CC - homeschooling and church question

[mommaduck]

We are one of three homeschooling families in a fairly large church. We also have school teachers, etc in our church. However, I'm more comfortable here than I have been in churches where everyone homeschooled.

[HayesW]

Until recently, we were this family! We were the only homeschooling family in our congregation, attendence of about 250 on sunday mornings. One of our deacons is a middle school principal in our district. Another deacon's wife is a retired math teacher who won multiple national titles for our local high school. Assorted other teachers and subs as well. We rarely got grief from anyone.

[blessed3x]

Until recently, we were this family! We were the only homeschooling family in our congregation, attendence of about 250 on sunday mornings. One of our deacons is a middle school principal in our district. Another deacon's wife is a retired math teacher who won multiple national titles for our local high school. Assorted other teachers and subs as well. We rarely got grief from anyone.

 

Can I ask what changed? Just because you said "until recently"....

 

:001_smile:

[QuirkyKapers]

I would continue going if you are happy and no one is giving you a difficult time regarding your choice. I agree with others, make connections outside of church with other homeschooling families.

[Tutor]

We are and it does. :glare:

 

There is a small, classical, private school across the street from our church and many of the families in the congregation send their kids there. We asked if the school was affiliated with the church before we decided to join (if it was, we would have probably looked for a different church to avoid pressure to send the kids there). Well, it isn't technically, but it may as well be. We've had to speak to the pastor on a few occasions about praying for "students" from the pulpit then only praying specifically for the students at that school and the local university. He finally is consistent in remembering the public school kids but still forgets us homeschoolers quite a bit (there used to be one other family, now it's just us).

 

No one pressured us directly, but we get comments about how well our kids would do at the school quite often. It gets tiresome, but we made vows to support this church, so we'll try to change perspectives from within.

[dirty ethel rackham]

We are one of the few homeschooling families at our church. It is a large parish of over 4000 families, and there is a parish school. So, if there is another family who does, I don't know them. I guess it never occurred to me to look for homeschooling support from our church. I get that elsewhere. I'm just happy that I don't get much flack from it - even from the teachers at that school. Most people think I am some kind of saint with otherworldly patience to homeschool. (Ha ha - they don't know me that well;D).

 

I guess that, unless you feel like an outsider to other homeschoolers, and get support somewhere, I would try to change my expectations.

[Donovans4]

I haven't read all the responses, but we are in this situation. We are the only homeschooling familiy in our (liberal) chuch, and there are a lot of teachers in our congregation. Sometimes it does bother me, but I have learned to let the negative or misinformed comments roll off my back. And, it is always nice to hear them comment on my kids (in a positive way) so it all works out.

[scrappyhappymama]

Would it bother you to be the only homeschool family in your church?

Would it make a difference if the church were largely teachers and members of your local school board?

 

This is where my family is, and I just feel like something is missing.

We really like the teachings of the church, the pastor and the congregation. Nobody has questioned or commented on our choice to homeschool.

What I feel we are missing is families who have made the choice we have made, who understand how we choose to live and go through the same struggles and joys.

 

Can anyone else relate? Am I just wanting too much??:confused:

 

I relate completely. We are the only currently homeschooling family in our smallish church. There is a family who used to homeschool, but their youngest is in high school and they sent all their to public high schools. We are fortunate to have a lot of young families for a smaller church, but we do feel a bit out of the loop. The homeschooling lifestyle just tends to be a lot different than the public school lifestyle- earlier bedtimes, having to rush home for homework, etc. Even the parents of preschoolers all plan to public school, and all have Mother's Day Out and the like in common.

 

Besides homeschooling, we're also more "crunchy" than the other young families, and believe in things like courtship rather than dating, so we just don't really fit in. However social reasons are the the paramount reason we worship where we do, and doctrinally and spiritually we all get along, so I focus on that. But I do wish that my children (and I) had peers at church more like them.

 

Yes, Because I would figure that the leaders of the church probably aren't educated about well... the goals of Christian Education and how World View is so important. Also, I would assume that they believe that public school is meeting the goals of education... at large. It depends on WHY you homeschool, partially. For me, the reasons are intertwined and can't be taken apart... To be knowing God... and study about His world, you have to acknowledge that it is His world... and if you know that it's His world... you want to be more educated.... Academics are not a "neutral ground"....

 

:) (Oh, and our Pastor... a former Missionary... never talks about academics... except to pray before the start of the year for the kids and teachers...and it bugs me to no end..... I really wonder if he has NO thoughts on Worldview and how they are taught in Public school...)

