Mom's with LD kiddos- pls help! I'm suffering from burn out!!!!

[3browneyedboys4me]

Hello wonderful moms!

My oldest son has never been officially diagnosed as LD. He is almost 12. I HIGHLY suspect he is. When he was in K, I took him to a local psychologist for testing b/c he was writing words and sentences backwards! She explained the process to me which was going to be extrememly costly (for the testing) and we just couldn't affort it. She did tell me that his initial test results showed ld that leaned toward dyslexia. So, I have basically thought of him as 'some what' dyslexic and leaned toward curricula that was geared toward, or at least user friendly for kids with this problem.

 

 

Now...fast forward several years- I'm exhausted and at a loss as to what I should do! I need help! The problem is almost overwhelming to me. I don't consider him severe, but of course, he is my oldest and I have no idea what severe would look like! Let me just say this-

1. He can barely write complete sentences. I still correct basic work for starting a sentence w/a capital letter and I STILL add a period to his sentences!! We've been doing this since K! Ugh!
   
2. He is barely on grade level with math. I'm on our third math program this year.
   
3. His grammar skills are very good, but he has NO idea how to apply them.
   
4. Actually, now that I think of it. He is excellent at learning concepts but horrible at applying them. He can learn all the rules for math skills like multiplying thousands by hundreds but it would take moving heaven and earth for him to do one correctly w/out any mistakes!
   
5. His spelling is absolutely horrible.
   
6. His reading is at best grade level and he has very poor pronunciation with multisyllable words. He gets totally tongue tied. But, believe it or not, he is excellent at comprehension! Go figure!
   

So, here I am with tons of questions as to what I should do. I feel like I am at this fork in the road. I was totally 'hoping' and expecting him to be well on his way to independent study next year. Well, we aren't even close to that. I still have to stand over him and 'drill' the math lessons into him. I have to go over every single reading assignment (this would be for reading, science, Bible, anything that required READING) to make sure that he understands and that it gets cemented into his brain. Otherwise, the fly that is zooming around the room will grab his attn and he won't pay any attn to what is in front of him. He takes absolutely NO ownership or responsibilty for his work. I can't rely on him at all. If I walk out of the room, it's a guarantee that he will get up and start doing something that is not on his 'list' of assisgnments.

 

I have two other school aged boys that are in 3rd and 1st grade. I can give them a list and they are capable of going down the list reading it and completing the assignments in less than three hours. The only subject that they dont' have that my oldest has is Science! I feel extremely guilty b/c I know they are going to have gaps in their education b/c I spend all of my time in a room w/my other son- going over and over assignements. And, unfortunately, I know when he turns his work in that half will be wrong!

 

I just broke down last night. I just can't take it anymore. I feel like neither one of us are going anywhere, and I'm leaving my other two boys to fend for themselves. It's just not fair to them.

 

What should I do? I've never asked for help before now...I'm just absolutely exhausted by my son...at a time when I need him to step up and take ownership, I feel like MORE is being required of me. The school work is getting more difficult, and I understand that. I just didnt' expect to be continuing to review basic things for the rest of our lives! I expected him to 'want' to do well...to try. Instead, I see him acting up all the time. If I give him any freedom, I will lose him to something else that grabs his attn.

 

Pls dont' get me wrong. I am compassionate and understanding about my son's problem, or maybe it's my problem??? I'm not "really" comparing him to his other brothers. I want to make that loud and clear. My oldest has 'these' issues, but he is also extremely bright. I understand all the upsides to dyslexia too. I understand that they are very creative, intelligent ppl . I do! But, how do I survive teaching him! lol! What is the best 'approach'?

 

Soooo.....I suspect a couple things: Ld issue w/ADD or ADHD. I am not willing to use meds at this time. I just dont want to go that route. I spoke w/my sister last night and she mentioned a very nice private school that specialized in kids w/ ld issues. It's pretty affordable, but is that the right thing? Ugh! Should I have him tested and labled and go from there? Does that realllly change anything?

