Nearing the end of this deployment and I am *so* done. Ugh.

[Pretty in Pink]

In the last month alone:

 

• The AC went out. Twice.
  
• I had to rush four kids to the ER at 5 a.m. because my 2yo woke up coughing so hard that he was gasping for air. He had croup.
  
• The next day, both my 4yo and 6yo also had croup.
  
• My 6yo has asthma, and one of his prescriptions had apparently expired so I had to beg, borrow, and steal (and drive 45 mintues) to get him the medicine he needed the first day and then drag three sick kids and one well to the clinic the next day so that a random doctor could give my 6yo the once over and write the prescription that he clearly needed, because he refused to call-in the prescription even though we've had a standing order for it for nearly three years.
  
• My 2yo caught a stomach bug and threw up all over the van. Three times. Which warranted three uninstalls, disassemblies, reassemblies, and reinstalls of his carseat.
  
• My 2yo had a seizure at the swimming pool on Saturday. We had to call 911. He was transported by ambulance to the ER. It was his birthday.
  
• Today I took my 2yo in for a follow-up on the seizure. While waiting in the exam room I gave him a tongue depressor to play with. When he stuck out his tongue I saw white patches on both sides. Turns our he has hand, foot, and mouth disease. Great.
  
• My sister bailed on her promise to watch my kids this fall while I'm in class. Childcare is going to be 600.00/mo.
  
• The kids spilled a gallon of green latex paint on the white bedroom wall to wall carpet.
  
• I took the minivan for a new battery and, four hours and 650.00 later, walked out with several new parts under the hood.
  
• Some giant shrubs and trees need pruning and don't know how/have the proper equipment to do it. The property management office has given me two weeks. I don't have the money to hire someone. Ugh.
  

I am just so done. So completely done. I don't know if I can take another thing going wrong. My house is a wreck. We've been living off of baked potatoes, frozen ravioli, spaghetti, cold cereal, and grilled cheese sandwiches for weeks. I need a break.

 

The silver lining: the plumber fished a toy thermometer out of the toilet this morning. At least I don't have to pay for a new toilet. :tongue_smilie:

[lynds2]

Nothing to offer but a thanks for your sacrifice and a :grouphug: I hope it gets better soon.

[FaithManor]

Virtual hugs! Thank you so much for the sacrifice you make for our country.

 

I truly hope that things get better very quickly.

 

Faith

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am so sorry that you've had to deal with all of this. I hope that your 2 year old feels better soon. Did the Dr. say anything about the seizure that he had?

[Punchie]

:grouphug: Everything always goes wrong during a deployment! I'm glad he'll be home soon.

[Tree House Academy]

If you lived closer, I would help you in a second! Sounds like you need a major DAY OFF! I am so sorry!

[Denisemomof4]

WHAT??!!! :svengo::svengo::svengo::svengo::svengo::grouphug:

[Kathleen in VA]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thank you so very much for enduring all this. I'm truly sorry you are having to deal with so much - I'd be a basket case in your shoes.

 

My dad was a naval officer and was deployed to Viet Nam in the mid-60s. I know my mom found it very difficult to cope - so much so that she had to be hospitalized for severe depression on more than one occasion. I don't think many people know just how difficult it is to be a military mom during a war. Again, thank you so much for all you do.

 

ETA: About the paint on the carpet - will insurance cover new carpet? I had a friend who tossed a melting aluminum pan onto her dining room floor, melting the carpet. Her insurance company replaced that whole floor's worth of carpet.

[MamaT]

:grouphug: Wow! You have had a hard time. I don't know where you live, but I wish I could help you out. :001_smile:

[Jennifer in MI]

Oh my! That IS a lot to deal with. Your poor 2 yo! And poor you. I wish I lived near you - I'd definitely help out! Do you have a church community? Could they help out with the trees?

 

I was also wondering how you 2 yo is? My now-10 yo had seizures and it was SCARY!!!! I pray all is well.

[kalanamak]

 

• Some giant shrubs and trees need pruning and don't know how/have the proper equipment to do it. The property management office has given me two weeks. I don't have the money to hire someone. Ugh.

 

 

 

Chainsaw at the base?

 

:grouphug:

[Pretty in Pink]

Chainsaw at the base?

 

:grouphug:

 

LOLOLOL! :lol::lol::lol: That would certainly show someone, wouldn't it?!

 

I was told the seizure was febrile; today the doctor we saw said that the fever may have been brought on by the hand, foot, and mouth disease. They are doing blood cultures to rule out bacterial infection, and we have a neurology consult in to cover all bases.

 

Can you believe I got almost all of the paint out of the carpet? It took about two dozen tanks of water in the steam cleaner and a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide, but now you can just see the faintest shadow of the stain in *just the right light*. Hopefully it doesn't reappear in a few days, as berber has a way of doing.

 

Thanks for the virtual hugs, gals. :grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

WHAT??!!! :svengo::svengo::svengo::svengo::svengo::grouphug:

 

 

Denise said it all! :grouphug:

[Britomart]

Denise said it all! :grouphug:

:iagree: Thank you so much for serving your family so your husband can serve our country. You're amazing.