 

I appreciate worldview concerns... however, I would never presume that every Christian who is an administrator or teaches in the public school system is unaware of the issues there. Instead, I know many good, godly people who work in the school systems in order to have a positive influence there. And I for one am grateful to them. I feel really blessed to be able to homeschool my children, but I know not every family is able to do so, even if they wanted to. I don't buy into the argument that a parent should send their kids to public school so they can be a light, but I surely have no problem with adults who choose to make their profession there and to be the best teacher/administrator they can be, and perhaps to even improve the system from within.

[Holly IN]

Our church have people from all walks of life....private school, public and homeschoolers. They all get along. My ds is going to the high school group on Sunday nights which consists of cafe bar (with finger food snacks and pop along with game/social half hour) then worship which consist of songs and preaching (talking really REAL sermons!!) then break into small groups by grade and by sex....10th grade boys are all together. My son's group is a mixer of homeschoolers, private and public. None of them care!!

 

He loves it there.

 

It really doesn't matter to me. However if majority were public school and very deviant against homeschoolers than I would have a problem with it and will refraine from talking about educational matters OR will leave the church. We did that....went from a small country church to a mega church. While we have issues with the mega church...we still fit right in there since none care about where your kids go to school or how they are educated. Sounds good to me!!

 

Now about families....That is the beef I have with this mega church. My son's high school group is more like a family to each other.

I have listened to the high school studen minister and he really hits this home with the kids. However in the adult corporate (and the kids do go with us during the corporate worship on Sunday mornings) this is not the case however they are hitting it home that fathers need to instruct their children on the Bible instead of depending on the church to teach the kids. So it is a mixed bag and we do have issues with the church on this. We just figured since our high school son is gaining very good experiences we are staying put for now. (They do allow non-members or non-sunday morning attenders to attend the high school group)

 

Holly

Edited January 15, 2011 by Holly IN

[SonshineLearner]

..... I don't buy into the argument that a parent should send their kids to public school so they can be a light, but I surely have no problem with adults who choose to make their profession there and to be the best teacher/administrator they can be, and perhaps to even improve the system from within.

 

Of course :) Sorry if it looks like I think all public school teachers and administrators are secular in thinking. I merely meant that I don't think there's much of a thought about the contrast between what Public school is teaching and a Christian Worldview. I really don't think that most of the teachers I know, even Christian, see anything wrong with the curriculum.

 

:)

[Jami]

We are one of just four families that I know of who homeschool in a church of 600+ attenders. There are three private, classical/CM schools that many people send their children too. All excellent choices, one is a University Model, so those families sort of straddle the hs/private school worlds. And our church has many, *many* young families with children not yet school-aged, but I don't think homeschooling is on the radar of most of the young moms I've spoken with. It's not a negative place to be, but it can be a little lonely. Primarily because friendships between families more naturally form around where children go to school. So it has been much harder for my kids to really get to know the kids their ages here and Sunday is really the only opportunity. Many of those kids just already have their friendships established with schoolmates. But I have not felt unsupported in any way for my choice. There are a few "older moms" who did homeschool and they are truly Titus 2 women and share their wisdom and experience and encourage those few of us opting to educate our children ourselves.

 

But I still deeply miss my former church where the majority of us were homeschoolers and our children had deep friendships as well. It was a small church though and I miss it for its intimate size as well.

[Kirch]

I haven't read the other replies yet, but we're pretty much in the situation you describe. We live in a small town, and our pastor and youth pastor are both teachers, we have a school board member, counselor, secretary, the assistant elementary principal, and several other teachers who are members or who attend regularly. AND I sub some (mostly at the high school). It doesn't really bother me--no one has been negative at all about it. If anyone has a problem with homeschooling, they keep quiet about it around me!

 

Still, I know what you mean--sometimes I feel very out-of-the-loop since we don't share this thing that almost every other family in the church does (or will). It's magnified by the fact that this is small-town Texas, so community life pretty much revolves around the school. I don't think we made the wrong decision, but it does get lonely sometimes. I just have to remind myself of the reasons why we're marching to the beat of a different drummer!

[Dmmetler]

My church has it's own school, and almost all the kids attend that school. until 8th grade. The few who don't, go to public school. We're the ONLY homeschoolers (although a few families have told me that they homeschooled until we moved here). Furthermore, almost half my small group TEACHES at the school. By pulling DD out of the church school to homeschool, we're very definitely against the grain.

 

I hate to change churches, because DD has some friends there who she was in school with last year, and who she rarely sees away from church anymore. But I miss the feeling of "belonging" that I had when we were both church/school and that I'm the odd man out.

 

Unfortunately, there aren't many churches of my denomination here-and I think they ALL have schools, so changing churches would likely just change the faces, not the situation.

[Ellie]

That's how it was when we started hsing in 1982. We managed to find other hsers; we didn't feel the need to have them in our own church.