Boys in ballet / dance? Feedback wanted

[Nart]

I haven't met many boys in real life who take ballet or dance. It seems that on these boards that several people have sons who take ballet or dance classes. I was wondering how the reactions have been when people find out that your son(s) dance. Also how your sons feel about participating in an activity where there are often not very many boys.

 

My son is 4 1/2 and has been taking pre-ballet / creative movement class for the past year. He likes it and I think it is a great activity not only to learn how to dance, but it seems like it will help him do better in other sports. So far he hasn't really noticed that primarily girls take dance class, since there is another boy in his class. I have been surprised at some comments that I have heard from friends and family such as - that's great, but aren't you worried that he will be teased and why would want to make his life more difficult. Then a few weeks ago when I picked him up from his play-based preschool a little girl in his class heard me tell the teacher that he was going to his dance recital. The girl (who is really nice, sweet kid ) said, "he is going to dancing like for girls?" He didn't hear her, but I picture those comments might be common. So I am just wondering about your experiences?

[Annie G]

My kids do musical theater and boys who can dance well are....very popular. Girls love boys who can sing and dance. And they're even popular with other guys - maybe because they seem so comfortable with who they are.

If he branches out as he gets older and learns some other styles of dance in addition to ballet, he'll find more boys in his classes. Hip hop classes are boy heavy in our area.

The older he gets, the fewer comments he'll hear about it, I bet. Honestly, voice, dance, and improv classes have really made a difference in my son's life. And his goal is to join the army and become a tank commander!

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I took ballet when I was 7 and there were 2 brothers in my class. As a kid I thought it was kinda weird, but I never said anything. I realized someone had to play the prince and do the lifting, and I figured they got to be around a lot of pretty girls with little competition. Your ds might not appreciate the second point, but I think he might like being the prince in all the stories :001_smile:

[AK_Mom4]

Honestly, if it is an activity he enjoys, I would just let the comments roll off your back (and his!). People seem bent on making rude comments ("Aren't you too short to play basketball?" "I thought soccer was a boys sport!") - don't let them ruin his fun.

 

You could always to teach him to say "It's a great place to meet girls!" and wink...... That would probably shut them up.

[Farrar]

My sons do ballet. One of them is really into it and the other just sort of joined in because they like to tag along after each other (I'm trying to get him to do contemporary next year, because I think he'll like that better). They're still really young - 6.5 - so it's not like they've gone really far with it or anything, but my ballet lover is on his third year of some sort of pre-ballet/ballet program.

 

We don't know a ton of ballet dancing boys, but we meet a few and we've seen more at the school with a pre-professional program. I have strong feelings about how absurd pushing gender roles onto kids is, so it would be easy to get my rant on. Basically, I just think that boys should be allowed to pursue dance, wear pink, play with dolls, and so forth with no judgment. I certainly don't see my role as to prepare them for dealing with close-minded people by shutting down their options. I'd much rather help them have confidence in their choices and be prepared to stand behind them.

 

That said, we homeschool and most of our friends are other liberal-minded homeschoolers or people at our liberal church. We know lots of long haired boys, boys who wore their sister's dresses when they were little, and so forth - basically, none of the kids in our extended social group ever bat an eye at my kids' love of ballet.

[Halcyon]

My younger son has done ballet-and did a huge performance with 20 little girls in tutus and him in his "prince" costume--adorable!! and is now doing a more generalist class that includes jazz, tap, ballet, musical theatre and voice. He loves dancing, and absolutely loved being the only boy in his class, but he tends to prefer girls.

 

People have made comments to him, and me, but nothing too serious. Mostly, girls adore him and he enjoys the attention ;)

[kewb]

My son took ballet for 2 years when he was 4 & 5. He loved it at the time. Dh was fine with it. His friends gave him a lot of flak about his son taking ballet. Dh simply pointed out to the naysayers that it is a proven fact that the study of ballet helps you perform better in just about every other sport. They never mentioned it again.

 

I wish we had been able for him to continue taking ballet. Now if you ask him he is not interested in returning to dance.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Isn't there a Disney movie with the Rock and a daughter taking ballet? I remember the scene of the professional football player sweating and barely making it through the ballet teacher's lesson :D

[Thea]

My ds has been taking tap lessons since he was 9. Comments have never really bothered me.

He also plays soccer. Last year we were late to practice because of tap and when the boys asked ds where he was he said "Tap".

 

They sniggered and one of them said "Didn't you know that's a GIRL thing." followed by hearty guffaws from the rest of the team.

 

My ds just looked at them and said "Dude, yeah, it's a GIRL thing---DUH!"

 

He is the only boy his age right now (the only other teen boy at the studio graduates this year) and he is loving all the attention from the girls-especially the older teens.

He loves tap and wants to try hip hop and jazz--right now he has no interest in ballet, but if he knew how much it would help in the other dance disciplines, I bet he'd do it.

 

He has a pretty healthy self image.

Dance is awesome for confidence building and body awareness. I love that he enjoys it.

 

Here he is --this is one of his dances from last year. He also did a duo with his little sister last year.

Edited July 12, 2011 by Thea

[Plink]

I feel your pain. :grouphug: My DS starts scouts this fall, and I too am bracing for the negative comments.

 

DS is naturally a leader, so I'm hoping and praying that he continues to choose to do whatever he wants regardless of the influence of the crowd. To date he has only received one negative comment and he easily let it roll off his back. Who knows, maybe he will drag a few of the guys back to class with him :lol:

[Tarreymere]

Our experience is that while some people may raise an eyebrow, guys who are 'into' dance tend to be very popular with the girls who are 'into' dance........they are also usually not the boys who have difficulty speaking coherently with the opposite sex.

