aggieamy Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I need some frank advice and DH suggested I come here. I am a big proponent of homeschooling and if we had full custody of my step-daughter we would be doing that. As of now we're afterschoolers. First, the background information. My younger sister has two kids, Cameran (7 yo) and Connor (18 mos). She might have another one on the way also. She's a SAHM and has been accepted to a nursing school but is right now getting her pre-reqs out of the way at the local CC. She and her fiance have been together for years and he works at construction and roofing. They don't have a lot of money but they seem to get by. There support network is pretty non-existent. They've got my husband and I but we live about 30 minutes away and her fiance's mother but she's not reliable for help. My sister also gets VERY stressed out about things. Last year during finals I thought she was going to have nervous breakdown over her accounting final which she ended up getting an A on. Sometimes her fiance will have to be out of town on jobs for up to six weeks also and that also stresses her out a lot. Now the current situation: My niece, Cameran is very bright, creative, and stubborn. She is struggling in school. This week they had timed drills on addition facts and Cam would only do about ten of the facts and that was it. My sister couldn't understand why she wasn't doing better because she's known her addition facts inside and out since early this year. They'd practice at home and she'd get them all right. My sister talked to the teacher and she says that Cam is just very social and doesn't really seem to want to spend much time doing school. My sister doesn't really know what to do because Cam is smart but just not doing the work. She's contemplating bringing her home and homeschooling this next year. Looking at her background and the current situation would you recommend homeschooling? My sister brought it up and is really interested but is worried she wouldn't do a good job. She's done a bit of research already and knows that there's PE classes for homeschoolers up at the local rec center. I spend a lot of time on here and would help her get started with curriculum choices for the fall based on what I've liked using for afterschooling and during the summers. My sister did do Hooked on Phonics with Cameran the summer before she started school and now she's a great reader so my sister does have some experience working with Cameran already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatMomof3 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I am sure someone on this board could answer better than I. So popping for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brasilmom Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The little girl sounds just like my dd. I have not been homeschooling for long at all, however I think this is a decision one has to make full heartedly. It is not easy, we all know, and it is a lot of work. It takes commitment, and in the process we loose a bit of ourselves (at least I did). Perhaps the best you can do to help her is educate her in the aspects of it all, give her guidance if asked or needed, show her channels of support and be painfully honest with her. I say this because I see other families try to "convert" people into homeschooling because they think is great. While it is great for me and our family, it is not for everyone. I see a mother in particular falling apart because she wants to be in corporate world, resents that her education is "going to waste", that she is not earning any money, etc... This only creates a negative environment in my opinion. Give her the tools and let her decide if she wants to build that house. Just my 2cents. Be well Miriam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Are you going to help her a lot? Then yes. If not.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) My sister knows that I'm a big supporter of homeschooling but it's not something that I've pushed on her so I'm kind of excited she's even researching it. She has to write a term paper for one of her classes and she picked homeschooling as her topic and that's really gotten her interested in it as an option. Remudamom - I plan on helping her tons and would probably even supply curriculum. I've been afterschooling for about two years now so I do have some experience in reseaching curriculum and doing planning. Edited March 31, 2011 by aggieamy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I need some frank advice and DH suggested I come here. I am a big proponent of homeschooling and if we had full custody of my step-daughter we would be doing that. As of now we're afterschoolers. First, the background information. My younger sister has two kids, Cameran (7 yo) and Connor (18 mos). She might have another one on the way also. She's a SAHM and has been accepted to a nursing school but is right now getting her pre-reqs out of the way at the local CC. She and her fiance have been together for years and he works at construction and roofing. They don't have a lot of money but they seem to get by. There support network is pretty non-existent. They've got my husband and I but we live about 30 minutes away and her fiance's mother but she's not reliable for help. My sister also gets VERY stressed out about things. Last year during finals I thought she was going to have nervous breakdown over her accounting final which she ended up getting an A on. Sometimes her fiance will have to be out of town on jobs for up to six weeks also and that also stresses her out a lot. Now the current situation: My niece, Cameran is very bright, creative, and stubborn. She is struggling in school. This week they had timed drills on addition facts and Cam would only do about ten of the facts and that was it. My sister couldn't understand why she wasn't doing better because she's known her addition facts inside and out since early this year. They'd practice at home and she'd get them all right. My sister talked to the teacher and she says that Cam is just