DD has chosen to go to public high school

[mom2denj]

I am a little sad today! I have always told my dd that she could choose to stay home or go to high school. Well, she has chosen to go to ps. I am supporting her deicision. I am wondering if anyone here has let their dc go to ps for high school? What was the outcome? Did they like it, love it or did they come back home? (Not that I am secretly hoping that she will want to come home or anything :001_smile:)

[katemary63]

My DD19 decided to go to PS for high school after homeschooling 6-8th grades. She attended 9th and 1/2 of 10th before deciding to come back home. Her reasons: 1. terrible education, she said she could teach herself better (and she did), 2. Immoral atmosphere. She couldn't stand all the nasty talk. It's really bad, I'm telling you. She's not so delicate she can't take a few swear words. Most ps high school's are over the top immoral - swearing every other word, total disrespect for adults, constant talk about sex. (Not to mention the ACTUAL sex acts going on in the bathrooms and other places - no exageration!) She was absolutley disgusted! We are small town Arkansas, not big inner city. All the high schools here are about the same. Our nearest bigger town's school (town of 25.000) has an even worse reputation.

 

She came home, taught herself (seriously, I didn't do much of anything) the rest of high school, attended CC her Sr. year and is now a sophomore at the local university and very successful! She wants to be a teacher, believe it or not! But younger ages so as to hopefully influence them for good before it's too late!

Edited December 7, 2010 by katemary63

[clementine]

...Here reasons: 1. terrible education, she said she could teach herself better (and she did), 2. Immoral atmosphere. She couldn't stand all the nasty talk. It's really bad, I'm telling you. She's not so delicate she can't take a few swear words. Most ps high school's are over the top immoral - swearing every other word, total disrespect for adults, constant talk about sex. (Not to mention the ACTUAL sex acts going on in the bathrooms and other places - no exageration!) She was absolutley disgusted!

 

As we approach this dilemma, I know that this is a possibility here too. Ick!!!

[mom2denj]

My DD19 decided to go to PS for high scholl after homeschooling 6-8th grades. She attended 9th and 1/2 of 10th before deciding to come back home. Here reasons: 1. terrible education, she said she could teach herself better (and she did), 2. Immoral atmosphere. She couldn't stand all the nasty talk. It's really bad, I'm telling you. She's not so delicate she can't take a few swear words. Most ps high school's are over the top immoral - swearing every other word, total disrespect for adults, constant talk about sex. (Not to mention the ACTUAL sex acts going on in the bathrooms and other places - no exageration!) She was absolutley disgusted! We are small town Arkansas, not big inner city. All the high schools here are about the same. Our nearest bigger town's school (town of 25.000) has an even worse reputation.

 

She came home, taught herself (seriously, I didn't do much of anything) the rest of high school, attended CC her Sr. year and is now a sophomore at the local university and very successful! She wants to be a teacher, believe it or not! But younger ages so as to hopefully influence them for good before it's too late!

 

Thanks for posting this! With your experience, would you advise me to let her make the decision to go and experience it for herself?

[hana]

My daughter always had the choice. She went for 9th grade, was very popular, was elected class president, had a good time, then came home for her last three years. She felt that while she had a good time, she wasn't learning and was wasting time. She dual-enrolled in community college and went away to college at 17, with a year and a half of credits that transferred.

 

As far as giving her the choice, I think only you can know what works best for your family dynamic and for her best interest.

[LibraryLover]

We've had kids do both. Our high school is failry small and pretty intimate, so it's been a good experience. My 16 yr old was admant about going to HS for the music program, but it's been very nice. He has one more year. I've found the high school atmosphere to be more academically oriented than the local cc, which is OK, but not stellar.

 

My kingdom for more choices.

Edited December 7, 2010 by LibraryLover

[LisaKinVA]

Thanks for posting this! With your experience, would you advise me to let her make the decision to go and experience it for herself?

