 or 18?

[mcconnellboys]

It can also kinda be bad when it's the other way. Just because a 15 year old is 6'3" doesn't mean that he's super mature. Maturity, unfortunately, has nothing whatsoever to do with height. So my son can do something perfectly typical for the age, but get reprimanded much more severely just because he "looks" older and should therefore act older..... And when he's galloping around pretending to be a Spartan, or jousting out front, or dressing in Harry Potter drag, etc., then folks also get really uptight and freaked out as if he has no right to play because of his height......

[In The Great White North]

Lots of guys put on a few more inches in college. It's not at all unusual for a boy to not get his "growth spurt" til high school.

 

My youngest has been 4 inches taller than her older brother and sister at each birthday since she was 5. She already caught her sister a couple of times and will probably catch her brother too.

[Faithr]

My 13 year old is short for his age and skinny as a rail. I put him in a catechism class at our parish for 7th graders and the other boys were so huge and rowdy. He was totally intimidated and wanted out. My dh is short too and I think my 13 year old took after him. Unfortunately his younger 9 yo brother is only a couple of pound lighter than him and almost as tall and much more athletic. I can see it really rubs him the wrong way. He's also very sensitive.

 

I worry about him A LOT (but try not to show it, of course.)

[beansprouts]

My 9 year old dd is very petite. So far it hasn't been a big issue. She is beginning to notice that all her age mates are a foot taller than she is. We don't make a big deal out of it, and I think she is fairly comfortable with herself at this point.

 

I do get a kick out of how people respond to her sometimes. She is a very bright and articulate child even for a 9 year old, and most people think she is 6 or 7 because of her size. So she gets quite a few surprised looks :lol:

[Elisabeth in IL]

It can also kinda be bad when it's the other way. Just because a 15 year old is 6'3" doesn't mean that he's super mature. Maturity, unfortunately, has nothing whatsoever to do with height. So my son can do something perfectly typical for the age, but get reprimanded much more severely just because he "looks" older and should therefore act older..... And when he's galloping around pretending to be a Spartan, or jousting out front, or dressing in Harry Potter drag, etc., then folks also get really uptight and freaked out as if he has no right to play because of his height......

 

It is for this reason that I've been thankful that my 10 yods is just a little small for his age. He has ADHD and can't or isn't ready to live up to that "big" boy reputation. My friend's son is 8 and taller than my 10 yods. He is also a little immature for his age but people don't give him that slack or grace that they extend to my shorter son.

[Only me]

She will be 16 next month. She is 5 feet and about 87 pounds. She acts mature and responsible but sometimes I forget that she is as old as she is. For instance it just dawned on me that she is old enough to get a job. She looks so much younger than most of the girls her age.

 

She goes to a school that is 6th-12th and many people think that she belongs in the middle school wing. She'll be a junior next year. In the beginning of the year many kids thought that she must have skipped a few grades.

 

One blessing is that since she looks so much younger she doesn't have a bunch of boys after her yet. :)

[LND1218]

It can also kinda be bad when it's the other way. Just because a 15 year old is 6'3" doesn't mean that he's super mature. Maturity, unfortunately, has nothing whatsoever to do with height. So my son can do something perfectly typical for the age, but get reprimanded much more severely just because he "looks" older and should therefore act older..... And when he's galloping around pretending to be a Spartan, or jousting out front, or dressing in Harry Potter drag, etc., then folks also get really uptight and freaked out as if he has no right to play because of his height......

 

That's what we get - the opposite because our kids are tall. They are expected to do more and behavior better and the like. It's tough either way I think.

[Mrs Mungo]

*I* don't because I'm short and come from a short family (none of my kids are even ON the growth chart). However, other people DO treat them like they are younger. When my middle dd was 7 some of the girls in her ballet class were carrying her around like a baby. I made them stop and asked how old they were, they were ALL younger than she was. I get people saying "oh my gosh, who does that little boy belong to!?!?" on the playground about my son. He's SEVEN, he's FINE climbing on the equipment, I REALIZE he's the size of your three year old but he's NOT THREE!

