Preschool: Yay or Nay

[ondreeuh]

The only reason my 3 year old is not in preschool is because he takes 3-hour naps. Otherwise, I would send him in a heartbeat, even though is IS expensive for what you get. The bottom line is that my 9 year old needs quiet in order to work, and we can't get much done when the youngest is being his loud, busy, needy self. Trying to work with the 3 y/o underfoot is frustrating for ALL of us and I don't want to be yelling at my youngest for acting his age. If he were quieter, or if my middle kiddo was less sensitive, then it wouldn't be so appealing.

[ereks mom]

I voted "other," because I think it depends on the family, the kid, and the preschool. Everyone should decide on a case-by-case basis.

 

:iagree:

[Mrs Mungo]

I didn't answer the post because it depends upon more than just the child. My older two kids went to preschool for a year when they were 3. It's a good age for a preschooler to get out of the house a few hours for a couple of times a week. It's especially good for moms who don't get a break any other way. It depends greatly upon individual factors. JMO, YMMV, etc.

[Mrs Mungo]

Interacting with parents/grandparents and older siblings is better for the littles than being around other littles and adults who are not related to them.

 

Which is a nice ideal situation. Not everyone lives close to family. I lived in Germany when my girls were little, around 3,000 miles from any grandparents. My dh worked until 9 pm every night. It sucked for me because I had no help whatsoever. We had a fabulous neighborhood preschool that they attended twice a week for 3 hours. It didn't kill them, it gave me a break.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Our third dc went to preschool, and it was very good for her. It would have been horrible for my first two kids, but this child is cut from a different cloth. She thrives in a room surrounded with 20 or 30 kids. She absolutely loves it, and begs to go every day. She taught herself to read at 3, and has a strong grasp of arithmetic. She is a socially gifted. Going to preschool hasn't hurt her in the least.

 

It also allows me a few hours of uninterrupted school time with her older siblings.

 

I wouldn't ever say it's the best thing for all children. But preschool is not evil. For some children and families, it's the best thing since sliced bread.

[DawnL]

I voted "depends on the child".

 

My daughter, who is our oldest, went to preschool and had a wonderful experience. She went from there to public school.

 

Enter my oldest son, who went to the same preschool. His experiences in preschool are why we are homeschooling today.

 

It was awful. My son is a non-conformist in a lot of ways, and the staff at this preschool have been doing things in exactly the same way for more than 30 years. I pulled him out halfway through his second year and ended with a strongly-worded letter to the staff. (which I'm quite certain fell on deaf ears, but it would have been wrong not to try)

 

After that, I won't even consider sending my youngest son to preschool, even though I'm certain he would do well. We don't have a lot of time and we really don't have the money, and he does great at home, with preschool work thrown in here and there.

 

My sister and I never went to preschool and we turned out okay. I know, it's a lame reason, but I do think they are okay without it. Preschool years should be all about learning through play, anyway.

[Jenny in GA]

My youngest is a four year old boy. We have him in 4-morning pre-school this year and just love it. I can get so much more done with his oldest sisters. Before I felt like I was spending a lot of time telling him to "go play" or setting him up with a video. Also, it was obvious that he really craved the company of other boys. And he is very social and quite a talker.

 

He has really thrived and enjoyed it. He comes home singing the songs they learned, talking on and on about this friends, and constantly showing up the sign language and telling us the Spanish words.

 

There are ten kids in his class, and two teachers. The teachers are just wonderful people who really love the kids. When we signed him up, I told them that he had zero interest in writing, coloring ... or really, most things that weren't cars and trucks! :) The teachers assured me that they never make the kids do any particular activity. However, I have been amazed at how very interested he is in his letters and numbers. He talks about them and names them all the time!

 

So yes, pre-school has been a great thing here. It even makes me feel a little bad that I didn't sent my older two. However, I did more "messy hands-on stuff" with them myself when they were that age.

[Closeacademy]

Preschools as most seem run are little more than tiny prisons for small children. Montessori is better in that the children are allowed to pick and choose what they do but for those under the age of 6 they really need to have a lot of time just playing and exploring the world around them.

 

This time is an age of wonder that quickly passes and you can never have it back. It is a wonderful time for you little one to play at helping you with chores, baking, taking walks, telling stories, singing songs, dancing, cuddling, reading books, painting, drawing, playing, riding bikes, learning to skip rope, running around, and just having fun.

 

This is not a good time to be regimenting children and teaching basics which are better and more quickly taught in Kindergarten or even first grade.

 

Just my opinion.:001_smile:

[Sahamamama]

I think it depends on more than just the child. IMO, I think it depends more on the parent(s), the finances, the daily logistics of getting there and back, and the family's support system in general.

