Co op rant!

[ciyates]

Overall we have a great co op but we have 3-5 families that consume massive amounts of time. They want exceptions made to their situations or the rules that are established for a reason bent to fulfill their families needs. I have to repeat myself over and over with these people. I tried to ignore them but when I don't respond they seem to get everyone else involved and then I have to do something. Of course they are the families who don't offer to teach, have children with behavior issues etc... It is enough to make you throw your hands up and move on to a new co op.

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry... I know it can be very frustrating, especially when you're in a leadership role. Hope these families "get a clue"...

[Chrystal]

Pretty much in our co-op you have to teach or help. If you teach you get 1 free period for each class taught. If you help you get 1 free period a day (we have 4 periods).

If you don't follow the rules or your child is a disruptment over and over, we ask you to step out of co-op.

 

I would suggest confronting the problem head-on. Don't ignore it. Maybe these families need to find another co-op that meets their needs better.

 

:grouphug:

[angela in ohio]

Find a way to get rid of them. Seriously. I have been doing this long enough to know that it is them or your co-op. Both will not survive, expecially if they like to gossip.

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

If they aren't teaching what are they doing to contribute? I thought all co-ops made it a must to teach or assist.

[Willow]

My dh is a teacher.....it sounds just like school....the parents are FAR more of a problem than the kids, and the kids are a pain....

 

Why are all the good teachers leaving teaching? because of the things you just describe. MY kid is gifted/LD/ADD/special/plain different, and you must change what you do to accommodate him/her.

 

Or "My child deserves more time than the rest". Dh points out a child in an average class of 45 minutes is entitled to less than 5 minutes of a teachers time. I expect it is the same in a popular Co-op.

 

Rant over and :grouphug: to you.

 

I would never either run a co-op or be in one, because of things like this. I am an independent homeschooler and proud of it! (mostly...when things are going well... and not on a Monday morning.....;))

 

Willow.

[Rosy]

Don't make exceptions for them--maybe they'll get the hint and quit!

 

I love my co-op--it is so much fun for the kids, they get to learn things that they wouldn't learn as well from me (or not at all), and the other moms are some of my best friends. But it works because our policies are pretty unbreakable, and everyone is required to contribute.

[mommaduck]

Pretty much in our co-op you have to teach or help. If you teach you get 1 free period for each class taught. If you help you get 1 free period a day (we have 4 periods).

If you don't follow the rules or your child is a disruptment over and over, we ask you to step out of co-op.

 

I would suggest confronting the problem head-on. Don't ignore it. Maybe these families need to find another co-op that meets their needs better.

 

:grouphug:

How does that work for mama's with littles or babies? This is one thing that has made me avoid co-ops.

[Pixie]

How does that work for mama's with littles or babies? This is one thing that has made me avoid co-ops.

 

In our co-op one of the class is "nursery" for the babies and there is also a class for toddlers so the moms can teach or assist.

[Carol in Cal.]

You smaile All. The. Time. And you say things like, "No, we don't make exceptions to the rules." Or, "No, I don't have time to discuss this right now." Or, "Your son is really precocious, but he needs to do what the other children are doing, or he needs to be somewhere else right now." Or, "Which class did you say you want to teach next year?"

 

Seriously, be cheerful and nice but don't give any room for argument. If she says that she will quit, say that you hope she'll reconsider down the road when this might be a better fit for her family. Or say that you'll miss them, and you hope to see them around. Don't argue that she should stay.

[teamturner]

The behavior issues wouldn't be a long term problem if you had rules for behavior and consequences for breaking them. Our co-op has behavior rules in place and if a child breaks them 1) the first time is a discussion w/the parent/teacher involved, 2) they are written up, 3) they are out of co-op. It's pretty simple to keep discipline if you keep to the standards in place.

 

I also don't know how you run a co-op w/o help from every mom. We don't have any free periods unless we're teaching an upper level class and need a grading hour. Otherwise, you are either teaching or assisting in a class all 3 hours. And depending on your teaching load, you either help set-up or clean up. Leadership needs to stand firm to the rules and standards in place and not make any exceptions for certain families.

 

Tell these families now what the expectation will be for next year and hopefully they'll decide to leave.

[Rosy]

How does that work for mama's with littles or babies? This is one thing that has made me avoid co-ops.

 

In ours, a mom can take a young infant with her wherever she goes. The older, wiggly ones go to the nursery. Moms can volunteer there or have someone fill in for them if they are needed. Even when I was teaching they'd come and get me to change a diaper or deal with a behavior. Some are definitely more family-friendly than others, though.

