Jump to content

Menu

Dog owners: WWYD?


Recommended Posts

We have a neighbor with whom we've had repeated troubles. I could go on with a long list, but suffice to say he is obsessive about his yard and "garden" to the point where living next to him is somewhat of a nightmare. Niceness hasn't worked, cutting down a row of perfectly good pine trees and replacing them with something smaller (at a cost to us of $1,000) didn't work, keeping the kids quiet and refraining from even "touching" his old, nasty chain link fence (that he covered with invasive ivy and then left for us to deal with, covering it over with a wooden fence on his side! :glare:) doesn't work, he's threatened to call the police on us multiple times for normal kid activities in the yard and has told us to "get off his property" while we were on our own (:confused:), etc. My kids are afraid of him, my DH has had to tell him to stay away from the kids and I, and we have perfected the art of ignore, ignore, ignore.

 

Now, however, he has stooped to a new low and I'm not sure what to do about it.

 

We have a beautiful, totally sweet, well behaved 2 year old golden retriever who is beloved in the neighborhood but who, unfortunately for our neighbor, is also a very good judge of character. She has not an aggressive bone in her body but has been known to bark at our neighbor when he is gardening along the fence line. ;) She is only outside when we are home, so if she barks we correct her and always bring her inside immediately. She is never outside at night or early in the morning and we are usually out with her, so we always know what she is up to. As I said before, there is no aggression but she just doesn't like him along the fence (I wonder why!). There is a portion of the chain link that he has left without the cover fence, so she can get up next to him if he is there...one kind word from him would have had her wagging, but he couldn't possibly be nice to her so she barks at him. Grrr. We avoid him when he is out there as well and usually leave the yard entirely...can't imagine why she'd not want him there! :tongue_smilie:

 

Anyway, all that to say that this morning I went out and found a bark alarm pointed directly at our home, within two feet of and at kid eye level with a spot where my kids play. No attempts whatsoever to conceal it, just pointed through the fence directly at us (and my master bedroom window, to make matters worse!). I did some reading on it and the directions clearly state that it can cause human hearing damage (but not canine) if you are standing next to it when it goes off. I have special needs kids, two of whom already have auditory issues, so I am a bit concerned. They play right there and since the thing looks like a bird house at their eye level, they are likely to get right up on it to check it out. Frankly, however, I am more insulted than concerned and am irritated that this guy just won't ever. leave. us. alone!!! Grrr. Takes a lot of the enjoyment out of living in our lovely, old renovated home.

 

So, fellow dog owners, WWYD? Given that talking to him about our concerns will likely either result in a call to the police or animal control, should we leave well enough alone or go ahead and address it? My DH has jokingly said that we should take it down and disable it during the night (we can reach it by hand over the fence) but that isn't right nor is it a good example to our children. We've already planted stuff in front of that spot but it will take a while to grow in. Are our concerns about the kiddos valid? Is there any reason to be concerned about our dog? I've already shot the thing with a water hose out of frustration but am trying to contain my baser impulses for the moment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Isn't is just the "going off" that could hurt your kids (potentially)?? If so, your dog will learn within the first few barks and then not bark within a close distance of it.... Perhaps you could just tell him (happily) after... that "wow" what a cool machine.

 

Our neighbors aren't "good news" either. My lovey of a dog hates them being around... and yet (I) am the one using the bark machine trying to make it so my dog will stop barking...

 

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Isn't is just the "going off" that could hurt your kids (potentially)?? If so, your dog will learn within the first few barks and then not bark within a close distance of it.... Perhaps you could just tell him (happily) after... that "wow" what a cool machine.

:)

 

Yes, it is the "going off" that is the problem, so unless the dog barked while they were there it would not be an issue for the kids. For the neighbor, who hates my kids, it will probably have the short term effect of their close curiosity for a while. We'll have to look at it and be irritated for a while, so I kind of like your idea of telling him that we "love it" if it works! He'd probably hate that...:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not familiar with this type of device. How does it work? Does it go off when a dog barks? Does it bark back or is it a loud horn like noise?

 

It emits a high pitched squeal that is painful to a dog's ears, but it only goes off if they bark nearby the device. Humans cannot hear the sound, but apparently if you are standing next to it when it goes off it has the potential to cause hearing damage. It is supposed to train a dog not to bark by causing it auditory pain if it does so.

 

Honestly, this is the sweetest dog we've ever known and she is very well trained. She will chase any squirrel or cat who ventures into the yard and bark at this neighbor, but she's a doll-baby in every other way. I can't imagine why anyone would want to cause her any pain.

