s/o said to my dd @ church ;(

[Laurie4b]

Here's how the conversation went in kids church. Dd "my dog died this weekend, but she's in a better place." Her friend, "dogs don't go to heaven." Uggggghhhh...

 

Sometimes, I just want to ring their pretty little necks!!!

 

Same girl who spent the night last weekend and told my kiddos Santa isn't real. So what...if I want to keep the fantasy alive a bit longer!!!

 

I lost patience and told dd to ignore her friend!!!:glare:

 

I think it is normal. Kids that age can be very focused on facts (hence the grammar stage with its memorization) and be kind of compulsive about correcting what they think is wrong. It doesn't necessarily indicate that they are mean; it can just as well be a developmental thing. They are ensuring the order of the world as they understand it.

 

We had a Sunday school teacher tell that (pets don't go to heaven) to a class once. Leadership talked with her about how Christians really don't know and it's important to stick with what we do know and all believe in Sunday school (as opposed to giving an opinion on a gray area). Though she accepted the leadership's position, and agreed not to address those kinds of topics again, I don't think she agreed with it. This was a very kind, sweet woman. In her mind, she was teaching/correcting an error.

 

I wouldn't go too hard even in your mind on the 10 year old. It's something that happens.

[coralloyd]

Whether pets will be resurrected, no one knows, and it is a silly thing to argue about IMO. My answer to my dc is that we don't really know, but we have peace that our loving God knows what is best.

 

Your daughters friend is a child. Give her some grace.

 

About Santa- If you choose to tell your child that he is real, I think you should EXPECT the truth to come out sooner or later. Why are you so shocked another child told her? It is the risk you run playing the game.

 

Now if some adult told my dc that God is not real, I would be shocked. They should know better. Especially since it is something that I believe in. If you truly believe in Santa I could maybe see how you would be upset. However, if a child said that God is not real I would not be upset. I would look at it as a teaching opportunity.

 

On a side note: No where in the Bible does it say the lion will lay down with the lamb.

Edited August 30, 2010 by coralloyd

[Danestress]

Ummm...I never said she was more entitled.

 

No, I guess you didn't. But you did say that you are sensitive about people "butting in" and I took that to mean that you wanted to "wring her neck" not just because she wasn't comforting enough but also because she corrected a belief that you have passed to your daughter. Sorry if I misunderstood.

 

Some people are like this girl - more focussed on facts and analysis than on emotions. I think over time we learn that some friends are great for a theological/political debate and others are great for a hug. It sounds like this friend wasn't particularly sensitive to your daughter's emotional need and was just more into the surface facts of the conversation. I tend to think it's a more common trait in guys, but some girls will probably be this way too.

 

By the say, I am sorry about the dog.

[the4Rs]

I am in agreement about not sheltering my children. We want them to always know that we never spoke falsely with them...they can never say well you lied to me about "x,y,z" so now I can't trust anything you say theologically..... This whole post just rubs me the wrong way though so I'll refrain from more...as I had a family member tell me how to raise my kids. Uncouth.

 

Extend some grace to this girl. She is ten not 20. She seriously didn't think. I know plenty of kids at this age. They just say what comes to mind and if they don't believe that they'll say it. Not sure how old your own daughter is but if she is close to ten the dream wouldn't last much longer anyway about Santa....as for the dog, just comfort your daughter how you think best. Telling her to ignore what the friend said is just fine. It's all you can do.

 

My response to parents who get so "upset" about other kids ruining things for their kids....just tell your own child "some believe, some don't." Why let it get your knickers in a bunch?

[simka2]

But it doesn't say that our pets will be in the new heavens and new earth.

 

It doesn't say they won't be either! But the very fact that it does say animals will be there, puts more evidence on the side that they will be :D!

[simka2]

I am in agreement about not sheltering my children. We want them to always know that we never spoke falsely with them...they can never say well you lied to me about "x,y,z" so now I can't trust anything you say theologically..... This whole post just rubs me the wrong way though so I'll refrain from more...as I had a family member tell me how to raise my kids. Uncouth.

