micheller1 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 This is my daughter hailey's first week homeschooling with us. My first year homeschooling. I thought me and the other three kids totally had a great groove. Then came all the holidays....then add an 8th grader who is a reluctant homeschooler after a very long three week break and after two days back, all of sudden I feel completely incompetent all over again. I bought several useless curriculums (i.e. lials prealgebra teacher's edition vs. lials prealgebra student edition, HATES the didax editing book, so far she is loathing apologia physical science and i am too actually - does it get than this???) so she's wasting a lot of time in her day, which is wasting a lot of everyone else's time. Add to that a 13 yo girl attitude, a traveling husband, a 4 yo, a filthy house, 2 sick children (one of which puked all over my bedroom carpet!!) and the stress of the drama and sadness in my life b/c my mother is no longer speaking to me and I really think I just want to have a nervous breakdown today. Or maybe just sit in the corner and cry for hours on end....:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: I *so* understand everything you're saying. Have a good cry, get a good night's sleep, take a deep breath and keep on trying. Our hardest year was the first year--I felt like it took my oldest awhile to get into the mindset of homeschooling. And she was only 8 at the time, so I didn't have to do it with a teenager's attitude! Give it time...think of it as a lesson in perseverance! I will keep you in prayer...that all of the other issues will calm down, that you can focus on homeschooling and that your teenager will have a change of heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: Sorry! Transitions back are always bumpy. Hope things are better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I bought several useless curriculums (i.e. lials prealgebra teacher's edition vs. lials prealgebra student edition, HATES the didax editing book, so far she is loathing apologia physical science and i am too actually - does it get than this???) so she's wasting a lot of time in her day, which is wasting a lot of everyone else's time. Do you have access to the books she was using in school? While they may not be ideal, it would be another option to buy you some time while you work out the best choices for her. Also, have you considered using a co-op for a class or two or three for your dd? At that age, the social aspects, the intellectual peers, and being responsible to someone other than mom as teacher can be a welcome addition to what you're doing at home. It may not be the right choice for you, I'm just putting it out there as something to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: Oh mama. Have a good cry, sometimes that just needs to happen before you can clear your head and move on. Let us know if you need any specific advice, we are all here for you. And for now, we can just be your shoulder. I'm sorry it is so hard for you right now, I hope it gets better soon. Hang in there. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: I *so* understand everything you're saying. Have a good cry, get a good night's sleep, take a deep breath and keep on trying. Our hardest year was the first year--I felt like it took my oldest awhile to get into the mindset of homeschooling. And she was only 8 at the time, so I didn't have to do it with a teenager's attitude! Give it time...think of it as a lesson in perseverance! I will keep you in prayer...that all of the other issues will calm down, that you can focus on homeschooling and that your teenager will have a change of heart. :iagree: Take a deep breath... it will be okay. :grouphug: There is no harm in taking a break and replanning things. I have to chime in on Apologia. I am a former schoolteacher and I tried it with my son twice in 7th/8th grade and again this semester in 10th grade... we both hate it. LOL ;) I ended up using a school textbook with teacher's manual and supplementing with many more things. (I tend to be electic.) We all have bought into curriculum based on reviews and later realized the items did not fit for us. It happens. Can you re-sell them at a local Homeschool USED Book Fair? Ours is in April/May. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 and yeah, attitude can be awful. The Lial's student book is usually available used at amazon.com for very little money. The Apologia book takes some getting used to, but it does get better. DS is on chapter 8. Hope everyone is feeling better soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micheller1 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Do you have access to the books she was using in school? While they may not be ideal, it would be another option to buy you some time while you work out the best choices for her. Also, have you considered using a co-op for a class or two or three for your dd? At that age, the social aspects, the intellectual peers, and being responsible to someone other than mom as teacher can be a welcome addition to what you're doing at home. It may not be the right choice for you, I'm just putting it out there as something to consider. Where we live, there are no co-op options. I'm working to get us into the "in" homeschool group. The one with all "teenage" homeschoolers, since this kid doesn't think the one we are currently a part of is going to fit her social needs. So I'm working on getting into this group. You'd think it was some sort of cult, the freakin hoops you gotta jump through. I happened upon the Yourteacher.com math deal from Homeschool buyers coop and so I bought that today since it was instant, it had good reviews, seemed very interactive and she can start tomorrow. We'll see how that works until I can figure out what to do. (any hive recommendations on Yourteacher.com?) I appreciate everyone's support :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I will cry with you!! My advice..cry then breathe...then out with what isn't working..sell it and buy something else. I too am in my first year of hs with a very reluctant 7th grader. Find one thing you both like and do that then keep adding until you have everything you want. SOTW has done that for me..it is our time to cuddle on the couch and I read to him and he answers the questions and we talk. You might want to try Jason.org for science until you find something else. My guy likes it a lot. Fill free to pm me if you need some more ideas or support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Take another week off. ESPECIALLY the 13 yo. For 1-she's 13. :glare:. 