X-POST: Public Apology

[Guest ME-Mommy]

Some of you may be aware of the issues I had with my "fire sale"...this is a public apology to everyone at WTM.

 

I have had some time to think and to "cool off" and I have some thoughts to share. (WARNING: this is long and rambling -- in no particular order)

 

- I went about this "fire sale" in the wrong way. (I had this stuff listed on multiple boards and I had email coming in faster than I could answer it...let alone keep it straight.)

 

- The email was extremely hard to keep up with and I became confused and overwhelmed trying to "link" buyer's usernames with their email address.

 

- After I listed everything, a family member became sick and required around the clock care. Last week, she was admitted to hospice care because I physically could not do it anymore.

 

- On top of all this, I had the day-to-day demands of homeschooling, housework, etc.

 

 

- The reason for the sale was a medical bill that we weren't expecting...$500 for bloodwork...and we still don't have a diagnosis. :blink:

 

- Then, we had made a deposit on a piece of land and we "forked over" $300 for a site plan. When an old landfill was discovered, we "nixed" the deal. So, we're out the deposit and the $ for the plan. We're hoping that the seller will return our $$, but there's no guarantee.

 

- I had to borrow $$ from our oldest daughter to pay the rent. (not a good place to be...and it's not because we're in "hock"...we have NO car payments, credit cards, loans, etc. -- simply living expenses and unexpected medical bills and car repairs)

 

- I didn't have PMs set to forward to my email. My PM box became full and I didn't realize it right away...and for a while, I didn't have my profile set up for email from WTM members.

 

- Needless to say, I am drained physcially and emotionally...which led to procrastinating, guilt, more procrastinating and it became easier and easier to avoid the mountain then deal with it.

 

- It was NEVER my intention to scam anyone...I know it "looks" and "sounds" bad especially because I had been a member before, had a rough time with some sales -- late shipments, etc. and then closed my account. I have NEVER kept anyone's $$ -- I either delivered the book late or refunded the buyer's money.

 

- I'm asking for everyone's patience...and I know I really have no right to do that. I *want* to do the right thing...honestly...but I only have $25 in my bank account and that has to last until Friday 10/8/10.)

 

**I'm truly sorry -- I know I didn't handle this correctly. I took my fear & frustration out on buyers and that was wrong.

 

If you've made it this far, thank you!! I hope you can all forgive me...:crying:

[Joy at Home]

:grouphug:

[*~Tina~*]

As this has been x-posted. . .I'd like to redirect this thread to the original thread, so that the whole picture is clear and focused for all parties involved. . .

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=211138

 

I'm sorry for your unfortunate circumstances Amy, as I'm sure others are, but it's not acceptable to take people's money and not deliver the merchandise. Notwithstanding, as you noted, that this is apparently not the first time this has been an issue.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forum...Ethree+bundles

 

I personally did not really need either of the items I ordered, but because of the plea nature of your post I figured I'd be helping you out in the process. I feel duped and a little unsympathetic at this point. :sad:

 

 

Blessings,

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ .·´ -:¦:-Tina ~

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

http://seasonsoflearning.blogspot.com/

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I really am. BUT (you knew there was a but - right? . . . . )

 

Maybe situations like this are what is making it harder and harder for people like me to sell things on line.

 

Please make good on everything you promised to send and couldn't. The reputation of this site and sellers here depends on it.

[Julie in CA]

Some of you may be aware of the issues I had with my "fire sale"...this is a public apology to everyone at WTM.

 

I have had some time to think and to "cool off" and I have some thoughts to share. (WARNING: this is long and rambling -- in no particular order)

 

- I went about this "fire sale" in the wrong way. (I had this stuff listed on multiple boards and I had email coming in faster than I could answer it...let alone keep it straight.)

 

- The email was extremely hard to keep up with and I became confused and overwhelmed trying to "link" buyer's usernames with their email address.

 

- After I listed everything, a family member became sick and required around the clock care. Last week, she was admitted to hospice care because I physically could not do it anymore.

 

- On top of all this, I had the day-to-day demands of homeschooling, housework, etc.