 

If this is something that has always been stated as her choice, while you could "take it away" -- it raises trust issues with me, and it could your dd. While you are the parent, if this is a decision you have said would be hers, and they make it, and you change your mind and say, "SORRY! You're staying home anyway." It won't sit well.

 

Would something like that sit well with you, if the tables were turned? You show up with a coupon allowing you to "make your own sale" -- choosing either product A or Product B. Both are there, both are available -- you make your choice (A) and arrive at the check-out only to be told, "Oops, sorry -- you can only use the coupon on Product B." You say, "but the coupon says EITHER A OR B." The cashier says, "Well, yes, but we changed our mind, now it's just B." You would be LIVID.

 

Some people will say that you're the parent, you get to decide -- and that is true. But because that decision was placed in your dd's hands it is now a matter of TRUST. Will you stand by your word? Will you stand by your dd's decision?

 

Taking back this decision now will unleash new issues you may not consider. Your dd could rebel in ways you never imagined. She could put up walls and lose respect for you, not believe your word, not trust you during a time she really needs you most. She could get herself into all sorts of problems even at home...

 

FWIW, I know several families in our area who have placed their hs-age dc into public school without regret (or horror stories). I also know some whose dc came home after a year because they preferred the freedom of being at home.

 

For us, we've told our children that we expect we will homeschool through high school, but if we feel that going to a different school is in their best interests we won't hesitate to make that choice. But the only choice we've given them is what college they will attend (assuming they get in, and they can afford it.)

[mom2denj]

I appreciate your feedback. However, I never intended to "take back" her choice to go to ps. I just wondered if the the person who posted would do it differently if she could go back. I guess that I should have worded my question differently. I would never tell her that I have changed my mind. However, I will probably do things different with my now 4 yr old. We will see how ps goes with this dd.:)Thanks!

If this is something that has always been stated as her choice, while you could "take it away" -- it raises trust issues with me, and it could your dd. While you are the parent, if this is a decision you have said would be hers, and they make it, and you change your mind and say, "SORRY! You're staying home anyway." It won't sit well.

 

Would something like that sit well with you, if the tables were turned? You show up with a coupon allowing you to "make your own sale" -- choosing either product A or Product B. Both are there, both are available -- you make your choice (A) and arrive at the check-out only to be told, "Oops, sorry -- you can only use the coupon on Product B." You say, "but the coupon says EITHER A OR B." The cashier says, "Well, yes, but we changed our mind, now it's just B." You would be LIVID.

 

Some people will say that you're the parent, you get to decide -- and that is true. But because that decision was placed in your dd's hands it is now a matter of TRUST. Will you stand by your word? Will you stand by your dd's decision?

 

Taking back this decision now will unleash new issues you may not consider. Your dd could rebel in ways you never imagined. She could put up walls and lose respect for you, not believe your word, not trust you during a time she really needs you most. She could get herself into all sorts of problems even at home...

 

FWIW, I know several families in our area who have placed their hs-age dc into public school without regret (or horror stories). I also know some whose dc came home after a year because they preferred the freedom of being at home.

 

For us, we've told our children that we expect we will homeschool through high school, but if we feel that going to a different school is in their best interests we won't hesitate to make that choice. But the only choice we've given them is what college they will attend (assuming they get in, and they can afford it.)

[anneofalamo]

just a huge thank you for posting this.

we just had this conversation last night with my ds 9th grade. He was pondering the schools, so we looked at the classes he would take at the 3 available to us. He was not impressed.

I just wanted to thank you for posting your hopes, fears and dreams and experiences. This has helped me tremendously!

[Crissy]

My son is in his second year at the public high school and he is thriving.

He takes honors and AP classes, and we are finding that they are, for the most part, challenging and well taught.

 

My husband and I made a point of meeting the principal and other administrators, getting to know them and occasionally just dropping by the office to say, "Hi". Whenever we have had concerns with classes or Jeffrey's progress, we have always had someone who is willing to sit down with us and make sure we come to a resolution that makes everyone happy.

