Barb_ Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) a Facebook invite? It's happened twice now and caught me off guard both times. The first time it happened, I could sort of understand it. A young mom at the park with her son, an only, seemed lonely and after chatting with her and her little boy she asked if I could friend her on facebook. Well, no. You are very nice, but I don't really want you knowing everything about me. The second time was weirder. I met this family at the motel pool when we were there touring a college for my older daughter. The mom insinuated herself into my space, plopping down for a (loud) chat on the lounge opposite me. After some time she started in about how great it would be if she could friend me on Facebook. I was having a hard enough time getting rid of her in person. Social networking is beginning to bleed over into IRL manners, I'm afraid. The breakdown of the boundary between public and private is only part of the problem. My 17yo took a college class last year with a professor my older daughter had taken a class with 4 years earlier. When my older dd had him, she said the professor tended to allow the class to go of on tangents and sort of lead the discussions where they would, but overall she got a lot out of the class. Last year, however was a different story. Jenna said the discussions were a free-for-all with people screaming at each other about the "frickin' federal governement" taking away their guns so they could tax them to death. Any dissenting opinion was shouted down, and logic was completely absent. She said the class was very like certain message boards or the comment section of youtube. It used to be that people would admonish those who would get carried away, "Remember there is a human being on the other side of the screen." Now it seems people are beginning not to care IRL either. Barb Edited July 25, 2011 by Barb F. PA in AZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 a Facebook invite? It's happened twice now and caught me off guard both times. The first time it happened, I could sort of understand it. A young mom at the park with her son, an only, seemed lonely and after chatting with her and her little boy she asked if I could friend her on facebook. Well, no. You are very nice, but I don't really want you knowing everything about me. The second time was weirder. I met this family at the motel pool when we were there touring a college for my older daughter. The mom insinuated herself into my space, plopping down for a (loud) chat on the lounge opposite me. After some time she started in about how great it would be if she could friend me on Facebook. I was having a hard enough time getting rid of her in person. Social networking is beginning to bleed over into IRL manners, I'm afraid. The breakdown of the boundary between public and private is only part of the problem. My 17yo took a college class last year with a professor my older daughter had taken a class with 4 years earlier. When my older dd had him, she said the professor tended to allow the class to go of on tangents and sort of lead the discussions where they would, but overall she got a lot out of the class. Last year, however was a different story. Jenna said the discussions were a free-for-all with people screaming at each other about the "frickin' federal governement" taking away their guns so they could tax them to death. Any dissenting opinion was shouted down, and logic was completely absent. She said the class was very like certain message boards or the comment section of youtube. It used to be that people would admonish those who would get carried away, "Remember there is a human being on the other side of the screen." Now it seems people are beginning not to care IRL either. Barb I don't think the young mom was being rude. I think it might be her way of saying "I'd like to get to you better. Let's keep in touch." The pool lady just sounds creepy and weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I am the same way online that I am IRL. I might seem like I make a lot of dumb jokes and silly commentary but I am totally like that IRL too. I think a lot of people are also the same way IRL that they are online. *I would not allow strangers on my FB, I have enough problems getting rid of farmville/fish/zoo/other other game invites from people I actually like. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I don't think the young mom was being rude. I think it might be her way of saying "I'd like to get to you better. Let's keep in touch." Maybe not rude, but lacking in the social understanding that it takes more than one nice chat at the park to make friends. I think a "I hope we bump into each other at the park again" would be more appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Maybe not rude, but lacking in the social understanding that it takes more than one nice chat at the park to make friends. I think a "I hope we bump into each other at the park again" would be more appropriate. Anymore it can be the equivalent of getting someone's number so you can hang out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Maybe I have a different take because I seem to be a bit younger than the average demographic here, but I don't find it odd when people want to friend me on Facebook. If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarawatsonim Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Maybe I have a different take because I seem to be a bit younger than the average demographic here, but I don't find it odd when people want to friend me on Facebook. If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. :iagree: Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 I agree with you, Barb. You have just met these people, likely not to run into them again, not like you have a whole lot in common, no history, in fact you found the one quite annoying. How does "friending" on facebook mean that you have become friends and need to be connected in that way? How does it mean you have become friends?? I think facebook gives a false sense of friendship. Yeah, I'll friend you, and I might not have seen you in twenty years and we have never spoken in that time, and we weren't even friends!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abreakfromlife Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. Then I wouldn't ever post anything online, ever. :confused: I don't want strangers seeing pics of my kids or even hearing what I did that day or where I'm going tomorrow night....but I want my actual friends to know that, so I post it on FB. I do use the privacy settings tho, to weed out nosy family members :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Maybe I have a different take because I seem to be a bit younger than the average demographic here, but I don't find it odd when people want to friend me on Facebook. If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. Something that I do on Facebook is create friend lists and send my posts to the appropriate group of friends. I have one group that I just named "friends." These are the people I know IRL and want them to hear about my kids or my house or whatever. Another group is named after a FB game I play. In that list I have both IRL friends and "friends" who I don't know at all IRL--I found them in various ways while looking for neighbors for the game. I post game requests only to that group. I have a couple of FB friends who I don't really know, but they know my dh and I didn't feel comfortable NOT accepting their friend request. But they hardly see any of my posts, since they're not on either of my lists. (I do reject some IRL acquaintances on a case-by-case basis, so it's not like I accept all). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Switch to Google +, then you can have circles. :D You could even make a circle of "random people that creep me out". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Maybe I have a different take because I seem to be a bit younger than the average demographic here, but I don't find it odd when people want to friend me on Facebook. If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. :iagree: I'm "old" :D and use fb the same. I actually have a few groups set up on FB so I can filter some posts from some people if I want to. I have a group locked down to see almost nothing from me, but I still appear as friends to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Switch to Google +, then you can have circles. :D You could even make a circle of "random people that creep me out". :iagree: I already have a circle for extended family I don't really like. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) Maybe I have a different take because I seem to be a bit younger than the average demographic here, but I don't find it odd when people want to friend me on Facebook. If there's something I wouldn't want a complete stranger to know, I don't post it online. Period. And I use Facebook as a way to make new friends, as well as keep in touch with the old ones. :iagree: and like another person said, it's like getting someone's number. There's actually a mom I run into at the park sometimes and she's really cool. I would've asked her about fb, but she mentioned that she wasn't on it. (I thought) we really hit it off and I would love to hang out with her some more. But maybe she's on a message board somewhere saying "There's this freak of a mom at the park that won't leave me alone...." LOL! ETA: I meant to add that I think the fact that people want you to be their friend just means that you seem to be a nice person and people like you! I don't think it's poor manners. I'd take it as a compliment, but of course, if you don't want to friend them.....don't. Edited July 26, 2011 by T'smom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Some people look at Facebook as a way to gather friends, up their numbers, or just connect with *anyone*. I use Facebook for people that I only know well....and who I know are not crazy LOL. I don't want to post details about my upcoming vacation for someone crazy to break into my house while I'm gone. I wouldn't want to be friends with the people that you mention either. Although, I'd lean more towards the young mom than the crazy pool lady....the young mom may just be looking for friends in the area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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