 

 

- The reason for the sale was a medical bill that we weren't expecting...$500 for bloodwork...and we still don't have a diagnosis. :blink:

 

- Then, we had made a deposit on a piece of land and we "forked over" $300 for a site plan. When an old landfill was discovered, we "nixed" the deal. So, we're out the deposit and the $ for the plan. We're hoping that the seller will return our $$, but there's no guarantee.

 

- I had to borrow $$ from our oldest daughter to pay the rent. (not a good place to be...and it's not because we're in "hock"...we have NO car payments, credit cards, loans, etc. -- simply living expenses and unexpected medical bills and car repairs)

 

- I didn't have PMs set to forward to my email. My PM box became full and I didn't realize it right away...and for a while, I didn't have my profile set up for email from WTM members.

 

- Needless to say, I am drained physcially and emotionally...which led to procrastinating, guilt, more procrastinating and it became easier and easier to avoid the mountain then deal with it.

 

- It was NEVER my intention to scam anyone...I know it "looks" and "sounds" bad especially because I had been a member before, had a rough time with some sales -- late shipments, etc. and then closed my account. I have NEVER kept anyone's $$ -- I either delivered the book late or refunded the buyer's money.

 

- I'm asking for everyone's patience...and I know I really have no right to do that. I *want* to do the right thing...honestly...but I only have $25 in my bank account and that has to last until Friday 10/8/10.)

 

**I'm truly sorry -- I know I didn't handle this correctly. I took my fear & frustration out on buyers and that was wrong.

 

If you've made it this far, thank you!! I hope you can all forgive me...:crying:

 

While I'm not completely unsympathetic (I'm not even involved directly in the situation), none of this addresses *why on earth you would leave negative feedback* for someone you did wrong? :confused:

[Guest ME-Mommy]

While I'm not completely unsympathetic (I'm not even involved directly in the situation), none of this addresses *why on earth you would leave negative feedback* for someone you did wrong? :confused:

 

Well -- good question -- I'm glad you asked! :)

 

Ever hear the saying, "There are two sides to every story."?

 

When I finally got the email and PM situation worked out so I was getting my mail, I contacted the buyer. I made a full refund...

 

She continued the email conversation -- accusing me and berating me -- AFTER I tried to explain and gave her the $$ back.

 

I then started receiving email from other WTM members who had been contacted via the PM system by the buyer. She was simply "stirring the pot" and it really got me upset.

 

A person can only take so much before they "blow"...she happened to get on my last nerve that day.

[LibraryLover]

This still doesn't makes sense. You should have left feedback long before anyone could berate & accuse you.

 

Well -- good question -- I'm glad you asked! :)

 

Ever hear the saying, "There are two sides to every story."?

 

When I finally got the email and PM situation worked out so I was getting my mail, I contacted the buyer. I made a full refund...

 

She continued the email conversation -- accusing me and berating me -- AFTER I tried to explain and gave her the $$ back.

 

I then started receiving email from other WTM members who had been contacted via the PM system by the buyer. She was simply "stirring the pot" and it really got me upset.

 

A person can only take so much before they "blow"...she happened to get on my last nerve that day.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I really am. BUT (you knew there was a but - right? . . . . )

 

Maybe situations like this are what is making it harder and harder for people like me to sell things on line.

 

Please make good on everything you promised to send and couldn't. The reputation of this site and sellers here depends on it.

 

I'm sorry...I really am.

 

And, yes, I *PROMISE* to send the books OR refund the $$ -- whichever the buyer prefers.

 

If it helps in some small way, I have an appointment to discuss depression/SAD with my doctor.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

This still doesn't makes sense. You should have left feedback long before anyone could berate & accuse you.

 

You're right...you're absolutely right...and I'm wrong. (I've admitted it and asked to be forgiven.)

 

How many times are you going to "beat a dead horse"? :001_unsure:

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I know nothing about this situation, but I can totally relate to your explanation. That has been me sooooooo many times in my life.

 

:grouphug:

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I know nothing about this situation, but I can totally relate to your explanation. That has been me sooooooo many times in my life.

 

:grouphug:

 

THANK YOU!! It's nice to know that there are a few people here that can relate...not that I would wish this on anyone, of course. ;)

[elegantlion]

To the OP, I'm sorry you're in the situation you're in, stress bites. However, if you received funds for many of these items, you have a LOT listed for sale, and have no money for shipping where did THEIR money go?

