TXMomof4 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 We were planning a vacation with my in-laws earlier this year. Well, plans changed and that particular vacation isn't going to be possible - so we changed plans. They didn't like the plans and came up with a solution. Disneyworld. They are giving us some money to help cover the cost. Not my idea and if it were up to me, I wouldn't accept it. But dh wants to go and is comfortable taking the money. So, off we go on a vacation I would never in a hundred years choose, spending twice as much money as we originally planned (even with their money), AND trying to deal with super OCD, planner MIL. We're going in the fall. My kids are taking state assessments right now for our VA. I have to finish school with my kids. We're moving this summer. I have to figure out what curriculum we'll be using next year because the VA where we're going isn't an option. I have a list of 10,000 things to get through before I start planning every second of one week, six months from now. I have now officially talked to MIL more in the last 48 hours than I have in the last 12 months. Tell me it will be worth it in the end. Right? :chillpill::chillpill: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 This is where y'all are supposed to chime in and agree that MIL is being unreasonable, I'm a saint for taking a vacation with in-laws in the first place, of course I'm not being completely unreasonable, etc, etc, etc. Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 What a wonderful gift from your MIL !:glare: I think you should send dh with the kids...you have SO MUCH TO DO to get moved and settled in. Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Well.... I didn't think I'd like Disney World but went to make dh and the boys happy. It's now my favorite vacation spot. We're lucky that my parents let us exchange one of their timeshares every year so that helps with the cost. BUT I wouldn't want to go there with my in-laws. My family would be fine but not his (that's a whole 'nother long story). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 :grouphug: MIL is being unreasonable, you aren't overreacting, you'll have a wonderful time, everything will work out fine.;) Fall is a great time to go to Disney, and an obsessive planner is a perfect match for a Disney trip.:D Seriously, with 4 kids it will go smoother if you have all of your meal reservations made months in advance, anyway. Well, I guess some people like to wing it, but with my SPD 4 and 15 year-old's, and one still in diapers, that would be a nightmare for me.:eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Disney World is such a big place and there are so many options available to you. I would recommend trying to get away alone with your husband a few nights, since you will have your in-laws there to babysit. There are some really excellent restaurants, and it sounds like you'll be needing some time to decompress. I understand how rough it can be to be forced into an experience you don't really want by your in-laws, I really do. But if you have to go along for the ride, might as well try to enjoy it, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Obsessively planning for Disney will make the trip so much easier! You won't be able to get into restaurants if you don't plan. The good news is that you plan six months ahead of time and then forget about until the week before. It will be a great vacation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 You know what? Let her plan it. It sounds like something you're too busy to do and have no real interest in. Tell her there is no need for her to keep checking in with you -- you trust her and you're so busy with all the school planning right now that she would be doing you a huge favor by taking care of all the details, if she doesn't mind. That way you don't have to talk to her every 2 seconds. Maybe you can suggest that she talk to the kids about the trip plans. They will probably match her enthusiasm, and hopefully she'll include the things they say they want to do. Make sure you mention that you're really looking forward to taking a day or two just to relax by the pool while she and your DH take the kids to the parks :D I have one of those MILs. Sometimes it is just easier to let them take charge of something like this. You will expend so much energy fighting her on things plus you'll build up so much resentment that it's less draining to let her have at it and step back from the situation. Make sure you have time to yourself and your own space, and seriously -- take a couple days by the pool. We went this fall and it was fun, but NOT a relaxing vacation. We wish we had built more down-time into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Let her plan it. Give her a list of 3 or 4 things you really want to happen then let it go. When the time comes pretend you are on a guided tour and just give up control to her plan. It may not be ideal, but you won't be banging your head over it anymore and can get on with what you need to do. Then, get a written contract from dh that says in 2012 you get to pick the vacation and he is forbidden from mentioning date or destination to his mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 What a wonderful gift from your MIL !:glare: I think you should send dh with the kids...you have SO MUCH TO DO to get moved and settled in. Jennifer :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Nope. "That doesn't work for us". I'm in love with the person upthread who suggested sending your DH with the children. I want a vacation, not a sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Ask her to plan as much as possible. I've stopped asking my MIL to watch the kids as much, simply because everything becomes such a big production. Me calling a friend for babysitting, "Hey! Can you do me a favor and watch the kids this Wednesday from 3-5?" Friend, "Sure!" or "Ooo. Sorry, we're busy that day." Hang up. Me calling my MIL for babysitting, "Hey! Can you do me a favor and watch the kids this Wednesday from 3-5?" MIL: "Oh. Um...I'm not near my calendar. Um. Ok. Let me go to where the calendar is. Hmmmm.. We have a bunch of things to do on Wednesday...." Me: "That's ok. I'll call around." MIL: "No no. I'll see if I can rearrange...no wait, I have to ask dh about what he's doing. Yes, I can probably watch them. But can you drop them off at 3:10? Oh wait! Will they be hungry? Will I have to feed them? Maybe you can bring them a happy meal and I'll feed it to them? Or, I can try to order a pizza. Will they eat pizza....." and on and on and on..... And then when I drop them off or pick them up, we have to spend at LEAST 15 minutes at each end to chat and I don't even know what. And yes, I'm going to the beach with my in-laws this year. It'll be for 4 days, 3 nights. Sigh. Every decision takes 20 minutes to decide. And then once we decide on something, "Let's eat at Pizza Hut," MIL will say IN THE CAR ON THE WAY to Pizza Hut, "Well, maybe we should go to that little diner instead?" I feel your pain. Try to get her to plan amap, but if she's like my MIL, she LIKES to hem and haw and call and talk about it forever and ever and ever and NEVER make a decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Me calling my MIL for babysitting, "Hey! Can you do me a favor and watch the kids this Wednesday from 3-5?"MIL: "Oh. Um...I'm not near my calendar. Um. Ok. Let me go to where the calendar is. Hmmmm.. We have a bunch of things to do on Wednesday...." Me: "That's ok. I'll call around." MIL: "No no. I'll see if I can rearrange...no wait, I have to ask dh about what he's doing. Yes, I can probably watch them. But can you drop them off at 3:10? Oh wait! Will they be hungry? Will I have to feed them? Maybe you can bring them a happy meal and I'll feed it to them? Or, I can try to order a pizza. Will they eat pizza....." I think I've had this conversation with my MIL. Like, 10,000 times in the last 4 years.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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