delaying academics for smarties

[shinyhappypeople]

I'm thinking about delaying academics with my younger DD (5 yo) and am considering backing way off of my older DD (6 yo). Anyone else with academically accelerated kiddos daring to do nothing (or not much) in the early years?

 

What disadvantages do you see in delaying formal academics? What are the advantages to early academics?

 

I've been mulling this one over for awhile and I appreciate your input :001_smile:

[Guest]

I don't see any problem whatever with delaying FORMAL academics -- that is, writing- or worksheet-based school. In fact, I read (and I'm so sorry, but I don't remember where; you could try googling around) that gifted kids benefit from extended time, up through age twelve, for free exploration, experimentation (not formal), and play-based learning. They make all sorts of connections in their minds that would be cut off if they were pressed into formal, subject-based school entirely. (Note the entirely. I'm not saying the study said unschooling or just letting them do whatever they wanted was great.)

 

Because my daughter had pretty severe dysgraphia and fine motor problems when she was young (still has to some extent), we had a curriculum based on games, activities, field trips, hands-on classes at the Wild Animal Park and art museum, the reading and discussion of books but very little writing -- even math was not worksheet based, because she just couldn't write numbers legibly until she was about in fourth grade.

 

This type of learning does not have to be supplemental, nor does it have to be fluff. You can find games and projects that are every bit as demanding, every bit as "rigorous," as formal academia. If one parent's story helps, here are a few instances of what happens.

 

When my daughter was around age seven she loved to play mixing stuff up in the kitchen. I would just let her do whatever she wanted to, as long as it caught her attention. Then I got anxious about the lack of formal structure and bought a science unit based on kitchen chemistry: it had all sorts of activities leading up to the grand end project of being presented with unlabeled powders (flour, salt, baking powder and soda, etc.) and figuring out how to identify them. My daughter turned to this page first, begged me to set it up for her, and promptly went right down the line feeling, sniffing, adding water -- she knew them all from her informal experimentation.

 

At age thirteen, she transitioned over into a conventional textbook-based algebra program with no problems whatsoever; she is doing physics from Hewitt's Conceptual Physics and loves it; she can write extended essays and is a wholly creative and engaged writer (with punctuation and spelling problems that are neurological in origin and will probably never go entirely away).

 

I did not go into informal learning -- by which I mean non-textbook, non-worksheet, non-written-assignment-based -- by choice, and I had panic attacks regularly through the years. But my daughter has benefited greatly from the extended chance to learn through both her mind and body, with activities that strengthened a wide variety of fine motor skills. And she wrote by choice during many of these years (although it was illegible for a while). She now has a great sense of voice, genres, and literary play.

[catz]

I'm kind of a fan of this for my 2 kids. I say this because even though they both are gifted (my 9 you son tracking as a HG-PG kid by minimal testing, I won't pay to fully test though unless needed. My DD5 is looking similar). We do shockingly little structured table work. We don't allow TV or recreational computer/video games before 3 pm daily. So they have lots of time to dip into their own interests. We do reading, writing, math every day. What that might look like is anyone's guess. We do lots of outings and field trips. We took a 3 week trip this winter.

 

What I've discovered with my kids is they don't need a lot of time or drill to learn. And sometimes they learn better if I back completely off. My son has learned to program on the computer this year and has done some science projects I wasn't involved in at all. My 5 year old LOVES greek myths and history and regularly dresses up and role plays the stories. I think there is so much value in that. I want them to have a child hood. My son is one of those kids that could be at college at 12 or 13, but unless he's clamoring for it, I'm not going to structure our days to get there even though it wouldn't be a stretch for us. I don't see him having the work ethic or emotional maturity for "real" college at that age. He'll clearly need college level classes at some point, but we'll enjoy these days now!

[JennW in SoCal]

My oldest ds started out at a Montessori school in preschool and continued until I pulled him out in the middle of second grade. Although he advanced rapidly at the school, especially in math, one of the reasons I pulled him out was that I realized he was learning more through my style of parenting and living than he was at the school.

