Denisemomof4 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) There's such an emphasis to give gifts to the three swim coaches who did so well with our girls this year. They won many medals and awards! While I definitely support the idea, I've never encountered anything like this before when my boys were in sports/activities. Is this something new? I gave $20 towards gift cards for the three coaches and $175 total was raised. Most people gave $5 - $15, some didn't give because they have their own elaborate gifts. Should I do anything else? Is this something new? What do you give your coaches? Even the lead coach sent an email to the entire group with what she's doing for the other coaches: bouquet of flowers and a framed picture of the team for each. :confused: Now the coaches are exchanging gifts? ETA: I just want to say that I agree that a successful season doesn't matter when considering gifts. It probably didn't come off that way. Edited June 15, 2011 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaLee Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We've always done gift for coaches-even for an unsuccessful season. They put a lot of time and energy into the kids, so I don't mind donating to the cause. We've donated anywhere from $5-10 and the team mom usually puts the gifts together. As far as other coaches giving each other gifts, I can't say that I've seen that before, but I know in past years coaches have given gifts to the kids and collected money for a gift for team moms. If you have already donated $20 I wouldn't think you would need to do anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We've always given gifts to coaches at the end of the season. Sometimes as a group, sometimes individually. Regardless of how well the team did. The gift was for supporting our kids, through thick and thin, not just for winning. We give gifts to co-op teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth workers, etc. too, for their support of our kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Huh. That does seem a bit extreme. I do think it's nice to give some sort of token to teachers and coaches who do a good job with our kids (regardless of the outcome of a year or season). But I think that can be a simple note or a small gift card or... This particular group sounds like it's a bit over-the-top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 It's a way to show appreciation, and I personally think it should be done even if the season is not successful. The coaches put in a lot of hard work. When my dd was cheerleading, we had a shared end-of-season banquet with the football players. Everyone exchanged gifts. The football team gathered money for gifts for the cheerleaders, and the cheerleaders did the same for the players. The coaches got gifts for their kids. The kids got gifts for the coaches. And yes, the coaches got gifts for each other. I was the cheerleading team mom and I got a gift too, as a thank you from the team for the work I did. I've seen teachers and assistants do that. I was a student intern in a few different classes and the teachers gave me small gifts at the end of my term to thank me for all of my hard work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 My husband has coached community basketball for years, and the team always gives the coaches an end of year gift. It has never been tied to team performance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 I just want to say that I agree that a successful season doesn't matter when considering gifts. It probably didn't come off that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 well I'm feeling bad I never bought anything for the boy's coaches in the past! I don't think anyone did! Should I do something on top of my monetary contribution? Only one person addressed that. Do most people donate money and also give a small gift of their own? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) Should I do something on top of my monetary contribution? Only one person addressed that. Do most people donate money and also give a small gift of their own? Occasionally one or two of the players on my husband's team would give a little extra something, but typically it was a team gift only. I wouldn't personally go beyond the group contribution unless you want to. Edited June 15, 2011 by MelanieM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 well I'm feeling bad I never bought anything for the boy's coaches in the past! I don't think anyone did! Should I do something on top of my monetary contribution? Only one person addressed that. Do most people donate money and also give a small gift of their own? In my experience it's usually only 10-20% of families that will do something beyond the group gift -- though I'm sure there are various microcosms where the peer pressure increases that number. If you feel the coaches have done a particularly great job (of being available and encouraging, of giving their time and focus to the kids), then a note that says that is *great*. I don't think you need to feel *compelled* to give anything (whether that's a note or a $50 giftcard for dinner or anything in between) just because others are. ... I try to give a bigger gift for *volunteer* coaches / leaders. For instance, our Boy Scout troop leader and his wife put in *countless* hours each year just to make our troop run well. I try to be very generous there. For a paid coach, I'd be more inclined just to give a small token of my appreciation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 You've already pitched in for the group gift. I think that's enough. A lovely note from your children should be fine. :) And some flowers from your yard if you've got some. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 ... I try to give a bigger gift for *volunteer* coaches / leaders. For instance, our Boy Scout troop leader and his wife put in *countless* hours each year just to make our troop run well. I try to be very generous there. For a paid coach, I'd be more inclined just to give a small token of my appreciation. I think this makes a difference as well. My husband is a volunteer coach with no kids of his own on the team, so he's in it for the love of the game and the community kids, not because of any fee he receives or because he's there supporting his own children. And it typically costs him a fair bit of money with traveling to games, expenses for tournaments that require hotel stays, etc. He also purchases gifts for MVP and a couple other things that the kids get to vote on. So I think it's nice that the team recognizes his efforts and investment of time and resources. All that said, I don't think he would care at all if there was no end-of-year gift... he does it for the love of the game and the kids, not a token present. And I know a word of thanks or a note from a kid means more to him than a gift card any day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 No. Our swim coaches are professionals and paid well at that. The only time a gift is given is at Christmas. A donation is taken at that time and given as a group. Some people give a gift on their own instead. I doubt anyone does both. Some do neither. There is no list of contributions or contributors given with the group gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 My husband is a volunteer Little League coach, and he has been given all sorts of gifts at the end of a season. The parents are always thoughtful and sometimes extremely generous with gift cards, but the gifts that mean the most to him are those that involve the players in some way. Two such gifts that come to mind are a framed, matted 8x10 of the team with all the boys' signatures on the matte and a baseball cap with the boys' signatures all over. He really enjoys those items. Last year I asked each of the boys to write him a letter telling him what they learned that season. I scanned each letter and put them into a book along with photos of the kids. That one made him cry. Buckets. He LOVES that book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Last year I asked each of the boys to write him a letter telling him what they learned that season. I scanned each letter and put them into a book along with photos of the kids. That one made him cry. Buckets. He LOVES that book. Oh, what a lovely idea!! My husband is taking a year off from coaching this year (and maybe next, actually) but I'll have to remember this for when he go back to it. Very thoughtful and sweet. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Yes we do, usually $10-$15 per family contributed to the group gift, but nothing individual other than an email thanking them and letting them know how they impacted my son. Our coaches are always dads so I usually make a point of thanking the mom verbally as well and taking their child on an outing at last once during the season... When a dad coaches, the whole family makes sacrifices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 My kids are theatre geeks and not into sports. However, we do usually give or contribute to gifts for directors at the end of each season or show. For example, my son sings with a boychoir. The president of the parents' organization usually sends out a note before Christmas and then again at the end of the academic year letting people know they can contribute toward a gift for the choir director. We usually give between $5 and $10 each time. When they do a show, it's often the stage manager who handles the gift thing. Sometimes, they do flowers and/or framed cast photos. Sometimes, it's just a gift card to a favorite restaurant. Again, we usually kick in something in the $10 - 20 range. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I try to give a bigger gift for *volunteer* coaches / leaders. For instance, our Boy Scout troop leader and his wife put in *countless* hours each year just to make our troop run well. I try to be very generous there. For a paid coach, I'd be more inclined just to give a small token of my appreciation. I meant to agree with this, too. I'm always happy to contribute to gifts for the choir directors (who get paid much less than what they are worth) and community theatre directors. When we get hit up for gifts for directors in tuition-based theatre programs, I find myself giving less and often feeling a little resentful. If I'm paying them to work with my kid, I feel less inclined to give them a present just because they did what we paid them to do. (Sometimes, these folks are especially great or work with my kiddo in a way I specifically appreciate. That's different, of course.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 DD7 has played several seasons of soccer at the YMCA, where the coaches are all volunteer. We always gave a gift. I figure that they have to use up their time and energy to teach the kids, so the least I can do is give them a gift. We do the same with the kids Sunday School teacher, AWANA teacher, and homeschool group teachers. We've never dealt with a paid coach. I'd be less inclined to give a gift....maybe just a thank you card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Maybe I should start another thread but... what kind of gifts do you give if you do it individually? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Around here most do not give coaches gifts but we usually try to. When ds1 first started baseball we didn't give gifts. Fast forward to when ds2 started playing baseball. Ds2 had 2 wonderful coaches. They made a big deal of all the kids. Made the kids feel like they had won the world series when they won a game (didn't win many). And really worked with the kids. I wanted to give them something but didn't have a whole lot so I gave them each a $10 gift card to Sonic with a note from ds saying Thanks for being a great coach. I got ds1's coaches the same thing. All the coaches were really shocked. One year in Upward basketball instead of having the iron on stars they had pin on stars. This coaches gift was really for the coaches son. I cross stitched Upward 20?? across the top and the sons name on the bottom using the colors that year. I left the space in the middle for the