I don't do well with jewelry

[battlemaiden]

At least valuable jewelry. Give me a hemp string and a bead, and I can make that work. :001_smile: Shiny things aren't my style- unless you consider pearls shiny, because I can make pearls work...and sometimes platinum...but not silver or gold or diamonds. :glare:

 

So I have this diamond engagement ring on my finger. I love it. I love it because of the memories and the symbolism, otherwise it DRIVES ME CRAZY! It snags on clothing, it wounds my children, and snags in my hair.

 

I have gone without wearing it for long periods of time, but when I wear it for "going out" my dh makes a big deal about how much he enjoys it when I wear it, so here it sits on my finger.

 

I have thought about having it remounted or converted into something else, but it seems like it would take the symbolism away. And quite honestly, I think my dh would be offended at the suggestion.

 

Unless {this is where you creative people come in} I can think of some sort of compromise....

 

Ideas? Experience? Tomatoes for even considering such and inconsiderate action?

 

Jo

[Mrs Mungo]

I never wear jewelry around the house (I have a few of those little crystal ring stands so I don't misplace my rings as much as I used to!). However, my hubby would definitely be offended at suggesting I turn it into something else. He likes me to wear it out as well. One interesting thing to me was that I was talking to a few people about this woman who is our mutual friend and one of the men was talking about how her husband doesn't take care of her the way a husband should and her not ever wearing jewelry out was one of his examples. I think men are trained by society to think that they need to show their love to their wives in a way that can be seen *outwardly*.

 

Hm..I'm not sure I'm making sense. :glare:

[Danestress]

I almost never wear mine. I hate how jewelry feels and I lose things. I have a very loose grasp on physicaly reality. So mine stays in my jewelry box where it is safe. I do think it bugs my DH a bit, but as I tell him "I never ever want to lose it."

 

If it you really want to wear yours, though, I would go to a good jewelry designed and talk to them about your issue. Perhaps there are other rings settings that wouldn't be as snaggy. It' might be a fairly simple change.

[Copswife]

I get a reaction from my wedding ring. :confused: On our 15th my dh surprised me with a new wedding ring set. I thought the new set wouldn't do what the old did (but it does), which is get my finger red and irritated.

 

I wonder if its a "gold" thing? Both rings were gold, one yellow, one white. Am I having a reaction?

 

Also, the white gold starts to turn and turns a yellowish tint after a couple of months. So, I take it to get cleaned (UV) at the jewelers and its okay for a couple more months.

 

Would platinum do that? Not that we could afford it, just wondering. Sigh.

[Mrs Mungo]

I get a reaction from my wedding ring. :confused: On our 15th my dh surprised me with a new wedding ring set. I thought the new set wouldn't do what the old did (but it does), which is get my finger red and irritated.

 

The anniversary ring my hubby gave me for our 10th anniversary did this. My unt told me it was from getting soap and/or water under the setting. I now clean it more regulary, remove it when I'm cleaning in the house and I haven't had that problem since then.

[Colleen]

I have only encountered the concept of engagement rings here in America and to be honest, the tradition has never been important to me. I don't have one and since I'm definitely *not* a "jewel" person, I certainly wouldn't wear the traditional kind that are so common. (Actually, I don't wear, or even own, my wedding ring.) Any-hoo, can't you just wear yours now and then, when going out with your dh or some such? Is it really so important to him that you wear it on a daily basis? I guess I assumed that kind of sentimentality was more of a female thing. I'd just tell him the ring holds great meaning to you but you prefer not to wear it on an every day basis.

[PrairieAir]

I don't have any suggestions, but I feel the same way about jewelry.

 

The one exception has been my very inexpensive and small engagement ring and the wrap around wedding ring. I had to have it cut off my finger a few years ago after putting it on the wrong hand after a very long, hard day of work. (Duh!) It needed a new basket and some other things done and I just haven't gotten around to having it repaired.

 

Dh's wedding ring got ripped off at work (construction) and almost took his finger with it. Both rings sit together in my jewelry box. At least their together, right? :D Dh has talked often about buying me a new ring--something bigger and "better". At first I wanted only my original wedding ring, but I am not thinking I'd like something different, maybe silver and turquoise with a meaningful design. We've toyed with the idea of wedding ring tattoos, but we're not sure they would come out looking right.

