I want to move

[Aubrey]

1. I can't stand this house: it's too dark.

 

2. The plumbing in the kitchen is awful: the dw keeps getting backed up & the water won't drain, leaks on the floor. But the last time they came out to fix it, they said it was due to "debris in the disposal." There was a little, but...not... well, I don't know. We're really careful w/ the disposal, barely use it, & we're careful w/ the dw, barely use it. So maybe it's our fault, I don't know, but I'm beyond mortified (like almost in tears this AM & feel like throwing up) that they're calling it tenant abuse. The guy was really nice about it & isn't charging us; I told him we'd get a net to cover the disposal. The "debris" isn't even from using it; it's just the tiny bit of stuff that happens to fall in.

 

3. We can't afford the house anyway.

 

4. My mom has been refinishing her basement so we could live w/ her if dh got a job in CO. His co. has an office there, though, so even w/out a *better* job, we could go now. (Financially, there's really NO CHOICE. We need to go last month.)

 

5. Here's the stupid part: I've been thinking we needed to move for months--since before Christmas. This month has been such a fiasco that dh finally agrees. But I've done *nothing* to pack, plan, etc. And for some reason? I find myself at a loss as I look around. Like I just can't remember how to do it.

 

6. Part of the problem from #5 is that I'm planning to sell as much as possible, so the move is cheaper (& so we can pay for the move, lol). I've been saving boxes since right after the move, when I began to realize we'd never stay here long. So the garage is piled up w/ garage sale stuff & empty boxes & things that are already/still packed. It needs to be organized somehow, which will mean getting all the garage sale stuff out of bags & sorting & pricing, & I just...am overwhelmed at trying to get it all done in an orderly fashion (so I don't have to redo it later). Plus...I wish I knew it would be worth it. I usually just take stuff to the Goodwill.

 

So...thoughts? My mom just called & is planning a very sudden 4-day trip here, & somehow that seems like it should be figured into everything. If she were driving, I'd be SO tempted to just go home w/ her. (But then I'd have to have everything packed/sold by Friday!) :confused:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

:grouphug: I can so relate to moving related paralysis.

 

Do you have anyone you can call on to help you out? Friends from church or school or your old neighborhood?

 

Call in whatever favors you can. Tell them you are desperate and need their help really badly.

 

Don't try to label everything. Just go with big categories for clothes and books, unless the item is really worth a lot more. (IE, a really nice suit might be more, but general kids' clothes could be $1 or $0.50 each piece.)

 

:grouphug:

[Merry]

what kind of stuff do you have for the garage sale? Maybe we can help you figure out if the stuff would make the garage sale worth it. If it's mostly clothes and books, it might not be worth the hassle.

[Aubrey]

Don't try to label everything. Just go with big categories for clothes and books, unless the item is really worth a lot more. (IE, a really nice suit might be more, but general kids' clothes could be $1 or $0.50 each piece.)

 

:grouphug:

 

Yeah, I was going to sort clothes by size only, make a sign saying 50c/ea (even if it's nice), or $5/ for a brown bag full.

 

Books--you think I'm going to sell those? :lol: (Actually, I was thinking $1/ea, no matter what.) And the bookcases...I figure I should sell those, too. But, see, I don't want to sell those until I'm more sure we're going, etc. But I figure I can post them on CL at the last minute. They're quite new & all matching, so if I can find anyone who actually wants THIS MANY, lol, they should be thrilled to get them. :lol:

[AuntieM]

Yup, me, too. Only it's not really an option unless dh comes aboard the idea. It's not a good feeling.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: I will suggest you DON"T get a storage unit and move, planning to return and get stuff. We did that and we've been here since November and most of our stuff is 900 miles away. We'll finally get there this month, what a pain.

 

I'm sorry. I hope your mom is able to help.

 

Remember transition times are chaotic. Can you think in categories? Household stuff, school stuff, clothes, books, kitchen, linens. Or does it help to focus on one room at a time?

[Aubrey]

what kind of stuff do you have for the garage sale? Maybe we can help you figure out if the stuff would make the garage sale worth it. If it's mostly clothes and books, it might not be worth the hassle.