2. You just totally upended her world and she needs to get used to that. 3. If you don't like it, change it. The first year is the hardest. You read about all these currics, and you buy them with great excitement and low and behold, they don't work for you. Your kids go through a decompression that splatters all over everyone and you long for the days of putting them on the bus. Seriously, take another week off. Why? the holidays are vacation for everyone but Mom-the lady who needs it most. Get some sleep, get the house in order and in the back of your mind, make a decision on the curric and if you want to push forward with them or change horses midstream. Let your 13 yo relax and get into the groove of being at home. The holidays are not that time-that's when the crazyness is happening. That's not the normal day, you know? I have heard-and I don't disagree-that a long time should be taken for decompression. But that is up to you an dyou will hear differing opinions on it. For myself, I wish I had given my then 7th grader a much longer break when he started. :grouphug::grouphug: the fist year is so very hard. Be gentle with yourself. Edited January 12, 2011 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 If I were you, I would be taking a few days to re-group and pull things together for the oldest. Have the others follow their normal groove and have her do only English and Math or only writing for a few days while you get things back on track for her. Is this the first time you have ever homeschooled her? If so, it takes a lot of time to get things down - maybe even a couple of years! - curriculum wise. It seems like you have found what works for your other 3 kiddos, so just take a bit and find what is going to work for your oldest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Wow. I thought I was having a bad day today. You win. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: These things too shall pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Building on previous poster's suggestions, two things came to mind. 1) Use your library! While organized curriculum is one way to do school, another option is to read, read, read. If your dd is a reader, you can't go wrong by spending a few weeks reading while you get your more formal curriculum plans together. Check out armfuls of books that appeal to her and/or you, put them in a basket, and go from there each day. 2) Have you asked her what she would like to study? Are there projects she has been wanting to do but hasn't had time because of school? Does she want to cook or sew or make things out of wood or draw or paint or program a computer? See if there's something you can help her with. It may help her to appreciate the benefits of homeschooling - the time to explore your own interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I am SOOOO sorry!! Get some dark chocolate and eat .... and drink some sparkling apple juice :) One baby step at a time.. It'll get better... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: Take a few days to decompress, and then make a new plan.... beauty of homeschooling is you can change things if they aren't working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 If you just pulled her out of school, she's going to need time to deschool. Can she work independently on a project or unit study of a subject she is interested in? Could she spend a couple of weeks doing an art study? Do some painting? Or build something? You could slowly add subjects one at a time in a few weeks. I agree with the chocolate suggestion. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: I know this is a rough time, but I'll also bet that lots of us on here have written a post like yours at one time or another. We've all been there. Think about why you brought them home and know that this is the best thing for them right now, and you know that because you are the grown up. Is there possibly an opportunity for you to attend a homeschool convention anytime soon? I just went to my first one this past summer, and I wish I hadn't waited so long to get to one. The speakers and workshops were great at inspiring me and give me ideas as to how to make things run more smoothly at home, and the curriculum hall was amazing! Sometimes you need to hold a book in your hand to see if it's going to work for you. Plus, I went alone, so it was sort of a (wonderful) working vacation! I agree with everything all the others have already said, including the chocolate....especially the chocolate! Hang in there...you can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: You poor thing! A few things. 1. It's normal for kids to get kind of "school sick" and miss school/their friends temporarily once you've pulled them out, and that's even for kids who AREN'T "reluctant" homeschoolers, as you've termed your daughter. She will eventually come to terms with it though. In the meanwhile: 2. Give her a little more time to "deschool" rather than jumping in right away like you are when she's already upset too (and forget about the hormones with those teenage girls, everything's even more dramatic than it is for the rest of the world lol). So just give her a little time to decompress and adjust. 