[catz]

 

Here he is --this is one of his dances from last year. He also did a duo with his little sister last year.

[ATTACH]5802[/ATTACH]

 

Adorable! :-)

 

Honestly, that is not an issue here at all. My son doesn't dance in a studio, but he does do musical theater and circus and some other "girl" classes. My daughter dances and plenty of boys dance at her studio and none of these kids get teased at all. There are such a wide variety of activities available for kids here and we're in a liberal community not big on gender stereotypes. If your son loves it, I'd let comments roll off your back and make sure you're giving him tools to deal with any naysayers.

[abbeyej]

I guess we've just been lucky. We haven't encountered much negativity...

 

I'm not sure if ds *mentions* ballet much around, say, his Boy Scout troop -- but I don't think he hides it either. There have been times when he couldn't go on a campout because of rehearsals or performances. All of his home school buddies know he dances, and no one has ever said anything rude or skeptical about it.

 

We did make a conscious decision at one point to leave the sweet little RAD ballet school where he had started out and move to the big pre-professional school across town (more driving, more money, sigh) because they could offer male teachers, mens' technique class (ds *loves* this -- it's when they get to work on big jumps, pirouettes, strength)... Around 8 or 9, he really seemed to begin to need that, when it hadn't really been an issue before. So we switched about the time he turned 10. If he had been a girl, I would have been happy to stick with the little RAD school for a couple more years.

 

I did recently buy ds a t-shirt like this one... He wore it for the jazz performance at the end of his summer intensive...

 

ETA: The post above is totally right about the ballet dudes *not* being the ones who get tongue-tied around girls. ;)

Edited July 12, 2011 by abbeyej

[Belacqua]

I'm reminded of an interview I saw with figure skater Kurt Browning. When his friends teased him about choosing figure skating over hockey, he pointed out, "You guys spend all day with other sweaty guys. I spend my days with pretty girls. Still want to call me a sissy?"

 

That's a very good point about dance helping with other sports. A ballet teacher in my family once taught a class to the local NFL team. It was largely a publicity thing, and I suspect they figured this sweet, old lady would have them stretch a bit then go home. They were unaware that the sweet old lady was infamous for her Iron Barre. Several claimed they had never been worked so hard in their lives.

[Halcyon]

My younger son has done ballet-and did a huge performance with 20 little girls in tutus and him in his "prince" costume--adorable!! and is now doing a more generalist class that includes jazz, tap, ballet, musical theatre and voice. He loves dancing, and absolutely loved being the only boy in his class, but he tends to prefer girls.

 

People have made comments to him, and me, but nothing too serious. Mostly, girls adore him and he enjoys the attention ;)

[jec3113]

My son has taken ballet for 6 years. He is now taking Irish dance as well. It took several years and 5 studios but we finally found one that has several boys in it of all ages. Even big football playing high school boys! My mother has a bigger problem with it than else. Go figure. The girls fight over the boys it is quite entertaining to watch! If your son wants ballet, take ballet. My only advice is to look for a "serious" ballet school. Not a recreational dance studio.

[Lady Marmalade]

My DS is a dancer. :) He's taking ballet, hip-hop, jazz, lyrical and a large group production, and he LOVES dancing. (He's 7, btw.)

 

Sadly, I've gotten lots of "those" comments about him being in dance- especially in ballet. I mostly tell them the exact same thing, that he loves dance, AND he's not stupid. He sees the one or two boys in a class and the throngs of girls admiring them and that's appealing to him.

 

He has no interest in sports at all, and that's what I hear most often- people start questioning me that maybe he'd prefer soccer or basketball or something. They have no idea the workout that dance actually is. He enjoys it, and that's what's important to all of us.

[Tess in the Burbs]

My son did dance one summer. There were lots if boys but he chose not to continue. Let your child decide what he likes and not worry about comments from others. If he has questions explain why people say things but hopefully he will do what he likes.

[redsquirrel]

Both my boys dance. well, my 6 year old is in the 'baby' classes but considers himself a ballet dancer.

 

My son has been dancing ballet for years. I can honestly say we have never had a negative comment. His school also has a boys class so he spends time with his peers. The school has a professional company and everything is to a very high standard. My son loves it.

 

FWIW, both my boys also do Tae kwon do. They are very similar skills. I feel like his martial arts inform his dance and vice versa. He is a powerful and precise dancer and his martial arts forms are fluid and beautiful.

 

My boys feel badly for other boys who never get the chance to dance. They love it. It is physically challenging like nothing else. And, as my son says, as a boy you get all the good parts and you get to jump like CRAZY!

 

Don't expect or worry about negative comments. Your apprehension will be felt by your son.

[Jenny in Florida]

I was wondering how the reactions have been when people find out that your son(s) dance. Also how your sons feel about participating in an activity where there are often not very many boys.

 

My son's been taking dance lessons since he was six. He started at the ballet school and spent several years there taking ballet, tap, jazz and character classes. He also danced in their Nutcracker productions for five years and in several company ballets.

 

This past year, he moved to a less ballet-focued studio where he continued jazz and tap. Next year, he'll start taking classes at a brand new performing arts studio, where he'll be taking two tap classes and musical theatre dance.

 

He's had some negative comments made over the years, but he early on figured out that anyone who had a problem with him dancing wasn't someone whose opinion he valued.

 

It seems like we went through kind of a critical stage when other boys were a little hard on him, maybe around the ages of 9 to 11. I can't remember hearing any teasing or anything for at least a couple of years now.

 

I love that spending so much time with girls has made him very comfortable with them. He doesn't see them as "other," because they've always been his peers.

 

And, of course, because there aren't a lot of boys, he always gets good solos in the recital dances.

 

I guess I really don't understand why it would be a problem?

Edited July 19, 2011 by Jenny in Florida