 

When all my friends were putting their little three year olds into preschools, we did not have the finances to do the same for our three year old. We also had one year old twins, no van (thus, I could not go anywhere with all three without another adult taking another car), and my husband left for work every morning by 4:30 am. There was no question in our minds that we would not be going out the door for preschool.

 

What I realized was that we could do preschool at home, supplement with outside activities on weekends, and save our energy for more important things (such as parenting). EVEN IF we had the money, the van, and a wonderful local preschool, by the time we'd all get out the door in the early morning, drive there, drop off, come home, hang out a bit, load up again a few hours later, drive there, pick up, come home, and wind down -- all that seemed to be more than I wanted (or needed) to do with three babies. Add to that the likely increase in sickness and doctor visits, add to that being tied in to the school's schedule, add to that the fact that my oldest daughter was truly happy and healthy and learning at home....

 

It seemed to me that I could put all that effort into a colorful, playful preschool at home, and leave the out-the-door preschool rat race to other (more put-together) people. :tongue_smilie:Also, I really am such a non-conformist.

 

One interesting observation about my never-schooled children: They really are different from children who have been in a group-school setting. I never realized this, because at church they fit right in and enjoy their classes. But one day this past summer, we were taking in a puppet show at the local public library. The puppeteer introduced herself, then instructed the children to do a series of motions -- "Touch your head, tap your nose, put your arms UP, put your arms DOWN, flap like a bird, put your hands together, put your hands apart, put your fingers in your ears,,....." and on and on.

 

ALL. ALL. ALL the children in that room -- even some adults -- did every single motion, no matter how unexplained, meaningless, or ridiculous it might have been. It was eye-opening for me, to see how robotic they were. :001_huh:

 

But there were three small children in that room who did not do the motions. They sweetly sat and looked around, politely folded their hands in their laps, and smiled. They did not see the point of doing nonsense, and they were completely at peace.

 

Guess who?

Edited January 2, 2011 by Sahamamama

[Erica in PA]

I voted "other" because there are so many factors. For a child who is going to go to traditional school, preschool can help them get ready for what is expected of them in kindergarten, although a parent could do those things at home with the child too. I would be reluctant to send most children who are going to be homeschooled to preschool, because there is a very much excitement and preparation for traditional school in most preschools, and I wouldn't want my child being geared up for something he/she won't be doing, and risk the child being disappointed about homeschooling. There are some situations where I would still consider preschool, but very cautiously and only if the benefits outweigh the negatives. I definitely don't think preschool is a must for any child.

[Sahamamama]

I didn't answer the post because it depends upon more than just the child. My older two kids went to preschool for a year when they were 3. It's a good age for a preschooler to get out of the house a few hours for a couple of times a week. It's especially good for moms who don't get a break any other way. It depends greatly upon individual factors. JMO, YMMV, etc.

 

:iagree:I really, really agree with this. ;) Part of our decision to preschool-at-home was because my parents live one mile away. :seeya:We can practically wave at them from the front porch, LOL.

 

I have friends living here without ANY family, and let me tell you, I feel so sorry for them. One friend nearly lost her mind when her husband was sent to China ("only for a few days") for work, and got stuck there for WEEKS. It was horrible, but she was such a trooper.

 

My girls have been so blessed to spend time with their grandparents, cousins, As & Us, and us (of course), but not every family has that support built-in. Preschool can be a safety net for some families.

 

I'm not against it, we just didn't (and couldn't) do it.

[Mynyel]

I would say it depends, not on the child but the situation. For instance, we (at the time) had our dd in preschool/daycare. We both needed to work full time and we were working the same shift. It was needed, we didn't like it but we did it.

My sister sticks their kids in daycare (mind you I said daycare *NOT* preschool, this is a daycare in someones home she sends them to, no educational value and just a couple other kids) 20 hours a week (her kids are 3 and 1) and she doesn't work, she is a stay at home mom. She needs a break from her kids she says well yea but 20 hours? While I don't say anything because it isn't my life, I don't agree with that. She always wonders why her kids are sick.

Humph and she says she wants to homeschool too.:glare: Right.

Edited January 2, 2011 by Mynyel

[catz]

This time is an age of wonder that quickly passes and you can never have it back. It is a wonderful time for you little one to play at helping you with chores, baking, taking walks, telling stories, singing songs, dancing, cuddling, reading books, painting, drawing, playing, riding bikes, learning to skip rope, running around, and just having fun.

 

This is not a good time to be regimenting children and teaching basics which are better and more quickly taught in Kindergarten or even first grade.

 

Just my opinion.:001_smile:

 

Neither of my kid's preschools did ANY academics. They did exactly the kinds of things you listed above. Neither of their preschools were day cares either. They were 3 mornings a week for 2 1/2 hours designed for children home full time with their parents and run by people who love children.