 

Extend some grace to this girl. She is ten not 20. She seriously didn't think. I know plenty of kids at this age. They just say what comes to mind and if they don't believe that they'll say it. Not sure how old your own daughter is but if she is close to ten the dream wouldn't last much longer anyway about Santa....as for the dog, just comfort your daughter how you think best. Telling her to ignore what the friend said is just fine. It's all you can do.

 

My response to parents who get so "upset" about other kids ruining things for their kids....just tell your own child "some believe, some don't." Why let it get your knickers in a bunch?

 

I have just about had enough!!! I never once said we got upset about this girl saying there wasn't a Santa Claus. My knickers were never in a bunch about Santa!!!

 

And as far as extending her some Grace...Hmmmmmm I could have called up her mom, and made a stink. Instead I came to a semi-anonymus forum...good gracious!

 

Now, if I link this back to the thread it was spun off from...

 

It's not okay for a kid to tell another kid he will be socially disadvantage, because he is homeschooled, but it is okay to tell a greiving 9 yr old that she won't see her beloved dog in heaven?

 

How about showing the poor boy scout kid some "grace."

 

Okay, I know that was snarky, but wow is there a double standard. Let throw tact to the wind...except if someone looks down on homeschooling.

[5kidsforME]

It doesn't say they won't be either! But the very fact that it does say animals will be there, puts more evidence on the side that they will be :D!

 

Don't get me wrong, I DO think animals will be there. Just not necessarily the ones we are living with now. Our pets. Honestly, I don't think we are going to care once we get up there. :001_smile:

[simka2]

Don't get me wrong, I DO think animals will be there. Just not necessarily the ones we are living with now. Our pets. Honestly, I don't think we are going to care once we get up there. :001_smile:

 

This could very well be true!!! :D My only point is that we don't know for sure either way. This is one of those non-essential belifes that doesn't do the believer harm. So why burst the bubble?

 

I get what you are saying though :D!

[lmrich]

I am with you. Your kid was hurting and someone made her feel worse. It was a rotten thing to say. Kids can be rotten, even good kids can be rotten. Hopefully this little girl won't grow up into a little know-it-all with not an ounce of compassion. Surely, she will learn from others how to be gracious and kind.

 

oh and by the way...I believe that my pets will be in heaven, but if for some reason they are not, I am sure that is because Jesus has found an even place for them.

[5kidsforME]

This could very well be true!!! :D My only point is that we don't know for sure either way. This is one of those non-essential belifes that doesn't do the believer harm. So why burst the bubble?

 

I get what you are saying though :D!

 

 

Yeah and I really do get what your saying. I understand too why you are upset for your dd, but I could well imagine my 11 yo ds saying this without thinking how it may effect the other person. He is really loving, caring and hates when he hurts others feelings. He would feel bad after the fact but in the mean time he would just be "correcting" what he has heard or believes. I have told my kids "this is what I believe, others believe differently". For what its worth I really doubt this girl was intending to hurt your dd. Sounds like immaturity on her part, she'll learn. If she doesn't.....she won't have many friends in life! :D

[5kidsforME]

I am with you. Your kid was hurting and someone made her feel worse. It was a rotten thing to say. Kids can be rotten, even good kids can be rotten. Hopefully this little girl won't grow up into a little know-it-all with not an ounce of compassion. Surely, she will learn from others how to be gracious and kind.

 

oh and by the way...I believe that my pets will be in heaven, but if for some reason they are not, I am sure that is because Jesus has found an even place for them.

 

You know I am erring on the side of thinking the girl just didn't think before she spoke. At 10, it isn't that unheard of.

 

Simka, is this girl normally hurtful? Or is this the first time?

 

I would cut the girl some slack.

[hornblower]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

[LauraGB]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

 

Yep. What she said.

[keptwoman]

Basically your DD's friend was being impolite.

 

It's impolite to argue with someone who has just said their pet will go to heaven.

It's impolite to "educate" someone who believes in Santa on the non-existence of the Red Suited Guy

It's impolite to point out to a believer that there is no God.