 

He was 7, his brother 4, when we started homeschooling. I did very little in the way of formal academics for the next 3 or 4 years. We kept up with math, but played math games and did fun word problems, they did some handwriting practice, spelling and copywork. Mostly we read huge stacks of books, went to the zoo or museums or just out and about. We played games and they spent hours creating huge creative messes with legos and craft projects of their own invention. I followed their interests as deeply as they wanted to go. I introduced new topics to see if something new might strike their fancy.

 

I read, and dismissed, the WTM -- it was first published when I started homeschooling. I knew how my kids learned and it didn't fit. When I re-read it a few years later when my oldest would be technically starting with the logic stage, it started to make sense, so I slowly introduced more and more formal academics. Most radical of all, I didn't do formal science until high school.

 

The advantage of this is that my kids have a very broad range of knowledge which they picked up because they were interested. They also specialized in topics over the years, and by their teens settled into what they love the most. They were never bored -- there was always something they wanted to explore (until they hit puberty when all higher brain function seems to temporarily shut down).

 

Another advantage is that we have wonderfully warm memories of those early homeschool years of reading and playing together. We had battles too, every family does, but the boxes of homeschool stuff are filled not with worksheets but with their unique creations -- stories and home-made pokemon cards.

 

Disadvantages? Really, I see none in backing off in the early years -- backing off in formal education but not in the feeding of their curiosity. My kids are fine young men -- bright, engaged, articulate and thoughtful. I wouldn't trade those early years for anything.

[musicianmom]

I've pondered this a lot. Here's my conclusion.

 

I am a very stressed-out mother who cannot handle letting the kids loose in the kitchen or the craft box to make messes. We live in suburbia, so I can't let my 4-year-old loose outside to explore nature. I have a huge house, a messy family, and no funds for a cleaning lady. I have a baby who keeps me up a lot at night, a 2-year-old who is fulfilling all the "terrible 2s" stereotypes right now, a husband who works all the time, and some stressful family issues. As much as I hate it, my gifted daughter is cooped up in the house a lot, I don't have the mental energy to plan a lot of fun informal learning activities, and she is not all that inclined right now to seek things out for herself.

 

However, I can keep a math book and spelling book nearby, and when everything is calm, we can work on them for a few minutes. I'm buying Sonlight for K next year because it's supposed to be open-and-go, and maybe I can fit it in around the two toddlers.

 

People act like doing formal academics is what keeps kids from being able to have fun and "be kids", whatever that means. No, the life circumstances keep my daughter from being able to have all the wonderful experiences she should have. The formal academics provide a break from her fighting with her sister and pestering me for screen time.

[catz]

People act like doing formal academics is what keeps kids from being able to have fun and "be kids", whatever that means.

 

I certainly don't think this at all. Some kids and families *NEED* the structure of more formal academics for whatever reason. Whatever works for you! It is very important to me my kids are learning. What I've discovered, is what I thought we'd be doing (more structured curriculum), doesn't necessarily work best for my kids.

 

I've discovered homeschooling my own EG kid (2nd one up and coming) is that all the rules change. We are in our 2nd year of homeschooling. I had this vision of getting X amount of work done a day and having a nice neat curriculum for each subject. That doesn't work well for him. I've cracked books to discover my DS9 already has a lot of that knowledge.

 

I have a very messy house, BTW! :tongue_smilie: Drives me nuts.

[Gratia271]

I've discovered homeschooling my own EG kid (2nd one up and coming) is that all the rules change. We are in our 2nd year of homeschooling. I had this vision of getting X amount of work done a day and having a nice neat curriculum for each subject. That doesn't work well for him. I've cracked books to discover my DS9 already has a lot of that knowledge.

 

This describes precisely how we were with our first dd. I planned things out for a semester, and we were done in two weeks. I agree with the other posts that you have to find what works for you and for your children. We have experienced, or shall I say, I have encountered a steep learning curve in teaching my children because of their profound abilities. What I thought school should look like rarely coincided with what actually happened. I am always deconstructing and then reconstructing. Even now (6 years into it), I struggle with the dynamic sometimes. Fortunately, my children don't. I think the best thing to do is for each family to find what works best for them and forget about what everyone else is doing. :001_smile:

[Amber in AUS]

I think it really depends on the child and your families dynamics. I think i would have ended up in an institution if i had delayed academics with my DD, she literally drove me nuts until i started formal work with her. She really needs to be stretched mentally everyday in order to be calm. Teaching her to read was a saving grace!