stars to be pinned on. Then framed it in a shadow box type frame. When we gave it to each of the coaches I explained about how the stars could be pinned on there. The coaches seemed to really like that gift too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 Maybe I should start another thread but... what kind of gifts do you give if you do it individually? I would like to know this, too. I thought of a bottle of wine because the coach in her 40's loves wine, but I didn't know if the coach in her 60's did (I see her drink beer and know she loves mixed drinks) and the YOUNG newlywed coach..... I saw her have a beer the weekend we went away. So I didn't feel comfortable with that. Then I thought of Lindt chocolate truffles for everyone. I don't know if they like Lindt and was shocked to hear that some chocolate lovers don't! So then I was thinking of a nice plant for the garden, one in full bloom, perhaps with a pretty pot to go with it. I have NO idea if these ladies like plants or gardens, especially the very young coach - who happens to be the lead coach. I could buy boquets of flowers for each but don't like that idea. So I contributed $20 and didn't know if that was enough but some made comments on how much I gave, like it was too much. :001_huh: We're talking for three coaches, all paid, but it's through the YMCA so I'm not thinking they get paid much. They DO have to pay for travel expenses out of their own pocket. With one coach I don't feel bad because she has two girls who compete. I found it odd that the lead coach let everyone know she was presenting gifts to the other two coaches. I kind of felt pressure to do more? :confused: Maybe I just took it the wrong way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We nearly always give coaches a gift of some sort at the end of a season (not tied to success).... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.D. Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Ah, a subject near and dear to my heart. First, to the OP, I think your $20 contribution is fine. I have been coaching basketball for 20+ years, and in that time I have received a wide range of end of the year gifts. My wife and sons joke about the stash of restaurant gift cards I always seem to have that have been given to me by my teams and other teams in my organization (I am the director of a program with 800 or so players). As much as I always appreciate the gift cards, what I really treasure are the team pictures, signed basketballs, and other trinkets. Although my teams have won many trophies over the years, I only display the team pictures and other gifts from my players. I have also received personal notes from players that I will cherish forever. Thinking back, the best gift I have ever received from a team was a small photo album of game pictures taken during the course of the season. The father who took the photos even added little captions throughout the album which had me chuckling for hours. I took this spring off from coaching, and my co-coach did an amazing job with the boys in my absence. The team mom called me to ask for a gift suggestion for him, and I was finally able to share my views on gifts (my co-coach thinks the same as I do), so we settled on the parents making a donation to the V Foundation instead of buying him a gift card. When they presented the certificate for the donation to him at the team party, he said it was the best gift a team had ever given him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Ah, a subject near and dear to my heart. First, to the OP, I think your $20 contribution is fine. I have been coaching basketball for 20+ years, and in that time I have received a wide range of end of the year gifts. My wife and sons joke about the stash of restaurant gift cards I always seem to have that have been given to me by my teams and other teams in my organization (I am the director of a program with 800 or so players). As much as I always appreciate the gift cards, what I really treasure are the team pictures, signed basketballs, and other trinkets. Although my teams have won many trophies over the years, I only display the team pictures and other gifts from my players. I have also received personal notes from players that I will cherish forever. Thinking back, the best gift I have ever received from a team was a small photo album of game pictures taken during the course of the season. The father who took the photos even added little captions throughout the album which had me chuckling for hours. I took this spring off from coaching, and my co-coach did an amazing job with the boys in my absence. The team mom called me to ask for a gift suggestion for him, and I was finally able to share my views on gifts (my co-coach thinks the same as I do), so we settled on the parents making a donation to the V Foundation instead of buying him a gift card. When they presented the certificate for the donation to him at the team party, he said it was the best gift a team had ever given him. Thank you for your reply. My son had a fantastic first season in Little League (which just finished for us, we were minor league champs in our small town, and lost in the Tournament of Champions last night). His coaches were just outstanding and I want to do something, but I just don't know what and we're a little tight on funds right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.D. Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you for your reply. My son had a fantastic first season in Little League (which just finished for us, we were minor league champs in our small town, and lost in the Tournament of Champions last night). His coaches were just outstanding and I want to do something, but I just don't know what and we're a little tight on funds right now. A thank you card with a note from your son (and perhaps from you as well) would mean a lot. I just received one this week from one of my players who will be moving this summer, and it turned a crummy day into a nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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