[TravelingChris]

I have been in three regular co-ops. All have had policies that everyone works. THere has been different policies with little ones in every place but generally, either the mother works in the nursery or she takes her little with her, if that is needed. In the co-op I am in now, all of us work 2 periods and have support group the other period. We have a very large group (over 500 people attending) and it works out well. I see some moms bringing their little babies to the support group meeting so I don't know if the rest of the time they are working in the nursery or just working in other jobs or teaching other classes. They don't teach any of my kids so I am not sure. But everyone does something or many somethings. I teach two classes, coached one team, and judged and timed for another activity. A mom I know who doesn't teach a class coaches an afternoon activity, arranges all field trips, and works in the resource room. This is just one example of someone who has kids in the program but isn't teaching. We have some classes that have many teachers like cooking and pe. Others like my high school classes have only one.

[ciyates]

Thanks for the ideas! This is my first and only co op and I have been tossed into leadership because everyone else is so burned out (which now I completely understand).

[ZooRho]

this cracks me up since there is another thread around here ranting about Coop rules. /yep every rule our coop has is because a family wanted something special for them. So a new rule.

 

OUr coop does have rules, not everyone has to teach-actually teaching is fairly limited BUT everyone has a JOB, either helping clean up or watching the nursery or some other type job. no choice about working.

 

and our coop has monthly mom's meetings-actually this came first the coop came after the mom's meetings so now the mom's meetings are required to be in the coop.

[Harriet Vane]

You smaile All. The. Time. And you say things like, "No, we don't make exceptions to the rules." Or, "No, I don't have time to discuss this right now." Or, "Your son is really precocious, but he needs to do what the other children are doing, or he needs to be somewhere else right now." Or, "Which class did you say you want to teach next year?"

 

Seriously, be cheerful and nice but don't give any room for argument. If she says that she will quit, say that you hope she'll reconsider down the road when this might be a better fit for her family. Or say that you'll miss them, and you hope to see them around. Don't argue that she should stay.

 

:iagree:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

You smaile All. The. Time. And you say things like, "No, we don't make exceptions to the rules." Or, "No, I don't have time to discuss this right now." Or, "Your son is really precocious, but he needs to do what the other children are doing, or he needs to be somewhere else right now." Or, "Which class did you say you want to teach next year?"

 

Seriously, be cheerful and nice but don't give any room for argument. If she says that she will quit, say that you hope she'll reconsider down the road when this might be a better fit for her family. Or say that you'll miss them, and you hope to see them around. Don't argue that she should stay.

 

I have 2-3 scouting parents who never seem to know what is going on, even when I have sent out multiple emails, made announcements to their sons in meetings, sent home written flyers and had previous conversations with the parents. One dad had a running litany of why it was the fault of several adults that his son wasn't advancing (rather than the scout not calling to schedule meetings, doing requirements or keeping track of his signoff cards). I will usually listen to him for a couple minutes, then ask him if he has had a chance to fill out the registration form for adult volunteer and which badges was he going to counsel again?

 

He hasn't stopped complaining, but he has stopped complaining to me.

[happi duck]

You smaile All. The. Time. And you say things like, "No, we don't make exceptions to the rules." Or, "No, I don't have time to discuss this right now." Or, "Your son is really precocious, but he needs to do what the other children are doing, or he needs to be somewhere else right now." Or, "Which class did you say you want to teach next year?"

 

Seriously, be cheerful and nice but don't give any room for argument. If she says that she will quit, say that you hope she'll reconsider down the road when this might be a better fit for her family. Or say that you'll miss them, and you hope to see them around. Don't argue that she should stay.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Lisa R.]

five percent of the group take up 80% of the time. Each group possesses some high-maintenance types that take most of the effort. For example, it's typically the same people that don't fully read their emails, get things confused, or complain about things most people overlook.

 

When I'm a participant, I'm determined not be to that person!!

[susankenny]

Our co-op is 4 periods & 2 teachers assigned to each class. You HAVE to teach or assist 2 of those periods. If you have babies or toddlers, they go to their class while you teach. If you can't make it to class, you are 100% responsible for finding a substitute. There are rules & guidelines clearly in place of what is expected from the parent & child/ren.

 

I'd work on getting organization and guidelines in place first and foremost. Then enforce them.

 

Hang in there!:)

 

Susan

[Sebastian (a lady)]

five percent of the group take up 80% of the time. Each group possesses some high-maintenance types that take most of the effort. For example, it's typically the same people that don't fully read their emails, get things confused, or complain about things most people overlook.

 

When I'm a participant, I'm determined not be to that person!!

 

The base we live on has an anti-drunkeness campaign called That Guy. I'd love to do a sign about That Parent.

 

But then the parents who ARE That Parent probably don't think that they are.

[Chrystal]

How does that work for mama's with littles or babies? This is one thing that has made me avoid co-ops.

 

We handle it the same way. Of course, those moms usually volunteer to "teach" nursery. And, of course, they must have an eligible child in K-12th grade to participate to begin with.

We were set up with high schoolers as the target and they and thier families take priority in placement. If a parent of a high-schooler has a baby they get first slot in the nursery. Those that teach and their families take priority over those that only help. (Teachers families take priority over a helper family even if the helper has a high schooler).

So, pretty much, if you teach a class or two your family is guaranteed a spot in co-op.