 

Clothes

Books

Sofas (one's not worth anything, but I figure I'll put $5, just because "FREE" seems to freak people out)

Bookshelves (new, matching, but might have to wait until after a sale)

Toys

Crib, baby stuff

Car (not running, at another location, so do I get to include it?) :lol:

Queen Bed & Frame, in awful condition

Twin Bed (w/ desk & drawers, dh would have to fix one of the drawers first, in good enough condition for a garage sale. Normally $200-300 used, so still worth something.)

Baker's Rack (only if we're moving)

 

So far this list sounds silly, but I had good stuff in it that has since been removed. :glare:

 

I can't think what else is out there, but I was thinking that if I photographed it as I sorted, I could list it on Craig's List the week before the sale & maybe sell some/all before the date.

[Aubrey]

:grouphug::grouphug: I will suggest you DON"T get a storage unit and move, planning to return and get stuff. We did that and we've been here since November and most of our stuff is 900 miles away. We'll finally get there this month, what a pain.

 

I'm sorry. I hope your mom is able to help.

 

Remember transition times are chaotic. Can you think in categories? Household stuff, school stuff, clothes, books, kitchen, linens. Or does it help to focus on one room at a time?

 

We couldn't afford a storage unit! :lol:

 

We can't be chaotic--too much to think about. I'm trying to start that hs pub next month! :lol::lol: AND I realized this week that to make that date work, I'll have to be writing crazy fast not just for the next month, but for the next four YEARS. :svengo:

 

1. I guess I'll focus on clearing the bookshelves first. I've realized recently that we can live w/out some of our books. :svengo:

 

2. Maybe I should clean out the play room, & make it be storage for things that are packed.

 

3. Then maybe I should pack the living room, so it can be a staging area for photographing/sorting garage sale items.

 

4. Then maybe garage sale items would be better sorted/less stressful if they were in boxes instead of giant garbage bags.

[KristinaBreece]

We couldn't afford a storage unit! :lol:

 

We can't be chaotic--too much to think about. I'm trying to start that hs pub next month! :lol::lol: AND I realized this week that to make that date work, I'll have to be writing crazy fast not just for the next month, but for the next four YEARS. :svengo:

 

1. I guess I'll focus on clearing the bookshelves first. I've realized recently that we can live w/out some of our books. :svengo:

 

2. Maybe I should clean out the play room, & make it be storage for things that are packed.

 

3. Then maybe I should pack the living room, so it can be a staging area for photographing/sorting garage sale items.

 

4. Then maybe garage sale items would be better sorted/less stressful if they were in boxes instead of giant garbage bags.

 

I find that boxes are less stressful to me than garbage bags. Boxes can be stacked & orderly. Garbage bags always look like garbage bags. :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

I find that boxes are less stressful to me than garbage bags. Boxes can be stacked & orderly. Garbage bags always look like garbage bags. :grouphug:

 

I'd never noticed that, but I think you're right. It's one thing if it's going to the GW; another if I'm keeping it in the garage doorway (where my fam takes it & leaves the walkway blocked, lol).

 

But they're GREAT for quickly gathering up stuff before the kids can see what you're getting rid of! :D

[Rosy]

Honestly? Unless you have *huge* quantities of any of those, it doesn't sound like anything on your list will bring in a significant amount of $$ except the twin bed and maybe some of the baby stuff. On the other hand, if you donate it to Goodwill, you can claim the deduction on your next tax return...it doesn't give you the $$ right away, but 15% of whatever you determine it to be worth retail is probably more than you'll get garage saling it.

[Tap]

I think there is one thing that you seriously need to consider....

 

How much rent are you paying per month now....vs where you are going? Is the time have delayed the move costing you more, that you would gain by moving now? Lets say your rent is $800 per month and your have $600 in expenses. If you are moving to your moms where you will pay $500, you need to profit $900 in sales to justify each month you stay.

 

What is the least amount of time you need to give your landlord and employer. Factor in all additional expenses of living where you are....rent, insurance, electricity/water/sewer.... Lets say you could make $500 on Craigslist/garage sales. Which number makes more sense?