 

I would say that his biggest adjustment was being organized. It took almost half of his sophomore year before he was regularly remembering to write every assignment in his planner and bringing home all the right books so he could study.

 

He's a smart kid, I trust his judgement, and I even like his friends. High school has been a really great experience for him, and I know the years he spent at home helped prepare him for this big step.

[LisaKinVA]

I appreciate your feedback. However, I never intended to "take back" her choice to go to ps. I just wondered if the the person who posted would do it differently if she could go back. I guess that I should have worded my question differently. I would never tell her that I have changed my mind. However, I will probably do things different with my now 4 yr old. We will see how ps goes with this dd.:)Thanks!

 

I'm sorry for misunderstanding... for my folks, there are all sorts of things they wish they could go back and do differently. Me? I'm not old enough to have those kind of regrets with my children...LOL (well, nothing major anyhow.) Well, maybe I'm old enough, but my children aren't!

 

Best wishes with your oldest dd... for me, personally, I wasn't homeschooled until my junior year in high school. It was the best decision I ever made. I did miss a couple of activities, but I didn't miss all of the other stuff that you had to put up with just to have the activities.

[sassenach]

May dd went back this year for 8th grade after hsing 4-7. She plans on going to public hs as well. It's been a truly mixed bag of experiences for her. She is a social creature, so it is filling her in a way that she just wasn't getting at home. She has experienced a lot of negatives, including the suicide of a classmate. For the first time, she is seeing up close just how depraved her peers are, but because we are not Christians who have ever isolated ourselves, she was fully prepared to engage. It turns out that she has the gift of evangelism in a way that surpasses even her father (a pastor). I am so glad that she is in school. She is using spiritual muscles that she never had to use at home. The experience is maturing her in ways that I could have only imagined. It is still hard, no doubt. Academically, she says hsing was harder, but I think she is developing a different set of skills right now. I don't regret sending her, but it definitely hasn't been easy. We prayed for a full year about the decision before we made it. Blessings with your decisions!

[katemary63]

Thanks for posting this! With your experience, would you advise me to let her make the decision to go and experience it for herself?

 

Well, I think that depends on the kid. With DD19, I was never worried that the immorality would rub off on her. Never. She's good. Deep down. She always will be. So at the time we gave her the choice to either put up with the crap or not and she chose not to. But now, we wouldn't do it again and neither would she. But had she stuck it out, it would have been unpleasant, but not harmfull to her, YKWIM?

 

If I were to raise my son over again, I don't think I would have let him go to jr. high. That is where he lost his faith. He was NOT grounded. He found delight in the rebellion and he is still there at age 23 (in rebellion spiritually). I would have protected him longer spiritually.

 

DD9 will never see the inside of a public school. I will not give her the choice. But I honestly don't think she'll ever want to. She is an excellent student, loves me to death and loves homeschool. But even if she wanted to, I don't think I could ever let her go but right now I see her as a small child. I don't know about the future for sure. But honestly, that place is horrible. It's really just no place for any kid, IMHO. What would the benefit be? I can't think of one. So.....that's just my rambling about it. I think the risks/ consequences are different for each kid and each family. But for us, it's just not worth it.

[Peela]

My son is going into year 10 in February. Kind of my choice but he kept saying he wanted to in order to get out of doing school work with me. He kept telling me how much less work they do in school and how mean I was. I got tired of it and decided he really needs the experience of school because he has a lot of illusions about it. If he doesnt like it he can come home but I need him to realise they do actually do work there- they dont actualyl jsut socialise all day. Its a top academic school- I tihnk he will be shocked at how much work they do, actually! I need hi to get a reality check. ANd I want him to get taught by other teachers. It feels good and right for him but I wouldnt be surprised if he misses the freedom of homeschooling and wants to come home by year 11 or 12.

