if you have a mentally ill kid diagnosed as a teen.....

[Denisemomof4]

how did you get that diagnosis? Was it through a neuropsyche test? We were told that the test can be manipulated and the person taking it can lie. We don't want to waste our money but we do need a diagnosis. From what I remember, talking to my brother and my parents is how my brother got his diagnosis decades ago. Is it different now?

 

What would an alternative option be to neuropsyche testing?

[BMW]

I'm not sure if our story helps, but my 11 yr old is an obsessive liar and looks for all opportunities (pretty much, anyway) to disobey. He tries just about everything he can think of to not have to do what he is told... at school and at home. The school just pressed us to get a diagnosis, believing that he has a mental illness.

 

Right now he is seeing a child psychologist who met and discussed with dh and I everything related to him. He will also interview the grandmother. Each time I catch him lying, I let the psych. know so that he gets a strong feel for who my son is.

 

The psych. is also going to consider sending him to specialist in a large city a couple hours away to check out some of the neurological suspicions...

 

Blessings to you!!:grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

neurological, as in neuropsyche testing? How can they expect defiant kids to be honest on a test like that? Really?

[Lisa in Jax]

Denise,

 

Our dd who no longer lives with us was diagnosed by a counselor we'd sent her to for trauma counseling.

 

Any psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor (and others - social workers, etc.) can diagnose mental illness.

 

An MMPI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Multiphasic_Personality_Inventory), filled out by the person being evaluated, can help with diagnosis. It asks the same kinds of questions many different ways, so it's hard to beat the test or fake something. There are other similar tests. Call a local counselor to ask what s/he suggests.

 

HIH,

 

Lisa

[simka2]

The are multiple tests that would need to be administered by a psychologist. The test result would then be calculated and interpretted in light of findings from appointments and parental feedback. A diagnoses should never be a matter of test alone or appointment alone. Both should be done.

 

Then you can take those results to a psychiatrist to discuss medication options. A ggod psychiatrist will insist on both medication and counseling (from a qualified therapist.)

 

:grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

 

Then you can take those results to a psychiatrist to discuss medication options. A ggod psychiatrist will insist on both medication and counseling (from a qualified therapist.)

 

:grouphug:

 

I was listening to a talk radio show this evening and people were calling in with issues and asking for advice. I got the tail end of one of the callers and the person giving advice said, "Your dh can't be helped by counseling. You can't talk or counsel a mental illness away."

 

My brother and sister both have been in counseling/therapy for decades. It has not helped them one bit. I don't think that is a good solution, but I do think CBT can help.

[SonshineLearner]

:grouphug: Gotta be rough!! Praying for you and your husband for "Couple-Strength" and for your kids...

:grouphug::grouphug:

[simka2]

I was listening to a talk radio show this evening and people were calling in with issues and asking for advice. I got the tail end of one of the callers and the person giving advice said, "Your dh can't be helped by counseling. You can't talk or counsel a mental illness away."

 

My brother and sister both have been in counseling/therapy for decades. It has not helped them one bit. I don't think that is a good solution, but I do think CBT can help.

 

The only counseling I am comfortable with is CBT, that is what I meant my "qualified" sorry I was not more specific.

 

In truth, I will only consider therapy/counseling from a Dr. of Psychology...but I am very particular about this.

[myfunnybunch]

You can't talk or counsel a mental illness away."

 

True. You can't.

 

But don't discount counseling altogether. Good counseling by a qualified professional can, in conjunction with proper medication if necessary, help a willing patient come up with coping strategies to deal with the illness and can provide a non-family voice for a patient's guidance.

 

And :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

If this young person has been seen by a general physician in the past couple years, call that doctor to find out the best way to pursue a diagnosis and what resources are available in your area.

 

Cat

[Tap]

(as you already know) she has been in therapy for 2 years doing OT and BT. We added a psychiatrist specifically to start moving towards a diagnosis and ultimately medication. Through my accounts of her issues and her other therapists reports. He has been able to witness some of her issues (like asking me the same question 20 times in one hour long session) but for the most part, it is just my accounts.

