I am worried about my weight...

[Shelly in IL]

I can't seem to get it together and stay good for 5 seconds! I've been on and off programs, and always fail. My weight is steadily creeping up. I don't want to be so overweight. Why, oh why, can't I control myself?

[Liz CA]

I can't seem to get it together and stay good for 5 seconds! I've been on and off programs, and always fail. My weight is steadily creeping up. I don't want to be so overweight. Why, oh why, can't I control myself?

 

I cannot speak from experience with this program, however, I heard a lot of good reports from others who have tried this. It's called "Lose it for life."

I think you can get more info here http://www.newlife.com Click on "Workshops" and scroll down a bit.

[mrs.m]

This is a great book and helped me:

 

Made to Crave

[justasque]

I can't seem to get it together and stay good for 5 seconds! I've been on and off programs, and always fail. My weight is steadily creeping up. I don't want to be so overweight. Why, oh why, can't I control myself?

 

What have you tried? What is tripping you up?

[LAmom]

I hear you! I feel so sick and have all these different health issues....and I know what to eat and what not to eat! Yet, I can't lose weight. :glare: I want to give up white sugar and white flour and can't even do that! I think it is laziness for me, not making effort to control myself more. A good book I read is this book.

 

But, I feel the same as you. Do you have a lot to lose or are you "normal" size and just don't want to continue gaining? I have about 80 pounds that need to go. It stinks.

[Shelly in IL]

It seems so daunting. I just started reading Made to Crave, gotta love downloading books! I think I substitute cooking/eating for love, loneliness, and my "me" time. Ridiculous. I also eat without thinking. It isnt that I don't know how to eat properly, I just eat and eat and eat! Perhaps really thinking about my eating, and becoming more in tune with what I actually put into my body will help?

[eternalknot]

I think losing weight is as much a mental thing, as it is a physical thing.

 

My MIL is a chronic dieter; each time she starts off sincerely believing in herself and desiring to FINALLY do it -- and to have long-term success with it. Then she'll do something to sabatoge her efforts, and it spirals down from there until she gets her next wind/motivation. Cue the next cycle.

 

In her case, I think some of it is psychological; her identity is tied to her size, in a strange way. It's almost like she's afraid or maybe feels undeserving of looking attractive to other people. (Attractive being subjective; she comes from farm stock where her size isn't a huge issue but they're off of the rural Eastern European farm and now living in a US metropolitan city where her size is definitely judged.) She has issues in her past that I'd guess contribute to her mental roadbumps, and IMO her chronic dieting will never see long-term success until she works past them. No matter how far down you bury something, it will rear it's ugly head. Maybe she's afraid to be too attractive; maybe it'll bring out her husband's jealous side? perhaps she won't feel comfortable handling the attention? could it be that she fears not being taken as seriously as a professional in her industry? I'm not sure even she knows why. I certainly don't, and can only speculate.

 

All that to say that I think for many people who find themselves sabatoging their ongoing efforts (at dieting, or anything really) you have to address the issue at it's core. Figure out why you're doing it. Otherwise the dieting, etc. is only a band-aid for the larger problem. Band-aids don't fix our hurts, they cover them up and temporarily make everything seem all better.

 

Willpower is a skill that can be honed. It's a bit woo-woo, out there, but consider EFT as a possible starting point for developing your willpower. I don't personally do it, but I know people who do; including my MIL, who just recently began using it in conjunction with a weight loss program. Google "EFT" and see if it might help you; if not, consider Overeaters Anon or a similar support program designed to help you work through the mental part of dieting. Once you shed the mental barriers, any program designed to address the physical part of weight loss will work for you. Programs are only tools, and as such will only work within the limits of their handler.

 

And good luck. It's frustrating, I know.

[tonygirl]

I know this can sometimes help write down the food you eat and time of day this way you can see where you struggle the most or a pattern.

 

Also wear one of those things that tell you how many cals your burning during your day. This will show you your efforts.

 

Workout now I know that is like :ohmy: but ya gotta do it. I hate working out myself I get bored but Curves for Woman has helped that been going on n off ever since 6yr old was born. I love it because they have the curvves smart program that shows you yr results every workout. Also the program keeps pushing you so you don't platoe.

 

Last give yourself a cheat day 1 x a week every other week whatever you want. Now I don't mean eat everything in sight or a whole choc cake but treat yourself. For me if I am craving a piece of choc cake I am going to eat 5x's more trying to fill that craving with something else.

 

The more you eat on a regular basis the higher yr matabolism will go.

drink water. Completely cut out pop or cut it way way down. crazy how much this helps. Well these were my thoughts

 

Teresa:D

[HiddenJewel]

Have you ruled out physical issues that would cause weight gain like low thyroid?

