Babysitting for a friend

[Just Robyn]

If a friend offered to pay you $10/hour to babysit for a couple of weeks while she was at work, would you take it? My general rule is no. I watch my friends's children because that's what friends are for. My friend was pretty insistent and I let it go figuring I'd just not take the money later. When I added up the money, I couldn't help but think, "Gee. That's enough to buy the microscope I want, and the case and slides."

 

I am not asking for permission to break my own rule and accept payment for a favor. I am asking for your honest answer. Would you accept money from a friend in exchange for watching her children?

Edited May 21, 2011 by crstarlette

[meggie]

For that long, yes I would. That would be highly disruptive and the money would make it worthwhile. Once every now and then, no I wouldn't need to be paid to do a friend a favor.

[LittleIzumi]

If she really insists, maybe you can use some of it to take her out for a girls' night afterwards?

[kimi-o]

For that long, yes I would. That would be highly disruptive and the money would make it worthwhile. Once every now and then, no I wouldn't need to be paid to do a friend a favor.

:iagree:

[Unicorn.]

Normally I am like you, and would do it for nothing, but for that long, I would take payment. I probably wouldn't except $10 hour though. I would do it for a daily rate vs. hourly.

[Crispa]

For that long, yes I would. That would be highly disruptive and the money would make it worthwhile. Once every now and then, no I wouldn't need to be paid to do a friend a favor.

 

Yes I would, for this reason. Similarly, I would expect to pay anybody who babysat my child under such circumstances, and I would feel bad if they tried to turn down the payment!

[Tap]

I am one of the few working moms in my close circle of friends. Most of my friends are at home moms, and several homeschool. Over the years, various friends have babysat for me in many capacities, from running to the market when the kids are playing together already....to needing care when I am at work. I have older and younger kids, so I was often at events that the other age group didn't want to go to. During these times the parents would sometimes volunteer to babysit, to their own child could have a play mate.

 

I have had several friends 'work' for me as a paid babysitter but also be the neighbor role, in the above situation of running to the market. Sometimes, it was hard to distinguish between the times when I paid vs. not. I was willing to pay for daycare more often that the provider wanted to be paid, so the situation is similar to yours in that regard.

 

The rule of thumb, that I finally came up with was this. If I am being paid for my time away from the child, so is the sitter. Basically, if I was at work, I figured my sitter should be paid.

 

There are a few differences to me when the parent is at work vs. just running to the market or out to dinner. If I am at work, I expect the child to be fed (even if I am providing the food), naps if necessary, and for the sitter to make all important decisions for my child. I expect them to be the pseudo parent. I will be gone for several hours or all day, and while I can be reached for questions, I don't expect to be interrupted unless it is a true emergency.

 

If I am at the grocery store, I expect a few phone calls of "is it ok if kid#1 goes into the swimming pool? Or "mom, can I go to the park with Alison?" I am reachable and I pretty much expect to still be the parent via phone (this is how it is in my circle of friends for all kids). The sitter is more of a supervisor, not so much as a pseudo parent.

 

The few times, that I paid for a sitter, outside of working, it was again in a situation where I didn't expect phone calls, ie I was hiking out of cell range and more that 30 minutes away from town. If there was an emergency, the sitter was definitely in the parent role.

 

We swapped sitting some, but for the most part I was needing sitter services, due to work, 10:1 or 20:1to other people and everyone who I paid, seemed happy with this arrangement.

 

I had one friend who still refused to be paid, so we finally agreed that we would take the money I would have paid the sitter and we would all go to lunch on it instead. She was very happy with that arrangement.

[m0mmaBuck]

Yes, I would take payment. If it were for one day, probably not, as I would hope she would watch my kids if I ever needed someone to watch mine.

 

But, since it's for several weeks, and she needs child care from someone, I would take payment. If I didn't watch her kids, she would need to hire someone else, and would be paying someone. It might as well be me, as long as I was able to do it.

:iagree:

[bbmom]

I agree with everyone else so far. If it was a one or two day thing while school or her normal sitter was closed then I wouldn't take money as it would be fun for my kids and no big deal, but once you start to get into a week or more it changes things. My only exception to this would be if it was a friend in dire financial straights. If you don't feel comfortable with accepting payment, maybe you could take the kids on an outing or do something similar, and then use the money she gives you to "reimburse" yourself for the outing-that way it works out more that she is paying for activities as opposed to paying you.

[SunD]

It would depend on how close the friend was. Right now, we aren't formally schooling and it wouldn't be a huge disruption, so if it were my SIL or my best friend and they needed me to be there for them, I wouldn't take any money. For someone whose children I don't normally watch, or during schooltime, I would definitely expect some sort of payment as it would take a lot of restructuring.

 

It wouldn't necessarily need to be cash in hand, though; I'd be open to something like "If you watch my DS & DD for two weeks, I'll pay for all our kids to attend summer music camp next month." or something like that.