[juelle]

I know it stinks to be told 'You're so strong!' when all you want to do is have someone make it all go away so you don't have to deal with anything.

 

But you're a good mama and a tough, loyal wife. May you be blessed many times over for each difficult situation you've worked through.

 

I do hope all are getting well.:001_smile:

 

(And super well done on the carpet. I spilled deep blue latex paint on our brand new Pergo floor 13 years ago. I still have the blue-stained dishtowels I was willing to sacrifice to save that floor.:D Save it I did!)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I have some thoughts on the bushes. What groups do you have on base who might be able to help you out? I'm thinking of the equivalent of the Chief Petty Officers Association or one of the chapel's men's groups or even the local Boy Scouts. Do you have something like Fleet and Family Services that you could call and explain that with your family's health issues, you are needing help. This is also the sort of thing that one of our churches often send people out to help with. (My dad is part of a chainsaw team with the Texas Baptist Men's Association and they frequently do larger tree trimming and repair.)

 

Don't feel bad calling around and asking for help with this. We are supposed to be helping each other out during deployments. "Call me if you need something" ought to really mean that. Both for the person who is willing to help and for the person who has to admit to not being superwoman and to needing help.

 

(Actually my other thought is to ask if pruning trees is really your obligation as a tenant. You might want to check the lease. I rent a house out in one of our old duty stations. I would expect the bushes to be trimmed by a tenant. But tree trimming is the sort of thing that I get billed for as the owner.)

[unity]

My dh is finally coming home in about a week after a year-long deployment. I think these last few weeks have absolutely been the hardest. When he first left I knew I had to take care of everything b/c he wouldn't be here to help out but now that it's so close to his return I find myself procrastinating thinking he can do it soon. So that means I have a lot of stuff just not getting done!

It just really seems that this last little bit before his return is d r a g g i n g. So I hear you on that.

 

Congratulations on getting that stain out. I had paint on the floor at Ft Rucker and they ended up charging us over $1000 when we moved out saying they had to replace all the carpet in the whole house...then they ended up bulldozing the house before anyone moved in! What a rip off.

 

About the pruning I got this tool from Amazon

 

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Decker-NHT518-1-Cordless-Electric/dp/B001K2YBA2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1281400536&sr=8-1

 

It's kind of expensive but it is so easy to use and I've trimmed all my hedges like crazy this summer. Not usually my job either but I got 'er done!

 

Hope your little kiddo is ok and hang in there!

[Dandelion]

What groups do you have on base who might be able to help you out? Do you have something like Fleet and Family Services that you could call and explain that with your family's health issues, you are needing help.

 

I was going to suggest this as well... My husband was deployed for a year in 2008 and the FRG (Family Resource Group) regularly called and checked in on me to see if we needed help with anything. I would assume there's some type of support like that available to you (for tree trimming and whatever else you might need).

 

Sorry you've had so many major issues all at once! That can be so tough. I hope your 2 year old gets healthy soon, and that you get a break soon too... :grouphug:

[sparrow]

Holy cow:svengo:.

 

First of all, THANK YOU to you, your husband, and your family. What a sacrifice to keep us safe.

 

Second of all, what's your poison? Chocolate? Mike's Hard Lemonade? I will seriously send you a case of either :D.

[jenL]

As others have said, thank you for your sacrifice. You are an amazing woman! A dear friend of mine is an Army officer, and I admire his wife tremendously as he has been deployed 3 times in the past 6 years for a year+ each time. Military spouses are incredible! Although it is not easy by any means, know there are those of us who are grateful for your sacrifice and your dh's sacrifice.

 

Hang in there & try to give yourself grace. Hope your 2yo feels better soon! :grouphug:

[katemary63]

:iagree: Thank you so much for serving your family so your husband can serve our country. You're amazing.

 

:iagree: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[i.love.lucy]

:grouphug: Wow. And here I was complaining that I had a bad day!:glare: Bless your heart! I don't know how you do it.

 

I will second/third/whatever the idea that you should get yourself some help. My church has a ministry to help deployed families, and I bet yours or a big one close to you does too.

 

Quite frankly I am flabbergasted that a neighbor hasn't stepped up to help you! Of course, you may be on base and there simply isn't anyone around or there are too many in your same spot. But if not, surely a neighbor has noticed that you are struggling? What has happened to kindness and human decency in this world! Why couldn't a neighbor be there for you to call her husband to trim the bushes and trees? Or to come over to stay at your house while you take the little one to the ER and let everyone else sleep? Can no one give you a break, a day off? I don't know, maybe you are tired of asking. I know how that feels. It's so nice if someone could anticipate your needs and try to be there for you without you having to ask.