 

Anyone that has experience w/ this type of problem, I woud love to hear what your thoughts are. Should I test him? Will that change anything? I realize that w/LD it is all about repetition. I do really understand that, but am I missing something? I mean, is there anything that can make this better?????? A teaching style, a curriculum, anything?

 

Thanks so much!

Bethany

[Renee in NC]

What have you specifically used to remediate his problems with reading, spelling, and writing? Knowing what you have already used will let me know whether the things I used would help.

[3browneyedboys4me]

I've basically used SWR for both the spelling and reading issues. We've also used explode the code books to help out too. What I've noticed with both programs is that he gets the 'logic' behind them. In other words, the rules, BUT he still doesn't get how to put the pieces together. OR, apply what he has learned. For example, when he has time to do free writing, he will revert back to phonetic spelling. He doesn't think to spell AT ALL. He just writes however it sounds in his head. BUT, I can have him sitting down doing spelling w/me and he will use the correct spelling rules and phonetics when it's spelling time. Does that make sense?

 

Other than that, and repetition...I haven't used any other programs. I'm not aware of programs. I guess that's where i am at now...what's out there for him? What can I use?

 

With math...we've just used regular programs like Horizons, I did Saxon last year which was NIGHTMARE, and this year we tried Chalkdust and quickly figured out that was way tooooo fast, and now we are using BJU5. He is struggling with it terribly. I just am taking it very slow and explaining thoroughly...what else can I do????

 

Any thoughts?

 

thanks,

Bethany

[woolybear]

Why don't you try on the special needs section on these boards? There maybe people who read over there but not in this general section that can help.:)

[EKS]

My son has dyslexia and ADHD and has or had many of the issues you are describing. I resisted medication until my son was 12 (last year) and then tried it because I felt like I had tried everything else and the way things were going, I knew he wouldn't get through high school.

 

The difference with the meds is like night and day. He works at a decent pace and his careless error rate has gone down drastically. Because of this, we are able to get through way more material than ever before. I know you said you weren't willing to do the med thing, but I have to say, after resisting it myself for many years, I now wish I had done it sooner.

 

There are other things you can do. A protein breakfast and various supplements can help (omega 3s for example). Be sure he's getting enough exercise and enough sleep.

 

Some specific suggestions for resources: REWARDS to help with reading, AAS for spelling (we started in level 1 at age 12 after 4 years of Sequential Spelling), dictation for getting the periods on the sentences. Does he know how to type? Using a word processor for all written work had helped my son *immensely*. A grammar program that has helped my son apply the grammar concepts is MCT. As for math--the issue you mention was solved for us with medication.

[Renee in NC]

I've basically used SWR for both the spelling and reading issues. We've also used explode the code books to help out too. What I've noticed with both programs is that he gets the 'logic' behind them. In other words, the rules, BUT he still doesn't get how to put the pieces together. OR, apply what he has learned. For example, when he has time to do free writing, he will revert back to phonetic spelling. He doesn't think to spell AT ALL. He just writes however it sounds in his head. BUT, I can have him sitting down doing spelling w/me and he will use the correct spelling rules and phonetics when it's spelling time. Does that make sense?

 

Other than that, and repetition...I haven't used any other programs. I'm not aware of programs. I guess that's where i am at now...what's out there for him? What can I use?

 

With math...we've just used regular programs like Horizons, I did Saxon last year which was NIGHTMARE, and this year we tried Chalkdust and quickly figured out that was way tooooo fast, and now we are using BJU5. He is struggling with it terribly. I just am taking it very slow and explaining thoroughly...what else can I do????

 

Any thoughts?

 

thanks,

Bethany

 

For math - does he know how to do all the basic operations? Can he multiply, divide, add, and subtract? Even with large numbers?

 

For SWR, where does he place (grade level) with the diagnostic tests?