 

Can I offer some tips that have helped when I needed to sell items and had very little extra money.

 

1. I only list the number of items I know I can physically and mentally handle dealing with. Even if you're not stressed trying to deal with the logistics of over 50 items (I didn't count how many you sold) can be overwhelming.

 

2. I have my customer pay via paypal. I take money from my pocket and pay for shipping, using delivery confirmation on anything over $5.00. I don't touch the paypal money until I am sure the customer has received their product and are satisfied. Yes, it costs money up front, but I will never be put into a position of needing scramble for refund money.

 

3. I sometimes only list one or two things at a time because that's all the extra shipping money I have.

 

4. I try to sell items elsewhere, without shipping costs. Amazon has a buyback program that gives amazon credit. Not cash, but saves money. Check by isbn to see if a book is eligible, they even pay for shipping.

 

5. Another payment option is post office money orders. PO money orders can be cashed at the post office. You could package up the products, cash the money order and pay to have it shipped right then. No temptation to put the money elsewhere.

 

I understand about financial stress, believe me, but these people in good faith purchased products, some probably to help you out.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

To the OP, I'm sorry you're in the situation you're in, stress bites. However, if you received funds for many of these items, you have a LOT listed for sale, and have no money for shipping where did THEIR money go?

 

Towards the $500 medical bill...then in 2 weeks time, both our vehicles broke down and required some major repairs...which explains why I didn't have enough $$ to pay the rent...hence, the loan from our daughter.

 

I didn't just take the $$ and spend it "willy-nilly"...I *really* used it for the purpose in which it was intended. I *try* really hard to be a good steward of everything...we are not extravagant people...

 

 

Can I offer some tips that have helped when I needed to sell items and had very little extra money.

 

1. I only list the number of items I know I can physically and mentally handle dealing with. Even if you're not stressed trying to deal with the logistics of over 50 items (I didn't count how many you sold) can be overwhelming.

 

2. I have my customer pay via paypal. I take money from my pocket and pay for shipping, using delivery confirmation on anything over $5.00. I don't touch the paypal money until I am sure the customer has received their product and are satisfied. Yes, it costs money up front, but I will never be put into a position of needing scramble for refund money.

 

3. I sometimes only list one or two things at a time because that's all the extra shipping money I have.

 

4. I try to sell items elsewhere, without shipping costs. Amazon has a buyback program that gives amazon credit. Not cash, but saves money. Check by isbn to see if a book is eligible, they even pay for shipping.

 

5. Another payment option is post office money orders. PO money orders can be cashed at the post office. You could package up the products, cash the money order and pay to have it shipped right then. No temptation to put the money elsewhere.

 

I understand about financial stress, believe me, but these people in good faith purchased products, some probably to help you out.

 

Excellent advice...all of it...wish I had thought of it before this happened. I honestly didn't figure in the shipping costs and I had already withdrawn the Paypal $$ to pay the bill...or be faced with Small Claims Court.

[elegantlion]

Towards the $500 medical bill...then in 2 weeks time, both our vehicles broke down and required some major repairs...which explains why I didn't have enough $$ to pay the rent...hence, the loan from our daughter.

 

 

 

I didn't just take the $$ and spend it "willy-nilly"...I *really* used it for the purpose in which it was intended. I *try* really hard to be a good steward of everything...we are not extravagant people...

 

I will say this gently. It was not your money to spend until your obligation to all of your buyers was fulfilled. Just so you won't think I'm heartlessly jumping into this I'll give you some more info. My dh was out of work most of the summer. He's self-employed, there is no unemployment check for that. My AC went out on my car, my heater core went out, the radiator sprung a leak and then crashed about a month ago. My car sat for over a month before we had the money to repair it, when dh finally got some work.

 

The endless cycle of robbing Peter to pay Paul will get you every time. I don't know your situation, but have you looked into something like Dave Ramsey's financial program? We've been through times of dh earning 600.00 in a month and wondering how we were going to get by. He's a carpenter. He's had to pawn expensive tools so we could have food and bill money before.

