I don't know who told my daughter about strippers

[NanceXToo]

but she wanted to talk about them last night. Strippers and strip clubs and stripper poles. She's 10 1/2. She says she "doesn't remember" who told her about them, that it was "a long time ago." Not so sure I believe that. But I answered her questions as best I could and encouraged her to continue coming to me with them because who knows what misinformation she gets from the neighborhood kids.

 

This child, this girl, is only 10.

 

She sleeps with a row of Barbie dolls lined up on her bed, and a stuffed dog named Pudding who used to be mine.

 

And she asks me about strippers and strip clubs.

 

She still likes to play with toys in the bathtub and dig in the dirt and play tag and blow bubbles.

 

And she wants to know when she will be old enough to have a boyfriend.

 

She likes me to braid her hair, she still sits on my lap for a snuggle or hug, silly things make her cry, she is so affectionate with her family.

 

And she asks me when you "make out" with someone, how do you know what to do?

 

She sleeps with a nightlight and enjoys Nancy Drew and she wants to know if she can have a Facebook account and when do I think she will need a bra.

 

She's such an odd combination of child and pre-teen, innocence and curiosity, she's wonderful and nerve-wracking all at once, and I just want to know, where is the "Pause" button? It's going too fast! She was a baby just a minute ago, I swear she was.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Aren't you the poster who had trouble with talk about s*x in the neighborhood? Or am I getting you mixed up with someone else?

[NanceXToo]

Yep. There was one boy who told her last summer that Silly Bandz are made out of used condoms (and proceeded to tell her what condoms are and what they are used for). And there was a girl who told her this past fall something about a boy in that girl's school saying something about wanting to rape her, and my daughter asked me what that meant. Fun times!

[Mommy22alyns]

A glimpse into my future... *gulp* :001_huh:

[mo2]

I think you should congratulate yourself. You must be doing something right....Thank goodness she is comfortable enough to come to you with these questions!

[katilac]

And she asks me when you "make out" with someone, how do you know what to do?

 

"All the information you need comes to you in a magical dream. Don't make out with someone until you have this dream, because you won't know what to do and will look silly."

 

It could work!

[NanceXToo]

"All the information you need comes to you in a magical dream. Don't make out with someone until you have this dream, because you won't know what to do and will look silly."

 

It could work!

 

:lol:

 

I told her that when she is older and cares about someone they will just figure out what feels right to them as they go so to speak, that people like to kiss in different ways, and that she doesn't need to worry about it right now.

 

But I like your answer better.

[NanceXToo]

I just found this. I wrote it on Alexa's 3rd birthday:

---

 

Today is Alexa’s 3rd birthday. She will wake up knowing it’s her birthday- in that she will wake up remembering she is going to get presents today and that she’ll be having a party soon, with cake and balloons and more presents.

I tried to explain to her yesterday that three years ago she was born. But of course ‘years’ means nothing to her. Her best concepts of time are ‘two minutes’ as in ‘two more minutes and it’s time for bed!’ which, to her, is supposed to stretch out for hours, and ‘tomorrow’ as in ‘when you wake up in the morning’. The rest is beyond her. Anything that happened in the past, whether it was a day ago or a week ago, is “esterday” to her.

She didn’t grasp the concept of ‘born’ either. She thinks “borm” is a place she’s going to go when she “gets three”, like the dentist. All she really wants for her birthday are Ernie and “Burp” balloons and a cake- so we can all sing “Hoppa Birthday” to her.

 

I love her baby talk. I dutifully correct her (YES-ter-day. BurTTTTTT. Ha-PEE birthday.) But I feel a strange mix of pride and...sadness when she finally gets it right. A baby without baby talk just isn’t...well...a baby.