[camibami]

I do, and it isn't doing DD any favors!

 

She is newly 7 (Happy Birthday Elastigirl!) but the size of most 4 year olds. SHe is still in the high backed booster seat wit ha 5 point harness...she doesn't weigh enough for a regular booster. And she MILKS it- I still find myself or DH carrying her on hikes, etc, while we never carried our oldest past 3-4! And I haven't made her as responsible for herself a she ought to be- part of that is because she's the youngest, and part is because she's so little.

[LND1218]

Kind of the reverse problem here, which leads me to believe there is something in what you are saying.

 

My favorite story about this is that when my son was playing at one of those "mall soft play structure thingies", I struck up a conversation with a woman, and we had a really nice time. After we had been talking for an hour or so, she asked me if I had my son in therapy. I was a little taken aback, but I asked her what she was concerned about. She said he wasn't very coordinated for a 3 year old. I relaxed, and smiled, and said, "Oh--that's OK. He's only 18 months old--but very tall for his age." She wanted to die, I assured her that I took her comment as a kindness; after all, what do I know-I just have the one kid and so on.

 

But he was always the tallest one in his class in preK through first grades, AND the youngest, sometimes 1.5 years younger than the oldest boy in the class--and it led to a lot of his troubles. He got accused of immaturity, etc., and that led to some of the stuff that made us come home.

 

I just had to constantly remind myself of his true age, AND that he comes from a double gene pool of Late Bloomerism on top of it all. Sometimes it helps to sit down with a list of things xx yo's should have as rights AND responsibilities and just make it happen.

 

Oh no, I relate to that. I used to get asked all the time why my dd wasn't in school or worse potty trained! I would reply that it's because she's 2!

[Laura Corin]

He's heading for around 5'8" on the growth charts, but that's already three inches taller than his father, who seems to have done fine....

 

I think personality has an awful lot to do with it. Hobbes' personality fills rooms: active, loving, fun and outgoing (despite a stutter). He's also scatterbrained. I think I sometimes treat him as younger than he is, but because of his personality, not his height.

 

Laura

[Heather in Savannah]

He is not yet 5 ft tall, and about 80 lbs. People(read sales clerks) come up to him and when they hear how articulate he is, ask him his age. The comment is always how short he is....poor child. My husband is short, but my side of the family is tall. So, it is difficult to predict what will happen. For his sake (I'd never let on) I hope he at least hits 5'8", as I know that life for a short man can be tricky at times.:crying:

[summer]

I have made an outright effort to treat my 85 pound 13 yr old his age, but I see my parents and such still calling him a little boy and trying to get me to treat him as such. They definitely treat him as such.

[sweetbaby]

I have twins with height differences. The shorter one is actually more bossy and very mature for his age thus nicknamed, Old Man. Actually, I tend to treat him as if he is older than what he is. He is 10 going on 21. Ha!

[Jumping In Puddles]

Kind of the reverse problem here, which leads me to believe there is something in what you are saying.

 

 

:iagree: My son, even though he was of average height, just looked older when he was about 2 and he spoke so well and so clearly that he would say and do things that really got me kind of irritated and my mom reminded me once that I forget that he is so little because he seems so big.

 

From that moment on, I realized what I had been doing and I feel guilty about it to this day. He was just a little boy and I was being unreasonable with him because he seemed so much more mature.

 

People, when meeting him, would be shocked at how young he really was but now that he is 5, he is still average height but now he looks like and acts like a 5 year old.

[oceandaughter]

I have a child who is very tall for his age (takes after me, I'm almost six foot and my dad is 6'4") and one who is short enough that there was a time we were concerned about his not being on the growth charts.

