Babies, eggs, and a Cultural issue...

[Heather in Neverland]

My daughter is Indian. Her ahma (nanny) is Indian also. We love it because she speaks to the baby in Tamil all day and Natalie is already picking it up along with english.

 

Our ahma loves Natalie like her own daughter and we feel blessed to have such a woman caring for our daughter. She even calls on the weekends to see how the baby is doing, buys her gifts, etc. I say all that so you know how much we love this woman and how much she loves Natalie.

 

BUT

 

The Indian culture as well as the ahma herself does things differently than we do. Most of it is little stuff... old wives tales, etc., no big deal.

 

The ahma started giving Natalie eggs at about 9 months which is ok at least according to what I have read. And we have had no problems so it appears that she is not allergic to eggs.

 

But today I was home from work when the ahma gave Natalie her egg and what I did NOT know was that she gives them to her nearly raw. It is more raw than sunny-side-up...like just barely seared...

 

My instinct was to tell her not to feed the baby raw eggs but I am trying to be careful because I do not want to offend her...and yet I obviously want what is best for the baby. The ahma swears that all the Indian mothers do this to keep the baby healthy.

 

So all day I have been waffling...is it a big deal or not a big deal? She has obviously being doing this for 3 months now and there have been no adverse effects. Am I being paranoid? Is there anything wrong with giving a 1 year old raw eggs?

 

What should I do?

[kewb]

Are they fresh eggs from a local chicken? If so, then I wouldn't worry about it. If it really makes you uncomfortable just tell her that you appreciate what she is doing but you are not comfortable with it and you are asking her to respect your wishes.

[mcconnellboys]

I wouldn't worry too much about free-range eggs. Eggs that we have here in the U.S. from those mega-brooderies are often contaminated with bacteria because of the crowded andn unnatural conditions they're in. Natural eggs in a natural environment have been okay for milennia and should continue to be okay now....

[Dawn in OH]

I wouldn't worry too much about free-range eggs. Eggs that we have here in the U.S. from those mega-brooderies are often contaminated with bacteria because of the crowded andn unnatural conditions they're in. Natural eggs in a natural environment have been okay for milennia and should continue to be okay now....

 

I agree with this. But if you are really uncomfortable with it, discuss your concerns with her.

[SonshineLearner]

Our bodies get use to what we eat :) Have you heard of babies there getting sick? Could you ask a local DR what they think? Eggs are great for you, it seems like she likes them :) Does your nanny speak fluent English? If so, you could ask that she cook them a bit more so that she'll not be confused with how you're use to cooking them... without making it a "health risk" thing... :) (so as not to offend :))

 

:)

[Audrey]

I wouldn't worry too much about free-range eggs. Eggs that we have here in the U.S. from those mega-brooderies are often contaminated with bacteria because of the crowded andn unnatural conditions they're in. Natural eggs in a natural environment have been okay for milennia and should continue to be okay now....

 

 

:iagree:

[Mabelen]

My dh is Tamil and they do things differently, including what the mom to be eats or does while pregnant etc. Every culture is like that to some extent.

 

I would talk to your nanny and voice your concerns. I would just discuss it with her as in you guys both want the best for the little one and see what you come up with.

 

Ultimately though you are the mom and after honest and open discussion your decision should prevail since you are ultimately responsible for your daughter.

 

By the way, I didn't know the Tamil word for nanny is the same as for mother! Unless... I am wondering, is the word ahma for nanny used added at the end of the nanny's first name? A bit like paati is paternal grandmother on its own but SoAndSo paati is the paternal grandmother's sister? Just wondering!

[Rosie_0801]

It wouldn't worry me, but we always licked the beaters, raw egg and all, when we were kids and Mum was making cake :D That aside, I think it's too late to worry about it if she's been doing it for 3 months already. Sometimes you have to shrug your shoulders and pretend to yourself that you don't know about it.

 

Rosie

[pqr]

I would not worry, but if you are then do not discuss your concerns as some have indicated. She works for you.....tell her. It is your child and your wishes are the only ones that count. This is also a cultural more', your maid does what you tell her. If you start getting into "discussions" you lose an aspect of the employer employee relationship.

[redsquirrel]

I would talk to her about it. If you don't want her to feed her undercooked eggs I would tell her that and don't appologize. It won't be the only thing that ever comes up. Trust me. Think of this as practice for something bigger. If you can't deal with this, then you will be in big trouble later on.

 

And, I would find pasturized eggs. They are in the shell, they are just like regular eggs but they have been irradiated. They are safe to eat raw or undercooked. They cost a little more but the peace of mind is worth it. You still have to talk to her, though.

 

I am not squeemish about raw egg. I let my 5 year old lick the beaters. But no way would I let a 9 month old eat undercooked egg. Just no.

[Unicorn.]

Actually, I am more concerned by this

 

 

She even calls on the weekends to see how the baby is doing, buys her gifts, etc.

 

QUOTE]

 

I'm not sure why, but this sends up red flags for me. I think she needs to understand that YOU are the mother, and YOU decide what's best for YOUR baby. Really, I don't know why, but I read this and just got a bad feeling. I'm usually not paranoid- really.

[RoughCollie]

I think the baby comes before any cultural issues, as obviously do you. I have no knowledge about the safety of raw eggs in Malaysia.

