kristinannie Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I know I posted a similar thread about a month ago, but now we really need to decide since preschool starts next week. We cannot decide whether to put DD3 (4 in October) in preschool this year. It is a private Christian preschool 25 minutes from our house. My son went there for two years and the 3yo teacher is amazing. It was a great experience all around. The parents were really great and the kids were too (I know that won't necessarily be the case this year). Pre-K was terrible. They taught sight words only and the teacher was mediocre at best. There was actually a bully in the class. DD will definitely not be doing pre-K. Life has changed a lot since then. We moved into a bigger house and still own our old house. Our two mortgages equal 4 times as much as our previous mortgage alone. We can afford to send her (it is about $200 a month for 2 days a week after gas), but we would have to make some cuts elsewhere (our homeschool and vacation budgets). If we don't send her to preschool, we will be able to afford dance or tumbling or something like that for her to meet kids. I am also worried about the time spent in the car driving her to and from preschool. DH can usually take her once a week and MIL might be able to take or pick up once a week. I am doing K this year so it isn't a huge deal to spend time in the car. Our day for K doesn't last too long. Plus, DD has commanded that we wait until she gets home to do the unit studies because she loves them! :D Basically, to me it seems like we shouldn't send her. We do preschool activities at home. The only thing she would be missing would be meeting kids and having fun. My heart just breaks a little thinking that she won't get to do what DS did. She was really looking forward to having this teacher (she even learned to poop in the potty so she could be in this class). The ironic thing is that I didn't even feel nearly this guilty keeping DS5 out of public school kindergarten! What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewel7123 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 The only thing she would be missing would be meeting kids and having fun. Do you have alternatives for this, such as a local homeschool group that meets for park days and/or for field trips, etc.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zenjenn Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I was almost going to post "send her" but then I saw the ages of your kids in your sig. The biggest advantage of sending a child to preschool, IMO, is to have her out of your hair so you can focus on more rigorous academics with an older child at home. But your oldest is 5. You have 3 kids that can all do things well together, IMO. I would join MOMS Club or something like that, with playgroups, etc. I don't think $200 is worth 2 days a week. I paid $175 for 5 days a week and it was an excellent experience, but that is a lot for just 2 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 $200/month for 2 days a week seems like a lot of hastle without a lot of benefit. I'd go with the dance/tumbling class instead. (disclaimer: None of my children have gone to preschool) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) If we don't do preschool, we will continue to do story hour at the library on Wed. She has friends there because we have been doing that for 2 years already. There is also a mom's group that meets one Friday a month. That might be a good option. I just picture her birthday party this Oct being empty. Her best friend is her big brother. They are only 17 months apart and do everything together. We go to the park often and they play with other kids, but they are never the same kids. :D Edited August 31, 2011 by kristinannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 If I were you I wouldn't either. Dd4 goes to pre-K since this Monday, and it's a VPK (free 3 hours) at a good Montessori with a nice, attentive teacher. She only goes for 3 hours, and my oldest is 8 so I need to focus on some more academics with him, specifically writing, speaking, critical thinking and remembering through WWE, History, Singapore Science, PLL/VIE, Wheeler's Elementary Speller.. He's a distractible, reluctant learner and I'm not going to let him fall through the cracks. Just today the teacher sent dd4 with sheets on clocks and counting beads until the teen. She says dd (and I knew this) is the stereotypical Montessori child: focused, diligent, careful, and eager to learn. However, because of their age differences I can't let her take precedence over ds' learning. Hence, I'm sending her there where I'm hoping she will acquire a strong foundation upon which to build when we do Kindergarten at home next year. My aim this year is to have ds see learning as an adventure to take charge of and to have him work more independently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorisuewho Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I send my children to preschool, but then the preschool is about 10-15 minutes away and I pay a lot less. For me, 2 mornings a week is $85 and the 3 mornings a week class is $105. So I can send two children for the price you have to pay for one. I love our preschool which is very focussed on play, manners, and large and fine motor skills through play. I do find it to be more of a hassle this year though since I will be trying to homeschool kindergarten and making the drive back and forth to the preschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 We've never done preschool either. We debated sending her this year, but I didn't want to. :blush: It seems like a big pain to get her dressed, ready, and out the door by a set time each day...on top of everything else going on each morning. I also don't want to subject my children to more germs and colds. :tongue_smilie: They do participate in gymnastics (as well as a weekly coop) and that has been wonderful! They get time with other kids and learn how to behave in a group setting...plus they don't tolerate bullies. I'd talk to her and see what she thinks...maybe you could get her just as excited about some other kind of class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I would probably send her, although I think it's less crucial for a younger child than for the oldest, because she gets a lot of stimulation at home. My DD attended preschool, and we stayed friends with those kids for years. Also, you have already established this family tradition and held it out to your DD as something to look forward to. Sticking with that is probably a good thing. You can teach reading acquisition and basic numbers to your older child while she's in preschool, and it will make it easier to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narrow Gate Academy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 If we don't send her to preschool, we will be able to afford dance or tumbling or something like that for her to meet kids. I would skip the preschool since you can do something similar at home and let her choose between activities instead. If you're still feeling guilty, try looking back through some pictures from when your son was in preschool. What types of activities did he do that you want her to do? Maybe you could replicate a few of these at home to make it more fun. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 my 2 cents... I wouldn't do it. I never sent mine to any preschool and didn't see the point. She is only 17 mos younger than the older? Then why would her bday party be empty? They should have the same friends. Invite them. Keep up the once a week storytime, add your moms group and begin looking into hs groups for both for later. I do get the feeling like the younger is missing something if he/she doesn't get exactly what the older had. But sometimes different is just different. It doesn't mean it is worse. I always felt our library playtime/storytimes, moms groups, playdates, gymnastics or ballet (depending on the child) were enough for 3 and 4 yr olds. And actually, we didn't even start the dance or gym until each was 4 I think. I think you are only 2nd guessing because it will be different than what your son had. But they will have different experiences in life. It will be ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Well, since I don't know you, your kids, or your situation fully-I'll just give my opinion based on my own experience. :001_smile: I say don't send her. I wouldn't worry about preschool. My kids are similar in age to yours and we have a blast here at the house all doing things together. I plan art projects and different activities for their motor skill development and we just enjoy the pj days, the pillow pits, the forts, and the snuggle-on-the-couch reading time. I've noticed that my kids enjoy the time at home best. Since yours are young enough that your days are not full of rigorous academic work, you have lots of time for fun activities. My kids don't like to be in and out of the car very often. However, we are doing a twice-a-month co-op to meet some other families in our area and I might put the kids (all of them together) in a Kindermusik class this fall. My hubby wants to take them in the evenings. Soo.........we found a couple small and low-key things to do to give us a few outings and some opportunities to meet others, but we can still enjoy our preschool days together. Just my thoughts. However, once you make your decision, don't feel guilty over it. You know what's best for your kids and your family, so decide with confidence and enjoy your year! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 We've never done preschool either. We debated sending her this year, but I didn't want to. :blush: It seems like a big pain to get her dressed, ready, and out the door by a set time each day...on top of everything else going on each morning. I also don't want to subject my children to more germs and colds. :tongue_smilie: These are two really good points. DD3 is notorious for getting every germ on earth! I am also worried about getting her ready by 8am. We are usually just getting going and getting ready for homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 This is kinda funny. When our older kids went to ps, we always did preschool. I even worked at my oldest daughter's preschool so she could get reduced tuition. ;) I must've spent thousands of dollars on preschool. Then, we started homeschooling, we had Kid #4 and she became old enough for preschool. She went for about 4 months and I called it quits. It wasn't worth driving her over there and picking her up. She couldn't understand why SHE had to go and the others didn't. :D She cried and fought me everytime - the entire semester. And, honestly, I wasn't real impressed with the preschool itself. I don't know if I'm just getting more picky or inflexible the older I get...or if my parenting philosophy has really changed a lot...or what. :confused: Anyway, we're doing Teach Me Joy for preschool. It's cute, takes about 30 minutes and she gets to say that she "does school", too. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I am also worried about getting her ready by 8am. We are usually just getting going and getting ready for homeschool. Yeah, that was another thing. :glare: Ours started at 8. My son went to a preschool that started at 9:30 and THAT was awesome. You have time to drop your kids off at school, make sure the preschooler actually eats something and then they go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 My heart just breaks a little thinking that she won't get to do what DS did. She isn't your DS. She has her own childhood to have, so it is ok to do things differently. Two lives, belonging to two different people, are going to differ. As long as both are given good childhoods, it's all ok. They don't need to be the same. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Nah, I wouldn't send her. Give her an extracurricular instead. She'll do fine. Rebecca went to preschool 2 days a week for 2 years. Sylvia lasted 4 months at the same place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 She isn't your DS. She has her own childhood to have, so it is ok to do things differently. Two lives, belonging to two different people, are going to differ. As long as both are given good childhoods, it's all ok. They don't need to be the same. :) Rosie :iagree: And I'll repeat my previous response - just because your son's experience was wonderful doesn't mean hers will be. Different group of kids = different dynamics even though the teacher is the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneplustwoIdaho Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 FWIW, if I had it to do over, I wouldn't, especially now that we are HS'ing. I trained them that kids go off to school very early. Now convincing them that homeschooling is also fine is a real challenge. That may not be an issue for you, if they have a HS sibling, or expect to HS later. I didn't expect to HS at that point in time. I have a very different philosophy now. The kids enjoyed it for the most part, and it certainly didn't harm them, but I would find a play group, co-op, etc. and save the $$. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 What would *I* do? I'd keep her home. Why should her experience be the same as her brother's? She is a different person than he. Even if she went to the same preschool, hers would be a different experience. How much better would it be for her to always have known the loving direction of her own mother, in the safety of her own home, with the relationships with her own siblings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 Thanks guys for giving me the permission to say no to preschool. It is going to be hard to call the school and tell them and I need to talk to my husband, but deep down I know that not sending her is the right decision. Every time I pray about it, that is where God leads me. Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorisuewho Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Every time I pray about it, that is where God leads me. Thanks again. That's what matters. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 I talked to DH last night and he thinks we should send her. Back to the drawing board.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorisuewho Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I talked to DH last night and he thinks we should send her. Back to the drawing board.... I'm sorry. DH and I have had plenty of don't-see-eye-to-eye times over whether to homeschool. It is challenging to find compromise when the decisions seem so important and overwhelming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baybedaul Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Take this with a grain of salt, because neither of my children have ever been to preschool. But we were extremely active in a playgroup that we stayed with for 4 years. We built some great friendships, but the other kiddos are all off to school now. So we're back to making new friends, looking for and joining homeschool groups. If I were you, I would just start looking for more of those opportunities now... homeschool park days, games days, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skueppers Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 This is actually a situation where I might let the kid help make the decision. I'm a big believer in being fair to my kids, and try really hard not to promise anything I can't deliver or go back on my promises. For me, the main issue here is that you promised her the preschool experience. If she wants to stay home and take a gymnastics class, great! But if she wants to go to preschool, it seems unfair to go back on the promise to send her if you can afford it, even if it's inconvenient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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