very social and doesn't really seem to want to spend much time doing school. My sister doesn't really know what to do because Cam is smart but just not doing the work. She's contemplating bringing her home and homeschooling this next year. Looking at her background and the current situation would you recommend homeschooling? My sister brought it up and is really interested but is worried she wouldn't do a good job. She's done a bit of research already and knows that there's PE classes for homeschoolers up at the local rec center. I spend a lot of time on here and would help her get started with curriculum choices for the fall based on what I've liked using for afterschooling and during the summers. My sister did do Hooked on Phonics with Cameran the summer before she started school and now she's a great reader so my sister does have some experience working with Cameran already. She sounds like a fantastic mom who is already very involved in her dd's education. I don't understand why you are asking the question? It wouldn't even occur to me. We don't all have great support systems and stress? well, it happens. I didn't see anything in the OP that made me think she shouldn't homeschool. She should go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 She sounds like a fantastic mom who is already very involved in her dd's education. I don't understand why you are asking the question? It wouldn't even occur to me. We don't all have great support systems and stress? well, it happens. I didn't see anything in the OP that made me think she shouldn't homeschool. She should go for it. I'm really wanting to get an outside opinion because I'm so for homeschooling as an option that I wouldn't want my gung-ho attitude to give her bad advice for her situation. When she started talking to me about it my first thought was to start ordering the Singapore workbooks she'll need to get started in the fall. Yep. Gung-ho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 She sounds like a fantastic mom who is already very involved in her dd's education. I don't understand why you are asking the question? It wouldn't even occur to me. We don't all have great support systems and stress? well, it happens. I didn't see anything in the OP that made me think she shouldn't homeschool. She should go for it. :iagree: As a former schoolteacher, I would have loved a parent like this. She wants her dd to get help with addition facts. It is very normal for students in primary grades to struggle with math facts. I used Touch Math for those students who could not do the regular recitation or memorization. Or froze during a drill in class. Again, very normal. Mom just needs to realize her dd may need more time and help? She tutored her dd in reading. Way to go! I don't see the reason for concern as anyone who teaches or homeschools has a "quirk" (said with log in my own eye... lol ;)) with temperment and personality. To me, that is not an issue. If she homeschools, great. If not, that is fine too. But be there for the SIL regardless in a patient and non-judgmental way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Forgot to add - Cam sounds like a social butterfly! ;) Those types of personalities were hilarious in the classroom for me! Ah, memories... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 No red flags for me. The mother is educated, involved and loving. She has an anxiety problem, possibly but that hasn't kept her from being a good mom and doesn't have to keep her from being a good homeschooling mom. If she gets too stressed, she could just come here and we'd offer her a Mikes and some chocolate! The dd sounds like a bright girl who might be developing some test anxiety. Nothing that many of us haven't dealt with. It won't keep her from being able to learn in homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 :iagree: As a former schoolteacher, I would have loved a parent like this. She wants her dd to get help with addition facts. It is very normal for students in primary grades to struggle with math facts. I used Touch Math for those students who could not do the regular recitation or memorization. Or froze during a drill in class. Again, very normal. Mom just needs to realize her dd may need more time and help? She tutored her dd in reading. Way to go! I don't see the reason for concern as anyone who teaches or homeschools has a "quirk" (said with log in my own eye... lol ;)) with temperment and personality. To me, that is not an issue. If she homeschools, great. If not, that is fine too. But be there for the SIL regardless in a patient and non-judgmental way. From what my sister and the teacher say it isn't that she froze or didn't know them. She just chose not to do the math facts. Cam knows all her addition and subtraction facts and some of her times tables and earlier in the year she aced all the tests. Why they are still working on them in the classroom it is something that is confusing my sister. LOL. Yeah. Cam is one of the funniest kids I've ever known. Some of the things she says are unbelievable. Once she talked to my DH about helping her make a catapult. He agreed until she started talking about needing a helmet. :lol: She wanted a catapult large enough to launch herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I don't know, there would several things I would consider. My dh is a carpenter, been working out of town, and I'm with ds all the time. This is fine, he's older, but at 7, they aren't as independent. What does she do for child care while in school? When would she plan on homeschooling? After school? Once she has a nursing degree she will have plenty of options for scheduling that would work better with homeschooling. Money being tight wouldn't be an issue, there are plenty of cost effective options. I would be concerned about her stress level, schooling, homeschooling, being without her fiance, and how that would affect homeschooling. I think summer would be a good test run, maybe try to get her tied into some playdates and playgroups with other homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 