[mmpmelmack]

I think it really depends on the child and your families dynamics. I think i would have ended up in an institution if i had delayed academics with my DD, she literally drove me nuts until i started formal work with her. She really needs to be stretched mentally everyday in order to be calm. Teaching her to read was a saving grace!

 

Exactly, I dont think you can just say this will work for any one child. DS wants school work, and more then I can keep up with, and more then I sometimes want to do. DD ( not mine, She is here just for preK) would do very well with a very laid back approach, she would love it, as it is her mom pays me to homeschool her, so I do more formal work with her then i would if she was my own.

 

Every child and everyfamily are different. If it works for you, and you and you munchkins are happy with it. Then do it. you know your kids best!

[KC in KS]

I'm thinking about delaying academics with my younger DD (5 yo) and am considering backing way off of my older DD (6 yo). Anyone else with academically accelerated kiddos daring to do nothing (or not much) in the early years?

 

I'm daring to do it.

 

My DD is 5, with an October birthday, so I went ahead and called this year pre-k. We do about 20 minutes of bookwork twice a week, just to get her used to the idea (and force me to figure out how to fit it in our week!)

 

For her, it's working really well. She's pushing ahead on things she wants to learn - right now she's driving me crazy wanting to learn to spell, because she wants to start keeping a diary. So the fact that in "school" we did a single handwriting book to teach her to make the letters was just enough - she's doing more with her own projects than I'd ever ask as an assignment.

 

For all the rest, it's reading books and answering her questions. Call it delight-directed or unschooling, or whatever... at this age, she's not emotionally ready for a curriculum. Actually, that's been the biggest lesson she's had to learn this year - how to tackle an assignment that "looks too hard". She's getting there - she's much more confident now than she was in September. She just needed time to grow and practice in the skills. If I'd tried to set a schedule commensurate with her intellectual abilities, she'd have melted down and we'd have spent years rebuilding her confidence.

[shinyhappypeople]

Thank you very much for all the replies. I'm still not sure what I want to do. I feel like I'm screwing up my girls' education. (Kind of a downer day for me) I haven't been great at consistency this year. I've done better the past couple of weeks, but for the most part I've felt overwhelmed. A big part of it has been 6 yo DDs horrific tantrums toward any structured learning last fall (fall-out from her lousy K year at PS. She wasn't like this before). Her behavior has settled down quite a a bit, though she still pushes back and tries to whine her way out of work.

 

Another thing is that both DH and I are ademically "gifted" (I dislike that word) and underachieved through most of our school years. DH was in GT class, but that did nothing to spark a love for learning. I had a tough time in school because I was bored-bored-bored-bored, plus we moved A LOT (6 or 7 K-6 schools, I think) and that meant that there were definite gaps in my learning (esp. math).

 

So... I want her to have freedom to follow her bliss and not be bored by my academic agenda for her. I mean, I seriously feel a little sick when I hear of kids doing HOURS of seatwork a day. That's so NOT what I want to do! But, I also don't want her to have gaps that can definitely handicap her later on.

 

Thanks for listening...

[Embassy]

I went the unschooling route all through preschool for my oldest ds. He was so thirsty for learning so I started formal academics when he was 5.5. I started my younger son around age 4.5, but it was very minimal until he turned 5. I unschooled the second half of my son's Kindergarten year too.

 

I still love unschooling, but it doesn't totally work for us. I've found that having a lot of hands-on and active learning is essential. It makes school days longer, but it makes learning fun. Sitting down at a table and doing work isn't my idea of fun either.

 

I think everyone is ready for learning. We just need to find the method that works best whether it is unschooling, living books approach, games approach, hands-on approach, or workbook approach. My boys are so different and I'm still trying to figure out how to best school them. My oldest is very auditory and a thinker. My younger son is very visual and creative. Because of their different learning styles I will have to approach their learning differently.