 

Both her OT and BT value my recanting of her issues as much as what they witness. It was 1.5 years before her OT finally saw one of her behaviors. If she waited that long to witness one before starting treatment...it would have been worthless.

 

NOW, I do realize that this is dealing with a 4yo and not a teen, but I would expect that your retelling of the situations, along with a family history, may be enough to get you started.

 

 

It can take a bit to get appointments, so you may want to start a journal now. It can be hard to remember your points when meeting with the Dr. It also gives you some points to consider and monitor if the person ends up on medication. And a way to keep everything straight from visit to visit.

 

 

ETA: I won't stop her therapy with her OT or BT because they are still teaching her how to deal with her issues. The more she can deal, the less medication she needs. At her age, part of her behaviors are learned. She will throw a tantrum still, because that is what she used to do before medication. She still tries....it just doesn't have the impact when it is all faked.

Edited February 7, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap

[Jann in TX]

Our middle dd was/is very defiant (to me especially and somewhat to dh). She has been this way since puberty when she did a complete 180--major personality change in a matter of weeks!

 

We basically kicked her out of our homeschool (she was beating me up daily) and she was a MODEL student at school-- but turned nasty the moment she got into the house.

 

She ended up in jail one weekend for pulling a knife on me and dh (she had us blocked in a room and her older sister called 911 because dd was NOT rational--we had just asked her to turn down the volume on the piano (electric) and it set her off!

 

When we took her in for an evaluation by the only pediatric psychiatrist within an hour's drive he DXed her as being bi-polar (in less than 15 minutes WHILE he was eating a salad!!!) he gave us a pile of scripts and rushed us out of his office-- dd had been very polite and 'normal' during the meeting too...

 

Anywhooo we did NOT believe his DX was correct... so we looked into medical causes that mirrored bi-polar... turned out that dd's thyroid had stopped working and her adrenals were weak... $5 per month and dd was 'almost' normal again... she had a hard time staying 'stable' because her body was still growing and the med level had to be watched carefully.

 

Counseling did NOT help dd..

 

Counseling DID help dh and I cope with dd and gave us parenting strategies--because our family and friends all told us to just kick our 12 yr old dd out of the house!

 

6 years later dd's adrenals have now totally crashed (adrenal failure)... her thyroid is stable though (she finally stopped growing)... we are now scheduling more appointments with specialists to see if we can find the root of her adrenal failure-- she is taking 30 pills every day just to maintain mediocrity! Her GPA is still a 4.0 (for her dual enrollment classes) but she will NOT do any 'homeschool' work for me... we had to pull her out of PS due to high levels of anxiety when she is not stable...

 

So while our dd does not have a mental illness per say, she does have an illness that alters her mental state...

 

Move slowly through the DX process...make sure you are comfortable with the answers the Drs give you to your questions.

 

*My dd's Dr is an MD and also a naturopath who has experience with chemical imbalances-- he also has a great success rate with using natural supplements to reduce the amount of prescription meds patients with mental illnesses such as bi-polar take.

[Denisemomof4]

(as you already know) she has been in therapy for 2 years doing OT and BT. We added a psychiatrist specifically to start moving towards a diagnosis and ultimately medication. Through my accounts of her issues and her other therapists reports. He has been able to witness some of her issues (like asking me the same question 20 times in one hour long session) but for the most part, it is just my accounts.

 

Both her OT and BT value my recanting of her issues as much as what they witness. It was 1.5 years before her OT finally saw one of her behaviors. If she waited that long to witness one before starting treatment...it would have been worthless.

 

NOW, I do realize that this is dealing with a 4yo and not a teen, but I would expect that your retelling of the situations, along with a family history, may be enough to get you started.

 

 

It can take a bit to get appointments, so you may want to start a journal now. It can be hard to remember your points when meeting with the Dr. It also gives you some points to consider and monitor if the person ends up on medication. And a way to keep everything straight from visit to visit.