[whitestavern]

Yes I would, for this reason. Similarly, I would expect to pay anybody who babysat my child under such circumstances, and I would feel bad if they tried to turn down the payment!

 

:iagree: If you turn it around, you would most likely want to pay them for the same service.

[MamaAkins]

For that long, yes I would. That would be highly disruptive and the money would make it worthwhile. Once every now and then, no I wouldn't need to be paid to do a friend a favor.

 

She is paying you because she's asking you to make a commitment to do it for a long period of time. It's more than just a casual "help a friend out for an afternoon" kind of commitment. I think it would be perfectly okay for you accept her offer. I did like someone's suggestion that you spend a bit of it for a nice girl's night out together when it's done!

[dangermom]

If I'm out earning money and I need a regular babysitter, then I think it's appropriate to pay. So yes, I'd take the money and consider it fair payment.

 

I currently pay one friend to watch my kids while I work for 3 hours on Mondays, and I have a trading babysitting arrangement with another friend. I like to keep things fair; if I didn't pay the one friend I'd feel I was taking advantage of her.

[Dawn in OH]

Yes, I would take payment. If it were for one day, probably not, as I would hope she would watch my kids if I ever needed someone to watch mine.

 

But, since it's for several weeks, and she needs child care from someone, I would take payment. If I didn't watch her kids, she would need to hire someone else, and would be paying someone. It might as well be me, as long as I was able to do it.

 

I feel the same way.

 

An evening out, no charge. One afternoon, no charge. A couple of weeks, sorry, that's a lot of time and I have other obligations. But if I'm getting paid, I can work it into my schedule, I can always use the extra money.

[abbeyej]

I agree that she needs a longer term commitment. Even by taking the money, you're still doing her a favor by providing a standard of care she might not be able to find (regardless of price) elsewhere.

 

You tried to turn her down and do it as a kindness. That was lovely of you. She has insisted. Now you accept gratefully. Maybe even let her know later, "You know what? We enjoyed having the kids and I would have done it for free, but having the money meant I was able to get that microscope I'd been eyeing. Just wanted you to know how special that was." ... Don't you think that will warm her heart and bless her too?

[mom4him]

My rule is I will watch for an occational day/night out. When someone is going to work I charge. They would need to pay anyone else and they can not make a living if they don't have good child care.

Just my rule.

[Pretty in Pink]

In that situation I would accept the money. I wouldn't accept money just for keeping them for a few hours one day while she ran to the dentist or to get her hair done, but regularly for a few weeks on end...yes, I'd take the money.

[trailofsparks]

In that situation I would accept the money. I wouldn't accept money just for keeping them for a few hours one day while she ran to the dentist or to get her hair done, but regularly for a few weeks on end...yes, I'd take the money.

 

 

:iagree:with Pretty in Pink and everyone else. Don't feel guilty - even in receiving pay't, you're still blessing your friend who trusts you to care for her children. It is a win-win situation. I hope you enjoy your new microscope set, too!

[catz]

If a friend offered to pay you $10/hour to babysit for a couple of weeks while she was at work, would you take it? My general rule is no. I watch my friends's children because that's what friends are for. My friend was pretty insistent and I let it go figuring I'd just not take the money later. When I added up the money, I couldn't help but think, "Gee. That's enough to buy the microscope I want, and the case and slides."

 

I am not asking for permission to break my own rule and accept payment for a favor. I am asking for your honest answer. Would you accept money from a friend in exchange for watching her children?

 

For a day or 2, no I wouldn't. For a couple of weeks - absolutely. That's a huge commitment to your time and schedule.

[ChristusG]

Yep, accept the money and don't feel bad. This isn't a date night for her and her hubby...she's not going to a doctor's appointment. This is a daily thing that's lasting for several weeks. Definitely worthy of payment.

[Cheryl in NM]

I haven't read all the posts yet.

 

There is a difference between a few weeks of daily care and the occasional care. I would take the money. When I first began homeschooling there were a few days a month that I needed care. I asked ds's best friend's mom to watch him and I paid her. I wouldn't have left him with her if she had refused payment.

 

Ds is now 14. Our neighbor and friend teaches upper level math for $50 a month. She has 2 young boys, 5 & 7. We trade. She teaches ds Algebra and I watch her boys 5 hours a week. We are both happy with the trade.

 

If you are really uncomfortable taking the money could you trade something?

Edited May 22, 2011 by Cheryl in NM

[Tarreymere]

I've done it, for the same reason you want to do it. It has never ended well. Usually I don't get paid or get paid only partially, or the mom doesn't bring diapers or other supplies, or drops the child(ren) off filthy and with full diapers. Or, I am told that her dc are 'covered' in flea bites (I have a dog who gets prescription flea meds) or not fed or are treated badly. Often the dc are total brats. I still get suckered in now and then, blinded by curriculum lust.

I would certainly take full payment, if it does end up offered. Heck, I charge my daughter, but she drops my two grandbabies off for four days at a time (too busy getting drunk after her bar shift to come pick up her kids).