[Embassy]

So... I want her to have freedom to follow her bliss and not be bored by my academic agenda for her. I mean, I seriously feel a little sick when I hear of kids doing HOURS of seatwork a day. That's so NOT what I want to do! But, I also don't want her to have gaps that can definitely handicap her later on.

 

Thanks for listening...

 

Don't get sick here....but my kids spend about 6 hours in school per school day. Seatwork is minimal though. Some kids would probably love tons of seatwork. I know mine wouldn't. But mine do love active learning, games, and hands-on activities and those take longer than seatwork. You can also use her interests as the source for her academic work.

[LisaDSB]

I've struggled with this too (and blogged about it at some length). I've learned that the key to keeping my kids' love of learning alive is to give them ample time to pursue their interests and passions. Charlotte Mason called it "masterly inactivity". It's not wasted time, or time spent in front of the TV; it's productive, child-led learning. That said, I can't get comfortable with the notion of "unschooling" -- at least not as I've seen it in practice with other homeschoolers.

 

I try to balance masterly inactivity with scheduled work as well, so that they are being introduced to new things and so that they develop good habits and discipline. I do want my kids to understand that work comes before play in real life, and that they have to stretch themselves and accomplish things.

 

On a normal day, we begin at about 8:45 a.m. (after chores) with circle time where I focus on character issues. Then they have a 90 minute work period in which they usually get done their spelling, math, piano practice or theory, and grammar or vocabulary or poetry. (On Fridays they do logic and typing practice in place of a couple of those things.) Then, they get a half hour break to run around outside or do whatever they want.

 

Another 90 minute work period follows, during which they do languages (French or Spanish), creative writing, handwriting, reading aloud/lit. On Fridays it's different -- music appreciation and art.

 

A long break at lunch includes some phys.ed time and we resume about 90 minutes later with only one subject in the afternoon. That allows us to go as long as we want (they usually don't want to stop after 90 minutes, which is what I aim for). Mondays we do history; Tuesdays we do science; Wednesdays is usuallly a unit study, or if I'm not organized enough we do more history; and Thursdays is nature studies (may be switched to another day to take advantage of the weather). Fridays are a bit different as we do Latin, Geography and Living Math (or call it a week and play with friends instead).

 

So, they basically go from 8:45 to 3:30, with several good breaks in there. They don't have "homework" and they get their music practice done during that time, so unlike their school friends they have their late afternoons and evenings entirely free.

 

I don't schedule things so tightly (in terms of what needs to get done over the school year) that we can't veer from the schedule sometimes, and if they get on to something they are really enjoying and learning from, I can just let it happen and we try to get back on the schedule the next day.

 

It can be a bit of a seesaw sometimes, but it seems to work for us. I find that homeschooling runs much more smoothly if I'm not too rigid (which, by the way, runs counter to my nature). After all, they have very important work to be done in their areas of interest (and that's often what they retain better than the work I'm trying to force down their throats on a schedule!)

 

I know not all kids will use their free time on educational activities, but I'm betting a lot of kids whose parents are on this forum will. Today I broke free from the schedule a bit, as I needed some time to get tax stuff together. What did the kids do? They went off to learn how to speak German. They had some books from the library they got yesterday (incl. German for Dummies) and used the computer as well. They spent hours up in their "language lab" and came down later, in costume, to present a short play in German.

 

I couldn't schedule, or even dream up, something as beautiful as that. We have to remember to give them space to be those amazing little people they are.

 

Hope that helps somebody!

[LisaDSB]

Forgot to mention -- have a look at Melissa Wiley's blog post about Tidal Learning. It pretty much sums up how our homeschool works too -- some high tide (structured) learning, followed by some low tide (child led, poking around in the tide pools) learning.

 

It's okay to not really fit into one camp or another all the time -- in the end I think it will all balance out for your child.

[Reya]

You really think you could do that without them blowing something up or burning down the house inside of a week?

 

Wow.

 

Not here.

 

The kids need some rigorous mental exercise just like they need rigorous physical exercise or baaaad things happen. And barring that, well, it IS exercise, right? I wouldn't delay "academics" any more than I'd try to put off walking or keep them out of gymnastics.