 

For writing, does he write slowly or normal speed? How is his handwriting? Have you tried copywork and/or dictation?

[ondreeuh]

My son is also dyslexic with ADHD and struggles with the same issues. I will say that if your son learns concepts well but has difficulty applying them, I don't think AAS will work any better than SWR. I say this after a year using AAS and a son who can rattle off all the rules we've learned, but doesn't use them when writing. His brain is not wired to go through a mental checklist when he writes - it takes a different path. I think a lot of it boils down to impulsiveness.

 

Meds also helped my son tremendously. We started them very young out of desperation, and the effects were dramatic. He has no side effects, not even growth delay. Here's the thing with ADHD meds - they either work, or they don't. I understand reluctance to use medication (I'm that way too) but if you could see my son in the morning before his meds and then an hour later when they have taken effect, you would understand why they are necessary my son to learn and succeed. I really suggest giving them a chance for your son, if a doctor recommends them.

[3browneyedboys4me]

I totally undersand you using meds. I guess i am really hesitant b/c my son had epilepsy when he was 3 1/2 and out grew it when he was 8 1/2. I've always felt horrible that he had to be on those meds for all those years. Ya know? I really just wanted to use it as a last resort.

 

I feel like we are in the same boat with our boys. It's intersting that you had to make this decision when your son was 12, and my son is approaching 12 this summer. I, like you, feel like something MUST be done now. We just can't keep going at this pace...for his sake, more than mine.

 

Also, this week I had the 'lightbulb' moment over the ADD/ADHD thing. I noticed that my husband was correcting my oldest son every night about not eating his dinner at the same time we were all eating, getting up and going to the bathroom, and talking...bascially, being the last one at the table every night. Then, it just hit me, and I looked at him and told him that this is EXACTLY what it was like to teach him during the day.It's constant correction, getting back on task, and he is ALWAYS last sitting at the desk trying to finish. I guess that's when I knew we had an attn problem that was not going away but possibly getting worse.

 

Anyway, we discussed it and are taking sugar out of his diet to see if that helps. He LOVES sugar, craves it uncontrollably. He would love nothing more than to munch on popcorn and drink coke all day! I have a book that I bought years ago on treating ADHD naturally. I guess I can dust that off and read it now. lol! I can try that for awhile and see if it helps. I do believe the meds would make a huge difference for him. That might be what we need to do. I guess time will tell.

 

Thank you for your insight. It's comforting to know that someone else is out there fighting the same fight.;)

 

Blessings,

Bethany

[specialmama]

To answer the dx question, here in Canada it is very "worth" the dx. Perhaps there as well, I don't know. You aren't "labelling" in a negative way, you can remove the label any time you want to. But at this young age, a label can help to access many resources. My son (with severe autism) would get hardly anything without a dx. With the dx he gets 12 hrs per week of behavioural intervention, 4 hrs per month each: psych, speech, OT, physio. He also qualifies for a full time EA or TA, and if homeschooled I could fight (and probably win) a teacher to come to our home so many hours per week for tutoring. I don't know about your area, but in most areas (barring 3rd world countries) I expect there to be a degree of help for these kids. Do you know what kind of help there is where you are? If there is any help or services, then a dx is adventageous. Don't fall for the lie that says it will follow him forever. You can take it away (physically remove it from files) if it seems to harm his self esteem or if others judge him. But honestly, it's usually the other way around. Usually people see the dx and allow for more understanding. On the other hand, if the disability is so obvious and there is no official dx documented? Well, unfortunately there is usually a judgement about the parent with their head in the sand, and feeling sorry for the child who wasn't helped. So what a parent may be trying to do with all good intentions (protect her child from discrimination) actually backfires. I'm not saying your head is in the sand and you're not helping your son, I know you are helping him a LOT... and you mentioned financial restraints in getting the dx... but I wanted to share all of that with you in all gentleness and respect so if there is some barrier in your mind about protecting him, then this may help with that. :grouphug: Sending hugs and prayers for some help with your boy. :grouphug: And I totally understand about the medication route. I refused for years. But honestly, my son's life has improved ten-fold since we began his meds and he's so much happier, that I'm glad I tried. Something to think about. Sometimes the benefits skyrocket without a negative side-effect in sight. :001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