[Unicorn.]

I don't have a diamond, (hate 'em) but my lovely emerald ring has shredded the pockets of my jeans! I have no advice, just lots and lots of empathy!

[battlemaiden]

I have only encountered the concept of engagement rings here in America and to be honest, the tradition has never been important to me. I don't have one and since I'm definitely *not* a "jewel" person, I certainly wouldn't wear the traditional kind that are so common. (Actually, I don't wear, or even own, my wedding ring.) Any-hoo, can't you just wear yours now and then, when going out with your dh or some such? Is it really so important to him that you wear it on a daily basis? I guess I assumed that kind of sentimentality was more of a female thing. I'd just tell him the ring holds great meaning to you but you prefer not to wear it on an every day basis.

 

Well then growing up in America kind of explains why we followed that tradition. We also had the shower, the church, the flowers, the reception, and the honeymoon. But we mostly did those things for our parents- except the honeymoon;). Wedding traditions are more for the parents anyway. Back to the ring. It wasn't really my style back then either. But he had to have *something* to hand me when he took me back to the place of our first kiss and got down on one knee. It could have been very awkward if it ended there. ;)

 

I don't think he is sentimental in a female sort of way. He likes it when he sees the ring. He also likes tacos, when I wear knee length skirts, and to sit down with me on the weekends with a cup of coffee. I make and do those things too. But the ring is a little different. And btw, not wearing a wedding ring is a non option. We do live in a country that identifies people's married status by their left hand. In Hawaii, long ago, the way to identify a married woman was by the ear she wore a flower on. Societies do have their own way of identifying married status. I don't like the gold in my wedding band, but I would never, never, never consider ditching that!

 

Anyway, I already wear the ring infrequently. It just feels wasteful somehow. :001_huh: I'm not exactly sure why.

 

Jo

[Colleen]

I feel like everything I said didn't sit well with you. I'm sorry. I was just sharing my reality in an effort to try and connect some how. Best to you.

[Doran]

Well then growing up in America kind of explains why we followed that tradition. We also had the shower, the church, the flowers, the reception, and the honeymoon. But we mostly did those things for our parents- except the honeymoon. ...

 

Anyway, I already wear the ring infrequently. It just feels wasteful somehow. :001_huh: I'm not exactly sure why.

 

Jo

 

 

Talk this over with your dh. If he's not sentimental, but he likes when you wear the ring, why not tell him you could wear it a lot more often if it was set differently?

 

I followed nearly all those same traditions for all the same reasons (southern raised girl that I am), but I was older when I was engaged and had enough of a lifestyle figured out that I knew a traditional setting would NOT suit me. As it happened, I also have a friend who is a jewelry maker (who happens to advertise in Smithsonian Mag, if you get it). My diamond sits on very low profile prongs. I designed it with my friend's guidance. Dh did not have any part in the design, I might add, nor did he have it to give me when he asked me to marry him. :) I wore it straight through my years as both sailor and farmer without any issue.

 

I think a new setting is well worth considering.

 

Doran

[Mama Lynx]

Perhaps you could suggest a new ring as an anniversary present? Explain how your ring catches on things and is irritating, though you love it for the sentimental value. then find something he can give you that would not be as irritating.

 

My engagement ring and wedding ring are fused together. they don't catch on anything, or cause me any hardship. I'm so used to wearing it now, it's no big deal. I wear it all the time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

No advice but neither my dh or I wear our wedding rings. I have mine - I took it off after it started to turn my finger blue when my hands would swell (a fibromyalgia thing). My dh lost so much weight with illness that his fell off somewhere - we searched and searched the car, garage, the house etc. with no luck! Neither of us have been propositioned without them!

[Laurie]

A relative decided that she wanted to have a wider wedding band. She didn't plan to wear her yellow gold/Tiffany set diamond engagment ring, so she had it turned into a pendant. It isn't a definite heart shape...but the shape suggests a heart, if that makes any sense!

[Lady Katherine]

In fact, I picked a wedding ring without a solitaire because I was afraid it would get caught on things as you describe. It is "flat" with two rows of seven small diamonds - like an anniversary ring.