 

 

ETA: I won't stop her therapy with her OT or BT because they are still teaching her how to deal with her issues. The more she can deal, the less medication she needs. At her age, part of her behaviors are learned. She will throw a tantrum still, because that is what she used to do before medication. She still tries....it just doesn't have the impact when it is all faked.

 

this child DOES need help dealing with his behaviors. I have already started a list of symptoms. I'm going to call the local NAMI to see if they can recommend a good psychiatrist to at least get medications started, hopefully, and then figure out what to do from there.

 

You know what? Life is just SO hard. I feel like I never get a break. Just when things were starting to go real well, the bottom of my world fell off.

[Denisemomof4]

Our middle dd was/is very defiant (to me especially and somewhat to dh). She has been this way since puberty when she did a complete 180--major personality change in a matter of weeks!

 

We basically kicked her out of our homeschool (she was beating me up daily) and she was a MODEL student at school-- but turned nasty the moment she got into the house.

 

She ended up in jail one weekend for pulling a knife on me and dh (she had us blocked in a room and her older sister called 911 because dd was NOT rational--we had just asked her to turn down the volume on the piano (electric) and it set her off!

 

When we took her in for an evaluation by the only pediatric psychiatrist within an hour's drive he DXed her as being bi-polar (in less than 15 minutes WHILE he was eating a salad!!!) he gave us a pile of scripts and rushed us out of his office-- dd had been very polite and 'normal' during the meeting too...

 

Anywhooo we did NOT believe his DX was correct... so we looked into medical causes that mirrored bi-polar... turned out that dd's thyroid had stopped working and her adrenals were weak... $5 per month and dd was 'almost' normal again... she had a hard time staying 'stable' because her body was still growing and the med level had to be watched carefully.

 

Counseling did NOT help dd..

 

Counseling DID help dh and I cope with dd and gave us parenting strategies--because our family and friends all told us to just kick our 12 yr old dd out of the house!

 

6 years later dd's adrenals have now totally crashed (adrenal failure)... her thyroid is stable though (she finally stopped growing)... we are now scheduling more appointments with specialists to see if we can find the root of her adrenal failure-- she is taking 30 pills every day just to maintain mediocrity! Her GPA is still a 4.0 (for her dual enrollment classes) but she will NOT do any 'homeschool' work for me... we had to pull her out of PS due to high levels of anxiety when she is not stable...

 

So while our dd does not have a mental illness per say, she does have an illness that alters her mental state...

 

Move slowly through the DX process...make sure you are comfortable with the answers the Drs give you to your questions.

 

*My dd's Dr is an MD and also a naturopath who has experience with chemical imbalances-- he also has a great success rate with using natural supplements to reduce the amount of prescription meds patients with mental illnesses such as bi-polar take.

 

wow! I'm so sorry you and your dd are going through so much!

 

I have to say, I'm certain we're dealing with mental illness. My aunt was a paranoid schizophrenic, my sister is bipolar, my brother ps. I've been concerned for some time and now I'm certain.

 

I do not believe counseling will help at all, and this kid HATES to talk about anything deep or meaningful. He DOES, however, need help to learn how to handle himself/his behaviors better.

[simka2]

Again, I can't overstate this (and I am sorry if it seems rude) any psychiatrist who would prescribe a "black box label" medication for adolescent, without that child being in therapy.....is not a good psychiatrist.

 

Adolescents in particular need to be under the guidance of both a Psychologist and a psychiatrist....if not a neuropsych as well. Their hormones are just too out of whack.

 

I'm so sorry you guys are going thru this :grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

Again, I can't overstate this (and I am sorry if it seems rude) any psychiatrist who would prescribe a "black box label" medication for adolescent, without that child being in therapy.....is not a good psychiatrist.

 

Adolescents in particular need to be under the guidance of both a Psychologist and a psychiatrist....if not a neuropsych as well. Their hormones are just too out of whack.

 

I'm so sorry you guys are going thru this :grouphug:

 

in my experience, finding GOOD help will be next to impossible. I'm already tired an frustrated and I haven't even really begun yet.