[shinyhappypeople]

You really think you could do that without them blowing something up or burning down the house inside of a week?

 

:lol: Yup! They both draw for hours, play outside, engage in fantasy play... DD1 practices her gymnastics or soccer (she's not competing in either, though) or looks through one of her books about the human body.

 

DD2 could spend DAYS playing with her Barbies and dollhouse or with her baby dolls.

 

Now that the weather's nice (yay!) they spray each other with the hose and traumatize our cat (not on purpose... :) ) Oh, and they watch TV and movies.

 

They ask for La Clase Divertida on a semi-regular basis. The pattern is that they watch a couple lessons again and again over the course of a few days and then assimilate what they've learned (takes a couple of weeks) and then ask for more LCD. I'm planning to do Spanish tutoring for them next fall (maybe 121speech.com? Not sure, yet.)

 

They're very busy and curious people. It just doesn't look like school to me and so I start to panic. They're both above grade level in the 3Rs, so that does give me some wiggle room.

 

They don't seem to NEED my input in order to keep themselves entertained and learning. Their gifts seem to express themselves regardless of what I do or don't do.

 

Yes, they are capable of doing advanced work, but is there a real advantage to it at this point? That's not a rhetorical question. I really want to figure out an answer to it! If there's a real advantage, then that would help me figure out better what our next step should be.

 

I guess for me it boils down to the fact that I want them to love learning, more than I want them to be academically advanced. BUT... structured learning wouldn't necessarily interfere stunt their love for learning. Maybe? Yes? No?

 

Just thinking out loud. Thanks for helping me process my thoughts on this. Every pro and con argument gives me good food for thought.

 

(BTW, I in no way judge the choices of other parents. Every family is unique.)

[MUJLBE]

"But, I also don't want her to have gaps that can definitely handicap her later on."

 

If you think hard about this you will realize that all children have gaps-even ones that do 3 hours of school a day. My friends ds (11) has been thoroughly and classically homeschooled since he taught himself to read at 2 or 3. His mom is a teacher and has high expectations. He started Logic Stage (2nd history cycle) last year---and he had forgotten a lot of the ancient history he learned 4 years earlier. He is doing algebra but had trouble doing a creative math problem about fractions with me. This is normal-you lose knowledge that you don't use. My son knew dinosaurs inside out at age 4 but now has gaps-because he hasn't used that knowledge.

 

For a gifted child who is begging to do curriculum (I have another friend with a PG 6 year old who schedules himself for 10 hours a day of academics) then academics might start early. This doesn't sound like your daughter.

 

For a child who learns a large amount on his or her own without any "teaching" and has zero interest in curriculum, I feel that you do have some flexibility. Providing a "rich" learning environment does work for some kids. My ds at age 7 could do second grade math and language arts at an 8th grade level-and he never had a single math or language arts lesson. A year later he could do third grade math and language arts at an 8th grade level-still no lessons. He knows more about Einstein's theory of relativity than I do and read the Cartoon Guide to Genetics for fun. He has always loved living math books. It is an incredible amount of work to provide him with books and resources that feed his curiosity and stimulate his mind. It is just as much work as doing a curriculum. The benefit is that he is incredibly proud of his ability to learn and loves math and literature and science and music and mythology and religion. I know what his weaknesses are and I do require some structured learning in increasing amounts as he gets older. I am seeing an incredible shift in needs at age 9 and next year will be expanding his formal learning significantly. So far I have no regrets about our "delays"

 

Good luck in whatever path you choose.

 

Susan

[TravelingChris]

My kids never wanted to delay learning. They would have wanted to delay ( or skip altogether) some of what goes on in schools in early grades like writing a paragraph using all the spelling words but I digress. We did lots of book work, some math, and little writing. I don't consider what we did delayed academics but do know that I delayed writing more than is standard in schools. As it has turned out, all are good writers and one is particularly gifted. But the fact that I didn't force this on them i think helped them a lot. None have the strong dislike of writing that I have that comes from being forced at a young age to write paragraphs about nothing or page after page of stream of conciousness. There were a lot of dumb educational ideas that came out in the 60's and permeated the 70's when I was in school.