From what my sister and the teacher say it isn't that she froze or didn't know them. She just chose not to do the math facts. Cam knows all her addition and subtraction facts and some of her times tables and earlier in the year she aced all the tests. Why they are still working on them in the classroom it is something that is confusing my sister. LOL. Yeah. Cam is one of the funniest kids I've ever known. Some of the things she says are unbelievable. Once she talked to my DH about helping her make a catapult. He agreed until she started talking about needing a helmet. :lol: She wanted a catapult large enough to launch herself. Heheheee... I had a gut feeling Cam was a character! :lol: It sounds par for the course at that grade level to review the math facts. And public school teachers usually teach to the middle -- thus, the gifted like Cam or Learning Disabled get ignored. Plus, standardized testing is around the corner. Raise those test scores... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I think summer would be a good test run, maybe try to get her tied into some playdates and playgroups with other homeschoolers. Good point. :iagree: Like a trial run? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Ooh. I like the summer test run idea. DH suggested something similar to that also. I think I'll talk to her about doing this for the summer to get an idea of how comfortable she'd feel doing "school" with Cam: Singapore math 1B HWOT - the cursive book A stack of books to read aloud (they already do this) Find some local hs friends Lots of crafts and art (Cam loves crafts and art!) Edited March 31, 2011 by aggieamy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 We did the summer test run. I would say no because she'll be in nursing school and there's anxiety issues. However, I also have anxiety issues and it doesn't seem to affect our homeschooling at all. We get a LOT accomplished. So, the nursing school is the tough one, but her kids are little. I would say, "Try it." As far as the support system...I've never had one and my husband works 7 days a week. It's doable, but it really can burn you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I'd also suggest a talk with Cameran to make sure she's completely on board with this. Your sister shouldn't have to deal with a non-cooperative child. If Cam is very enthusiastic and willing to be taught by her mom, then yes. If she's going to be stubborn, then no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 There are so many different 'looks' or situations for homeschooling families. *I* couldn't imagine working and homeschooling, until I did it, working afternoon shift and hsing during the day. Honestly, I think the desire to do what's best for your child, wholeheartedly committed to that is the basis for being able to homeschool, or even just parent successfully. (And no, I'm not saying homeschool = successful parenting :lol:) Summer as a trial run may work, or Cam may fight it tooth and nail b/c she's used to having the summer 'off'. I know Diva was personally affronted when I announced we'd be continuing a light routine during the summer! :lol: I think I'd take the position of, "I know you're a loving parent, and will find whatever works best for Cam." and support the heck out of her any which way it goes. I wish her and her family all the best. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Y'know, removing ps from the equation can result in a dramatic drop in stress. I was AMAZED by how relaxed everyone in our house became once we stopped having to get up at the crack of dawn and start the ps race every day. This sounds like a good thing. Her daughter could very easily be bored. Ds was and refusing to do work was part of his answer. He didn't understand why he had to do the same thing for the umpteenth time when he already knew how to do it. :grouphug: It sounds, imo, like it would be good for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 There was a thread about whether or not homeschooling is a calling....I didnt think it was but the language i want to use in response to the OP is....if the sister feels called to do it- feels strongly to do it I guess- then she will simply move heaven and earth to make it happen. I personally wouldn't encourage anyone, even a relative, to homeschool based on the support *I* could give them. They have to catch on fire with it themselves- its too big a life choice to make without that passion- even if it doesn't come at first. You have to be willing to go against mainstream, to just do what you feel is the right and best thing. I have encouraged 2 separate family members to homeschool and they did, but they were already interested- I just encouraged it and pointed them in the right direction- they took it on themselves after that. I also found that many people dont have the ...intellectual rigour and discipline to homeschool. Its a big job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 IMHO, if the oldest is just 7, it should be a snap. It's not like she has to start with a college-track class in geo-biochemical-thermonuclear physics/w lab! Read, play games, mess with basic math, do puzzles, have bug hunts, go to the zoo and the museum...she ought to be able to handle that, I'd think. We homeschooled back when I traveled 5 days/week for work, with 3 little ones including infant. And a farm. And no family within 500 miles. And located in a new state with no friends. We lived. (Not saying it was easy, but well worth it). :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I don't see any reason why she couldn't homeschool. I think that being concerned that you won't do a good job is a positive - it usually motivates us to try harder. Most good, and honest, public school teachers feel the same way. I think if you listed the circumstances for any one of us, you'd find reasons why homeschooling would be good, and reasons why it would be challenging. Hopefully she's up for the challenge as it sounds like her daughter would benefit. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.