 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that this guy's cat hops the fence every day and pees/poops in my yard as long as the dog is not outside! I've never once complained to him about that, though. Maybe I should start...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure if I understand the situation. Are you saying your dog might occasionally give one bark & then immediately stops? Because that seems extreme for him to react to that with an ultrasound anti bark machine....

 

Regardless -

 

I would just not let her out unattended. It's a pita but if she never barks, the machine will not be triggered. If I understand these machines, they work only when they're triggered by the bark of the dog.

 

When you are out there with her, you need to intervene BEFORE she starts barking. The split second she spots him/ hears him/ swivels her head in his direction you say 'YES!', call her, and give her a treat. You want to pair being around him with a reward from you. That will change her feelings towards him & make her less inclined to bark.

 

I know what you're saying about how this guy could end this by just being nice but fundamentally it's not his responsibility - it's yours. The fact that he's a jerk all around is a bigger issue, but on the issue of the dog, well, it's clear. Whether he's unrealistic or not, he's annoyed by her. Maybe he's frightened. Maybe she charges the fence when he's working there & it startles him. Maybe he's just a cranky jerk. Who knows.

 

But you DO have the ability to control this. Exercise the dog daily, provide on leash walks daily, take her to the park, play ball with her & just don't let her 'take charge' of the yard. It's your dog, your responsibility.

 

If it's the occasional single bark, then even if he did complain to animal control, they would not pursue it. A single or even a few alert barks once in a while are not grounds for anything. If you're worried, I'd also ask your other neighbours if they have any issues with your dog - just to arm yourself with good recommendations from other neighbours.

 

btw, I have neighbours who have visiting min pins & when they let them out for a pee, they'll bark the entire time on our fence line. It sometimes takes 5-10 mins before they finally get called inside. THAT is not ok IMO. (also not ok that one of them dug under my fence, came into my property & bit one of my dogs....:glare:; feisty little monsters :D)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd probably just put a nice sturdy wooden trellis right in front of it. Actually, I'd probably have fenced that whole side of the yard long ago. :glare:

 

I like your idea of a trellis! In fact, a nice piece of painted bead board down the fence would probably also do the trick and be a complete cover! The alarm won't work through a fence, so that might work! Of course, we'd have to attach it to his fence and he'd had a fit, but still...

 

We would LOVE to put up a fence and planned to do so when we moved in, but we cannot alter that side of the yard due to the neighbor's gardening attempts. It's hard to explain...we are at the top of a small hill on his side that has some erosion issues. The best way to handle it would have been to come in and put in a low retaining wall with a fence on that side, which we actually planned to do (and pay for) for him/us. Putting in a new fence without a wall would cause our 'investment' to fall over into his yard...precisely what is happening to his fence. He has chosen not to pay to have his ill-conceived, tipping fence removed and instead invested in probably two thousand dollars worth of trees and shrubs to line it on his side, even knowing our plans. This leaves us unable to do what we planned without severely damaging his plants...which would cause a ruckus akin to WWII! Since he didn't like the trees the previous owner had planted so as not to look at his fence (too much sun blockage over his garden and he thought they'd fall on his house :001_huh:), we took them out and lined the fence with arborvitae that will hopefully hid his fence and our view in a few years.

 

Till then, we suffer through him. Too bad, his wife is really nice!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure if I understand the situation. Are you saying your dog might occasionally give one bark & then immediately stops? Because that seems extreme for him to react to that with an ultrasound anti bark machine....:D)

 

It's probably along the lines of a couple of barks and some running along the fence, but it is truly minor. It's more that he doesn't like us in general and that he is the kind of guy that should be living somewhere where he doesn't have to deal with close-in neighbors...or any neighbors at all! If he could live where there were no kids/dogs/neighbors to make any kind of noise while he is gardening (but who'd love to come by for "tours"), he'd be pretty happy.

 

I like your idea of treating her while he is in the yard. She responds well to that sort of thing and it could definitely help. She is a really well-trained, well-loved, well exercised animal who just. doesn't. like. this. guy! Our neighbors on the other side love her, and know that we don't tolerate aggression. About a year ago, we had to send back a rescue dog with aggression problems (she had some neurological problems we couldn't train out of her...long story) just to keep everyone safe so they know how we are with dogs. They'd back us up!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be completely honest, it is completely likely that I would sneak out at night (in dark clothing and hat/mask/etc just in case he has a camera trained on the device . . . and not coming straight from my home but some circuitous route that would not be so obvious it was me. . . and definitely on a night he is not at home if possible) and I would vandalize said machine. If possible, I would damage it in such a way as to disable it permanently w/ as little obvious damage as possible, so that the owner wouldn't realize it for a long time. . . Crazy glue in various points? A blow torch?