 

One of the easiest moves we made was when we packed up everything we wanted to keep, moved it and then had a garage sale with what was left. At the end of the sale, we donated every last little bit. NOTHING was allowed to be reclaimed.

 

Not knowing your exact situation, but going by what you have said this is what I would do.

 

Call/send it in writing that you are giving a 30 day notice at house. Have dh do the same at his job. Plan for April 1st (unless you need to wait 30 more days because it is past the 1st on you house for a 30 day notice).

 

When you mother gets here, send her home with a load of boxes of items you know you want to keep, but don't need. It is much easier to pack what you want :) and it will get your groove going. It will also be nice to have some items out of the way.

 

Post large items on Craigslist. Call the ARC or another 'pick it up at your house' agency to come pick up the clothes. Schedule another pickup for 3 weeks from now. If you have a deadline of someone coming to get items, it is easier to have something ready for them. Each week, drop the price of the Craigslist items 25%. If they are not sold by week 3, donate them. The ARC here will take clothes and household furniture/items, so you won't even have to move them from your house.

 

This gives you 3 weeks to get things moving. Divide your house into 3 sections, and assign yourself packing duties for each week. Leave out only the necessary clothes/dishes for you and the kids. Remember that it is warm where you are, but in CO it will still be cool for a couple of months. Clearly mark any warmer clothes as you pack, because you will need them ASAP when you move. Write yourself a schedule of what you want to accomplish, leaving yourself free one day a week for rest.

 

 

Then pick up your hiney...and get out of there. :auto:

[Aubrey]

Honestly? Unless you have *huge* quantities of any of those, it doesn't sound like anything on your list will bring in a significant amount of $$ except the twin bed and maybe some of the baby stuff. On the other hand, if you donate it to Goodwill, you can claim the deduction on your next tax return...it doesn't give you the $$ right away, but 15% of whatever you determine it to be worth retail is probably more than you'll get garage saling it.

 

We've never made enough $ for a tax deduction to be worth anything.

[Aubrey]

I think there is one thing that you seriously need to consider....

 

How much rent are you paying per month now....vs where you are going? Is the time have delayed the move costing you more, that you would gain by moving now? Lets say your rent is $800 per month and your have $600 in expenses. If you are moving to your moms where you will pay $500, you need to profit $900 in sales to justify each month you stay. I don't understand. The garage sale is just to help defray the cost of the move. Well...or to pay bills here if we stay.

 

What is the least amount of time you need to give your landlord and employer. Factor in all additional expenses of living where you are....rent, insurance, electricity/water/sewer.... Lets say you could make $500 on Craigslist/garage sales. Which number makes more sense? Landlord: 30 days, assuming he/we find someone to rent the house. We would not leave if this were not taken care of, but we live in a great part of town, & the rent is *dirt* cheap.

 

Employer: dh is an independent contractor, so there is no real notice required. He'd give plenty, but he'd just be working out of a different area, & that would be fine w/ them. They're based in a different state anyway.

 

Still don't understand how the sales figures relate to living expenses.

 

One of the easiest moves we made was when we packed up everything we wanted to keep, moved it and then had a garage sale with what was left. At the end of the sale, we donated every last little bit. NOTHING was allowed to be reclaimed. This is what we're planning.

 

Not knowing your exact situation, but going by what you have said this is what I would do.

 

Call/send it in writing that you are giving a 30 day notice at house. Have dh do the same at his job. Plan for April 1st (unless you need to wait 30 more days because it is past the 1st on you house for a 30 day notice). I'm hesitant to do this, since we're not ready/sure. The house will have to be shown once we send this notice in, & it's a mess. (It was a mess when we decided to rent it, so maybe that doesn't matter a *ton,* but...yuck, lol.

 

When you mother gets here, send her home with a load of boxes of items you know you want to keep, but don't need. It is much easier to pack what you want :) and it will get your groove going. It will also be nice to have some items out of the way. I would, but she's flying in.

