TMI. Who should get sterilized: the man or the woman??

[texasmama]

I don't know if this is true or not, but I have to say that for my husband and I it has only built our relationship. The umm, freedom, is nice and we love not having to worry about birth control. We were young, but we started young too and we had our reasons. The urologist made us go through a waiting period and did an assessment of our reasonings. I think maybe they might be more resistant with people who have less than 3 kids though, as thats how it seemed when we talked about it after DD2. Right now, I wouldn't change the decision.

 

:iagree: The V only improved our relationship. I am so fertile that pg was a constant concern. That concern is gone now. The freedom is fabulous. I was 39 and he wasd 37 when the V occured....and we had four kids.

 

For anyone whose dh gets a V - make sure that you take in a semen sample a month after the procedure to make sure that the sperm is gone.

 

I was present during dh's V. It was a simple, fast, office procedure with about a week's recovery. He had it on a Friday, was back at work on Monday walking a bit funny and was completely fine a week later.

[Heather in Neverland]

Assuming someone is getting fixed, the man. I say this because it's a easy procedure for a man, compared to a woman.

 

:iagree:

[Meriwether]

Assuming someone is getting fixed, the man. I say this because it's a easy procedure for a man, compared to a woman.

 

I agree. I would add that I've done my bit for reproduction in our family. If one of us gets fixed it will be Dh.

[Mrs Mungo]

Assuming someone is getting fixed, the man. I say this because it's a easy procedure for a man, compared to a woman.

 

:iagree: if it is a mutual decision, then why is it more wrong for him?

[Retired]

Like PPs I think it makes more sense for the man to get it done because (from my understanding) it's a fairly simple out patient procedure. Whereas a tubal is a longer recovery and has a higher rate of more severe complications.

 

I had a laprasopic tubal in the md's office in 1998. It was super simple. I was 28 at the time and felt trapped in life. I want go into all the crap.

 

But now at 41 it seemed a stupid permanent thing to have done at such a young age but I also felt like my life was horrible at 28 and I couldn't take much more responsibilities.

 

I would really advise the op to think through how much life could change. I hate to say it but if I would of remarried the past 13 years I would of wanted more children with someone else;)

 

Anyway age and wisdom tend to change our hearts and minds

[sassenach]

After 4 babies (1 c/s), dh had to take one for the team. I did not want to spend years on hormone b/c, I was done. That said, dh regretted it later. He wanted one more. I, however, have never regretted it.

[Julie in CA]

Or is there something else we could consider??

I had Essure, and it's been so wonderful! Non-invasive, and my recovery time was...well, we stopped for lunch on the way home afterwards, and then we ran into the grocery to pick up bread (roughly an hour after the procedure). I had pretty much no pain or discomfort at all, which would not have been the case for dh had he done the vasectomy.

[Coffeetime]

This might be possible TMI.

 

The DH and I have two children and we don't want any more for various reasons. I can't get my tubes done because I am "too young" (I am 26) and might end up regretting it later on (I was told that by a OB/GYN). But I feel that making DH get the snip is 'wrong' in a way??

Also I have tried every type of contraception (pill, implanon, IUD, rings etc) and they didn't work, I just bled non stop. Umm, 'rubber' things irritate me and feel gross (I have tried non latex ones).

I am so scared of getting pregnant that our teA activities are next to none existant and our relationship is slowly suffering for it.

 

What is your opinion on the sterilization subject fellow WTM'ers?? Should I just make the husband get it done?? Or is there something else we could consider??

 

If you are %100 positive that you will not ever want any more children, then go ahead and find an doctor who will do the surgery. It's your decision, not theirs. If you regret it, then you have to live with that, not them.

 

BTW, my DH did NOT want to get snipped so I had the tubal ligation. Not entirely relevant to your situation, because I was 31 and had 5 kids- just commenting that I didn't want to "make" him do it since he wasn't keen on the idea. ;)

[dcjlkplus3]

Thanks for the replies already ladies.

DH has told me that he would get the snip. But it is just that I feel odd about him getting it done and not me.

 

I don't understand this.

I think if you are both decided not to grow your family and he is willing to do this (my dh did, and it really was not that big of a deal) then that is the way that a family works with each doing what they can. He can do this, and I think that you should let him do it for your family.

[Dustybug]

I haven't read all the replies yet, so forgive me if I repeat anything.

 

I don't think you can make a grown man do anything, and I certainly wouldn't even insist on it if he was deadset against it. I wish I had some suggestions...have you looked into Natural Family Planning? We used that for a time.

 

We have decided to not do anything permanent(whenever we feel we are finished) because a tubal is a major surgery and I see no reason to undergo one and take all the risks that come along with surgeries, however routine they are, when I have small children at home and their are other options. That being said, my DH made it VERY clear that he would not under any circumstances have a vasectomy even though it is less invasive, etc.

[kewb]

If you aren't in the middle of a c-section where the dr. can easily access your tubes then I think the man should be getting the big v because it is medically a less invasive procedure.