[Tap]

You know what? Life is just SO hard. I feel like I never get a break. Just when things were starting to go real well, the bottom of my world fell off.

 

It is hard. It is especially hard when you care so much. I don't know about you, but seeing dds bio-mom go through life unmedicated and having many of the same issues, is a terrifying glimpse into her future. I don't know your family history, but usually a person with a MI doesn't go unnoticed in a family. I am not going to predict that dd4 won't ever go off of meds, but if she does it will not be a positive experience for anyone. She has missed her meds for a couple of days since August and her issues came raging back in full force.

 

I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you strength and peace in your decisions.

[Denisemomof4]

It is hard. It is especially hard when you care so much. I don't know about you, but seeing dds bio-mom go through life unmedicated and having many of the same issues, is a terrifying glimpse into her future. I don't know your family history, but usually a person with a MI doesn't go unnoticed in a family. I am not going to predict that dd4 won't ever go off of meds, but if she does it will not be a positive experience for anyone. She has missed her meds for a couple of days since August and her issues came raging back in full force.

 

I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you strength and peace in your decisions.

 

we are seeing things more clearly now.

 

I'm sorry for your dd. I'm sorry for you!

 

Can we go on a vacation together? For a year?:tongue_smilie:

[simka2]

in my experience, finding GOOD help will be next to impossible. I'm already tired an frustrated and I haven't even really begun yet.

 

 

I'm so sorry. The meds can be very dangerous for adolescents, that's the only reason I bring it up. I know you love your kids and only want the best.

 

Maybe a stay at a psychiatric hospital for awhile. Then you guys will have access to many resources.

 

Again, :grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

I'm so sorry. The meds can be very dangerous for adolescents, that's the only reason I bring it up. I know you love your kids and only want the best.

 

Maybe a stay at a psychiatric hospital for awhile. Then you guys will have access to many resources.

 

Again, :grouphug:

 

it's not at a level where a stay in a hospital is necessary, but I hope it doesn't get there.

 

I was also very concerned about starting meds for my child, but I finally saw that not having them could be worse. Still, they didn't help and he had side affects.

 

I tried to get help for my brother and sister for years. I never had luck in NH or in MA. Even Boston.

[Laurie4b]

From what I remember, talking to my brother and my parents is how my brother got his diagnosis decades ago. Is it different now?

 

 

 

That is still the way most diagnosis is done now--it's done based on symptoms reported by the parent, the patient, and the therapist's own evaluations of what s/he sees in interacting with the patient. Some testing may be done, but I don't know that there is a lot of it that can be gamed. Presumably, a gamer's family would know and report that.

 

With ODD kids, there are often other neurological things going on such as ADHD, mood disorders, etc. If they can successfully treat the underlying neurological stuff, the ODD often dissipates. Additionally, teaching alternate coping skills to handling stress will often help a kid with ODD.

Edited February 7, 2011 by Laurie4b

[SonshineLearner]

Hey There,

 

Just wanted to send some more hugs your way!! I vote that you get a year's vacation... but since I'm not rich... and can't care for all your animals :) I can't do that for you!! Seriously though, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this, too, but wish you success in being able to address the issues... perhaps make it so that he can feel better.... and a bit of comfort for your soul, which I would suppose needs that "rest" that everyone needs when overly tired... :( Praying for help, peace and comfort for your family. Praying that you'll feel God hold you in the palms of his hand...

Sorry again :(

[Tap]

we are seeing things more clearly now.

 

I'm sorry for your dd. I'm sorry for you!

 

Can we go on a vacation together? For a year?:tongue_smilie:

 

I would like that a lot.....can we push pause on our lives while we are gone, so we don't have to worry about the ensuing chaos while we are trying to relax?

[Little Nyssa]

I'm so glad you are calling NAMI-- they will be helpful.:grouphug:

[Jann in TX]

My best friend is bi-polar and I've watched her suffer from side-effect for years...

