How do you do this

[MomSchool5]

My 6 year old daughter is driving me crazy!!! My other children were already reading when I started homeschooling. I have never taught a child to read. I love reading and taught English to seniors and college students. She is 61/2 and ending her kindergarten year. I'm sure she is normal, but I have no patience as she struggles to sound out words and then sees the same word and has to sound it out again. Can't she remember. I dread reading time with her as I get frustrated, then she gets frustrated. It is awful. She is using Saxon phonics and we only have 10 more lessons. She can do word lists all day long and sound them out. But give her a real sentence with words: The cat sat in the hat and she cries and takes FOREVER, then I get mad... I should have sent her to kindergarten and then started homeschooling her when she knew how to read. This is so frustrating!!!

 

Mara

[Guest HSMom5]

then I get mad...

 

That's really unfortunate.

 

Your daughter, actually sounds quite normal for MANY 6 year olds, as you most likely already know this. The problem lies then with you. :chillpill: :chillpill:

 

:grouphug:

[hsmom]

Have you tried http://starfall.com or hooked on phonics?

 

Also just take a deep breath, and it will come. Some are slower than others. I know my oldest is. Yes, it is frustrating at times, but the end result of your patience will pay off later.

[TracyR]

First take a deep , deep breath and let it all out . I have taught my two oldest to read and am starting in with my 3rd here. Each child learns to read at a difference speed and pace . My oldest was about 7 when it finally started to click a bit and even then she has struggled . Her reading really has not taken off until now and she is in 4th grade this year . My 2nd daughter learned to read in a record time at age 4.5. I almost thought I was doing something wrong she learned so quickly . But that is just her. She is 8 and is reading at almost a 4th grade level and she has short term memory problems . Must of just been how her brain was wired . My 3rd daughter is sort of picking it up but its going to be a slow process with her I think.

 

Actually my favorite programs for teaching reading are 100 Easy Lessons or The Reading Lessons . 100 Easy lessons is more geared to the parent who doesn't have a clue where to start , this program I used with my 2nd daughter and she just flew threw it . I had the program from her older sister and decided to use it though I Have The Reading Lessons as well . I used both so I was able to flip flop both programs with her with no problems .

Anyways I digress here. Some children do this . My niece still does this and she is 6 as well . For me teaching them how to sound out the word is the first step . Then after they have the ability to decode words then its time to tell them . Now you can say this word fast without having to sound it out. For that I've made flashcards or I just show them how to sound out the word then I say ' Now say this word fast . " If they aren't able to I just show them . This is how you sound out cat - c-a-t , now you can say this word fast , cat . Reading just takes time for some children .

B&M schools mostly teach children to read by using the whole words method . I haven't really heard of many schools that use the phonics approach anymore . Even though I'm an excellent reader I only remember a little bit of phonics in 1st grade (what sound does the picture start with type phonics ) and that was it .

Children learn to memorize the words . Saxon uses the phonics approach which in a way is good too . I'm with the belief that both work well together really .

 

I would just really put the books away . Read to her . Give her a little more time to absorb the stuff she has learned ( okay this is hard to do but it works , I had to give in and do this with my oldest :>) . When you read run your finger across the words you are showing her how to read . Then in a few months . Pick up the subject again . Using 100 Easy Lessons , The Reading Lessons , some here like the Ordinary Guide and then try it again . I also like the Bob Books to practice . Because practice makes perfect .

 

I know with my sister who brought her son home he wasn't quite reading yet , but picked up reading very quickly. My neice is another story my sister to is ready to pluck her eye balls out . But really in the end your daughter will get it :> )

[Suzanne in ABQ]

First of all, you breathe in. Then, you breathe out. Then you repeat as often as necessary.

 

Then, you curl up on the couch with your sweet little girl, and set the timer for 10 minutes (or 15, or as many as you can handle before you start "losing it".)

 

Then, you remind yourself, "You can't push a string. You can't push a string."