To answer the dx question, here in Canada it is very "worth" the dx. Perhaps there as well, I don't know. You aren't "labelling" in a negative way, you can remove the label any time you want to. But at this young age, a label can help to access many resources. My son (with severe autism) would get hardly anything without a dx. With the dx he gets 12 hrs per week of behavioural intervention, 4 hrs per month each: psych, speech, OT, physio. He also qualifies for a full time EA or TA, and if homeschooled I could fight (and probably win) a teacher to come to our home so many hours per week for tutoring. I don't know about your area, but in most areas (barring 3rd world countries) I expect there to be a degree of help for these kids. Do you know what kind of help there is where you are? If there is any help or services, then a dx is adventageous. Don't fall for the lie that says it will follow him forever. You can take it away (physically remove it from files) if it seems to harm his self esteem or if others judge him. But honestly, it's usually the other way around. Usually people see the dx and allow for more understanding. On the other hand, if the disability is so obvious and there is no official dx documented?

 

Here in the US it mostly just gets you a diagnosis unless you put them in ps (and even then the help varies from place to place.) There are some therapies available (depending on where you live) but I know parents often spend tons and tons of money on therapies out of pocket because there is nothing available.

[3browneyedboys4me]

Thank you so much for your response. He does know the basic concepts of math. He just can't multi-step math. In other workds...take those basic concepts and starting adding to them. Like you do when you learn multiplication in the hundreds,thousands, etc. Now, he will do fine if he is multiplying hundreds or thousands by a one's number....but, make it a tens, hundreds- forget it...he can't keep up w/ the placement and steps. He 'understands' it, but he just gets lost in the process and makes too many mistakes.

 

He tested in K words. I've basically just decided to teach him the rules and phonograms and use spelling city to have him drill him on them and test him. I just am running out of 'time' in the day to work on all the subjects w/him, and I'm finding I just have to make some sacrifices along the way so that we can finish. I am at this place where we aren't able to do much more than core subjects b/c it takes too long. It was a miracle we've been able to add science this year. However, we should and need to be doing much more. (like history, latin, unit studies...logic...etc.)

 

For writing- Lord help me! I just can't bring myself to tackle it. We started IEW this year. And, I would say it went pretty well at first. Then, it became agonizingly slow. I don't know if he got bored w/the repetition or what. We started strong and i felt like he put forth good effort, but then, I think he just got bored w/the process.?? Not sure. I shelved it b/c it was taking 2 or more hours to work thru the process w/him. However, in answer to your question, I would say he would be slow. He's really bad about just writing things without order or understanding. He doesn't get the flow that he needs to make a paragraph and so forth.I think IEW was pretty good at getting him to understand that. I am hoping to start that again soon. I am finally just getting us back on track since the holidays. It's been painful to keep him focussed. I'm hoping once he realizes what he has to do that the routine will take effect and we can add more to it.

 

 

Thanks for your help!

Bethany

[3browneyedboys4me]

I am not at all opposed to getting a diagnosis. I actually started down that road in Kindergarten, but b/c it was so expensive and I didnt' really see what difference it made, I didn't pursue it. From everything I learned at the time, it came down to using certain reading/phonics programs and REPETITION. That's all. Now, I guess I'm wondering if anything has changed? I've thought about PS, but I really don't want to put him in PS just so he can get a label and/or tutoring, especially if the tutoring would be the equivalent of what I am doing at home. ykwim? I would almost be inclined to think that would be going backwards. I just haven't been able to find a benefit for it yet.

 

I guess that's pretty much where I am at now. Are there any resources out there that would make a difference for me while I am homeschooling?