 

Post large items on Craigslist. Call the ARC or another 'pick it up at your house' agency to come pick up the clothes. Schedule another pickup for 3 weeks from now. If you have a deadline of someone coming to get items, it is easier to have something ready for them. Each week, drop the price of the Craigslist items 25%. If they are not sold by week 3, donate them. The ARC here will take clothes and household furniture/items, so you won't even have to move them from your house. This is a good idea. I'm especially impressed w/ the deadlines built in. (But they scare me, lol!)

 

This gives you 3 weeks to get things moving. Divide your house into 3 sections, and assign yourself packing duties for each week. Leave out only the necessary clothes/dishes for you and the kids. Remember that it is warm where you are, but in CO it will still be cool for a couple of months. Clearly mark any warmer clothes as you pack, because you will need them ASAP when you move. Write yourself a schedule of what you want to accomplish, leaving yourself free one day a week for rest.

 

 

Then pick up your hiney...and get out of there. :auto:

 

I don't like this at all! :lol: But I think it's a plan I need to hear.

 

I guess I'm afraid to set deadlines in stone, because that means we're really moving/have to move, &...I don't know...I guess I want a back door to change plans. Ultimately, that must be the thing that's really slowing me down.

 

Dh was applying for a really good job in CO, & Mom was SO EXCITED, she immediately hired guys to refinish her basement. When dh didn't get the job, she was crushed. Then she offered to move to the basement & give us the upstairs--just so we'd move. She's lonely. :( But I feel lucky to have someone want me that badly!

[gingersmom]

Dh was applying for a really good job in CO, & Mom was SO EXCITED, she immediately hired guys to refinish her basement. When dh didn't get the job, she was crushed. Then she offered to move to the basement & give us the upstairs--just so we'd move. She's lonely. :( But I feel lucky to have someone want me that badly!

 

I say take advantage of having your mom their for several days and get packing.

 

You are super lucky that your mom wants you to move in with her. I could have landed at a homeless shelter and I think my mother would still not invite me to move in with her.

[LittleIzumi]

:grouphug::grouphug: Have you checked the pipe between the DW & the disposal? Ours got clogged from the debris & it caused the exact same issues. Dh & a friend turned off the water & pulled the pipe section out to clean it.

[Lara in Colo]

I think you should get 'er done so we can go have a coffee (or a real drink) when you get here!!!!

 

Hurry

 

Lara

[Aubrey]

I think you should get 'er done so we can go have a coffee (or a real drink) when you get here!!!!

 

Hurry

 

Lara

 

:D

[MtnTeaching]

I think you should get 'er done so we can go have a coffee (or a real drink) when you get here!!!!

 

Hurry

 

Lara

 

:iagree:We'll have a party when you get to CO!

 

To me, it sounds as if you almost have two separate issues to deal with. First - the stuff. I felt like you did a few years ago. What do I do with the stuff?? It was paralyzing. I wanted to have a yard sale to both make money and to also feel like I wasn't just "giving up" and giving it away. What if I could have really gotten some money out of it?

 

Finally, I turned the TV to the Style channel and watched about 5 back-to-back episodes of "Clean House". I was so motivated, I dove into our barn/garage. I took nice pictures of the items I wanted to go onto Craig's list and delegated dh to put them online, filled 3 (yes 3) trailers full of junk to go to the dump, gave piles of stuff to friends (like kids snow boots, hs items, toys, etc.), loaded our truck with clothes for Goodwill (I couldn't bring myself to sort them all out for sale - I just kept the good "Easter Dress" type items to sell.

 

We made over $1000 from Craig's list items! We can get our truck into the barn/garage now and I have a managable amount of decent quality items boxed up for a yard sale as soon as it gets warmer here in CO. People may laugh - but it took watching the "Clean House" show to get me past my paralysis.

 

Good luck on the move decision! My dh and I flew here on a whim one weekend to visit his uncle. We bought our house that weekend, then looked at each other and said, "What do we do about a job? How do we get our other house ready to sell? How do we say "Goodbye" to all of our friends?"

 

That was 10 years ago and I can truthfully say it was the BEST decision we have ever made (other than getting married to each other). We have never looked back.