 

Even as it is, it gets caught on stuff. So for our 15th anniversary, dh bought me a plain gold wedding band. It wasn't expensive -- under $100 at Sam's. I wear it much of the time, but for church, dates, and other special occasions, I wear the diamond ring.

 

At our church, every Sunday morning the priest says a blessing over each couple having an anniversary that week. It's not exactly a vow renewal, but it is very beautiful and imparts symbolism on my "second" wedding ring.

 

Would something like that work for you?

[Tap]

Dh and I have been married for 14 years. The ring I wear wasn't a significant or thoughtful purchase to us at the time. Someone was selling the ring, we needed one and the price was right. I never loved the design of the ring, but it remains my wedding ring and the symbolism behind that stands. Right now, it needs repair and I don't want to spend money repairing it. I haven't worn it in months and it drives dh nuts!

 

We have decided to keep my ring, and then when dd gets married (or another significant event) we will have it combined with a ring my mother gave me when I turned 18, and a ring that my MIL gave me (we share a sapphire birthstone-could be her something blue at her wedding) and let dd have a piece of jewelry made from it. In this piece of jewelry, she will have a part of her mother's and 2 of her grandmother's rings. We will save the excess gold and stones that she doesn't use for a future gift. Dh is very happy with this plan.

 

I will replace my ring with a small ring, possibly just a gold band for the time being. My ring also caught on everything and I have really enjoyed not having to worry about it the past few months :)

 

I hope your dh comes around to seeing your need for practicality can meet with his ideals. Maybe you can come up with a new plan that you both can be happy with.

 

Good luck,

Tap

[Marie in Oh]

about nine years ago. It was a very high setting and got caught on alot of things. I liked it alot better.

 

Then, 3 years ago, for our 13th anniversary, dh took me to a real jewler, and had me pick out a new arrangement-- we took the original diamond and sit it on the left of a larger one and then one the same size on the other side-- so 3 diamonds a smalller one on either side of a larger one.

 

I am so not a jewelry kind of gal, but I love my "new" ring. The setting is shorter than normal so they don't snag stuff. It is still very sentimental as it has the original stone in it. I never take it off, am used to it, and it is the only jewelry I typically wear.

 

I have my ears pieced but I rarely wear earrings. I would talk to your dh, having it reset to a shorter height will make a huge difference and not cost a ton of money. I think it is very sweet you want to honor your dh in this way. I mean, almost 7 kids later and you are still concerned about his preferences speaks volumes. I think he will be thrilled.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I am the same way about jewelry. When dh and I got engaged, which was really more like negotiating a contract than a romantic moment, I choose the setting for my engagement ring specifically for its "non-snag" properties.

 

I vote for snagging him with it "accidentally" and then talking up how often that happens to you. Then maybe discuss getting a new setting?

 

Although, FWIW, I am not a sentimental person at all and yet when dh wanted to change his wedding band to a thicker one, I was a little put out at first since it wouldn't be the band that the minister blessed. But I am over it now. :chillpill:

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

:iagree: I do not care for jewelry. I wear a beautiful cameo necklance that my father gave my sisters and I (well, sort of...more on that in a sec). That is it. When my husband and I got engaged, we found a beautiful emerald engagement ring (we picked it out together). I loved the symbolism of it but it was a constant pain to type with (or anything else for that matter). It would always turn around on me.

 

When we got married, we had simple gold bands. My engagement ring wouldn't sit comfortably next to the wedding band, so I took it off and rarely wear it now (I really need to get it resized down a little so it will fit better...one day - been saying that for 10 years!).

 

Now I don't wear my wedding band but that is not my choice. Some a&*hole at the hospital did not bring my clothes and jewelry to my dh while I was having surgery (like we were told) and my jewelry was never seen from again. :cursing: I "lost" my wedding band, the original cameo my father gave me (I got the exact same one tho it is a little bigger) and my watch my grandmother gave me. After much complaining, they gave me a check to replace the items but I have yet to get another wedding band. It just seemed "wrong" to me. That was over 2 years ago. I still am sad about it but it probably ended up in a pawn shop.