 

It's all the same. It's just plain rude. So if you want to justify rudeness by telling yourself that it's correcting a lie, well not much I can do about that. But it's still rude, and nothing justifies rudeness IMHO.

[keptwoman]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

:iagree:

LOL I could have saved typing my post by reading this last page.

[simka2]

Yeah and I really do get what your saying. I understand too why you are upset for your dd, but I could well imagine my 11 yo ds saying this without thinking how it may effect the other person. He is really loving, caring and hates when he hurts others feelings. He would feel bad after the fact but in the mean time he would just be "correcting" what he has heard or believes. I have told my kids "this is what I believe, others believe differently". For what its worth I really doubt this girl was intending to hurt your dd. Sounds like immaturity on her part, she'll learn. If she doesn't.....she won't have many friends in life! :D

 

I know...and I knew that when I started this thread. There really was never any intent to paint this girl as some horrible little monster. She said something, out of imaturity, that was hurtful to my daughter. Yes, I abhore that type of personality...that is more concerened with the letter of the law, than the spirit. But I am also, well aware that it is somewhat normal for this age and certain personality types.

 

That said, I'm a bit shocked at some of the responses I got...I know I shouldn't be, but I am :glare:.

 

Thanks, for your kind words!

[simka2]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

 

I walk away for a moment...and in role the great responses!!! Guess it's one of those days on the forum :lol:!!!

[Wheres Toto]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

:iagree:

[Nakia]

The "animals in heaven" debate is one that my husband and I cannot agree on. He is of the belief that there won't be animals in heaven. I have a very vivid picture of what heaven will be like. I believe heaven is all about being in communion with God just like Adam and Eve were before the fall. I think my husband will be able to fish and play football with Jesus because that's what he loves. My oldest daughter will get to ride horses on the mountain trails with Jesus. My middle will swim and play all day in the water with Him. And my youngest can dance and sing to her heart's content, and Jesus will be right there singing and dancing with her. I think me and Jesus will get our cameras out and take pictures of all God's beautiful and perfect creation. And my family will play and cuddle with our dog, Sadie, and our cats, Murray and Harley, and any others that go before we do. And heaven will definitely smell like puppy breath and Fraser firs. :D

 

Anyway, some of you will undoubtedly think I am a total nutcase after reading this. And I might be totally wrong about the whole thing. But who cares? Once we get there, all that matters is that we got there.

[Ester Maria]

Basically your DD's friend was being impolite.

 

It's impolite to argue with someone who has just said their pet will go to heaven.

It's impolite to "educate" someone who believes in Santa on the non-existence of the Red Suited Guy

It's impolite to point out to a believer that there is no God.

 

It's all the same. It's just plain rude. So if you want to justify rudeness by telling yourself that it's correcting a lie, well not much I can do about that. But it's still rude, and nothing justifies rudeness IMHO.

Both my daughters and I have been known to come across as quite rude and blunt at times. Not that I take special pride in it, but I regularly get irritated by the silent underlying agenda that nobody should ever attempt to burst anyone's bubble regading any belief because that's so disrespectful. At the end of the day, why wouldn't they challenge other people and their positions - especially their peers? Why wouldn't they point to their friends that they might be wrong about something? Seriously, what's so terribly wrong about it? Insulting, name calling, deliberate making fun of is impolite, no discussion about that - but expressing your opinion, or saying that you disagree with something, or that you learned about something shouldn't be considered impolite when you talk to people on your level (child-child, adult-adult). Especially not in a discussion that was initiated by somebody else, or responding with a comment on what somebody else said. It's more like a reaction, really, on the part of youngsters who still haven't internalized certain social grace to know when to react and when not. It takes time and experience for it to become totally internalized and to know how to judge on a case by case basis.

 

[i guess it's another reason why it's really good that my children don't attend school - with their love for disputation, quite well-developed cynicism for their age (they do stem from what's probably the most cynical nation on Earth, though) and propensity to very sharp, analytical thought, much of what they would have likely have said when interacting with people would have been labelled, in their elementary years, provocations and chutzpah by the insecure and oversensitive majority.]