[swellmomma]

I am the same as you. I have 80+ lbs to lose but tend to self sabotage if I make the slightest drop in lbs even though I am trying to drop lbs. I am working through the mental stuff that causes me to self sabotage, which is not easy or fun, BUT I know I will not have the ability to stop doing this to myself and allow myself to drop the weight without doing so.

[twoforjoy]

I'm going to suggest reading Linda Bacon's Health at Every Size. Sometimes taking the pressure off to get down to a certain weight and instead focusing on adopting healthy habits for the many other benefits they provide is what people need to make long-term changes.

[Rebecca VA]

I've been reading and re-reading "You on a Diet" by Drs. Roizen and Oz. It really goes deeply into the science of how your body interacts with fat. One of the most basic principles of the book is that we should all walk consistently for half an hour a day. Almost anyone can do that, especially if they have a dog or a walking partner to keep them company.

 

I've found that a half hour a day easily turns into one-hour walks twice a day, especially now that it's summer. I've added on exercise classes during the day. But even on my very worst days I force myself to walk half an hour. It's really working wonders for my metabolism.

[Mama Geek]

You know I have often thought of posting something very similar and always deleted it. If I lost about 100 lbs I would be the right weight for me. That is what I was in high school and it was healthy.

 

I have lost weight by eating low glycemic index foods. It is a healthy way to eat and I ate food that I liked. That is how I was eating when I finally got pregnant and I was able to continue all through pregnancy. I only gained about 10 lbs and after dd was born I weight 30 lbs less than when I started eating low gi foods.

 

It is now a year later and I am back to my old habits. I munch almost constantly through the day. I have regained the 30 lbs. I still get out and exercise some, but not as much as I was even when I was pregnant with dd. It is what I do when I am bored/lonely/upset you name it. It drives me nuts...I guess I need to go back to taking it one day at a time.

[hsmom]

I know it is something simple, but lately what helps me is to get out of the house. Be outside and keeping busy for a large part of the day. I find that I eat less.

 

Also something simple that has helped me is I make sure I take my daily vitamins, start my day with a green smoothie (I know why would that help, I am not sure. I do feel I have a bit more energy, I feel full for most of the morning, and don't want to sit and do nothing). Then I have eliminated any snack food "I" like out of the house. There is still snacks in my house, but it is things I won't eat so that helps. I keep fresh fruit and veggies around. Also whole wheat starchy items (makes me feel a bit better when I do eat them, vs regular ones).

 

I have not lost tons of weight, but I do feel better.

 

Now one lady I know has lost over 100 lbs, she eats all day all the time. She did it all through weight watchers.

[WishboneDawn]

It seems so daunting. I just started reading Made to Crave, gotta love downloading books! I think I substitute cooking/eating for love, loneliness, and my "me" time. Ridiculous. I also eat without thinking. It isnt that I don't know how to eat properly, I just eat and eat and eat! Perhaps really thinking about my eating, and becoming more in tune with what I actually put into my body will help?

 

I'm like that. What helps for me is routine, proper filling meals (no skimping!) at set times and exercise. Not exercise to lose weight but to get out and have time for myself and sort of reset myself during the day.

 

I don't think, for me at least, that it's really a weight loss issue. Instead it's about having a predictable and refreshing day. After I manage that the weight often takes care of itself. Anything that puts too much focus on my weight tends to backfire.

[hsmomto5]

I am starting Take Shape for Life (Medifast). I have been trying and trying to do this. I need to step away from food and have it done for me. I didn't think I would ever go tis route but after trying WW and focusing so much on fixing the food, planning the food...I just need to have it fool proof for awhile. I have a friend who has lost 70 lbs and she is now a coach. She will be with me all the way. I am so ready to be free of all of this.

Lora in NC

[Rhonda in TX]

I have found that I have to have a support group and accountability. I have tried many times on my own and it just doesn't work. This is what I'm doing.

 

- I meet a neighbor friend 3 mornings a week to walk/run. We've both admitted that there are many times that if we didn't know the other person was waiting for us, we would have stayed in bed.

- I attend Weight Watchers meetings. I get encouraged to keep with it. Getting on that scale can be a real incentive to stay on program. (not always - I'm definitely not perfect :) )

- My sister also attends WW with me. We know that we have to account to each other if we are not there. This past Saturday, I really did not want to go, but I knew she would be there, so I went. It ended up being a great meeting and I was so glad I went.