 

There is no way to force this concept into your dd's brain. You can't squish it in. You can't cram it in. You certainly can't bash it in. All you can do is continue to drip it in, a little at a time, every day. When her eyes glaze over, then you stop. You can pick it up again later in the day, or the next day, but it will be futile to keep trying to "make" her blend and remember once her mind is "saturated". You just pause for a time, and then come back and practice some more.

 

You can make up (or buy) different ways to practice that are more fun, and more less tedious than looking at the same page day after day. You can make games with index cards (matching, go fish, etc.) You can make a BINGO game (or you can buy one). You can use letter tiles (or make your own). There are a few descriptions of how to make games here

 

You could try making up some sentences more frequently, using the words in her list. Just have a piece of paper handy, and watch for little sentences that "pop up" from the words on her list. Don't wait for the book to create them for you.

 

I promise you she'll get it. She'll figure out how to blend the words, and she'll remember the words. She'll start reading sentences. Slowly at first, but progressively faster. She will. I promise. :001_smile: It's very rewarding. I love that my kids can read, and that I taught them. It feels good.

 

You're doing fine. It's hard to know how much to expect from your first (or the first you've taught any given thing). She's normal. You'll get through it, on her time table. You're fine.

[SnowWhite]

At this stage, I went to the library to the Easy Reader section and got some PreK level readers. Mercer Mayer's Little Critter, I think, was our first one. It is so much fun and the words are so easy that ds forgot it was supposed to be hard.

[Jenny in Atl]

It took my oldest forever to learn to read well. You would never have guessed now that at 12 she reads on a college level. She would know a word and then forget it by the next line.

 

Just know that this is normal and all of a sudden, when you least expect it, something will connect, and she will take off. The one this is not to make it seem like she is doing anything wrong. Listen to good books on audio. Read to her and point to the words you are reading. Have her read a line and then you read a line. Play with the words, make it fun and not a chore. It will get better. :grouphug:

[Shasta Mom]

I would tend to follow advice already given and just relax about it. With my first dc I (as many parents of first children do) promoted early reading and worked with my dc. Then, over the last few years I met several unschooling families who waited until their dc wanted to read (frequently around age 9), and found that within six months, the children were reading college-aged texts. So with dc#2, I don't promote it at all, and when she asks me questions we work on what she's interested in. I also support the advice of prioritizing reading aloud to her............................Best of luck, and relax and look at her and be thankful......

[Anne]

All the advice you've been given so far is great!

 

I wonder if it would help *you* if you could DO something while you're listening to her sounding out ~ knit, fold laundry, wash dishes, whatever. I often find that doing something with my hands really reduces my frustration level...

 

Anne

[Ohio12]

My oldest is just like your daughter. I couldn't believe that she had to keep sounding out "frog" even when there was a picture of a frog right there on the page! My two best friends' daughters taught themselves to read and it was so hard not to compare. It took my daughter a full nine months to get it. It was hard to be patient sometimes, but I tried to remind myself that if I made reading a difficult or stressful or negative thing in her mind, it could impact her desire to learn and read for the rest of her life. I do think I was pretty patient and she is a great reader now. I used The Ordinary Parents Guide and we worked on it for 10-15 minutes a day for almost year.

[Kate in VA]

I completely understand!!!!! I went through the exact same thing with my DD at that age .... There were days when I just wanted to pop her little head off

!!!!!:willy_nilly:

 

However, I decided to take a break.... I put it all away for awhile. My daughter was about the exact age as yours. We stopped for about 4 months if I remember correctly.

Then we continued where we left off (pathway readers) and she as been doing great ever since.... just a two days ago she picked up a Magic Tree House book and she has been reading that (with a little help from me) and she doesn't want to stop!:D.... She is reading 2 chapters a day and she is LOVING IT!!!!