 

Now that our 10 year anniversary is coming up, dh is *supposed* to get me an anniversary band of some sort (with the help of Lady_Dulcinea as my hubby would need a lot of help choosing). I can't wait to have a ring on my finger again and something that means something to us. I am sure not having a ring on my fingers saddens dh a bit over the past few years (again, I could have put on my engagement ring but it just irritates me and he knows that). So I can understand that it would sadden your dh to have you change the setting on your ring.

 

You could try putting it on a nice chain and wear it around your neck. I always thought that when women did that, it was a nice way to show off a ring. It is not the usual place to wear one so it sticks out and people notice it more. :)

[Antonia]

No advice as I am the same. I don't even wear my -gasp!- wedding ring because it just bothers my finger. I wear a watch out of necessity, and that's it. Hope you figure it out.

[Peek a Boo]

Well then growing up in America kind of explains why we followed that tradition. We also had the shower, the church, the flowers, the reception, and the honeymoon. But we mostly did those things for our parents- except the honeymoon;). Wedding traditions are more for the parents anyway. Back to the ring. It wasn't really my style back then either. But he had to have *something* to hand me when he took me back to the place of our first kiss and got down on one knee. It could have been very awkward if it ended there. ;)

......

But the ring is a little different. And btw, not wearing a wedding ring is a non option. We do live in a country that identifies people's married status by their left hand. In Hawaii, long ago, the way to identify a married woman was by the ear she wore a flower on. Societies do have their own way of identifying married status. I don't like the gold in my wedding band, but I would never, never, never consider ditching that!

 

Anyway, I already wear the ring infrequently. It just feels wasteful somehow. :001_huh: I'm not exactly sure why.

 

Jo

 

 

well, i kinda disagree with all this.

 

I never wear my ring and haven't encountered a huge problem.

Our society doesn't *insist* that one show they are married, even here in the south.

The only thing that really matters is that we remember we ARE married ;)

My dh didn't have an engagement ring when he proposed.

We didn't find it awkward ;)

 

We were given one later by a very sweet uncle after he found out we were engaged and I didn't have a ring. It has plenty of sentimental value as a family heirloom.

 

Of course, we got married in an airplane hangar too, lol. Maybe we're just natural non-comformists....

 

I always kinda wondered about rings in general. I too do NOT wear jewelry. i find it completely impractical, lol. My one exception is earrings, but I'm so darn picky about the specifics that i have ONE style i buy multiple pairs of.

 

I had to LOL at the wedding ring tattoo solution --I have been telling dh to just let me get a tattoo for YEARS! i never wear my ring. i lose stuff. I know it tends to bother dh, but he'd be even more upset if I lost the darn thing. For a while i wore it on a chain around my neck, but even that has gone by the wayside since I started wearing my ocarina around my neck several years ago [hey-- i can PLAY an ocarina!]. The two kept getting tangled and caught on each other. It was a nice transitional kinda thing to sitting in the jewelry box tho. As far as I'm concerned, the ring did its job and gets to retire peacefully in my jewelry box.

 

Now I might suggest we get a special 15-year anniversary ring, but i would insist it be FLAT! nothing sticking out!

[Stacy in NJ]

Hmm, Can you tell dh how much the ring means to you but that you might like a different setting, or a change to earring or a pendant? I enjoy my modest amount of bling-bling, it makes me feel like a delicate little flower, but jewlery should feel good when you wear it. I have a flat, gold medallion ring that I like even more than my engagement ring. It doesn't catch on clothing or hair and makes my short fingers look, somehow, more attractive (at least to me).

[RebeccaC]

I am not much for conspicuous consumption :001_smile: however I always wear my wedding ring. I wear it because it in is what is called a ''Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li'' (I am my beloved and my beloved is mine), http://www.baltinester.biz/product.asp?product=541 This link shows a photo of a very similar ring, in fact almost the same ring. It is taken from Song of Solomon 6:3

" I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine "

The lettering is Hebrew. My dh went to Israel and bought us a matching set just before we married he also bought my a diamond solitaire. When I went Saudi I had to leave it at home because it was a security risk :crying: To go to Saudi dh bought me a simple gold band. Just before I left our pastor remarried us with it in his office, me in air force fatigues and dh in his work uniform :D

 

Hated that ring but dh did not want me going without a wedding band. The first thing I did when I got home was put back on my ''Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li'' (I am my beloved and my beloved is mine) wedding band.