[jld]

Sounds like you're doing great. Why mess with a good thing?

 

When kids are ready for schoolwork, they'll do it. Little kids want to play. That's how they're designed. They weren't designed to sit and do schoolwork for 5 hours a day.

 

Obviously every family will make its own decisions. Feel free to make your own decisions. Maybe don't think about it so much. Just let it happen.

 

I'm sure everything will go fine. You and your dh are smart people and you have smart kids. Just the fact that you are questioning yourself and are open to other points of view indicates you are a smart gal.

 

My dd14 didn't do math, or any other schoolwork (besides free reading) before 11 1/2, and then just dove into it. Then she took about a year off, and then plunged back in. She told me she's not going to take any more breaks from math. She also doesn't believe in a 2 month summer break; two weeks is good enough for her. She's in Saxon Adv. Math. She's really in charge of her homeschooling. I don't know if that would have happened if I had been all over her at a young age.

 

Just relax and let them set the pace. If they want to do seatwork, great. If not, great. They will be fine!:)

[Reya]

For us, school gives direction to curiosity and an outlet, and it also "feeds" DS's fantasy life, enriching it. And giving them creative ideas that don't end badly, which is what happens when left completely to their own devices.

 

Also, I don't want there to be too big of a disconnect between my DC's levels and the rest of those in their college classes. This leads to bad things!

[Forget-Me-Not]

Forgot to mention -- have a look at Melissa Wiley's blog post about Tidal Learning. It pretty much sums up how our homeschool works too -- some high tide (structured) learning, followed by some low tide (child led, poking around in the tide pools) learning.

 

It's okay to not really fit into one camp or another all the time -- in the end I think it will all balance out for your child.

 

Thanks for posting that! It's comforting to me as a new HSer!

[Melenie]

:lol: Yup! They both draw for hours, play outside, engage in fantasy play... DD1 practices her gymnastics or soccer (she's not competing in either, though) or looks through one of her books about the human body.

 

DD2 could spend DAYS playing with her Barbies and dollhouse or with her baby dolls.

 

Now that the weather's nice (yay!) they spray each other with the hose and traumatize our cat (not on purpose... :) ) Oh, and they watch TV and movies.

 

They ask for La Clase Divertida on a semi-regular basis. The pattern is that they watch a couple lessons again and again over the course of a few days and then assimilate what they've learned (takes a couple of weeks) and then ask for more LCD. I'm planning to do Spanish tutoring for them next fall (maybe 121speech.com? Not sure, yet.)

 

They're very busy and curious people. It just doesn't look like school to me and so I start to panic. They're both above grade level in the 3Rs, so that does give me some wiggle room.

 

They don't seem to NEED my input in order to keep themselves entertained and learning. Their gifts seem to express themselves regardless of what I do or don't do.

 

Yes, they are capable of doing advanced work, but is there a real advantage to it at this point? That's not a rhetorical question. I really want to figure out an answer to it! If there's a real advantage, then that would help me figure out better what our next step should be.

 

I guess for me it boils down to the fact that I want them to love learning, more than I want them to be academically advanced. BUT... structured learning wouldn't necessarily interfere stunt their love for learning. Maybe? Yes? No?

 

Just thinking out loud. Thanks for helping me process my thoughts on this. Every pro and con argument gives me good food for thought.

 

(BTW, I in no way judge the choices of other parents. Every family is unique.)

 

You have described our day and the way I approach learning with my girls age 3 and 6. Yes, the 3 year old can read, but she does 5min per day with me on white board using OPGTR. The 6 year old does a little more than that, but not much. She is about to finish OPGTR, like you, I see that as wiggle room to do other things. We read SOTW, because they love it. DD6 wants to do it everyday so we do it several times a week, no work books, just sitting on the sofa and reading. We plan to repeat it again next year, because they want to. DD6 retains a large amount of it and even is she did not I would be fine with that.

 

My 3 year old loves math games so I play that with her. The 6 year old would much rather do crafts and play with the bugs in the yard, so be it. DD6 just ran in now to tell me she found a strange bug and wanted to know what it was. I looked it up on the PC, told her and there is science for the day. I am not an unschooler at heart, but at this age I feel the need to do less structure.