 

It will work out! I promise, if you have to put it off for a while then do that and focus on other things... Read aloud every chance you get and just relax!!!!! It will all work out.....:grouphug:

 

HTH's,

Kate

[Kate in Arabia]

Hi Mara, my ds 6 is also an "emerging reader". My first ds (now 10) took to reading like a fish to water at 4.5, so it has been a real adjustment for me with this one! We finished 100 Easy Lessons at the beginning of the year. With my older, by the time we were at lesson 60 or so he was off and flying. My second one, however, is coming along at a much slower pace.

 

We have a variety of early reader books, I alternate easier books with harder ones. He reads every day, his choice how much or little, but at least 5 minutes. I help him however much he needs, and yes sometimes it is repeating the same word for him that appears on just about every page, lol.

 

For sure it can get frustrating, but as someone who learned a foreign language with a different writing script as an adult, I can 100% identify with how hard it is to get your brain to connect knowledge of what the letters are with fluent reading. It can be extremely frustrating for the reader.

 

One thing that helped with motivating my ds was that he has a book journal. For every book he finishes, whether it is a Bob book or something longer, I print out a coloring page of a picture from the book that he colors, and either traces or copies the title of the book at the top. He has a binder he keeps all his pages in, and especially in the beginning it was very exciting to him to have a physical reflection of his accomplishments.

 

hth!

 

Kate

[cricket1178]

I haven't read all the posts, but I wanted to encourage you. My dd was my first dc I taught to read and I remember being frustrated and not having a lot of patience. But, then I had a very wise woman from these boards tell me that "reading would come". I calmed down and let the natural course of reading take place. I like the idea of setting the timer, we did that. It really does help. Keep things in perspective, too. She is only 6. I can still find myself getting too impatient with my dd at times. When we are doing math, science, grammar. I have to remind myself that I'm more mature and she is doing her best. She doesn't have my ability, yet, to put all the pieces together. Your 6 yo old doesn't either. When you find yourself getting frustrated, put the books away and have a little fun. Again, she is only 6. You have a lot of time to teach her. Have fun with her for now and the learning will happen naturally.:)

[langfam]

OK, I know this is not going to be popular. Of my 5 children, my youngest struggled with the phonics approach. When we went to whole language approach, his reading took off. We used the Faith and Freedom readers....much like the Dick and Jane books. I use Phonics Pathways now to teach him spelling. He reads really well now and spells just fine...go figure! Actually whole language is the way I learned to read.

[Mandy in TN]

she struggles to sound out words and then sees the same word and has to sound it out again. Can't she remember. I dread reading time with her as I get frustrated, then she gets frustrated. It is awful. She is using Saxon phonics and we only have 10 more lessons. She can do word lists all day long and sound them out. But give her a real sentence with words: The cat sat in the hat and she cries and takes FOREVER, then I get mad... I should have sent her to kindergarten and then started homeschooling her when she knew how to read. This is so frustrating!!!

 

Mara

 

I have 3 boys 17, 14, and 5.

 

The second ds didn't learn to read until he was nearly 7, but in a single sitting if I were to say "the cat in the hat" he could repeat it for the rest of the book. This didn't mean that he would remember it the next day, but in a single sitting he could remember from one page to the next. He has a fall birthday and at the end of the summer before he entered 1st grade and turned 7 everything suddenly just clicked.

 

3rd ds will be 6 in the fall. He knows his letter sounds and has memorized lots of words, but he is still an emergent reader. He often needs help sounding out words, but in a single sitting of a Nora Gaydos book once I tell him a word he (like the second ds before him) can read it on subsequent pages.

 

The only one that presented the behavior that you are describing was my oldest ds. If we were to read The Cat in the Hat, every time that he saw the phrase "the cat in the hat" it was like he had never seen the words before. Yes, even with the cat right there on the page! I felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall and he was even more upset than I was. He is gifted dyslexic and learning to read was very frustrating for him. With outside help (he went to an LD school for 2nd grade) and the right program (an additional 2 years of Riggs at another school) he became an avid reader. 5th grade was the first year that he was homeschooled.