Of course I know she needs me, despite all her “I do it!”s. Of course I know I’m still the center of her world, thanks to all her “Pick me up”s and “You’re my best friend, Mommy!”s. She’s so darn short, of course I know she’s still little. But she’s sleeping in a bed now, she’s nearly potty-trained, she puts on her own shoes, and she’s informing me “I don’t need to sit in a high chair. I’m a big girl.” She knows what a tattoo is. She knows what a cigarette is. She pronounces both of those words perfectly. Right along with “cat sh!t” and “dammit.” Oops.

She’s not little enough. I’m no more ready for her to turn three than I was for myself to turn thirty.

 

I know how fast it goes. My other daughter, Melissa, will turn 12 in three months. She’s in “Middle School,” whatever that is. (I went from Elementary School to Junior High). She needs deodorant. She’s got her first bra. When I first noticed the hard little lump on one side of her chest, I got scared and called the doctor. I thought something was wrong with her. But, no, it’s only boobs, Mrs. G.

 

She told me she wishes she was a teenager and when I said “Why? What would you do if you were a teenager?” she responded “Go on dates.” I know any day now I’ll be buying Tampax for two.

And then three.

 

But how did this all happen...? Where did these babies go...and where did they even come from? Wasn’t it just "esterday" I was eagerly awaiting my own rollerskating and slumber parties?

 

 

----

 

 

And now... Alexa is 10 and Melissa is 19 and I've got a 5 year old son I never even dreamed of back then, and the three year old from this little ramble wants to know about strippers and making out. Siiiiiiigh.

[KristinaBreece]

I just found this. I wrote it on Alexa's 3rd birthday:

---

 

Today is Alexa’s 3rd birthday. She will wake up knowing it’s her birthday- in that she will wake up remembering she is going to get presents today and that she’ll be having a party soon, with cake and balloons and more presents.

I tried to explain to her yesterday that three years ago she was born. But of course ‘years’ means nothing to her. Her best concepts of time are ‘two minutes’ as in ‘two more minutes and it’s time for bed!’ which, to her, is supposed to stretch out for hours, and ‘tomorrow’ as in ‘when you wake up in the morning’. The rest is beyond her. Anything that happened in the past, whether it was a day ago or a week ago, is “esterday†to her.

She didn’t grasp the concept of ‘born’ either. She thinks “borm†is a place she’s going to go when she “gets threeâ€, like the dentist. All she really wants for her birthday are Ernie and “Burp†balloons and a cake- so we can all sing “Hoppa Birthday†to her.

 

I love her baby talk. I dutifully correct her (YES-ter-day. BurTTTTTT. Ha-PEE birthday.) But I feel a strange mix of pride and...sadness when she finally gets it right. A baby without baby talk just isn’t...well...a baby.

Of course I know she needs me, despite all her “I do it!â€s. Of course I know I’m still the center of her world, thanks to all her “Pick me upâ€s and “You’re my best friend, Mommy!â€s. She’s so darn short, of course I know she’s still little. But she’s sleeping in a bed now, she’s nearly potty-trained, she puts on her own shoes, and she’s informing me “I don’t need to sit in a high chair. I’m a big girl.†She knows what a tattoo is. She knows what a cigarette is. She pronounces both of those words perfectly. Right along with “cat sh!t†and “dammit.†Oops.

She’s not little enough. I’m no more ready for her to turn three than I was for myself to turn thirty.

 

I know how fast it goes. My other daughter, Melissa, will turn 12 in three months. She’s in “Middle School,†whatever that is. (I went from Elementary School to Junior High). She needs deodorant. She’s got her first bra. When I first noticed the hard little lump on one side of her chest, I got scared and called the doctor. I thought something was wrong with her. But, no, it’s only boobs, Mrs. G.

 

She told me she wishes she was a teenager and when I said “Why? What would you do if you were a teenager?†she responded “Go on dates.†I know any day now I’ll be buying Tampax for two.

And then three.

 

But how did this all happen...? Where did these babies go...and where did they even come from? Wasn’t it just "esterday" I was eagerly awaiting my own rollerskating and slumber parties?