 

I feel that they are only young once and we will step things up later in life, but they are happily playing and happily learning as well.

 

Some days I feel the need to plan and create structure and I do, I spend a week planning an outline of what I want them to learn. Some times I use it and sometimes we go in a completely different direction. Either way they are still learning a great deal.

Edited April 12, 2010 by Melenie

[Storm Bay]

I'm thinking about delaying academics with my younger DD (5 yo) and am considering backing way off of my older DD (6 yo). Anyone else with academically accelerated kiddos daring to do nothing (or not much) in the early years?

 

What disadvantages do you see in delaying formal academics? What are the advantages to early academics?

 

I've been mulling this one over for awhile and I appreciate your input :001_smile:

 

 

This depends partly on your dc. If they are pushing for academics, I wouldn't delay. What we did at 6 was the three Rs and then pursued interests. I didn't add formal teaching on history & science for my second two until they were about 8. They have easily caught up and one has already surpassed her age peers (the other is only 9 so he's only ahead in math & in conceptual ability--he is a reluctant scholar unless he's pursuing one of his passions).

 

We do a lot of if/then conversations (helps build logical thinking), reading, etc.

 

If my dc had been eagerly demanding to do academics, I'd have done more earlier. Some dc are like this. Mine did what they had to and then were happy to go off and play, read, draw (depending on which one at which age).

[skaterbabs]

We unschooled kindy for Dot, and started her this year in CLE's 100 level (1st grade.) She *could* have done this work a year earlier, but we didn't. It hasn't caused her any issues unless you could blowing through two levels in one year a problem. ;)

[LibraryLover]

We 'delay' endless writing or workbook stuff at young ages, but we never have delayed content or exposure. I've never seen busy-work help a child get excited about learning and discovery. However, I have seen bright/gifted as well as more 'normal' kids shut down, thinking 'learning' is too hard because they were not developmentally ready for the formaility of sit -down work, writing etc. Once a child is in this mindset, it's very difficult to turn her around.

 

Older kids who are excited by the world have an intellectual understanding wrt why one does challenging written work and difficult problems in the first place. This is a cognitive understanding, a developmental one. It's not the same as learning a physical skill, such as walking; that is inborn and hard-wired in the same way most newborn infants know how to suck. Being excited about doing something hard, but realizing that one can manage it, even if it takes time and a lot of brain power, is more often a trait older children posess.

 

Some kids are like Mozart (tackling crazy stuff very, very young), and some kids are more like Einstein (tackling crazy stuff in the logic stage). It helps to know which kind you have. I personally don't have either a Mozart or an Einstein, but we do have our particular gifts, some very bookish and testable (high SATs at a young age, CTY, National Latin Gold Medal, blue ribbons etc), some more artistically creative (although also with blue ribbons and awards).

 

My oldest is 21, so I have known a lot of parents over the years, both hsers and schoolers, and ime, one thing is certain; sit- down work and writing (which people often highly value and see as academic) at young ages is not The Key to eager learners later.

 

I know an emotionally healthy young adult with a high IQ who was not reading well until close to age 9 , and struggled with writing at first, so they backed off and let him repeat K. He ended up with perfect SAT scores (800 math, 800 verbal), plus a perfect score on the writing portion. He graduated from Deleting Tippity Top military academy for privacy reasons. He is gifted in every way, and has absolutely no learning disabilities. He was working on other things as a young child, however. As a young child he was verbal, eager, excited about aquiring information etc. He simply was not ready (as many littles are not) for formal academics. He was, however, greatly interested in content, so they fed him and gave him space. This family greatly influenced my family and our thoughts about 'academics' for smarties.

 

And, of course, I add the caveat: Some samll children do love to sit and do workbooks and formal academics with lots of writing.

Edited April 17, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Brindee]

I think there's a HUGE difference between a few minutes of "formal" learning a day, and those that sit their kids down with a whole curriculum at 3 or 4 or 5 and push the learning!