 

Kids do master those subtleties of social interaction with time. This kid in question is about 10 years old... not a teen, of whom we would already expect significantly higher dose of 'social intelligence' with regards to these things (know when to comment, how to comment, etc.). Up till certain age - which can largely vary - the world for children is sort of "black and white", ethically. That's why we tell them fairy tales and similar stories with clear "black" and "white" division, explain morality that way too, and save complex human psychology with all shades of "grey" for when they're a few years older and can relate to those things. And while 10 is an age when they usually do start growing out of it, if they haven't got out of it already, younger children can have certain clumsy social situations simply out of being truthful to their principles. They can also be brutally honest until they learn that truth is a dangerous thing that is sometimes to be "compromised a bit" for social reasons (e.g., with a preschooler: "Do you like the cookies that our host made for you?" - "No." :D), and it takes years to refine a skill of judging when to comment on something you hear and when not.

 

In all honesty, I think it's quite childish from adults to resent these things said by a child. In our circles we usually laugh at such blunt comments and wave our hands at children's mutual disputations on this or that issue. Nobody takes this particular type of "rudeness" seriously anyway until the kids are about double-digit, and even then, with very young double-digits, people will have understanding for an occasional odd comment. It's the teens when it will be considered an actual, thought-out rudeness and deliberate provocation of somebody's position. And by teens, even the toughest among them acquire certain social grace and common sense with regards to whether you should say anything and if you should, how you should phrase it.

 

I just can't believe (not this particular thread, but in general) when adults actually get worked up by a child commenting on Santa, God, puppy heaven, squares in triangles, or anything of the kind, most of such comments I can think of are truly naive and innocuous, not evil-minded or provocating for the sake of irritating somebody, even if they may end up truly irritating somebody. I don't see what's the problem with just working out the situation in private with your child according to your position.

Edited August 31, 2010 by Ester Maria

[LauraGB]

At the end of the day, why wouldn't they challenge other people and their positions - especially their peers? Why wouldn't they point to their friends that they might be wrong about something? Seriously, what's so terribly wrong about it? .

 

Because at the end of the day, there is a time and a place for such things. The girl (and the OP) just lost the presence of life of someone/something she obviously loved very much. She is grieving and trying to make sense of the ordeal. That would not be either the time, nor the place. If it were delivered by someone other than a 10 year old (say, for instance, an adult), it would be considered self-edifying, not informative.

 

But, honestly, Ester Maria, I think you already know that. Another thread for a more general discussion might be fun, though.

[oldskool]

Maybe she's one of those kids whose parents think it's oh so cute when they walk around pointing out other people's "mistakes" & "errors in judgement".

 

Duh, dogs don't go to heaven. (this thread)

 

Oh, no Santa doesn't exist. (another thread)

 

You shouldn't smoke! It's bad for you and gross and disgusting! (another thread)

 

Homeschooling is for 'fraidy cat losers! (well, I did make that one up.... :D)

 

 

Peeps - that's not precocious. It's rude.

 

:iagree:

 

Lesley

[the4Rs]

Both my daughters and I have been known to come across as quite rude and blunt at times. Not that I take special pride in it, but I regularly get irritated by the silent underlying agenda that nobody should ever attempt to burst anyone's bubble regading any belief because that's so disrespectful. At the end of the day, why wouldn't they challenge other people and their positions - especially their peers? Why wouldn't they point to their friends that they might be wrong about something? Seriously, what's so terribly wrong about it? Insulting, name calling, deliberate making fun of is impolite, no discussion about that - but expressing your opinion, or saying that you disagree with something, or that you learned about something shouldn't be considered impolite when you talk to people on your level (child-child, adult-adult). Especially not in a discussion that was initiated by somebody else, or responding with a comment on what somebody else said. It's more like a reaction, really, on the part of youngsters who still haven't internalized certain social grace to know when to react and when not. It takes time and experience for it to become totally internalized and to know how to judge on a case by case basis.

