goldberry Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 DD was in public school through 4th grade. DD is very social and sensitive to friendship issues, girls were starting to get mean, it was really affecting her. Also combined with upcoming middle school (we only have one choice and it is not a good one). We made the decision WITH dd to homeschool. 5th grade we did online school, DD thought it was hard but still better than PS. This year 6th we are doing HS with a HS cirriculum, she actually enjoys the cirriculum better than last year. Also discovered she has some ADD issues, so I am really glad we are HSing and think there might be some very real problems in PS. DD has several close friends from church that she sees twice a week at church and usually once additional for just socializing. She says she wants to go back to PS because she misses being around people. I reminded her about her previous experiences. She says she doesn't care if they are mean people or not (???), she would just rather be around people everyday. We talked about some of the other issues, like how she takes a long time to get her work done, and how that might work in PS, and also the homework, schedule, etc. This kid hated homework IN FOURTH GRADE, which consisted of maybe 30 min per night. I can't even imagine what she would do with middle school level homework. This is actually the second time she has mentioned this, the first was a couple of months ago. Has anyone ever let their kid go back to PS knowing it wasn't going to go well? Anyone not do that and have to deal with kid saying, I wanted PS but you wouldn't let me? I have no idea what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 My own experience from going to a public elementary school in CA, to a private Christian school (which did the ACE curriculum) with much higher standards in AK, and then back to a public high school in CA was difficult socially. I wasn't accepted in elementary school, when I moved to the ps everyone all ready had friends and didn't want to include me, and then back to the hs with all the same kids from the elementary school was just as cliquish and bad, though there was a bigger pool of people to find one or two friends in. I doubt if things are going to go much better for your daughter than it did in elementary school. Are there no homeschooling groups in your area? Our local hs opens up their sports teams sometimes to kids out of the school. Or maybe your hs has after school groups that she could join, without having to completely switch. I attended an International Folk dance group that was affiliated with the hs, but open to everyone. It was one of the best experiences of my hs years. Our local CSD also offers classes for hs aged kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 We don't have any hs groups, I wish we did! The nearest ones are about an hour away. So has anyone ever had a kid that wanted to go back to PS but you just said no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If you choose to keep her home, I would start travelling that hour at least weekly. I might consider volunteer work as well. Is there something you can do together? At that age it's difficult to find folks willing to take on a child without an adult. I am thinking maybe a food bank or some such place. Maybe an animal shelter? Shelving books at the library? This isn't going to go away at this age. I had one who needs a lot of people activity, and truly thrives in such settings. Some people really are like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevilla Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I would tell her that you can revisit the topic for high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2a&z Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Both of my kids, if given the choice would choose ps. My dd is 12 and in the 7th grade. She was in a Christian school through 3rd, ps in 4th, and then homeschooled from then on. She had the same type of issues as you described. Girls were just mean, and when she switched to the ps, she was put in a class with 24 kids and only 8 girls. She never really made friends that year, so when we brought up hs, she was all for it. Now she really wants to go to middle school, but I know it would not be a good fit for her. She has some learning disabilities which also affect her social skills. She doesn't get jokes, takes things very literally, and has a hard time telling a story. When she brings up wanting to go to ps, we just tell her that we are her parents and we know what is best for her. We remind her of all the positive aspects of hs and the negatives of ps. We are also joining a co-op this month that I hope will help her feel like she is in "school" at least one day a week. My ds actually feels the same way and wants to go back to ps. When I ask him what he misses the most, he response is: lunch, recess, and the bus ride. Co-op has 2 of the 3 and I told him if he really wants to ride a bus, I'll be happy to take him on the city bus for a ride. I agree with a pp and think it's important that you join a hs group, even if its a long drive. The co-op we are joining is 40 minutes away, and if it were up to me, we wouldn't be doing it. But my kids really want to, and if it will get them to stop asking to go back to ps, then it's worth it. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Maybe you're right about the co-op. I think I'll check into it more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I would personally look to incorporate more classes & group activities to meet socialization needs before going back to PS. Middle school/jr. high is the absolute worst time socially when it comes to B&M schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 The choice is really up to you, and not your daughter, although she should be in on the plans that you are going to make for her future. I think sitting downa and talking with her more about it would be a good idea, and try to let her know what happened balc in ps could possibly happen again. PS is very hard social wise, and can be hard academic wise as well, depending on her level. She won't get the individual attention that she needs, and it will be hard for her. There are times that I want to go back to ps, but then I think about all of the reasons why I left ps. Try to find something for her to do, get her more involved in things, especially homeschooling groups. Although they are an hour away, maybe just once or twice a week couldn't hurt? I hope this helps in some way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 In Washington where I live homeschooled students are allowed to use the public schools as much or as little as they'd like. I've known lots of kids who take just a few courses at the local middle school and have really enjoyed it. Perhaps your state has a similar allowance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I would personally look to incorporate more classes & group activities to meet socialization needs before going back to PS. Middle school/jr. high is the absolute worst time socially when it comes to B&M schools. :iagree: She doesn't have to go back to PS to have friends. Unfortunately, a lot of us have to travel to get together with other homsechoolers. It might be worth the effort:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I have been dealing with the same thing. My DD complains tho and drives me up the wall. I flat out told her no. Not going to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) In Washington where I live homeschooled students are allowed to use the public schools as much or as little as they'd like. I've known lots of kids who take just a few courses at the local middle school and have really enjoyed it. Perhaps your state has a similar allowance. That's true in my town as well (although not in all the sourrounding areas. It depends on the district). My oldest dd has been able to take art & chemistry. She also ran x-country for 3 seasons. It has been very limited, and just right for her. Artsy kids also tend to be very kind & understanding. She has enjoyed the diversion when it's come up, and was very happy & excited by her choices. The art was an especially fantastic experience. Edited January 3, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Just start wrapping your mind around the idea of traveling to the groups that are an hour away! :D If it helps, extremely inconvenient extra-curriculars seem par for the course in the middle grades, hs'd or not. I'm personally very, very glad when the inconvenience is timed during the day, and not in the evening. The vast majority of classes/activities for middle and upper grades start at 7 in the evening, 6.30 if you're lucky (because almost everyone is at school/work during the day, and younger kids get the earlier slots). So, yep, visit a few groups this spring. A fair amount of school work can be done in the car; we listen to history chapters, do memory work, foreign language vocab, free reading, etc. so the time is not a washout. As others have said, you can also explore things closer to home that may not involve age mates, but people and interaction. Don't forget little things that might make a big difference, like making sure to leave the house more days than not. I mean, yes, it's called home schooling, but we ARE allowed to leave :lol:. Back when we had few 'reasons' to leave the house, I was guilty of hibernating. Scheduling in visits to Starbucks, the library, etc really helped break the pattern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I understand her reasons, and I think you need to make efforts to fulfill her people needs in some other ways. There is no way I would send my child to ps so he/she could socialize--that's one of the reasons we homeschool! (And...what about academics? Would ps be the better academic choice? That *is* the purpose of school, after all.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Just start wrapping your mind around the idea of traveling to the groups that are an hour away! :D If it helps, extremely inconvenient extra-curriculars seem par for the course in the middle grades, hs'd or not. I'm personally very, very glad when the inconvenience is timed during the day, and not in the evening. The vast majority of classes/activities for middle and upper grades start at 7 in the evening, 6.30 if you're lucky (because almost everyone is at school/work during the day, and younger kids get the earlier slots). You're right about that...a friend I have with 3 kids is NEVER HOME, and they rarely ever get to eat a meal together because of all the kids activities. One or two days driving isn't too much to expect I guess. FYI, we do "get out" alot, she does dance