 

There is ample evidence available that show that delayed formal academics does NOT make one behind their peers in highschool or college! In fact, it's the opposite! Kids that learn when they're ready, instead of being pushed when younger, often learn quicker and deeper because they are ready. They're older and can assimilate and retain more info.

 

I know that jld's dd is well into highschool academic work, and is basically just "eating it up"! Even though she waited until age 11 to begin, she is at, or ahead of, her peers in highschool!

 

Many of you are working some with your kids, and still allowing them to be kids. That's what's ideal for you! I think, as I said, the ones that think they need to spend 100's of dollars for their k'er and have them sitting and working all day "so they won't get behind" are pushing, and may be in for a child that hates school and learning!

 

Based on how people on this board define their gifted or brilliant or bright learners, ALL of my children fit into those categories, though I never realized or thought of them as such. My middle child was a delayed learner. He wasn't even interested in any of it 'til nearly 7. Then suddenly he couldn't get enough. My other two talked and knew LOTS of stuff at very young ages, NOT because I did a curriculum with them, but because I spent a lot of time reading to them, played with them, allowed them to explore their interests. I felt that did so much more than a curriuculum could because they were following what truly interested them, and how their brain was wired at the time.....

 

That said, I did alphabet and word recognition with oldest ds because he wanted to. I did the baby sign language with dd, and she was a great communicator when she started taking at a young age. She LOVED workbook stuff and coloring and drawing. I let my middle guy follow his interests in playing, because he wasn't ready for other things 'til he was older.

 

Soooo, I agree with what most of us are saying, do what's best for your child! Don't think you HAVE to do lots of sit-down curriculum stuff with them when they're little, cuz you don't! And don't feel guilty if you do some workbook type stuff with your child because they love it! Just don't do hours and hours of schooling when they're little cuz honestly, it's hard on most little ones, and they learn it faster when they're older!

[Catherine]

My eldest was in an understimulating school environment for 7 years and kind to "blasted off" when I brought him home. But this surge was confined to subjects and skills he was good at, not his weaknesses! I still had to pull those things forward incrementally, and in ways he could tolerate. So we've done a combination of more traditional school subjects, at a level and pace he sort of chose, and less conventional ways of handling writing in particular.

 

 

I have to say formal academics are so quick to cover in the age groups of your children I see little reason to "hold them back" if they already understand something and are ready to move on. But what I would NOT do is spend the amount of time a fifth grader would put into math, for a 5 yo, even if they understood it. IOW, let them progress at a pace that is comfortable for them.

[Jenn in Mo]

I went ahead and pursued academics with my sons when they were 4. They responded GREAT and we enjoyed it. They were ahead until they each hit 3rd grade. Things slowed down to normal around that time.

 

Seeing this and knowing that I was a less-fun person to be around during those years, I opted to postpone academics with my daughters and just enjoy stuff with them. I started reading Ruth Beechick stuff and incorporated casual math into our day, read lots of great books, and let them run around using their imaginations. This past year, we started academics (they are 6 and 4) that take about an hour a day. We're sitting on the couch and cuddling up to Living Books Curriculum books, plus about 5 minutes of math, using Rod & Staff. It's very informal and very unnecessary.

 

I honestly don't see any benefit to academics before age 7. I can't give you a good reason for us doing what we're doing, except that I need a more scheduled time-slot built into our day keep me spending more one-on-one time with girls.

[Storm Bay]

I honestly don't see any benefit to academics before age 7. I can't give you a good reason for us doing what we're doing, except that I need a more scheduled time-slot built into our day keep me spending more one-on-one time with girls.

 

 

The Finns agree with you :). Kids don't go to ps there until age 7. The only time I see a benefit to academics for dc under 7 are for those gifted dc who demand it or for 5 & 6 yos who are really ready. There are dc like that, and some of those will be ready for college at 9 (I read about a boy like this once), 10, 11, 12. For those kids, academics are like play (but of course there should be physical play, etc.) I think the key is readiness.

 

Plus, as sexist as this might sound, boys and girls are often different when it comes to this. Most girls are ready earlier than most boys by about a year, and this is not related to IQ. Desire to do academics isn't directly related to IQ, either.