 

Good luck!!

[missiemick]

Ooh, I need a twin bed . . . how much?

[Aubrey]

:iagree:We'll have a party when you get to CO!

 

To me, it sounds as if you almost have two separate issues to deal with. First - the stuff. I felt like you did a few years ago. What do I do with the stuff?? It was paralyzing. I wanted to have a yard sale to both make money and to also feel like I wasn't just "giving up" and giving it away. What if I could have really gotten some money out of it? We really need the $, even if it's only $50, so I figure we need to have the sale.

 

Finally, I turned the TV to the Style channel and watched about 5 back-to-back episodes of "Clean House". I was so motivated, I dove into our barn/garage. I took nice pictures of the items I wanted to go onto Craig's list and delegated dh to put them online, filled 3 (yes 3) trailers full of junk to go to the dump, gave piles of stuff to friends (like kids snow boots, hs items, toys, etc.), loaded our truck with clothes for Goodwill (I couldn't bring myself to sort them all out for sale - I just kept the good "Easter Dress" type items to sell.

 

We made over $1000 from Craig's list items! We can get our truck into the barn/garage now and I have a managable amount of decent quality items boxed up for a yard sale as soon as it gets warmer here in CO. People may laugh - but it took watching the "Clean House" show to get me past my paralysis.

 

Good luck on the move decision! My dh and I flew here on a whim one weekend to visit his uncle. We bought our house that weekend, then looked at each other and said, "What do we do about a job? How do we get our other house ready to sell? How do we say "Goodbye" to all of our friends?"

 

That was 10 years ago and I can truthfully say it was the BEST decision we have ever made (other than getting married to each other). We have never looked back.

 

Good luck!!

 

Oh my gosh, you sound like my mom--that's about how she moved there. Ten years ago!

[Aubrey]

You guys inspired me. The playroom is empty except for bookshelves (& the closet) & vacuumed. I can start pilling packed boxes in there. I've cleaned expendable books off of 3 bookcases in the living room.

 

The kids have actually managed to finish school for the day plus some (ds is trying to work ahead in math) AND help w/ the cleaning. Littles are about to nap, so we can clean out the garage. (We did this a month ago, so it's not a big deal.)

 

I've packed & 2 boxes.

 

Maybe if I'm ready by the time Mom gets here, she'll just take me home w/ her, & dh can deal w/ renting the house out. :D

 

Actually, bil is getting married next mo, & the littles are in the wedding, so I figure we'll wait until after that to go--cheaper than trying to come back for it.

 

Thanks for listening! :grouphug:

[lmkzbcb]

Just a couple of more ideas.

 

My mom used an estate sale guy to sell her stuff. We just had to box it up and deliver it to the location he was having the sale. She had a couch that was 20+ years old, a couple of cheap bookshelves from Kmart, lots of knick knacks, some kitchen items, dishes, books, cds, movies, 2 oak coffee tables with light stains. It ended up fillng a 5x8 trailer. He did the advertising, worked the sale, and then split it with her 50/50, and ended up with a little over $1,000.

He told her that a lot of times he doesnt have enough to fill a house even though it is an estate sale and it helps him out to have the stuff. Plus he knew what people would be willing to pay for the stuff, and he had regular clients.

You could try that or

Another option is calling "professional garage sellers". I dont know how big the city is where you live, but our city had people who spilt the proceeds with you 60/40, they paid the advertising, set up the sale, and worked it. You just left for the day. You could try that, but their comission was higher.

With the economy the way it is, you could probably find someone willing to do this. You could ask around places you trust, like play groups, local hs groups etc.

HTH, I loathe moving; so I am feeling your pain!

[Tap]

Sorry, I wasn't clear. What I was trying to say was....if you stay in your current situation longer, solely to try to sell items, you could cost yourself more in housing expenses, than just moving ASAP and getting out of there.

[Heather in Neverland]

FWIW...

 

When we moved here we sold only big furniture that could garner us some money (like a couch for $300 and a dining set for $500) and books...but I sold LOTS of books... like 700 books. And I made a ton of money on the books.