 

[i guess it's another reason why it's really good that my children don't attend school - with their love for disputation, quite well-developed cynicism for their age (they do stem from what's probably the most cynical nation on Earth, though) and propensity to very sharp, analytical thought, much of what they would have likely have said when interacting with people would have been labelled, in their elementary years, provocations and chutzpah by the insecure and oversensitive majority.]

 

Kids do master those subtleties of social interaction with time. This kid in question is about 10 years old... not a teen, of whom we would already expect significantly higher dose of 'social intelligence' with regards to these things (know when to comment, how to comment, etc.). Up till certain age - which can largely vary - the world for children is sort of "black and white", ethically. That's why we tell them fairy tales and similar stories with clear "black" and "white" division, explain morality that way too, and save complex human psychology with all shades of "grey" for when they're a few years older and can relate to those things. And while 10 is an age when they usually do start growing out of it, if they haven't got out of it already, younger children can have certain clumsy social situations simply out of being truthful to their principles. They can also be brutally honest until they learn that truth is a dangerous thing that is sometimes to be "compromised a bit" for social reasons (e.g., with a preschooler: "Do you like the cookies that our host made for you?" - "No." :D), and it takes years to refine a skill of judging when to comment on something you hear and when not.

 

In all honesty, I think it's quite childish from adults to resent these things said by a child. In our circles we usually laugh at such blunt comments and wave our hands at children's mutual disputations on this or that issue. Nobody takes this particular type of "rudeness" seriously anyway until the kids are about double-digit, and even then, with very young double-digits, people will have understanding for an occasional odd comment. It's the teens when it will be considered an actual, thought-out rudeness and deliberate provocation of somebody's position. And by teens, even the toughest among them acquire certain social grace and common sense with regards to whether you should say anything and if you should, how you should phrase it.

 

I just can't believe (not this particular thread, but in general) when adults actually get worked up by a child commenting on Santa, God, puppy heaven, squares in triangles, or anything of the kind, most of such comments I can think of are truly naive and innocuous, not evil-minded or provocating for the sake of irritating somebody, even if they may end up truly irritating somebody. I don't see what's the problem with just working out the situation in private with your child according to your position.

:iagree: Very well put Ester.

 

simka..I have NO clue what boy scout thing you are talking about. Was this from a previous thread?

 

And the reference to "knickers in a bunch" was in response to you saying in your opening statement that you could "wring her little neck"....hmmm bad enough for a child to be insensitive to your daughter in her time of grief...quite another as an adult to even comment about such a thought toward a 10 year old child. Even though as I read it I knew you didn't mean to sound so harsh..my thought was perhaps the girl didn't mean to sound so harsh. When you are grieving you don't always perceive situations as they truly are..your emtions are more on your shirt sleeves and you are more easily wounded than at other times. YOu being general of course. Were you there during the actual conversation at church? If you weren't there may be some missing pieces to the story, if you were, I'd say the girl was just speaking the truth as she knows it and hasn't learned the art of tempering her position with a little grace.

[simka2]

:iagree: Very well put Ester.

 

simka..I have NO clue what boy scout thing you are talking about. Was this from a previous thread?

 

And the reference to "knickers in a bunch" was in response to you saying in your opening statement that you could "wring her little neck"....hmmm bad enough for a child to be insensitive to your daughter in her time of grief...quite another as an adult to even comment about such a thought toward a 10 year old child. Even though as I read it I knew you didn't mean to sound so harsh..my thought was perhaps the girl didn't mean to sound so harsh. When you are grieving you don't always perceive situations as they truly are..your emtions are more on your shirt sleeves and you are more easily wounded than at other times. YOu being general of course. Were you there during the actual conversation at church? If you weren't there may be some missing pieces to the story, if you were, I'd say the girl was just speaking the truth as she knows it and hasn't learned the art of tempering her position with a little grace.

 

Thats enough.

[ciyates]

:lol:

Mine ate a plateful of beignets.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: Mine drank from the toilet but he has repented so I think he will make it in.