 

I would refuse to answer any questions about such vandalism. Personally, I would do this w/o dh's knowledge or participation. . . and wink/wink at him when/if the subject came up so that dh could plausibly deny any guilt/knowledge (why expose both of us to trouble? and dh is the breadwinner and the professional license holder with ethics rules, lol). . . My kids would not need to be aware of ANY of this, and I wouldn't make them aware of it until they were adults and had crazy neighbors of their own.

 

I'd also put in a tall, solid, fence line, for sure. I'd MOVE ASAP if possible.

 

ETA: yes, I know that is "wrong" and illegal. So what? So is speeding. ;) IMHO, it's the lesser of the possible evils. Worst case, I get caught and have to pony up for a replacement cost. . . and legal fees. . . and some tiny misdemeanor type conviction. WORST case and so very unlikely.

Edited by StephanieZ
Link to comment
Share on other sites

How tall is the machine? I would go out and buy a little wooden wishing well type thing and place it in front of the machine. Tell the kids to stay away from that part of the yard if possible due to crazy so and so's machine that can damage your hearing if you are too close when the dog barks at it.

 

And I would definitely speak to him and his wife (together) about the cat pooping in your yard. That is much more offensive than an occasional dog bark. (though he obviously considers it more than an occasional bark -- or else he is a psycho with too much money on his hands.) If the cat pooping continues, pick up the poop and place it on top of the machine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well also have a golden about the same age. They are the sweetest dogs on the earth but not everyone feels the way we do about dogs and goldens. Your dog may be picking up on your feelings toward the neighbor which is causing it to bark at him. Our golden only barks when she feels there is a reason to be concerned or is really excited. Try to make friends or at least feel friendly toward him so that the dog may feel that way too. It not be so much that he is not friendly toward the dog but that you do not feel friendly toward the neighbor (understandable so) and the dog feels a need to protect or warn about the evil neighbor.

 

The neighbor sounds like he wants some peace and quiet while gardening and the dog (and possibly the children) are interrupting that. He is obviously a passive aggressive type who does want the confrontation but does want his quiet and is willing to pay for it. I would probably do the same thing if a dog's barking were annoying me (and I love dogs).

 

I would really try to be friendly to him and maybe have the children interact in a quiet way with him. Have them ask him about gardening and if he would teach them about his plants. Ask his wife his favorite dessert and make it for him. Say hi to him when you are outside, apologize if the dog is barking and let him know you will take it inside or for a walk. Ask he would like to pet it and get to know it (preferable after the food has been given). You may find that he is not that bad of a guy if you try to be friendly. Offer to help him with a project , whatever you can think of to be neighborly without crowding him. He may a stressful job or other difficulties in his life and gardening is his way to relax. Children and dogs can be disruptive when you just want to go out to your garden and relax. Try to see his side of it and although he does not sound very flexible try to be respectful. Good luck:001_smile:

 

Gina

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What a pain! I'm sorry for you guys. Sheesh! Some of these stories about wacked out neighbors just leave me scratching my head. I don't think I've ever had to deal with anybody so obnoxious (knock on wood).

 

Ooh, I wonder if that means I'm the obnoxious one :confused:

 

I hope you can find some resolution that will allow you some peace. Maybe consult a lawyer to see if there is any recourse because of the fact that this device has/can cause damage to humans.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, just :grouphug:.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angry, mean neighbors hugely impact quality- of- life. I would work as hard as I could to not live in fear in my own home because of such people. (I ahve had good neighbors, but I have worked with people who make life miserable and I can't imagine taking them home with me. Home is ideally supposed to be a sanctuary.

 

He may be the person who finds fault with anything and everything, and you could drive yourself crazy trying to figure out his next trigger. I would put in at least a 6ft privacy fence up, pronto. I would use Dave Ramsey 'Emergency Funds' if I had to. Protecting your children in their own home from mean people is not a luxury.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

As I said before, there is no aggression but she just doesn't like him along the fence (I wonder why!).

 

.

 

We have a one year old golden and he'll bark at people/animals on the other side of our fence, too. For one thing, it's a solid wood fence except for the lattice top which is up too high for him to see through...if someone/something is on the other side of the fence he's barking. We don't leave him outside barking either, but it's still annoying when it happens. I'm not suggesting that you try this, but I have to wonder if your dog would bark if someone in your family was moving along on the other side of the fence and she couldn't see who it was. It may be that your dog would bark at even the friendliest person since she can't see through the fence. I really don't understand why your neighbor prefers to put a stop barking device in the gap instead of closing off the opening so that there's no chance that your dog can get to him and possibly bite him.

