swellmomma Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Oh boy. My kids have an over abundance of toys. Because we live in a tiny little house and they so much they are stored all over the house. The closet in the girls room is the biggest in the house so many get stored in there including the playmobil. We had a ton of it, for weeks now anytime someone wants to play with it dd12 has a freak out, spazzes out that they can't go in her room and starts slamming doors. I take the bucket out of her room and put it in the space between the bedrooms and she comes tearing out laying claim to it all and fighting more and more. Last night she once again started a fight and ended up slamming ds7's fingers in the door. Add to that she refuses to clean her room. Out right refuses even when I go in there to help and break it into smaller tasks. She makes it a big fight, throwing things around etc. After warnings last night that if there was anymore fighting about toys they were being sent to goodwill she scoffed and rolled her eyes. Tonight once again teh fighting started. I filled 3 green garbage bags with barbies, my little ponies and playmobil and drove it straight over to the good will bins. No more issues with fighting over playmobil or messy floors in the bedroom. None of them are happy with me right now, but I can guarantee they will take better care of their toys for now on. The worst part is, even hauling all that out they still have too many toys. It only cleared out 1 section of the closet not having the bins put in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Good for you for sticking to your guns. Maybe I should try that with my dd12's LPS's. Boy, would she have a FIT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 You guys need toy libraries. Toy libraries are one of the greatest inventions ever (if you have a good one.) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 You guys need toy libraries. Toy libraries are one of the greatest inventions ever (if you have a good one.) Rosie Oh, toy libraries I was a member of one of those when my oldest were little. One of my darlings lost a few pieces of duplo. I was so embarrassed I pulled the whole house apart and couldn't find it. I volunteered to pay a fine and never ever borrowed another toy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Oh boy. My kids have an over abundance of toys. Because we live in a tiny little house and they so much they are stored all over the house. The closet in the girls room is the biggest in the house so many get stored in there including the playmobil. We had a ton of it, for weeks now anytime someone wants to play with it dd12 has a freak out, spazzes out that they can't go in her room and starts slamming doors. I take the bucket out of her room and put it in the space between the bedrooms and she comes tearing out laying claim to it all and fighting more and more. Last night she once again started a fight and ended up slamming ds7's fingers in the door. Add to that she refuses to clean her room. Out right refuses even when I go in there to help and break it into smaller tasks. She makes it a big fight, throwing things around etc. After warnings last night that if there was anymore fighting about toys they were being sent to goodwill she scoffed and rolled her eyes. Tonight once again teh fighting started. I filled 3 green garbage bags with barbies, my little ponies and playmobil and drove it straight over to the good will bins. No more issues with fighting over playmobil or messy floors in the bedroom. None of them are happy with me right now, but I can guarantee they will take better care of their toys for now on. The worst part is, even hauling all that out they still have too many toys. It only cleared out 1 section of the closet not having the bins put in there. From the bolded it seems your DD has the problem, not the others. Was it only her toys you removed or did the rest get punished for dd's attitude? For the remainder of the toys: I use to allow the kids one toy box full of toys, the rest were put away. Every month I would swap toys. This helped keep the toys from taking over. It also made the toys seem "new" and were played with more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 This sounds like a bigger problem than too many toys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RahRah Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 From the bolded it seems your DD has the problem, not the others. Was it only her toys you removed or did the rest get punished for dd's attitude? :iagree: It seems your DD's behavior led to all the kids being punished? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 You guys need toy libraries. Toy libraries are one of the greatest inventions ever (if you have a good one.) Rosie We are a member of a toy library but all the toys are geared for the 0-5 age group. Perfect for my dayhome not so good for my own kids though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 From the bolded it seems your DD has the problem, not the others. Was it only her toys you removed or did the rest get punished for dd's attitude? For the remainder of the toys: I use to allow the kids one toy box full of toys, the rest were put away. Every month I would swap toys. This helped keep the toys from taking over. It also made the toys seem "new" and were played with more. This past set of stuff was mainly dd, however the boys have been fighting just as much about them. THe barbies and my little ponies were only her's. TH eplaymobil was everyone's, but she did not fight alone with it. The boys fought over it too, just these last couple weeks she has been even more intense over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Good for you! I had to do this many times. My kids had way too many toys and didn't value them enough to pick them up nicely when they were through playing. I often cleaned out the toy boxes, and they hardly noticed. If I were you, I'd make this a regular occurrence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 I am sure you are expecting lots of "way to go, Mom" and such, but I agree with some of the others that if you have a 12 yo who is throwing things, slamming doors and starting fights, the problem is not that she has too many My Little Ponies and Barbies. I'm all for decluttering, but if one of my girls acted like that, throwing away "her" toys would not be my first line of attack. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Next time, call me rather than Goodwill :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 I am sure you are expecting lots of "way to go, Mom" and such, but I agree with some of the others that if you have a 12 yo who is throwing things, slamming doors and starting fights, the problem is not that she has too many My Little Ponies and Barbies. I'm all for decluttering, but if one of my girls acted like that, throwing away "her" toys would not be my first line of attack. Terri Duh! Thanks for that. I never said the problem was they had to many. I mentioned the sheer quanitity because honestly there was no reason to fight so much over 1 set of toys, when they have tons of others to choose from. Nor is it something they are going to miss terribly much with so much left to chose from. I told them I was going to do this if the fighting continued. I followed through when the fighting continued. I didn't post for a bunch of "way to go, mom" comments. I posted because I have no one else to talk to, and needed to release the tension by the whole thing. As for other issues, they are already being dealt with, with the therapists etc. In fact it was the therapist that suggested taking this step last time we met because NOTHING else was working. I know! Maybe next time I will simply SPANK her. That will get a much better reception here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Oh, so you're joining my 'mean mom' club? Last week I cleared out my 7 yr old's room. Down to 5 outfits and an American Girl doll. Sheet, blanket, doll, 5 outfits, Bible. Oh and 2 pair of shoes (one good, one old) She will be able to earn things back, 1 or 2 items at a time this next week or so. We'll see how it goes. Good for you for following through! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 It may be true that too many toys aren't the direct cause of the disrespect and disobedience, but... The kids need to learn that you mean what you say. If you tell them to pick up their toys, they need to do that. They shouldn't even need multiple warnings. If they don't obey, or worse, if they sass you and argue with you, the toys need to go away. For good. You've got to get the kids' attention and make them realize you're serious. An orderly home really is a peaceful home. There's just something about too much stuff, all over the place, that encourages unruly behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 An orderly home really is a peaceful home. There's just something about too much stuff, all over the place, that encourages unruly behavior. This is so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 (edited) Oh, toy libraries I was a member of one of those when my oldest were little. One of my darlings lost a few pieces of duplo. I was so embarrassed I pulled the whole house apart and couldn't find it. I volunteered to pay a fine and never ever borrowed another toy. I pay a fine for missing bits every three weeks, I think. Most of the pieces show up, but some, well I don't know where they hide. You do know that everyone else's kids lose pieces too, don't you? :tongue_smilie: We are a member of a toy library but all the toys are geared for the 0-5 age group. Perfect for my dayhome not so good for my own kids though That's a shame. Our local is a particularly good one from what I've heard. It's got jigsaw puzzles and board games for those right up to adult age. They just got a grant to spend on science related resources so I put in a request for those models of eyes and ears and all those cool things homeschoolers want to have access to, but don't want to spend $50 each on. :hurray: Rosie Edited August 20, 2011 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I didn't post for a bunch of "way to go, mom" comments. I posted because I have no one else to talk to, and needed to release the tension by the whole thing. . :grouphug: I know how it feels to have on one to talk to. When I'm upset, or overwhelmed, one of my first 'take care of myself' steps is to post on a forum. It does help, somehow, to know that someone will listen and hopefully understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 We have been in the process of cleaning out toys for awhile. I told them if they can't keep them off the floor and put them away in the right spot they are gone. I put everything in pile in the middle of the floor and made them put what they wanted away and gave away the rest! It feels good!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChandlerMom Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Our rule has always been that if they fight over a toy, the "bad toy" gets put in time-out. When they were preschoolers, that meant being put on a high shelf in their room until they earned it back. Now it usually means being tossed into the storage area under the stairs for a week (or until I get around to cleaning in there). We also taught the eldest to always let the younger child have the toy, observing they lose interest quickly; or the strategy of trading with them. For us, I think it really helped to not just teach them what we DIDN'T want and know the punishment, but to teach them exactly what we DO want them to do when they have a conflict with a sibling. I took a lot of supervision to intercept before things went south, and practice, practice, practice giving them the words and walking them thru conflict resolution. Bedrooms are only for dressing and sleeping. The playroom is by their bedroom and is a toy madhouse. They also know any arguing means they have to come downstairs, where they can be more closely supervised and have a much smaller bin of toys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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