 

This post makes me want to try harder to notice my neighbors and make an effort to help them. My elderly MIL has one neighbor (also an older lady but not quite as old and not disabled) who will bring in her trash can from the street. All these men all around and NO ONE offers to help a single bit.:confused:

 

:grouphug:

[unity]

I don't know if OP had the same experience as me, but I noticed that there were offers of help aplenty right when dh left. People were very nice, sympathetic, etc. Then as time went on, they just evaporated and my managing alone was the new normal and I sort of got the impression I was supposed to deal with issues myself. It's been ages since anyone other than my mom has helped in a meaningful way.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

:grouphug: I totally understand where you are comming from! My husband's been deployed too. It seems everything happens when the they are deployed.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My dh is finally coming home in about a week after a year-long deployment. I think these last few weeks have absolutely been the hardest. When he first left I knew I had to take care of everything b/c he wouldn't be here to help out but now that it's so close to his return I find myself procrastinating thinking he can do it soon. So that means I have a lot of stuff just not getting done!

It just really seems that this last little bit before his return is d r a g g i n g. So I hear you on that.

 

QUOTE]

 

I'm a lot shorter than dh. He can just reach up and change a lightbulb. I have to stand on a chair. When he's due back from an underway, I have to go around and replace all the bulbs that I've put off changing. When he came back from a month or so away while I had a newborn, I think I had six different bulbs of at least two types that I had to take care of.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Sorry for all the troubles! I wish I could give you a day off!

[unity]

 

I'm a lot shorter than dh. He can just reach up and change a lightbulb. I have to stand on a chair. When he's due back from an underway, I have to go around and replace all the bulbs that I've put off changing. When he came back from a month or so away while I had a newborn, I think I had six different bulbs of at least two types that I had to take care of.

 

ROFL! I have changed 4 lightbulbs this week for the same reason. And one of my hard-wired smoke detectors was blipping for 3 weeks for a low battery before a firefighter friend came over for another reason and insisted on doing it immediately. But in my defense, that darn detector was too high for me to reach even with my tallest ladder. Sometimes it's the little things I miss--like how tall he is!

[Pretty in Pink]

That is a graet idea about getting help with the shrubs! Actually, I will contact my Family Readiness Officer and see if there are any organizations on base that help out with this kind of thing.

 

All of my neighbors are elderly and mostly keep to themselves. There is a very kind man down the street who stops by to check on us regularly. He has even taken the boys down to the pond to go fishing a few times, invited my oldest over for woodcarving lessons, and once he noticed a loose rail on our porch and repaired it for me while we were out of town. He's been very, very kind.

 

I can relate on the lightbulbs! LOL

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

I am just so done. So completely done. I don't know if I can take another thing going wrong.

 

:grouphug: Oh, I have so been where you are. I don't even have words. It is the most exhausting thing, being at the end of a deployment. DH's last deployment broke me. I know exactly when it happened, when our yellow lab died and I still had 6 months (including a second Thanksgiving and a second Christmas to go). I get weepy just thinking about it. That was the straw. Survival mode was my best friend. I started trying to take care of myself in the same way I took care of the kids, saying consoling words to myself and giving myself the same grace for poor behavior that I was forgiving in the kids.

 

The silver lining: the plumber fished a toy thermometer out of the toilet this morning. At least I don't have to pay for a new toilet. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thank goodness you still have your sense of humor! When you lose that, you're in the worst kind of trouble, in my experience.

 

I know it stinks to be told 'You're so strong!' when all you want to do is have someone make it all go away so you don't have to deal with anything.

 

:iagree: I am strong but man, I got sick of hearing it. I wanted help, not accolades!

 

I don't know if OP had the same experience as me, but I noticed that there were offers of help aplenty right when dh left. People were very nice, sympathetic, etc. Then as time went on, they just evaporated and my managing alone was the new normal and I sort of got the impression I was supposed to deal with issues myself. It's been ages since anyone other than my mom has helped in a meaningful way.

 

Yep, and it does not help a bit that usually most of your friends are from your unit so they are in exactly the same exhausted, sick of being alone and doing everything situation that you are in. I always rolled my eyes secretly when I heard about people calling the rear detachment guy for help with household stuff like trimming limbs or mowing lawns but on a certain level, I think I was also jealous that other people didn't have a problem asking for help.

 

OP, hang in there! Your wait will be over soon! As for me, I think I have another 9-12 month deployment looming in my near future. How sad that I think 9 months will be a cakewalk. Hey, there won't even be any of the major holidays involved! Sad what we see as good news. :grouphug:

[Pretty in Pink]

OP, hang in there! Your wait will be over soon! As for me, I think I have another 9-12 month deployment looming in my near future. How sad that I think 9 months will be a cakewalk. Hey, there won't even be any of the major holidays involved! Sad what we see as good news. :grouphug:

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[MariannNOVA]

If there isn't help from the base in some way then call the nearest good sized church and just tell the receptionist that you have a deployed hubby and need some guy to come fix up the hedges. You don't have to attend there to get help. I bet it would be done by next weekend.:grouphug:

 

I agree with what Christina posted above -- and I am guessing that you don't live in northern Virginia, right? b/c if you did I'd be over there to lend a hand. And, if you do, let me know. I will help.