 

I seldom wear any jewelry of any kind but there is so much emotion wrapped around this ring that I almost never take it off. He almost never takes his off either. So I guess it is one of the few things on earth that I am a bit mushy about. I do take off my solitaire and go long periods without it tho. Anyway if it was just a plain band I probably would keep it in my draw with the rest of my jewelry.

[DIY-DY]

So I have this diamond engagement ring on my finger. I love it. I love it because of the memories and the symbolism, ... It snags on clothing, it wounds my children, and snags in my hair... I have thought about having it remounted or converted into something else, but it seems like it would take the symbolism away. And quite honestly, I think my dh would be offended at the suggestion.

 

Unless {this is where you creative people come in} I can think of some sort of compromise....

 

Ideas? Experience? Tomatoes for even considering such and inconsiderate action?

 

Jo

 

Like you did to us, sort of like in the quoted portion above (w/o using the phrase "driving me CRAZY", which might kinda hurt his feelings, lol - I'd recommend focusing on the snagging, and how one of these days you're going to yank a prong or two loose and lose the diamond - and the wounding - it's no fun to get scratched by a high setting), and asked him to help you pick out a new setting that wouldn't snag or wound, he would probably be open to it.

 

When DH and I married, the ring we purchased had recessed stones for the very specific reason that DH said, "Well, if we were out hunting and you lost or cracked your diamond, you'd be heartbroken." :) He was right. Of course, I've since lost the actual ring, too. (I am such a dork sometimes, I know.) And now I wear either a plain gold band, or my mother's wedding ring, which has a low-low setting and doesn't snag on anything at all. DH is good w/ that.

 

They do *get* stuff like that, if they know it's important to you, kwim?

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I don't have an engagement ring. I told my dh at the time of our engagement that I didn't want one, and he took me at my word. I'm not a glittery type person, and they just seem fussy to me.

 

Actually we didn't even have wedding rings for the first few years we were married. I belong to a church that has traditionally frowned on wearing any jewelry, including wedding rings. We came across a cheap set of wedding bands in a pawn shop, and bought them (just plain, gold bands -- bought for just the price of the gold). I then proceeded to lose mine, and went another year without a wedding ring. No biggie. Eventually, I stumbled across a going-out-of-business sale, and bought another plain gold band for fifty bucks. I found my original, thin band when we moved, but I still wear the better one that I got on sale -- unless my fingers are swollen. Then, I take it off. I sometimes don't remember to put it back on for a long time.

 

Again, no biggie. Like another poster said, WE know we're married (will be 17 years in May), and we act accordingly. I don't understand the fuss about wedding rings. I especially don't understand the engagement ring thing. I'm glad my dh didn't feel he had to prove himself to anyone by the size of the diamond he bought me. There are lots of things I'd rather he spend money on. :) (Our honeymoon was fabulous!)

 

So, anyway, I'm just posting to connect with Colleen. It's not a universal "American" thing. Not all Americans identify married people by their jewelry.

 

Blessings,

Suzanne

[Shawna in Texas]

I was given my engagement ring when I was 19 years old. It was a diamond solitaire and we bought matching simple gold rings to exchange at our wedding. I stopped wearing it when I got pregnant and it didn't fit anymore. I only put the gold band on after I gave birth because I nearly took the baby's eye out when I nursed her. After all that I started wearing it again. As I got older, I realized how impractical it was to wear it. So, I just wore the band. Hubby was fine with it. I think I nicked him a few times.

 

Last year, for our 10th ann., I was 7 mos. pregnant and he gives me a gorgeous morganite. It was to replace my band. With our short memories we'd forgotten that I'd have to take it off to nurse, so I have to do that, but it's fine. Some days I forget to wear it, but it doesn't hurt his feelings. When baby is weaned, I'll wear it full time.

 

DH outgrew his wedding band, and we've not replaced it. He finds he gets hit on less without it. :rolleyes: He wants to get something in silver. Or a tattoo.

 

I don't think it's unreasonable to get it reset. It absolutely doesn't take away from the symbolism. Many couples do get new rings (my grandparents get them every decade; they're going on 60 years), and you could get matching eternity bands, or poesy rings.