 

You need to find what works for you to keep you focused and on track. Recognize that it's not going to happen overnight and you will have weeks where you don't eat properly. It's taken me 8 months to lose 25 pounds. It's been slow going, but where would I be now if I hadn't tried? Where will I be a year from now if I give up? If I don't give up, the weight should be off and I will be very pleased with my size. If I do, I will probably gain all the weight back and be back where I started. No, thanks.

[ktgrok]

I'm currently reading some very interesting things on why we "can't help it." The idea is that our fat storage system is not working right, and so too many of the calories we eat are going straight to fat storage. This means not enough calories are available for energy needs by the cells. So the body wants us to eat more to try to supply those energy needs. In other words, the overeating is a symptom, not a cause. And honestly, if you read more about it really does make sense and explains why some people can eat so much and not gain, and others eat very little and baloon up. It explains whey diets don't seem to work long term. And heck, it's worth a try, lol.

 

Honestly, if you've been following a low fat diet, with lots of carbs, that will actually make some people hungrier, and never satisfied. If you are one of those people, then I'd really look into this.

The answer seems to be to regulate the fat storage hormone, insulin, so that the calories we eat are used for energy rather than fat storage. A low carb diet is the best way to do this. The book Why We Get Fat by Taubes is really good for understanding this, although it is not a diet book in the traditional sense.

 

This is an article from the New York Times by Taubes, that goes over a lot of it (it's a long article) - http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/magazine/what-if-it-s-all-been-a-big-fat-lie.html?src=pm

Edited July 10, 2011 by ktgrok

[mrs.m]

It seems so daunting. I just started reading Made to Crave, gotta love downloading books! I think I substitute cooking/eating for love, loneliness, and my "me" time. Ridiculous. I also eat without thinking. It isnt that I don't know how to eat properly, I just eat and eat and eat! Perhaps really thinking about my eating, and becoming more in tune with what I actually put into my body will help?

 

 

 

As you read the book, I think you'll realize that it really isn't only about the food. It's very counterintuitive to what the world tells us about diets (although she emphasizes making better choices). I tried and tried to count calories and force myself to follow the diet rules. But those are all man made rules and they didn't address the real issue as to why I was just eating when I wasn't even hungry even when I was on the perfect diet plan following all the perfect diet advice. I was able to work any diet to meet my food addiction cravings. I found the more that I try to fill those needs by going to God, the more the weight continues to drop off. Sometimes this is even harder than counting calories because I have to deal with my insecurities and other issues. But it's been a great journey because I'm really fulfilled.

 

 

I hope the book is helpful for you! :grouphug:

 

PS: go to her website. She has some free printables. I have Bible verses on my fridge to remind me to think before I eat.

[Jami]

A few things really quickly before I'm out the door for church--

 

40 lbs seems overwhelming, I know. But don't wait until it's 80 lbs, or more.

 

I've lost 60+ lbs over the past 14 months and still have 20-30 to go. Starting out with 80 to lose was truly daunting, I wish I'd gotten serious when it was 40-50.

 

Build muscle. Women gain weight as they age even if they don't eat more calories because they lose muscle. Build muscle. Speed up your metabolism. Hours and hours of cardio won't keep the fat off the way more muscle will.

 

Eat for nutrient density. You crave more and need more food when your food choices lack the nutrients your body desperately needs and wants. Most women try to eat too low fat, or eat too many fake/engineered foods like soy crap added to everything. Better to eat full fat, dense calories in smaller portions, your body will feel more satisfied and you're less likely to just eat and eat and eat trying to feel full and content. Also, I've had to learn to eat with fueling in mind, rather than entertaining. Food is a tricky thing. We have memories and emotions surrounding certain foods, or we seek them out for comfort. But if you can see the foods you eat as having a purpose for fueling your life--motherhood, homecare, workouts, etc. and less as a way to be entertained or comforted, then it's not so hard to walk away from the treats or comfort foods. Find other ways to be soothed or escape--music, hot bath, books, prayer, meditation...

 

I also found the book "Love to Eat, Hate to Eat" by Elyse Fitzpatrick helpful at the start of my journey.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I've been in the same boat as you most of the last 10 years. This past year, however, after reading a gazillion diet and health books and trying a dozen diets and programs, I've finally realized that it's not about dieting and trying to control my weight at all.

 

Now, my entire focus is about only putting things in my body that are nourishing. I'm concentrating on eating real, whole foods, and making delicious dishes out of these real whole foods, and eating until I feel full, but not stuffed. I'm slowly losing weight, but the very best part is that I feel so much better. My body and mind have both improved in energy.