 

I appreciate your kindness and input. I will definitely be looking into resources in my area.

 

Blessings,

Bethany

[3browneyedboys4me]

I am at a place, this year, where I'm just not sure any of these programs make a difference *if* you have a son that has the issues mine has. I hate to say that, but i've been going at this for years and see very little, if any, changes. It seems to come down to mostly maturity issues for him. I think as he gets older two things have happened:

1. He WANTS to learn and know more.

2. He is a little embarrassed if his brothers can spell and write better than he can and tries harder.

 

Sad to say, but those two things seem to be the only motivating factor for him. I don't really see the benefit of hours and hours of teaching him rules. Not yet anyway. However, I guess that could change.

 

I think much of the problem is the ADD/ADHD problem. i am thinking I might go ahead and take him to the dr. for it. It's really good to know that you, and many others, have had this situation and found positive results from the medications. I guess it's worth more serious thought and not just a total dismissal.

 

Thanks again for your help.

Bethany

[Cynful]

I know exactly where you are at right now. My son is 12 and, though not tested, definitely has dyslexia and processing issues, mostly visual I think, not auditory. He doesn't have any ADD/ADHD tendencies though. My son can sit and work one on one with me and does pretty well but send him to his desk on his own and you'd think he'd never even heard the word science or history or grammar (fill in your own blank here) before.

 

One thing I've heard (probably from some great lady on this board), and its so true for my son, REPETITION, REPETITION, REPETITION and more REPETITION...... What it takes someone without any issues to learn normally, multiply that by 1000 times for a child with issues. It makes my head explode sometimes, and his too; but we know that we'll get through this. I don't make a big deal out things for him anymore as I don't feel its in his control to change. He'd like to be better at skills and he works hard so it doesn't help for me to point them out and make him feel badly about it. Once I got beyond that and beyond thinking that I HAD to get him caught up, things went much more smoothly and his confidence has increased.

 

Anyway, all that to say, you are not alone and I hope you find what works best for you,

[3browneyedboys4me]

I think I am 'getting' there. :) I feel like I'm letting go of my pride. :glare: I've realized this isn't all about me. It's about him and what works and what doesn't. He has to take some ownership in this. I dont' mean that it's blame, but rather, he has to really want to work at it too. That plays a huge roll in this. I think mabye the ADD/ADHD is a huge factor for us. That issue makes it so hard for him to stay on task which really makes me FEEL like he doesnt care, but in my heart, I know he does. It's just soooo very frustrating!

 

 

I'm just at a low point. I haven't ever really had a breakdown. This is the first time that I am just 'over it!' I just need help...that's a hard thing to ask for...well, for me it is!:)

 

Thanks for your support and encouragement!

Bethany

[Guest]

My daughter also spelled okay in isolation, fell apart with punctuation, spelling, etc. in written work, handwriting nearly illegible. This went on until she was around 11 or so. In the two years since she has made fantastic progress (although the spelling and punctuation problems are still there). What happened? Some combination of the following:

 

-- We got an extensive (11 hours over several days) neuropsychological evaluation that pinpointed the exact places where her problems were occurring and gave us a "road map," a list of recommended approaches, practices, and treatments that we are still following in a watered-down kind of way, because we can't afford everything on the list. But we do what we can. This has been SO HELPFUL I can't express it fully enough.

 

--She had sports vision therapy for six months. This was amazing in helping her vision come together so that she gained reading stamina, could read small print, could balance her body better, use her eyes together. I had no idea that she had been having huge problems with focus, using her eyes together, and even had little depth perception. Regular optometrist and doctor checks of her vision never caught these things. We had to go to a developmental sports vision therapist. Expensive, but some people get coverage through schools. If you are in a state where you can get your child tested through the schools and have some therapy covered, you might want to go this route.