 

I have another friend who uses the same Dr as my DD and her bi-polar is 'under control'-- in that most people would not know she suffers from it.

 

Both friends have a strong family connection.

 

My dd's Dr has conducted several clinical trials with natural supplements-- and his success rates were impressive-- by success I mean getting patients off of most of their prescription meds (a few were able to go to supplements only)-- but the number of supplements can be HIGH-- average out of pocket cost per patient was $300 per month in OTC supplements... but their symptoms were under control and their quality of life much improved without the side-effects of the drugs used to reduce side-effects...

 

((hugs))-- and prayers for you-- this road is a tough one.

[Denisemomof4]

I just want to bump this in case someone on here today has had a teen diagnosed with a mental illness. I may do this one or two more times.

[muffinmom]

Don't know what exactly you are dealing with, but there are some newer therapies out there that can really help.

 

Neurofeedback is, from what I understand, a literal "retraining" of brain waves. People who are experiencing certain behavioral (or other) symptoms (ADD, excess anger, depression, anxiety, etc...) have a certain part of their brain that is, for lack of a better term, "out of order." This therapy apparently gets the brain waves back on the track they should be on. A naturopath friend of mine who is trained in this has had amazing results with her clients, and it does not require years of commitment (such as talk therapy). Just a couple of months or so is the recommended minimum. I am about to try it myself.

 

Here is a website about it in general. Hope that helps.

[Ottakee]

this child DOES need help dealing with his behaviors. I have already started a list of symptoms. I'm going to call the local NAMI to see if they can recommend a good psychiatrist to at least get medications started, hopefully, and then figure out what to do from there.

 

You know what? Life is just SO hard. I feel like I never get a break. Just when things were starting to go real well, the bottom of my world fell off.

 

check out http://www.bpkids.org under the find a doctor section for some good doctors.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

A good psychiatrist will insist on both medication and counseling (from a qualified therapist.)

 

:grouphug:

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Any psychiatrist who prescribes meds without counseling should be avoided.

 

Diagnosing a teenager with a mental illness is difficult and laborious. Many doctors do not want to diagnose a teen because of the influence of hormones, growing pains, developmental stress, etc. It is difficult to determine if the mood swings experienced by a teenager are the result of bipolar disorder or simple hormone changes. Most mental illness diagnoses aren't 'assigned' until a person reaches their early to mid twenties. It is easier to receive a tentative diagnosis based on family history but most psychiatrists will not assign a definitive diagnosis until after the age of 18.

 

A good neuropsych eval will consist of a family interview, a patient interview, a variety of written tests and patient observation. It will be the consolidation of the gathered information that will give the doctor a full picture of the patient's behavior. The full MMPI-2 has over 500 questions to answer; it is emotionally draining to complete. Hours will be spent in the interviews and the tests. This will not be a quick 30 min appointment before the answer is found.

 

A visit to the general practitioner for a complete blood workup may be requested as well. They should look at hormone levels, etc.

 

It may seem as if your world is falling apart but I beg you to look at this from your son's perspective. His world is falling apart, too, but he may not know the full extent of what is coming. There is a stigma that is associated with being diagnosed as mentally ill. Whereas our society will tend to look past physical illnesses (diabetes or HIV) or disabilities (Down's Syndrome) there is little sympathy out there for individuals who are mentally ill. Mental illness is no different than any other illness. It can be treated. Maybe counseling won't cure the mentally ill, but does insulin cure the diabetic? No, but you wouldn't tell a diabetic to not take insulin. Counseling is an important part of the process in coping with mental illness. Counseling can encourage the development of coping skills, foster understanding of the behavior, and promote awareness.

Edited February 7, 2011 by The Dragon Academy

[Denisemomof4]

Don't know what exactly you are dealing with, but there are some newer therapies out there that can really help.

