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Do your children act the same when dh is not home?


Do your children act when dh is home and not home?  

  1. 1. Do your children act when dh is home and not home?

    • act better when ds is home
      15
    • act worse when dh is home
      20
    • act the same
      40
    • other
      4


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I was just wondering if my children are the only ones who act better when dh is home.

 

(please excuse all of my mess ups in the poll, ds should be dh title should read "how do". It has already been a long day and it is only 12:30)

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But they seem to want constant attention when he is. Obviously the need more daddy love than mommy love. Of course I do their school work with them everyday and daddy is only home two days a week. They don't understand that he has to fit in tons of other stuff on the weekends as well. Not enought daddy to go around. :)

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I had to post other.

 

Their behavior truly depends if Dad is not home for the work day, or not home because he's deployed.

 

But, if he's home on a "school day". . .well, I tend to nix the school day.

 

Generally, when he's home their energy is up. . .all boys and it's like the testosterone gets revving or something. . .

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I guess we all act a bit "freer" when dh is not around, because he is fairly protective and a bit of a disciplinarian. I tend to be the more funloving, free spirited adventurous parent, wheras he is the one who holds the anchor, and notices when lights are left on unnecessarily, or they are not doing their chores. He can be very strict. But he is also the present giver, the Santa Claus. He loves to buy presents and do things for us.

So all in all, I think we all - me included- are a bit different when dh is around. He is much more the strong "parent" where as I tend to prefer to be more on my kids' level unless I need to slip into a stronger parent role. They are more likely to come to me to talk, to share things. But he relaly makes us all feel safe and cared for.

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I said they act better, but actually, now that they are older, they act the same most of the time. They are usually very good. When they were younger, they were definitely better when dh was around. Now if dh goes out of town for a few days, everyone is very good to start with, but they all start to get crabby and get under each other's skin towards the end of his time away. They still need dad:)

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My kids act the same. Dh and I made sure to let them know that when he's gone they must behave etc. just like they would when he's home. Like some others on here we're military and there is no way I could have them suddenly not behave when he goes on deployment. Even when he's not deployed there are a lot of long days and then there are duty days where he must stay over night on the ship.

 

I think part of them being the same came from dh and I deciding that I would be the main disciplinarian and that he needed to back me up when he was around so that when he's not it's consistant for the kids. We had to set it up this way because saying "Just wait until your Dad gets home" doesn't have the same effect if Dad won't be "Home" for 3-6 months.:001_smile:

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I guess we all act a bit "freer" when dh is not around, because he is fairly protective and a bit of a disciplinarian. I tend to be the more funloving, free spirited adventurous parent, wheras he is the one who holds the anchor, and notices when lights are left on unnecessarily, or they are not doing their chores. He can be very strict. But he is also the present giver, the Santa Claus. He loves to buy presents and do things for us.

So all in all, I think we all - me included- are a bit different when dh is around. He is much more the strong "parent" where as I tend to prefer to be more on my kids' level unless I need to slip into a stronger parent role. They are more likely to come to me to talk, to share things. But he relaly makes us all feel safe and cared for.

 

This is very similar to how I would describe our family also. Dh is not a gift giver, but he does spend all his free time playing games with the kids, doing fun science experiments, reading, teaching, etc. He is a wonderful dad and they are crazy about him, but they definitely have more of a healthy fear (in a good way) when he is around than when he isn't.

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Discipline is probably about the same, and they aren't better or worse - just happy!

 

For me, I couldn't homeschool without being pretty firm about discipline, so I never felt I had the luxury of being a "wait until Dad gets home" kind of Mom. But DH is about the same as I am regarding behavior expectations, so I don't see a major difference.

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Mine are worse. They know that dad is a soft touch and plus is aggravated by listening to it all day long. When I get on them for a littlething that I have been dealing with all day(like squabbling or whining), he's like let them be kids, but then he doesn't have to hear it all day.

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