 

I think it's wonderful if parents don't send their kids to preschool and can provide all the stimulation their child needs at these high energy ages. But a carefully choosen preschool can be a wonderful thing for both the child and the adult. Both my kids still talk about their preschool teachers and how wonderful they were and it definitely didn't hurt their behavior. My oldest went to 2 years of regular public school and I would agree with the comments as they apply to PS and maybe some more institutional style day care set ups. My own niece and nephew attend a daycare I wouldn't let my kids set foot in.

[Dmmetler]

My DD needed to learn some group social skills and how to "pull herself back" a little and realize that, no, most 3 yr olds aren't reading Magic Treehouse, but they do know Cinderella. Playdates, by themselves, weren't doing it because she could just wait it out. But part-time preschool, in a non-academic, play-based setting, made a major difference, and I can see it in her social interactions with other children now.

 

I do regret sending her to full day K, though-that was a wasted year. Not enough time for the social that she needed/craved, and too much time on academics she'd mastered at age 2.

[Nicole M]

I didn't answer the post because it depends upon more than just the child. My older two kids went to preschool for a year when they were 3. It's a good age for a preschooler to get out of the house a few hours for a couple of times a week. It's especially good for moms who don't get a break any other way. It depends greatly upon individual factors. JMO, YMMV, etc.

 

Absolutely. I have a hard time believing that it's an accident that the concept of preschool developed at a time in western culture when families became increasingly cut off from each other, when grandparents, aunts & uncles started disappearing from the everyday lives of children. We have no family within 2,000 miles of us, and those two hours two days a week that my son was playing with other children were a godsend to me.

 

With my younger son, we did have a very bad preschool experience. I think there are some very whacked, subtly abusive people who are drawn to certain philosophies of education (ironically, this one I'm thinking of in particular, prides itself on being "gentle"). So, yes, preschool can be a bad idea. As with many things, research is important, and a variety of factors come into play.

[Dawn in OH]

I think preschool can be good for children who don't live in an environment where they are getting academic or social enrichment.

 

:iagree:

[Nicole M]

Preschools as most seem run are little more than tiny prisons for small children. Montessori is better in that the children are allowed to pick and choose what they do but for those under the age of 6 they really need to have a lot of time just playing and exploring the world around them.

 

This time is an age of wonder that quickly passes and you can never have it back. It is a wonderful time for you little one to play at helping you with chores, baking, taking walks, telling stories, singing songs, dancing, cuddling, reading books, painting, drawing, playing, riding bikes, learning to skip rope, running around, and just having fun.

 

This is not a good time to be regimenting children and teaching basics which are better and more quickly taught in Kindergarten or even first grade.

 

Just my opinion.:001_smile:

 

Now this is interesting! I went to a Montessori preschool in the 1970 in California. I remember cavernous rooms filled with running children, noise and total chaos. My only two memories are of a teacher wearing a pink dress trying to lure me out from under a table and of escaping out to sit on the curb of a very busy street screaming for my papa to come get me, until the pink lady brought me inside. My home life was emotionally chaotic, and I would have thrived in an environment where I knew what to expect, and adults were not completely random (re: dangerous). For some children, preschool can be a haven. Again, it really depends on many factors. The philosophy behind a program may or may not be fully realized, appropriately. In theory, I love Montessori, but obviously did not have a good experience.

[Desert Rat]

I voted that it depends on the child. With my oldest, I put him in preschool because he was reacting badly to the birth of his baby brother and I, well, I honestly just needed the dang break. We knew we were going to homeschool him from the time he was about 2, when he started reading. By 4, when he entered preschool, he was reading at a 5th grade level (the headmistress tested him). We let him be a kid and have fun in preschool. Then, we brought him home. It was good for him. Great for me.

With my younger son, I continually asked him if he wanted to attend preschool. He always said no. I trusted him; he never went. I feel a little like he missed something, but he doesn't. That's what is most important.

HTH

[6packofun]

I voted "Other": Depends on the *parent(s)*. I think preschool is beneficial to kids with parents who, for whatever reason, can't give enough to their kiddos. Those kids should also probably go to school as well, though. Otherwise, I don't think preschool makes or breaks a child's educational success in life so I don't think it's necessary or beneficial, per se.

[Ellie]

Which is a nice ideal situation. Not everyone lives close to family. I lived in Germany when my girls were little, around 3,000 miles from any grandparents. My dh worked until 9 pm every night. It sucked for me because I had no help whatsoever. We had a fabulous neighborhood preschool that they attended twice a week for 3 hours. It didn't kill them, it gave me a break.

We didn't have grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles...no family. I wasn't saying that it's necessary to have extended family. We only had our church "family," which wasn't all that great, but it is why I had no qualms about allowing my dc to be in the church nursery--a break for me (no one I knew kept their dc with them during church, anyway).

 

I might have allowed my dc to attend preschool as yours did under similar circumstances.:)