 

 

----

 

 

And now... Alexa is 10 and Melissa is 19 and I've got a 5 year old son I never even dreamed of back then, and the three year old from this little ramble wants to know about strippers and making out. Siiiiiiigh.

 

 

Oh Momma! I'm approaching that 3rd birthday mark with my DD (ok, we're 6 months out) and I can't imagine being ready for what comes after!

[kchara]

:grouphug: I'm right there with ya. :( :grouphug:

[WishboneDawn]

I'm laughing here. Yesterday in his Dancing Bears reader Harry came across Groin the goat. When I started laughing he had me explain what groin was. No biggie. But later in the car he wanted to know what those "two things" he could feel under his penis were. I'm sure we've discussed it before but we had a good talk about testicles in the car while my daughter tried very hard to hide behind her seat belt. :D

[BigMamaBird]

I was about 10 when the neighbor girl told me about prostitutes. Talk about freaking me out!

[KarenNC]

My sympathies---I have a 10 1/2 yo (who *is* wearing a bra and "likes" a boy in the homeschool group :001_huh:). If you find "pause," let me know, because she is my only and it's way too fast! It's an odd mix wiht one foot in childhood and one stretching as far as possible to teen. She has also asked about when she could date (this was a couple of months ago). IIRC, her dad said something like 25, to which I added "hundred.":001_smile:

 

She loves manga, but we are choosy about which ones she can read. Recently, at the used bookstore, she brought over one marked "Teen" for me to check out (some are okay by our standards, many are "not yet"). This was a "not yet," so she took the next one to her dad (hoping for a different answer;)). He told her to go back to me while he looked at it. She came to me, stuck her hands on her hips, and said, "You know, I AM 10 years old. I NEED to be exposed to this stuff." When I asked exactly what she wanted exposure to, she replied, "Whatever it is that you won't let me see!"

[Paula in PA]

I've got an 11 year-old like that. She's been wearing bras for 2 years now and having her monthly for almost a year. She strongly dislikes (ok, ok, hates) all of it. She still thinks boys are gross (and mostly idiots) and while she understands the basic idea of s*x, she thinks it's completely disgusting.

 

But she also is really getting into fashion and hairstyles and jewelry. I no longer have to fight her as much about taking a shower regularly. She would like a teenish magazine ("But maybe one without all the boyfriend stuff, Mom"). We've had these amazing conversations that really show how mature she is now.

 

So I totally get the still-a-kid-but-almost-a-teen, young and mature all-wrapped-up-in-one daughter.

[Truscifi]

:grouphug::grouphug: Nance, I have a boy, but I could use that pause button too.

[Margo out of lurking]

But how did this all happen...? Where did these babies go...and where did they even come from?

 

I don't know. All you did was blink. :crying:

 

I keep thinking that I have just two more years with dd before she goes off to college. I don't like this at ALL!!!

[KarenNC]

But she also is really getting into fashion and hairstyles and jewelry. I no longer have to fight her as much about taking a shower regularly. She would like a teenish magazine ("But maybe one without all the boyfriend stuff, Mom"). We've had these amazing conversations that really show how mature she is now.

 

 

 

Take a look at Kiki magazine. My daughter loves it. http://www.kikimag.com/

[FrogMom5]

My dd is only 4. I don't want to think about how fast she will grow up. My oldest has 3 yrs. of hs left and then he'll be off to college. One by one they will grow up and leave. It's good but it's sad too. I'm always delighted by their new thoughts/accomplishments/antics but sad to tuck the old ones away in my memory.

 

Hugs to you NanceXToo.

 

Denise

[forevergrace]

Really, unless you live in a little town, with nothing but one market and perhaps a strip-mall, you are unfortunately gonna hear about the nasty thing called "strippers." Along w/ "pot" and "drinking" or "drunk-mom, dad." This is life, we have to explain the right and wrong. We set the example!! My dd is eleven-years-old and asked about Santa, and in the same breath explained that her friend's mother was partners with another woman. Floored was I, but, I must remember what year we live. Do the right job, and let go.