3. Stop buying different curricula sight unseen right now. For one, it's a waste of money. for another, you don't know if she's going to love it or hate it. And for another, you don't know if she WOULD have liked it if you'd have waited a while instead of offering it up in her current miserable, resistant state during which she will probably hate everything. Right now maybe you can focus more on bonding with her and seeing what she's interested in and what you can do to help her explore that. Sort of go more unschoolish with her for a while. Find her some educational games to play, let her pick whatever she wants at the library, watch educational shows and movies and discuss them, play board games together, do field trips and tours to the extent you can and so on, while you try to figure out what she's interested in and what her learning style is. At some point maybe you can go to a used curriculum sale or a homeschool convention or something- together. Look at the different curricula available- together. Let her have a say in which one she wants to use. Let her feel like she has some choice and say in all of this. (Even if you can't do that in person, you can still do it online together). Anyway, hang in there, I hope things start looking up for you very soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 If you just pulled her out of school, she's going to need time to deschool. Can she work independently on a project or unit study of a subject she is interested in? Could she spend a couple of weeks doing an art study? Do some painting? Or build something? You could slowly add subjects one at a time in a few weeks. :iagree::iagree::iagree: If I were you or your dd, I'd be crying too. Let her take time off from official "school." Part of the joy of hsing is doing what works. Decide what is non-negotiable for you. Math maybe? Have that be the only formal subject of the day, and do it at a predetermined time. Other than that, let her decide what to do the rest of the day. If this were my child, I would ban anything with a screen, I would limit listening to music, and I would offer lots of possibilities: spending time with family (any grandparents nearby whose company she would enjoy?), cleaning anything, reading to or playing games with the younger children, taking the little kids out anywhere, helping with meal planning or cooking, reading to herself, spending part of the day with Dad at work, writing anything, creating anything, doing puzzles in the newspaper. What would she like to do? We brought my dd home from ps in the middle of first grade, and even that was a very stressful disruption to her life. (Who'd have thought that after just four months of full day school?) Instead of doing schoolwork with her, just spend time with her. This is a hugely stressful event in her life (even if she's hsed before). You have plenty of other challenges right now. Enjoy being around each other. It may be necessary to help her keep on track, even in general. She's used to a schedule dictated by others, and she may be totally lost and unprepared if she's given this challenge all of a sudden now (especially since she's not sure of what the schedule really is). You can ask her what subject she'd like to add back in to her schedule every week or two. Just as with your younger children, you don't have to do it all. Let her get to the point where she appreciates being home (at least appreciates it a little more!). :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leila Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 First of all, it's ok to cry. Sometimes it's the only way to relieve stress. But I want you to know, I am praying for you. I suggest you can either take a break until kids get better. Relax a little bit. The 2 older ones can hang in there and read something related to their subjects. Or you can focus on one child this week and the rest of the pack can just do simple stuff. Don't worry too much about time. There is always time to catch up. Heal yourself first. Do something special for you. A happy mommy is a happy homeschooling home. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micheller1 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 y'all are so wonderful and I dropped everything off our schedule except reading, grammar and math. I still had my other kids who are used to homeschooling stick with their regularly scheduled writing program. Which btw, I just switched to writeshop for my olders and they LOVE it!! YaY for success I was lucky enough to fall down the stairs yesterday :glare: and completely hurt myself. But the dr. said only contusions and muscle strain so just rest and take easy and don't lift anything not even a gallon of milk - which should be REALLY EASY...NOT....:001_huh: But I bought YourTeacher.com for algebra and she tested out of almost all of unit 1 so far and that's making her pretty happy and we're sticking with our literature unit and vocab/classical roots and that's about it for her. Next week I'll figure something else out. I'm just going to keep repeating to myself - just breathe, woman.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Jessica* Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Repeat it over and over and over: I'm normal, I'm normal, I'm normal. The transitions were so rotten for us that I actually had my kids doing lessons six days a week -- initially seven, just way shortened -- because they couldn't handle being done on Fri. and not starting again until Mon. Now they were only six when I initiated that brilliant idea, but I still want to stress: transition problems are normal. I'm also a warm hearted, softie type who wants everyone to love and hug and have fun. And I, essentially, had to shut her up with duck tape and start laying down the rules. Right or wrong, I also do a lot of "moralizing," but in an intersting way. . . he's why I won't let you watch TV today, here's why we learn Latin, here's why and I don't talk down to them. I just explain the nuts and bolts of why we're doing what we do. It seems to help. They're still a pain at transitions and I think it's unfortunately a part of homeschooling. Hang tough! Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RecumbentHeart Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 :grouphug: The traveling husband part puts me over the top. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I'm just going to keep repeating to myself - just breathe, woman.... Sounds like a good start! ;) Tomorrow will be a better school day (or not-school day) AND I bet you won't be falling down the stairs. Happy Friday!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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