 

My boys are 9 and 6 (the six being the tiny one). We talk a lot about how just because someone is small doesn't mean they are not strong and how the little guy takes after Daddy's side and the tall one after my side. So far no issues, but like I said my boys are young.

 

Personally, I find my short (5'7" or so) husband very sexy.

[TraceyS/FL]

My short DD is treated differently - but in her case, her other issues related to her shortness has her maturity often on par to her size. She'll be 9 next week and is about the size of a 4yo.

 

We finally got the doctor to give us a referral for DD's shortness. Her bone age xray had her more 2 deviations off, which is what they look for to refer (the Endo said she should have been refereed years before tho). Given mine and DH's height, and her siblings height, at the time the Endocrinologist expected her to have "Idiopathic Short Stature", we went thru full blood work and a growth hormone stimulation test (similar to a glucose tolerance test but instead measures the amount of GH the bodies produces)

 

Well, she passed the test. BUT, her blood work turned up a chromosomal defect - Turners Syndrome. Shocked even the doctor - she doesn't have the characteristics of most girls (she has Mosiac).

 

The impact of this is far reaching - more than just her height.... she is off her growth hormones, but should be back on them this summer (we had an insurance fiasco happen). They are giving her precious inches - we HOPE to get her to 5ft tall. Then there is her "female problems", most Turner Syndrome girls don't go into Puberty without drugs doing it - they lack fully functioning ovaries. This is when doctors see a lot of the patients - 15-16 years old and no periods. At that point, it's too late to help with the height issue much. :(

 

Anyway, that is our story - not just a normal "short kid". But hey, she's back "up there" on the charts - TS has it's own growth chart! LOL!!

 

(She was 21" at birth, and was 80-90th percentile until 6 months old when she quit growing.)

 

And just to share, here a site which was very helpful to us (and PLEASE, i'm not saying all short kids need to go to the doctor by posting these links - but i would be a failure as a parent of a child with a growth disorder if i didn't you know????)

 

http://www.magicfoundation.org/www

and

http://www.magicfoundation.org/www/docs/115/turner-syndrome

 

Major Aspects of Growth In Children (MAGIC) is made up of families whose children (and affected adults) have growth hormone deficiency or other medical conditions (listed on the left) which affect their growth. While growth hormone deficiency is the most commonly known disorder it is not the most common cause of growth failure.

 

Children fail to grow for a variety of reasons. Growth hormone deficiency is only one possible cause. Hormones such as thyroid, or insulin-like growth factor also play important roles in a child's growth. Sleep, nutrition and exercise are also important for normal growth.

 

If a child is growth hormone deficient or failing to grow due to an underlying medical problem, his or her visible growth failure means that other more serious (non-visible) things are going on inside the body. Those "invisible" factors are our focus and concern. Height (too much at a young age or too little) is simply something we can see to warn us that something may be going wrong. It is natures early warning signal- an alarm for parents to take their child to the physician.

 

Many conditions which interfere with children's growth are treatable. Insulin, growth hormone, thyroid hormone, and now insulin-like growth factor are medications which are as close to nature as possible. Children with a wide range of growth deficiencies (such as Turner Syndrome, Russell-Silver Syndrome, Intrauterine Growth Retardation - Small for Gestational Age births have had wonderful results thanks to growth hormone and other treatments.

 

Each week we hear from parents about the short people in their family, and this is absolutley a factor to consider. However, scientists have now discovered a few genes which are responsible for growth failure. Therefore, as parents of affected kids ourselves (and yes some of us are short adults)we always tell worried parents- the primary indicator as to if your child needs to be seen by a medical professional is how much he or she is growing each year!

[JennifersLost]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. It's nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with it. I'm going to try to keep the image of these other 15 year olds in my head and try to act toward ds the same way I'd act toward them.

 

I think my ds is going to be a "late bloomer" too. I'm not sure how tall he'll get but it's certainly annoying to him now to have to deal with this. Sigh. Breaks this momma's heart.