[Joker]

I just wanted to say that I get why you were upset. I also don't "get" why in this thread the child is just a child but in the other thread people were much more harsh. It doesn't make sense. In both instances the child discussed was rude. Hope your dd is ok.

[simka2]

I just wanted to say that I get why you were upset. I also don't "get" why in this thread the child is just a child but in the other thread people were much more harsh. It doesn't make sense. In both instances the child discussed was rude. Hope your dd is ok.

 

Thank you...good to know I'm not the only one seeing a double standard :)

 

But I am glad the other mom who posted isn't having to deal with these responses. This is my first time regretting posting a thread, people insensitivity is amazing.

 

Sorry, venting a bit :glare:.

 

I do appreciate the kind words.

[JoJosMom]

We lost my almost 13 year old German Shephard right before Thanksgiving last year. My dd was 7 and never knew life without him. She was devastated. I totally get your violent urges toward your dd's "friend." If all you did was vent here, good on you! I probably would have lost it.

 

I agree with earlier posters about the comfort to be found in the "Rainbow Bridge" poem. At Christmas, we gave our dd a framed picture of her and her beloved friend that had the poem printed on it; it was loved. (She still won't display it, though. It's in its packaging and she takes it out regularly to think about him and cry. :sad:). We also gave her a copy of Randy Alcorn's "Heaven for Kids" which leaves open the idea that our treasured pets will be in Heaven with us. Unfortunately, my little one has suffered many losses in her short years on earth and we really like the book.

 

Again, I'm sorry that your little one is hurting.

[simka2]

We lost my almost 13 year old German Shephard right before Thanksgiving last year. My dd was 7 and never knew life without him. She was devastated. I totally get your violent urges toward your dd's "friend." If all you did was vent here, good on you! I probably would have lost it.

 

I agree with earlier posters about the comfort to be found in the "Rainbow Bridge" poem. At Christmas, we gave our dd a framed picture of her and her beloved friend that had the poem printed on it; it was loved. (She still won't display it, though. It's in its packaging and she takes it out regularly to think about him and cry. :sad:). We also gave her a copy of Randy Alcorn's "Heaven for Kids" which leaves open the idea that our treasured pets will be in Heaven with us. Unfortunately, my little one has suffered many losses in her short years on earth and we really like the book.

 

Again, I'm sorry that your little one is hurting.

 

I'm sorry for your loss as well!!! I am getting ready to put together a photo for the kids, and I think I will include the poem as well. :)

[AprilTN]

The "animals in heaven" debate is one that my husband and I cannot agree on. He is of the belief that there won't be animals in heaven. I have a very vivid picture of what heaven will be like. I believe heaven is all about being in communion with God just like Adam and Eve were before the fall. I think my husband will be able to fish and play football with Jesus because that's what he loves. My oldest daughter will get to ride horses on the mountain trails with Jesus. My middle will swim and play all day in the water with Him. And my youngest can dance and sing to her heart's content, and Jesus will be right there singing and dancing with her. I think me and Jesus will get our cameras out and take pictures of all God's beautiful and perfect creation. And my family will play and cuddle with our dog, Sadie, and our cats, Murray and Harley, and any others that go before we do. And heaven will definitely smell like puppy breath and Fraser firs. :D

 

Anyway, some of you will undoubtedly think I am a total nutcase after reading this. And I might be totally wrong about the whole thing. But who cares? Once we get there, all that matters is that we got there.

 

 

Nakia this brought tears to my eyes! When I explain heaven to my children, this is the same way that I describe it. I don't know exactly how it will be, but for right now we just imagine the most fun, happy things that we love to do, and that is the way we imagine heaven. And I have hope that my sweet dog will be there. If not, I know that I'll never even realize it but for now I want to believe it.

 

As for the OP, that girl was rude. Obviously her parents have not taught her tact. Even at a young age you can teach your children that it's not polite to say certain things. I know, I know, we all believe differently and we all have our rights, yes, yes, blah blah blah, but our words can be hurtful and we need to teach our children when it is appropriate to stand up for our beliefs and when it would be best to keep our mouth shut.