 

Neurofeedback is, from what I understand, a literal "retraining" of brain waves. People who are experiencing certain behavioral (or other) symptoms (ADD, excess anger, depression, anxiety, etc...) have a certain part of their brain that is, for lack of a better term, "out of order." This therapy apparently gets the brain waves back on the track they should be on. A naturopath friend of mine who is trained in this has had amazing results with her clients, and it does not require years of commitment (such as talk therapy). Just a couple of months or so is the recommended minimum. I am about to try it myself.

 

Here is a website about it in general. Hope that helps.

 

I'm a HUGE fan of neurofeedback. I've even belonged to online groups to learn more about it. I need to check our local area again....

[Denisemomof4]

It may seem as if your world is falling apart but I beg you to look at this from your son's perspective. His world is falling apart, too, but he may not know the full extent of what is coming. There is a stigma that is associated with being diagnosed as mentally ill. Whereas our society will tend to look past physical illnesses (diabetes or HIV) or disabilities (Down's Syndrome) there is little sympathy out there for individuals who are mentally ill. Mental illness is no different than any other illness. It can be treated. Maybe counseling won't cure the mentally ill, but does insulin cure the diabetic? No, but you wouldn't tell a diabetic to not take insulin. Counseling is an important part of the process in coping with mental illness. Counseling can encourage the development of coping skills, foster understanding of the behavior, and promote awareness.

 

thank you. Those are excellent words of wisdom. It took me several days to calm down to the point to actually see things from his eyes today. I'm so numb and distraught, though, that I still can't think clearly. We will be getting him help but are in the beginning process of finding GOOD help.

[elizam]

Hi, I no longer homeschool but I do log on here every now and then. My almost 18yods was dxed with bipolar almost 3 yrs ago, but two different psychiatrists. He took three different meds on three separate occasions. I saw the most improvement when he was on Abilify.

 

He never found a counselor with whom he felt comfortable. Most of them were rude and chastizing and also were disdainful of a teen having a dx of bipolar, so they tried to convince him that his extreme mood swings and problems in society were "bad choices" and simply the result of substance abuse and ADHD. (they did, however, try to convince him that the ADHD was also a "choice" and that he could do better in school if he "wanted to.")

 

After increasingly worse episodes and consequences such as being told to drop out of school by his IEP team, jail, and loss of family connections, he finally decided he was not mentally ill and that it was all my fault, the mom who was the only one who loved him unconditionally and did everything to help him...piano lessons, long talks, suggestions as to how to improve his life, etc.....

 

he no longer hates me and even admitted a while back he wonders if he has something even worse than bipolar, like schizoaffective, which "makes you so paranoid you can't even trust your own mother sometimes." I thought that was interesting...I think he turned on me for a while because he knows I am the one who won't give up on him, and because he and I know the truth, that it *is* mental illness...and he can't bear to believe it...

 

It is almost impossible to find a good psych doc or good counselors, IMHO. Also, dual diagnosis seems unheard of where I live (mental illness and substance abuse---many MI people will self medicate with pot, alcohol, etc. but some ppl think that the SA is the main thing and that there is no such think as MI....

 

My biggest resource has been http://www.bpkids.org and NAMI. NAMI offers a Family to Family course that is very helpful. SOme communities have other mental health groups as well (we do in Charlotte)

 

It's interesting to me, because there is a lot of diagnosed and undiagnosed but obvious mental illness in both sides of my family, and the people I know and hear about who display certain behaviors almost always are bipolar or schizophrenic...it seems so easy to figure out, but so hard to get help.

[simka2]

My mother was dianosed manic depressive when I was a teenager. She was convinced that I was as well. She had the family dr give me the diagnoses she wanted. I was 16, but I knew they were wrong. My mother had just had 2 babies back to back and I had become their primary care giver. As a result, I would try to "balance out" the emotional climate in our home. When my mother would go thru a manic phase...I would act more depressed (basically drag my feet in life), when she would be depressed...I would act very excited and animated. But when she was forceing me to go on anti-depressants...I had had enough.