 

I don't say this to chastise you, really, but I've been in the trenches when everything looks like it fall apart if you breathe wrong. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to get the baggage off your back too.

 

Excellent advice...all of it...wish I had thought of it before this happened. I honestly didn't figure in the shipping costs and I had already withdrawn the Paypal $$ to pay the bill...or be faced with Small Claims Court.

 

My dh and I learned many things the hard way. I know you will do what you need to fulfill the obligations you have to your buyers. If you haven't already done so, take a deep breath. Then if you haven't make a list of everything you've sold, to whom, and where in the process it is. If you're a praying person pray over the list and for each person on it. Then take care of it, one by one. Don't hide, keep the communication open.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

My dh and I learned many things the hard way. I know you will do what you need to fulfill the obligations you have to your buyers. If you haven't already done so, take a deep breath. Then if you haven't make a list of everything you've sold, to whom, and where in the process it is. If you're a praying person pray over the list and for each person on it. Then take care of it, one by one. Don't hide, keep the communication open.

 

Thank you again -- excellent advice == ALL OF IT!!

 

List of sales = done

Status = done

 

Just waiting on a few responses -- and then I know what I have to do on Friday. (mail or refund)

 

P.S. Yes, I'm a praying person...and MY God is bigger than all this!!

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I'm contacting a moderator to close this thread...I'm done debating this in public.

 

I don't need anyone's "approval"...and I don't need any of you to accept my apology.

 

If I have apologized to you, and you refuse to accept that apology, I am no longer accountable to you. I am only accountable to God...

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm contacting a moderator to close this thread...I'm done debating this in public.

 

I don't need anyone's "approval"...and I don't need any of you to accept my apology.

 

If I have apologized to you, and you refuse to accept that apology, I am no longer accountable to you. I am only accountable to God...

 

Following through on your words with actions is more important than words. Not doing that is what got you into this mess to begin with.

[Tree House Academy]

You're right...you're absolutely right...and I'm wrong. (I've admitted it and asked to be forgiven.)

 

How many times are you going to "beat a dead horse"? :001_unsure:

 

 

YOU posted a public apology for all to see (when most of us do not even know what was going on!) and now you are wondering why anyone would dare to ask a question or try to understand.

 

I truly think you should step away from this situation and take a look at what you are doing here. Maybe have some more "cooling off" time and revisit this after everyone's money has been refunded/books have been sent.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

YOU posted a public apology for all to see (when most of us do not even know what was going on!) and now you are wondering why anyone would dare to ask a question or try to understand.

 

I truly think you should step away from this situation and take a look at what you are doing here. Maybe have some more "cooling off" time and revisit this after everyone's money has been refunded/books have been sent.

 

One more post and then I'm going to bed...

 

I'm NOT wondering why anyone would dare to ask a question -- I'm wondering why I'm being inundated with email and PM's and posts -- MOST of which are about "kicking me while I'm down".

 

Let's be clear: very few have tried to understand...

[Jean in Newcastle]

The problem is that there are a lot of people on this board (and in the world lately) with money problems as severe or worse than yours. People have been hurt by your actions. I think it was good that you apologized. Yes, part of the consequence of your actions is that you are going to have to take your licks. But once you make good on your apology it will all go away.

[Tree House Academy]

One more post and then I'm going to bed...

 

I'm NOT wondering why anyone would dare to ask a question -- I'm wondering why I'm being inundated with email and PM's and posts -- MOST of which are about "kicking me while I'm down".

 

Let's be clear: very few have tried to understand...

 

I am pretty sure that most of us understand...but I think you are going to have to understand the anger on the parts of the people still left with no books/no refund. Until you are able to make good on your promises, folks are going to be mad.

 

By apologizing, you admitted this was all totally your fault - so, understand or not, that doesn't change what happened. Pm'ing and e-mailing you seems out of line unless it is a buyer who has not received books/refunds. However, when you chose to post a "PUBLIC apology," you did open yourself up to this.

 

Step.away.from.the.computer. Go to bed, try not to visit the thread again - just let your apology stand as it is...you are sorry and you will make it right. Beyond that, there isn't much else to say, correct?