[missmoe]

My oldest dd is in her second year of high school and loves it. It is a good school with a strong focus on academics. She is doing quite well--taking mostly honors classes. I think she pushes herself at school more than she ever did for me at home. I really do think the school is giving her more than I could have at home. I did two years of high school with my oldest and it was hard work! Too much for me, along with having younger ones to teach also.

 

My oldest is enrolled in a public independent study program. It is much like home schooling, but he has an oppertunity to take college classes that would not be so available to him as a homeschooler. It also provides a social aspect (through ASB, clubs, ect) that I was not providing for him at home.

 

For us, it is a positive experience. One my other kids will most likely repeat! They also have the choice.

[mcconnellboys]

The public high schools here are just too big (more than 2000 students). My older son was dying to have the high school experience, so we compromised and let him attend a local private high school (less than 900). I wasn't thrilled with the academics, but he got through okay, chose a decent college, and (hopefully!) is doing well there....

[Starr]

I think I would tell my child that I would bring her home if I felt ps wasn't the best for her. And that toughing it out is not some great accomplishment if things aren't going well. I hope it works out well whatever you decide.

[Hannah C.]

I went to a large (2700 student) 10th-12th grade public high school in starting in 10th grade. The next year it became 9-12 and gained about a thousand students. So, this was a *VERY* large school. I didn't experience constant profanity from everyone around me, though I did hear it sometimes. I feel like it was extremely beneficial for me to attend the public hs because of the very strong AP program and some absolutely wonderful teachers. However, I did have some problems with the large size and having to deal with the actions of some of the, well, idiots who also attended. So high school was at the same time a very positive and a very frustrating experience for me. If I could go back in time, know what would happen, and then be given the choice to do it over again, I would still do it.

[lvbnhome]

I just want to encourage you. We have 4 kids.

We homeschooled the first two dd's all the way through..They are both in college now, and doing well. My next, is going to ps this year...and it has been fantastic...It has been the first time in all the years of school..that he has said..I LOVE SCHOOL! We also put our 8 year old in this year. We were really blessed with a great teacher!

 

One thing that we have always told each child is that we evaluate it on a year by year basis...we say, "this year, this is what we are going to do" "we are going to do _____ for ONE year. Next year? We'll see.

We've done that with each child. It has ALL been positive for us. Was I/Am I a perfect homeschool mom? No! Hallelujah...because I don't have perfect kids and this is not a perfect world....we've just done what has worked for us...and evaluated it each year...and for each child...

Great job in sharing your enthusiasm with her mom!:) hope you all have lots of great LE's...(learning experiences while you are cultivating a love relationship with her:)

[Laura Corin]

Calvin has started 'high school' at private school. He has certainly come across unfortunate attitudes (prejudices against minorities), swearing and 'making out'. Just as disappointing for him, he's met a lot of children who have no interest in learning. After all his years at home, he has his own opinions about all this. Today, in his English class, he is making a speech on the importance of politeness.

 

He isn't finding school academically difficult, but is enjoying the different presentation, bouncing ideas off other people and.... being valued by someone other than his parents. His first full report shows 'A' in all subjects except PE, and even in that he got full marks for effort.

 

I hope it works out for you.

 

Laura

Edited December 8, 2010 by Laura Corin

[AngelaNYC]

I am a little sad today! I have always told my dd that she could choose to stay home or go to high school. Well, she has chosen to go to ps. I am supporting her deicision. I am wondering if anyone here has let their dc go to ps for high school? What was the outcome? Did they like it, love it or did they come back home? (Not that I am secretly hoping that she will want to come home or anything :001_smile:)

 

My girls (17 & 14) both chose to go to high school and I supported their decision. Both love it and both are thriving. There are hundreds of high schools to choose from in my city and almost all of them have a specific focus. So, the girls each chose a school based on their interests. I think ds (9) will probably go that route as well.

 

I still have all my "homeschool high school" bookmarks, just in case, lol.