 

At 16 I ran away to a psychiatric ward. I had my self tested and met with counselors, therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists. When they realized I really WAS NOT manic depressive or bi-polar, I put a lock on my files (something a 16 year can do in that state) and was resleased into the custody of an aunt. My mother was so convinced of my mental illness that she and my step father moved to a different state, and because I was an unemancipated minor I had to go with. I lasted at home for a month and half, before moving out on my own (in with a boyfriend). The state they moved to was a bit more lax on where a minor could live. Eventually, I became a christian and was able to develop the support system I needed to last 1 more year at home. After that i went off to seminary.

 

Thankfully, my mom was able to start getting counseling along with her meds about 8 years later. Eventually, she called me and apologized for those horrible years when I was an adolescent. I love my mother DEARLY, and we have a great relationship!!!! But I am so thankful for her regular counseling and her support groups.

 

I guess I'm writing this to show a teens side of things (not all teens, just my side) My mom KNEW I was Bi-Polar! I knew I wasn't. I shouldn't have had to fight my own mother so hard for the truth to come out, but then again she was convinced I was mentally ill. This was before black box labels, and strong emphisis placed on involveing psychiatrists and psychologists at the beginning of the diagnoses process. Actually, I was seeing a counselor, but my mom was convinced that I had the counselor wrapped around my finger so she did not listen to the counselors advice :glare: (that was why I ran to the psychiatric hospital, I had exhausted my limited local resources)

 

Denise-I am NOT saying this is what is going on in your home. I ahve no idea what is happening there, and it is not my intent to stop the process of you getting your child help. Quite the opposite...it's to continue to encourage you to get as much help as possible :001_smile:. Hope that makes sense!!!

[Denisemomof4]

Hi, I no longer homeschool but I do log on here every now and then. My almost 18yods was dxed with bipolar almost 3 yrs ago, but two different psychiatrists. He took three different meds on three separate occasions. I saw the most improvement when he was on Abilify.

 

He never found a counselor with whom he felt comfortable. Most of them were rude and chastizing and also were disdainful of a teen having a dx of bipolar, so they tried to convince him that his extreme mood swings and problems in society were "bad choices" and simply the result of substance abuse and ADHD. (they did, however, try to convince him that the ADHD was also a "choice" and that he could do better in school if he "wanted to.")

 

After increasingly worse episodes and consequences such as being told to drop out of school by his IEP team, jail, and loss of family connections, he finally decided he was not mentally ill and that it was all my fault, the mom who was the only one who loved him unconditionally and did everything to help him...piano lessons, long talks, suggestions as to how to improve his life, etc.....

 

he no longer hates me and even admitted a while back he wonders if he has something even worse than bipolar, like schizoaffective, which "makes you so paranoid you can't even trust your own mother sometimes." I thought that was interesting...I think he turned on me for a while because he knows I am the one who won't give up on him, and because he and I know the truth, that it *is* mental illness...and he can't bear to believe it...

 

It is almost impossible to find a good psych doc or good counselors, IMHO. Also, dual diagnosis seems unheard of where I live (mental illness and substance abuse---many MI people will self medicate with pot, alcohol, etc. but some ppl think that the SA is the main thing and that there is no such think as MI....

 

My biggest resource has been http://www.bpkids.org and NAMI. NAMI offers a Family to Family course that is very helpful. SOme communities have other mental health groups as well (we do in Charlotte)

 

It's interesting to me, because there is a lot of diagnosed and undiagnosed but obvious mental illness in both sides of my family, and the people I know and hear about who display certain behaviors almost always are bipolar or schizophrenic...it seems so easy to figure out, but so hard to get help.

 

you are an absolute DOLL. It took a lot of courage to post this. You are SO RIGHT that mental illness is not an acceptable behavior/disorder. I know this well as I have two mental ill siblings who's diagnosis' were hidden and denied. I understand that, though, because as I tread these waters, even here, I know some don't even want to touch this.

 

I can't thank you enough for sharing your story. As I have stated before, I'm in the infancy stages of doing my research. I'm starting to move beyond my desperation and disbelief so that I can help my son. I still struggle to move beyond, though.....................