 

You really are what you eat. And if you provide your body with good, wholesome nourishment, it will feel good and wholesome. If you deprive your body and feed it junk, it will feel deprived and like a piece of junk.

[Kathleen in VA]

I was successful in losing 10 pounds earlier this year by planning ahead of time everything I was going to eat and making sure I had those foods in the house. A friend gave me a typed up, day by day diet that was low carb, lots of protein, veggies and some fruit.

 

I actually forget to eat (oddly enough food has never been big on my list of interests) and so by the time I get into the kitchen I'm starving and will grab anything fast and easy, which usually means something high carb and/or high fat. I found that when I had a very specific plan - each meal and snack laid out for me - I was less likely to wander into the kitchen hungry for something and then grab something stupid like the tortilla chips. It's the decision making that always trips me up.

 

Maybe it would help to lay out a 4-week plan like that. I posted mine on the fridge with a magnet so it was always visible and I made sure I had everything on it ready to go. I froze the meat in smaller ziploc bags in just the portion size I needed for a meal, for instance. That way most of the work was already done and all I had to do was grab and go. The high protein diet also made me feel very full at the end of each meal.

[Renee in NC]

A few things really quickly before I'm out the door for church--

 

40 lbs seems overwhelming, I know. But don't wait until it's 80 lbs, or more.

 

I've lost 60+ lbs over the past 14 months and still have 20-30 to go. Starting out with 80 to lose was truly daunting, I wish I'd gotten serious when it was 40-50.

 

Build muscle. Women gain weight as they age even if they don't eat more calories because they lose muscle. Build muscle. Speed up your metabolism. Hours and hours of cardio won't keep the fat off the way more muscle will.

 

Eat for nutrient density. You crave more and need more food when your food choices lack the nutrients your body desperately needs and wants. Most women try to eat too low fat, or eat too many fake/engineered foods like soy crap added to everything. Better to eat full fat, dense calories in smaller portions, your body will feel more satisfied and you're less likely to just eat and eat and eat trying to feel full and content. Also, I've had to learn to eat with fueling in mind, rather than entertaining. Food is a tricky thing. We have memories and emotions surrounding certain foods, or we seek them out for comfort. But if you can see the foods you eat as having a purpose for fueling your life--motherhood, homecare, workouts, etc. and less as a way to be entertained or comforted, then it's not so hard to walk away from the treats or comfort foods. Find other ways to be soothed or escape--music, hot bath, books, prayer, meditation...

 

I also found the book "Love to Eat, Hate to Eat" by Elyse Fitzpatrick helpful at the start of my journey.

 

I have lost 80 pounds since last September. I have leveled out here recently, but I moved and quit the routines that were helping me.

 

I worked out at the same time every day every week. I was working out a LOT, but I had more time (kids went to school.)

 

I ate basically the same pattern of foods:

 

Breakfast - fruit, 1 egg, and 3 egg whites

Lunch - beans and a large salad, more fruit

Dinner - protein of some sort and cooked vegetables

 

I didn't have to think about what I was doing - it became automatic. Take the dc to school, go to the Y, work out 60 minutes on the cardio machines, do a Nautilus circuit. I varied it up somewhat by taking a class periodically, but doing the same thing day in and day out made it easier to stick to.

 

Once I moved, my routine was thrown off and I haven't gotten back to it. I still have a lot to lose, so it is really important to me. I don't tend to eat when I am emotional - I tend to eat when I am not paying attention.

 

Tracking my food helps. I started out aiming for 35 grams of fiber per day, then attacked my protein intake. My diet was still high carb, but as you can see from the above, it was not grain-based. I also gave up dairy.

[missiemick]

I've been working on several things:

- Exercise because I want to be healthy and take care of my body - not to look a certain way. (WAY hard -- still working on this)

- Get out of the house for exercise at least twice a day. It helps me to eat smaller meals because I get sick if I eat too much and then exercise. I've always eaten large portions and this has really helped me to be satisfied with less.

- Greatly reduced/eliminated flour and sugar. They are highly addictive and it's tough the first few weeks. Once I got through it though (and it took a while), I actually feel bad when I eat those things which keeps me from eating them again.:)

- Add healthy fats to my diet (avocado, nuts, coconut oil, real butter . . .) and eliminate bad ones (canola oil, soy . . .).

- Try to eat only "real" food.

- Give myself a cheat day. Only one -- it's so easy to sneak a little here and there. For a while my cheat day actually made it difficult for me to continue with my new lifestyle so I had to cut it out. Now, I eat less of the "bad" stuff on my cheat day because it doesn't taste as good anymore. But -- it does help me mentally.

 

Hope this helps.