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I am not in any way involved in the current situation- but I did want to come and say that I did have a very positive experience with Me-mommy about 2 or 3 months ago. (I know that does not make up for this situation AT ALL) I bought something, the item was received before any concern so I would guess within 2 weeks. I do understand that things happen, but how it is handled is huge. Communication is vital no matter what the situation. People are generally very understanding if they know what is going on. It is odd and concerning that there was a very similar situation with similar reasons under a previous name- but again- there were good, honest transactions made by me-mommy. I am praying that Friday will get here quickly and this whole situation will be resolved. :001_smile:

 

I do think a public apology was not entirely appropriate because there are many hurt people being exposed (the seller and the buyers) as well as alot of emotion but is done is done. Unfortunately this will make people more leary of buying from people on line. I know I do alot of buying and selling as curriculum needs change and I have had all positive experiences (including one from Me-mommy)

 

Tempers are high- that is obvious (and understandable) but still- the way this is handled by me-mommy is vital. People are hurt understandably but getting frustrated is not the way to handle this. Situations can get frustrating but you (me-mommy) also have to understand where the buyers are coming from. Put yourself on the receiving end of the email, pm or whatever else as a buyer who has not received books or a refund. :grouphug: I am praying for your situation and that this will all be resolved soon.

[Miss Sherry]

One more post and then I'm going to bed...

 

I'm NOT wondering why anyone would dare to ask a question -- I'm wondering why I'm being inundated with email and PM's and posts -- MOST of which are about "kicking me while I'm down".

 

Let's be clear: very few have tried to understand...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suspect that some of the reason you may be receiving angry pm's and emails may have to do with you posting this....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've contacted a moderator to close this thread...I'm done debating this in public...

 

I don't need anyone's "approval"...and I don't need any of you to accept my apology.

 

If I have apologized to you, and you refuse to accept that apology, I am no longer accountable to you. I am only accountable to God... "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Telling people "I am only accountable to God...." when they have not received the books from you that they have paid for tends to make them angry. I think people just want their books or money refunded and don't want to hear any more excuses. Also, when you come on here and profusely claim to be sorry but than say "I am only accountable to God...." your apology loses credibility. I think you should stop talking on here and just take action to make things right - meaning send the items and/or money.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2081867#post2081867

Edited October 5, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[RanchGirl]

are you new to apologizing? I don't think you are clear on the concept.

[Miss Sherry]

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=142963&highlight=amy~three+bundles

 

Actually, it is believed that the OP has done this kind of thing before, but under a different user name.

 

Hopefully, this is the last time she does this, ever, and not just the last time using the current user name.

[Leighton Academy]

Now I know why I always tell my boys:

 

Never ruin an apology with excuses.

 

When you do, things don't come out the way you may have intended and it just negates the apology all the way around.

[delaney]

Now I know why I always tell my boys:

 

Never ruin an apology with excuses.

 

When you do, things don't come out the way you may have intended and it just negates the apology all the way around.

I have to agree. I tell mine that they aren't really sorry if the only reason they are saying it is because they got caught. Taking money, using it elsewhere, and not delivering product equals stealing. Pretty simple concept.

[Gwenhwyfar]

and MY God is bigger than all this!!

 

I am only accountable to God...

 

your god ≠ get out of jail free card.

[Julie in CA]

How many times are you going to "beat a dead horse"? :001_unsure:

People will probably stop "beating a dead horse" when your apologies aren't accompanied by statements in which you excuse yourself or are dismissive of others. In a sincere apology, you wouldn't so quickly return to statements like:

 

"There are two sides to every story"

"A person can only take so much before they "blow".

"How many times are you going to "beat a dead horse"?

"MY God is bigger than all this!"

"I don't need anyone's "approval"...and I don't need any of you to accept my apology."

"If I have apologized to you, and you refuse to accept that apology, I am no longer accountable to you. I am only accountable to God..."

 

Yes, you may have to be humble through the fallout. It does sound like you're having a hard time, but sitting through some disapproval from the many people you've wronged is a small price to pay when the alternative is defending yourself against multiple mail fraud charges. :001_huh:

Bearing with a few reply posts that question you seems like a small price to pay in comparison to what the penalty *could* be.