 

When the boys were infants, we had an RN for 8 hours every night who was from an African country. I stopped her from giving the babies a cold bath before they went to sleep for the night. She explained to me how this was done in her country by Every Mother because it helped the babies sleep.

 

Not my babies! I didn't care one whit about cultural issues. I stood my ground. She thought I was wrong. I decided that she could not be trusted to not give the babies a cold bath at night (behind my back). I called the agency and told them never to send her to me again.

 

The issue here is whether the eggs are safe. If you decide they are not, then your caregiver must do as you say. If you decide they are, then there is no need to rock the boat.

Edited December 22, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Lawana]

You could always chalk it up to "we're crazy Americans, and my mother would freak if you gave her eggs cooked like that."

 

It's weird, but my exposure to Indians cooking eggs was quite the opposite. After the eggs were "done," I thought they would make good substitutes for rubber balls.

[keptwoman]

Actually, I am more concerned by this

 

 

She even calls on the weekends to see how the baby is doing, buys her gifts, etc.

 

 

 

I'm not sure why, but this sends up red flags for me. I think she needs to understand that YOU are the mother, and YOU decide what's best for YOUR baby. Really, I don't know why, but I read this and just got a bad feeling. I'm usually not paranoid- really.

My understanding is that nannies and housekeepers in Asian countries are often practically part of the family, and for that reason I see no issue with her calling on weekends, she obviously loves the baby and that is wonderful!

Edited December 22, 2010 by keptwoman

[Heather in Neverland]

Actually, I am more concerned by this

 

 

 

My understanding is that nannies and housekeepers in Asian countries are often practically part of the family, and for that reason I see no issue with her calling on weekends, she obviously loves the baby and that is wonderful!

 

This is absolutely true. She is not "just" a maid/nanny to us...she is practically family. She worries about the baby, she buys her gifts (even on her very limited income), etc. And we bring her to family events and we are spending Christmas Eve with her family at her house.

 

This is why "not offending her" is more than an employer/employee relationship issue. Sure, I could hire someone else. But would that person LOVE my daughter? Or just take minimal care of her? I have had bad nannies in the past so I definitely appreciate a good one when I find one.

 

Part of me thinks after 3 months, it's probably no big deal. If the baby was allergic to eggs or if the eggs we buy were contaminated, something would have happened by now. I think I may ask her to cook them at least a little more...maybe I can blame it on the doctor?:D

 

Thanks for the advice!!!

 

 

oh and "ahma" is the term used for "mom" and "nanny" and even "maid" here. Go figure. :tongue_smilie:

[Chris in VA]

Each egg is an "individual" thing--I can't phrase this correctly--

The risk from bacteria, if there is one, doesn't diminish over time. It only takes one bad egg, literally! The body's immunity response may get better, tho--but the risk of there being bacteria is the same every time. I think. :001_smile:

 

I doubt she'd be offended if you told her you were uncomfortable with giving her undercooked eggs (of course, don't say "undercooked" but use another term!). After all, you aren't offended by her tradition, you just don't agree with it. She knows you are the mom. She'll just chalk it up to difference in tradition, just like you do. She's going to accept your "craziness."

 

I'm so glad you found someone so loving, and that you are culturally aware, too.

[phathui5]

I would not worry, but if you are then do not discuss your concerns as some have indicated. She works for you.....tell her. It is your child and your wishes are the only ones that count. This is also a cultural more', your maid does what you tell her. If you start getting into "discussions" you lose an aspect of the employer employee relationship.

 

:iagree:

 

Yup. You don't discuss choices with an employee; you let them know.

[Carol in Cal.]

I wouldn't worry about it.

 

Raw eggs were considered pretty OK if fresh until the last couple of decades. The reason for the change is that now in the US chickens are literally raised on top of each other--cages with wire mesh bottoms are stacked, and so excrement rains down on lower ones. Egg shells are semi-permeable, and these nasty conditions lead to serious contamination that can be dangerous.

 

But traditionally, the filling for French silk pie, Caesar dressing, egg nog, egg cream shakes, uncooked puddings, and many other dishes included raw eggs routinely. I grew up eating cookie dough and mixed, uncooked hamburger meat in little dabs here and there, and even with the bad eggs today I have never gotten sick.

 

I would not worry about this if you have a free range source of eggs and they are pretty fresh. In fact, they might have been vitamins if they are uncooked.

[rafiki]

.

[jld]

Hey, your dd and my ds2 have something in common -- learning Tamil!

 

But I fired my driver four months ago and now he only hears it from the cleaning lady and the workers in the complex, so I really don't know how it's going to turn out. But he calls me ama and dh apa, so I think something must be sticking, lol.

[Carol in Cal.]

Oh, wow, That scares the heck out of me! My oldest ate eggs when he was little, however he was helping me bake muffins when he was ~ 2.5. I turned to put the muffins in the oven, he dipped his finger in the raw batter and licked it. Within moments he was having an anaphylactic reaction that I can still remember like it was yesterday. We avoid egg in all forms after that for 7.5 years, then he had an in office oral challenge for egg, which he failed (broke out in hives) after consuming 1/24th of cooked egg in a muffin! I wouldn't take a chance.

 

But that's different--it's an allergy. Heather is talking about infection, and I'm thinking that it's a non-issue virtually.