classes and volunteers at the animal shelter. She's just "glamorizing" the school life in her mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Can you allow her to do public school activities? My 12 yo has tons of friends that are all in public school. So she attends all the dances, does the after school activities, and sometimes will even join a club. The homeschoolers here are allowed to take any electives as well, like music, instrument lessons, art, PE, etc... And what is good, is that she is still getting a good education at home. Plus, knowing what kind of "drama" there can be in the public schools, and she can choose to be part of certain groups that tend to be "drama free". When you are is PS all day, you don't have those choices. OTOH, my other daughter returned to PS for high school, and she is graduating this year. Her experience has been both good and bad. She has told me on certain occassions that maybe she should have just stayed home. It is a tough decision to make.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 My middle dd went to PS for K. The next year we needed to homeschool her older sister so she came home too. We lived in a large city with lots of homeschool support options and lots of neighborhood/church friends. When middle dd was in 4th grade we moved to the boonies. She asked to go back to PS--we have NO neighbors and NO homeschool support in our area. I wasn't thrilled by DH said OK so off she went. Many of the 4th grade girls were just plain mean. I was not thrilled with the curriculum... dd was at the top of her class and did well academically--she had a few friends (not everyone was mean). She asked to come home for 5th grade. In 6th grade dd returned to PS for a variety of reasons (mostly my sanity!). This is the first year of middle school and the first year of band (her main reason for wanting to go back). Middle school was GREAT for dd... she was a top honor's student, had a great group of friends and did not mind doing her homework every night though her older sister (still homeschooled) didn't have any. DD LOVED 9th grade at the PS... again she was a high honors student-- she said her years as a homeschooler helped instill a great work ethic--in other words she actually STUDIED for tests:svengo: DD came back home in 10th due to personal health problems.... she still keeps in touch with her friends (still a great group of kids) and she is allowed to play in the High school Band as an honorary member. She is a Sr this year and takes most of her classes at a Community College (about 45 min drive from home-- so it is close!:lol: -- I guess it depends on your reasons for homeschooling. Our family views homeschooling as ONE possible option. It has not always been the 'best'-- but it did not ruin them either! DH and I place our children in the school setting we feel is the most appropriate at the time. I have taught/tutored homeschooled students for over 20 years. I've seen success and failure.... nothing is best for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 My youngest will more than likely be going to ps next year. For her I think it will be a good thing. She's my very social kid and she has had a difficult time this year with several of her hs friends starting ps. Parkdays have changed and now the kids her age are mostly boys instead of mostly girls. She's fine hanging out with the boys, but it's not the same as it used to be. If she can get into the charter school where her friends are going, that's probably where she'll go. If not, she may go to the local middle school, but all her neighborhood friends are one year older than she is, so they will all be in 9th grade while she's in 8th and wouldn't be at the school with her. If she can't get into the charter school, I'm not sure she'd choose to do ps. I just know that she needs a lot more social time than I've been able to arrange for her. If we can get her sleep deprivation issues taken care of, then I think ps will be good for her next year. If we can't get the sleep deprivation issues resolved, then I don't know what we're going to do. We're working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) You're right about that...a friend I have with 3 kids is NEVER HOME, and they rarely ever get to eat a meal together because of all the kids activities. One or two days driving isn't too much to expect I guess. FYI, we do "get out" alot, she does dance classes and volunteers at the animal shelter. She's just "glamorizing" the school life in her mind. She sounds like she needs to do something active & useful more days than not. I'd just try to make that happen. I have one who needs physically and mentally productive days (he's not one to enjoy sitting around). Edited January 3, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 Just an update, signed DD up for a Friday homeschool art thing, she will be taking drama, choir, and juggling! She is totally excited. It's an hour away, but you guys were right, I think its going to be worth it. Also have her on a waiting list for next year for a one-day supplement class at a regular school with other kids, lunch, etc. I let her know as well that I would be willing to revisit the issue in high school, perhaps the last two years. That seemed to satify her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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