 

I recently bought one of those thundershirts for dogs that was recommended here and it is helping with some of the unnecessary barking. In fact, one of our neighbors was gardening (and singing!) near the fence and usually I would have to take our dog inside but he was wearing his thundershirt and was able to stay out in the yard with me without barking at her which was pretty amazing.

 

I would not tamper with his device. I'd be afraid that he might try to poison your dog or hurt her in some other way. Since you said that his wife is nice then maybe you could try talking to her and explain your concern about the potential hearing damage from the alarm. And then also ask her if she knows of any humane ways to keep her cat from coming into your yard to do its business. (If this situation escalates beyone "humane" it's quite possible that you'll never feel safe on your own property.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You guys are really funny! Wish I had the guts to go out there at night and pull that or to put the cat poop on top of the machine! My kids would know, though...they always do...so I'll take the high road and stay indoors!

 

I sure do wish that being nice would work with this guy, as I sure have tried it! He has kids, too...my kids' age and I'd love for them to play. However, pretty much nothing we've tried has worked with him. (It does work with his wife, though, but she's not in charge of the yard! :glare:) We've been sweet, offered to do stuff for him, invited his kids to play, complimented his garden, allowed him to walk around our side yard and tell us everything he thought we should cut out, actually cut out a lot of stuff he suggested (as I mentioned, at a cost of $1,000), asked our kids not to bother him, the list goes on and on. He is cross-wise of the people who live on the other side of him as well since they cut his vines off their fence. It's sad. He's kind of known for being the neighborhood grump.

 

The dog thing is just the last irritant for me. Thanks for letting me spew! In retrospect, if he wants to hang the silly thing there, the truth is it will probably only help me further train my dog and that's okay with me. I just got irritated because of the history...if we had a better relationship, he could have just asked us about it and we'd have done anything to help!

 

We're going to put up a temporary fence until our plants grow in and just call the broken relationship his loss. I told the kids we should pray for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It emits a high pitched squeal that is painful to a dog's ears, but it only goes off if they bark nearby the device. Humans cannot hear the sound, but apparently if you are standing next to it when it goes off it has the potential to cause hearing damage. It is supposed to train a dog not to bark by causing it auditory pain if it does so.

 

Honestly, this is the sweetest dog we've ever known and she is very well trained. She will chase any squirrel or cat who ventures into the yard and bark at this neighbor, but she's a doll-baby in every other way. I can't imagine why anyone would want to cause her any pain.

 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that this guy's cat hops the fence every day and pees/poops in my yard as long as the dog is not outside! I've never once complained to him about that, though. Maybe I should start...

 

Cat poop is so nasty. Yes, I would complain. Your tolerance isn't helping anything and he will probably continue to escalate. Be nice when you complain (do to others as you would have them do to you) but unrelenting and escalate as necessary (ie videotape and call animal control)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I guess he's just one of those people who is bitter about life and there is not much more you can do but pray for him, as you already mentioned. I thought he was an old crotchety guy. I pictured him like Mr. Bleakman from the Clifford shows/books and maybe he could be won over but I guess that is TV land and not reality. Maybe you could ask his wife why he seems so difficult (imagine living with him!) Build what you can to separate your yard from his and try to avoid him.

You could also tell him the next time the dog is barking at him, "Sorry our dog is barking, but she just found another pile of your cat's poop in our yard again, that really sets her off!" LOL

I hope you can find peace with the situation. I still don't know how anyone could love a golden retriever.

 

Gina

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd either disable it at night as your DH suggested, or I would call the police. This is potentially dangerous to your children & that is not at all cool. What an angry, miserable person. I bet he leads a sad life, probably of his own making.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, I know that you all think it's horribly scary to have it, but... I really think that acknowledging it.... would be the best. Like I suggested before.... "So sorry about the dog barking; so happy you got one of those little bird houses to keep the barking down. We really want you all to be able to enjoy your back yard without the dog barking! Please let us know if we need to brainstorm with you about it... if the house doesn't work."

 

I do not want my dog to continuously bark... really don't like the neighbors and think that perhaps my dog is just a good judge of character.... and am ok with clicking a "high pitched sound" a few times to get it to stop.

 

Also, I am a bit afraid that they may set out poison or something... if they get too upset!

 

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...