[Nakia]

Nakia this brought tears to my eyes! When I explain heaven to my children, this is the same way that I describe it. I don't know exactly how it will be, but for right now we just imagine the most fun, happy things that we love to do, and that is the way we imagine heaven. And I have hope that my sweet dog will be there. If not, I know that I'll never even realize it but for now I want to believe it.

 

 

 

:grouphug:

[JMDRAD]

We got a Rainbow Bridge card, too, when our dog died. It is such a sweet concept.

 

Not to start a theological debate, but it doesn't explicitly say in the Bible that dogs won't be in Heaven, so your DD's friend really had no reason to say that.

 

:grouphug:

 

:iagree::iagree:

[CAMom]

I have just about had enough!!! I never once said we got upset about this girl saying there wasn't a Santa Claus. My knickers were never in a bunch about Santa!!!

 

And as far as extending her some Grace...Hmmmmmm I could have called up her mom, and made a stink. Instead I came to a semi-anonymus forum...good gracious!

 

Now, if I link this back to the thread it was spun off from...

 

It's not okay for a kid to tell another kid he will be socially disadvantage, because he is homeschooled, but it is okay to tell a greiving 9 yr old that she won't see her beloved dog in heaven?

 

How about showing the poor boy scout kid some "grace."

 

Okay, I know that was snarky, but wow is there a double standard. Let throw tact to the wind...except if someone looks down on homeschooling.

 

You know, I feel horrible about your dog dying. We've lost three beloved dogs and it is so, so hard.:grouphug:

 

That said, I think you're being harsh towards the 10 year old. She's still concrete and was just saying what she believes. I very much doubt she had malicious intent. Additionally, most 10 year olds don't have the life experience needed to develop compassion enough to use discretion in a situation like that. If they can't relate to grief, I think it's an unrealistic expectation to think that they can respond appropriately.

 

And, if you think about it, most adults have put their foot in their mouth at one time or another when talking with someone who is grieving. Here's an just one example (out of many, many) from when my 6 week old daughter died:

 

I was talking to a friend about a month afterwards and she was asking me where we had buried here. I explained that we had made the choice to cremate. She actually said to me, "Oh. Well, I'm sure if you had actually known her and developed memories with her it would have been important for you to have a gravesite to visit." I was so stunned! I could not believe what I was hearing. But, she didn't realize she was being insensitive. In some way she thought what she was saying would be comforting-you know, you haven't lost as much as you could have type of thing.

 

People just don't know what to do or say when someone has suffered a loss. That is much more magnified when the person in question can't relate to the loss because of lack of experience. Couple that with the fact that we're talking about a little girl and I don't think what she said was rude or out of line. She just didn't know any better because of her age and lack of experience.

 

One thing I learned through my profound loss is that people think they are being helpful and comforting when they're not and that a little grace goes a long way.

 

:grouphug: and comfort to you as you mourn the loss of your beloved doggie.

[Guest janainaz]

Animals do not go to heaven because they do not have a soul. Only humans have a soul.

 

In Revelation, the white horse is symbolic of perfection and purity.

 

Not to say that I don't believe animals hold a special place in our hearts here on Earth. While it would be nice to believe that heaven is full of sweet pets (being as I am a huge pet lover and just lost my cat in july), I don't believe it.

 

If you have not been to/in Heaven, you would not really know. I'd rather just believe that they'll be there and I certainly would not be telling children that their beloved pet just ceases to exist.

[Guest janainaz]

The bottom line is that parents need to teach their children to have some level of respect for other people's beliefs. I do teach my kids that not everyone thinks the same way and just because we believe x, y, or z, that it does not mean everyone else on the planet believes x, y, or z. I also teach them that it's possible that we could be wrong sometimes.

 

Children learn some level of sensitivity from their parents, or they learn to be completely insensitive in a effort to voice their belief (because being right often overrides compassion). A ten year old kid voicing such a concrete opinion learned to do so from somewhere else.