 

If it doesn't click by fall and it is still this frustrating for her, I would suggest looking into an orton-gillingham approach like Riggs or Preventing Academic Failure. Also, go with your gut instinct. If you feel like her reading skill is not lining up with her ability/ desire then, don't waste time, change to a different program now.

 

A different response-

Mandy

[Sunkirst]

Gosh, I know how you feel!:banghead:

 

My oldest took until he was almost 10 before things started to click for him. (He is mildly dyslexic - not attributing that to your dd!!!)

 

It's not you.

 

It's not your daughter.

 

It's just time.

 

If you're losing patience now, stop for a while.

I don't know if you're open to Waldorf methodology, but they suggest working on whole body and fine motor skills, if a child isn't ready to read. Things like learning to knit, skipping, jumping rope, pogo stick, cat's cradle, balance beam, juggling, tumbling... It seemed ludicrous to me when we started, but after taking a break of 3 months in which we focused on those sorts of things, he jumped about 1.5 grade levels (I read to him during that time - he did not read at all). I saw another huge jump when he started with martial arts. Something about learning to use your body helping to mature the mind.

 

Another thing that helped was a book called Teach a Child to Read with Children's Books by Mark Thogmartin. This involves starting with very simple books (not phonics readers) that have a high degree of similarity between story and pictures. Each day the child reads (tracking with finger) an old book and a new book. Each day the parent teaches a phonics skill that occurs in the book, as well as a sight word. It is important to note what you have taught, so that you can both progress and circle back. The child reads the books until they are memorized, and sometimes you bring them back. Thogmartin's book has a list of leveled books. I found this method helpful, 'cause most of the books were simple and helped build confidence, and this helped me keep my cool.:D We also did fun phonics drills on top of this, as my ds needs large amounts of repetition. (PM me if you'd like the book, I no longer need it.)

 

Let her brain have some beauty sleep, and don't feel like you're being a bad mom. You will both emerge refreshed and with a new perspective.

[Leila]

This is only my opinion. The problem with some parents that I see is that they tend to compare their children with others. And when their children does less of what others do they think that there is something wrong with their kids. Reading for example comes to a kid who is ready to read. You can only guide them and try too teach them phonics but in the end they read or learn to read when they are ready. I think as long as you read to them at an early age and continue to read to them, eventually they will grasp the elements of reading. Don't worry too much. If your child gets frustrated, stop the lesson or reading. It will never bring any good to her or you. Don't force her either, some kids when they are being force to do something, they back away and starts to hate doing it.

[MomSchool5]

My boys were reading whatever they wanted in 1st grade... But they were in ps, so I feel like I am ruining her by homeschooling her... Plus everyone in my family are teachers including my mil and sis who and half the other members of the family who are career 3rd grade teachers or 1st grade teachers who I feel are looking at me wondering if I am doing it right.

 

Mara

[kls126s]

Plus everyone in my family are teachers including my mil and sis who and half the other members of the family who are career 3rd grade teachers or 1st grade teachers who I feel are looking at me wondering if I am doing it right.

 

That's probably part of the problem right there - you feel like you have to prove yourself. I know at times I've felt the exact same way, so when they aren't getting something, I have felt like it's making me look bad as a teacher. That's not a switch you can just shut off, but recognizing it might help you try to disconnect from that. As mothers we always try not to dump our "stuff" on our kids, and homeschooling is no different.

[whitestavern]

I was having similar problems with my 5yo ds. Every time we came to a word he would have to sound it out...he just wasn't very fluid. I started using Progressive Phonics and it has made a world of difference! First of all, they start out just reading certain words in a short story, based on a specific phonics rule. The parent reads the other words. So it goes faster and is less frustrating for both mom and child. Secondly, they become so much more fluent and quickly. We always do a few pages of PP and then will read an early reader book. He's now reading so much more fluidly. You can download free ebooks on their website, although you will need to purchase the whole program if you want it. But I was able to sample it with my son before purchasing. Best of luck to you!