 

But everything else I gave away to family/friends or donated. The time/effort/stress involved in putting together a garage sale just is never worth the small amoount of money.

[Aubrey]

Sorry, I wasn't clear. What I was trying to say was....if you stay in your current situation longer, solely to try to sell items, you could cost yourself more in housing expenses, than just moving ASAP and getting out of there.

 

Oh, I see. I didn't mean we'd decide how long to stay based on selling stuff. I just wanted to sell/pack to *get ready* for whenever we do go.

 

And Heather, we've never owned furniture worth more than $100. :lol: But I'm out of laundry detergent, & won't be able to buy any for a couple of weeks. I think a little smidge of $ would be a wonderful thing, esp if it can be done mostly on Craig's List. :001_smile:

 

Now dh & I are arguing about whether to sell the wedding china. Of all things for *him* to be sentimental about: http://www.replacements.com/webquote/NIKSUG.htm. These are the GIRLIEST dishes EVER. :lol:

[elegantlion]

 

Now dh & I are arguing about whether to sell the wedding china. Of all things for *him* to be sentimental about: http://www.replacements.com/webquote/NIKSUG.htm. These are the GIRLIEST dishes EVER. :lol:

 

We still have the flatware my dh bought with his OLD girlfriend 22 years ago. :lol: It was expensive, it's black and gold. I think we tried to sell it once, but it would cost more to replace it than what we could sell it for.

 

How is your dh doing in all this? Okay? I can see the wedding china being hard to let go. He made a promise to care and love you through sickness and health, richer or poorer (or something similar I assume) and now he's having to let go of something good from that day.

 

It's so easy for a man to see it as failure even to think about moving in with parents. Um, we've done it, twice. This last time was only temporary while we got our house together, but it plays with your psyche. Even when it is the best option.

 

Honestly, if it makes a difference to his emotional health I'd hang onto the china.

[mymonkeybug]

I will add my few cents for what it may be worth.

 

My advice is to SLOW down and breath. Having been in a very similar situation with hating the house, etc...but I am sure different circumstances leading to it. The best advice I got was to slow down and breath. Really think about a move hard.

 

You do have the benefit of dh being able to transfer anywhere and have that guaranteed job which many don't.

 

So keeping that in mind, check into the cost of living and whether you truly-you and dh-truly want to live in mom's basement. What utilites will cost, groceries, car insurance, etc...in a new area. Think about weather also. If you would be going from one climate to a totally different one then that is something to consider.

 

I wanted to abandon our home in Maryland and move to Vermont. We own our home but I didn't care anymore with all that had happened. We are still here in our home in MD three years later and while I have a pang of desire to scoot every now and then, it is less now that I have made the conscious effort to make the best out of what I have as opposed to running away from it.

 

Problems follow you wherever you go so keep that in mind. You can't run away from what the real root of the problem is.

 

Without knowing all the details, and they aren't my business, don't take offense to anything I said.

 

Keep your chin up girl!!!!!!

 

P.S. and make sure you can let it go, the stuff that is. I sold it ALL except for beds and really wish some of those books and games and knick knacks never went. Heck, I really miss all my kitchen gadgets and have slowly been replacing them but for more than I sold mine for. UGH!

 

Heather

[Aubrey]

Honestly, if it makes a difference to his emotional health I'd hang onto the china.

 

I was mad at first, but in the end, this is what I told him.

[QuirkyKapers]

The time/effort/stress involved in putting together a garage sale just is never worth the small amoount of money.

 

:iagree: This is my only thought about garage sales, a lot of work for not a lot of money. People are cheap. I would put the books for sale on CL with pickup only. You can do that on ebay too. I know a friend of mine who just paid 50 for misc homeschool stuff that was on CL.

 

:grouphug:All that said, do what stresses you out the least and keeps you motivated. Quicker is always better because I tend to lose focus and steam.......

 

 

I would keep the China. You can always sell it later but you can't get it back once it is gone.

Edited March 3, 2011 by QuirkyKapers
I vote for keeping China :)