[Jenny in Florida]

. . . I gain yet more appreciation for just how tough it is. There are days when I can't believe anyone ever does it!

 

That said, I second what others have mentioned. Take deep breaths. Calm down. Back off a little bit. Your daughter is pretty young.

 

My daughter was reading competently and independently at 5.5. It didn't come easily to her, and I well remember the tedium and frustration of watching and listening to her try to get through a single page of a children's picture book. She would painfully sound out each word, one letter at a time, then make it to the end of the sentence and not remember what she had read. But she was determined to learn, so we kept plugging away.

 

We we did was set aside a brief time every afternoon when we would cuddle up on the couch and spend no more than 15 minutes or so working on her current book. Once that was done, I'd read aloud to her for a while.

 

Then, we'd come back and do it again the next day.

 

And, once she turned the corner, it was like magic. She went from taking 15 minutes to get through a sentence to reading Harry Potter in six months.

 

So, I figured I must have done something right. In fact, people used to call and e-mail me and ask me for my "secret."

 

Then, along comes my son. At five, he had no interest in learning to read.

 

At six, he wanted to read, but was still just sounding out single words.

 

When he was six and a half, I started doing the cuddle-on-the-couch thing with him, and it was a nightmare. It felt like it took forEVER to accomplish anything. By the time we were done with one page of a simple learn-to-read book, he would run like a bolt and I was exhausted.

 

Then, he turned the corner. He decided he wanted to read Frog and Toad, and he did. Then, he demanded more books like that, and I did my best to find them. Then, he just demanded more books.

 

By the time he was seven and a half, he'd read through the first five Harry Potter books and the entire Narnian series and a whole lot more.

 

So, I guess the moral of the story is that, unless you have some reason to suspect a problem, the reality is that you just have to keep quietly and calmly plugging away and waiting for the light bulb to go off over their heads. There's no firm timetable, and stressing out (or stressing out the kiddo) just makes it harder.

 

Keep making reading fun. Keep telling her you know she can do it. Keep telling her you understand it's hard but that she's smart. Keep telling her how cool it is, how the world opens up once you learn.

 

She'll get there.

[runningirl71]

. . . I gain yet more appreciation for just how tough it is. There are days when I can't believe anyone ever does it!

 

 

:iagree: My daughter is 10 now and it seemed like it took her FOREVER to read and only this year has she really taken off and loves it.

 

We were living in the Korean Autonomous Region in China at the time I taught her to read. She was actually going to a Korean school, and approaching first grade. I KNEW she had to read in Korean starting in 1st (many Koreans start teaching their kids to read at 3, so everyone in her class already pretty much knew . . . )but I wanted her to learn to read in her native tongue first. She has been a late bloomer in many areas of academia, and looking back I can see she was just too young, but I had a goal and a good reason to be teaching her, but it was SO frustrating! I would ride the school bus up to her preschool with her and we would do reading lesson on the bus. If it weren't for doing it in public with her, I don't know if I would have kept my calm!

 

LOL! Breathe in, breathe out . . . I love it! :grouphug:

[Lovedtodeath]

I only read the first few replies. My DD went through a stage like that. I stopped making her sound out words. But I knew she was smart and I did not want her behind. I was in college to become a K teacher, so the pressure was enormous. I HAD to have her advanced! We quit for a couple of months. I got OPG and went through every rule as fast as I could. No repeat lessons. I crammed all the phonics rules in her head. We had to quit due to family circumstances and we took a break of about 9 months. She already had the rules in her head, even though she was not "clicking" on the sounding out part. Now, as soon as it "clicked" (while we were still on a break) she can read at a 3rd grade level because the other rules were already there. (syllables, blends, long vowels, ing, oy, you name it) So there's another approach for you. :D