 

--She began horseback riding lessons. There is a theory that the constant adjustments in balance when you ride a horse help many kids with "soft" neurological problems. They manage to finally make automatic some of the things that previously their brains had to devote full attention to, and this frees up areas of their brains for new learning. That is the theory, and I have to say that is what I saw in my child. It was stunning. Again, cost is a huge factor but there are programs in many areas for kids with learning disabilities that are either free or low-cost, subsidized by grants and the like. Worth checking?

 

--Puberty and development. I didn't expect a huge developmental surge (in fact was kind of dreading the opposite) but it did happen. I don't know whether this is typical or not. But the kid who couldn't spell cat when she was nine or ten suddenly went up about four grade levels in spelling.

 

--Books that might help:

Homeschooling a Child with ADD (or Other Special Needs)

The Mislabeled Child

The Gift of Dyslexia

Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World

 

Big, big hug to you. I know so well the feeling of being overwhelmed and having no idea how you can possibly do this one more day.

 

SWB says that homeschooling is not a one-person job. Yet I see women struggling to cope homeschooling ordinary kids without learning challenges. It's really, really hard. When you add learning disabilities on top, it becomes truly impossible to do it all yourself. The emotional burden is just too great -- and if it's crushing for you, it's also crushing for your son, who probably feels like he's failing every day, particularly with two younger siblings who are relatively smooth sailing. Get help. You don't necessarily need a "diagnosis" as such, but a learning evaluation is really helpful and you may be able to get one free of cost or for a low fee through your school district -- just check first that your homeschooling will not be an issue afterwards if you choose not to use their services or therapies for any reason. They may offer services that are just what your son needs.

 

And do check out the special needs board. People are dealing with a number of kids very similar to yours and there are several recent threads covering a whole lot of approaches and avenues. Sometimes it is a relief simply to know you are not alone.

[3browneyedboys4me]

You and all the other wonderful,helpful moms have inspired me to seek help. I'm going to call today and see what services, if any, are out there in my community. I want to investigate testing again. Like you mentioned, I want a 'road map'. I think at this point it's necessary. I'm not sure what type of therapy we could afford at this point, with this economy, but we could check into it and see.

 

I feel so much better about things and I just want to thank everyone for understanding and being helpful. I usually don't reach out, but i am at a point of exhaustion....and, i'm so glad that I DID reach out! You guys are great!!!!

 

Thanks again!

Bethany

[meet me in paris]

Dd11 has these same issues... I know how you feel! {{{big hug!!}}}

 

We struggle, but I have to say that if she were not on medication I could not do it every day. She's been on meds since age 5... every once in a while we go "natural" and let me tell you, we're all a lot happier and healthier when she takes her meds. The thing is, the stimulant medications are quick acting and are quick to leave their bodies, so if you don't like what it does to your son, it's out of his system in about 4 hours (unless it's a time release, which they typically wouldn't start you on anyway).

 

On the flip side, diet is a BIG thing with my dd. She can have NO chemicals in her diet or it makes things ten times worse. Especially watch for food coloring and artificial sweeteners. Some kids with ADHD and processing issues are really sensitive to chemicals and it can really interfere with their brain function. If she accidentally has something colorful we can pretty much bag school for the rest of the day. Another important thing is to make sure they get lots of protein in the morning, since that helps brain function, too. Fish oil supplements are also good. So if you're really opposed to medication, try a holistic approach to keeping his body on track. It does make a difference. We need the double-edged sword around here.

 

Bottom line, though, is that he may never apply the things he's learned in one area to another area, especially writing. I've come to peace with that. It's so frustrating, but if you just keep plugging away, little connections will be made over time. I think when it really MATTERS to him personally, he'll be able to find that information in his head and apply it. My daughter seems to make it work when her friends are involved. :)

[HollyBee]

On the flip side, diet is a BIG thing with my dd. She can have NO chemicals in her diet or it makes things ten times worse. Especially watch for food coloring and artificial sweeteners. Some kids with ADHD and processing issues are really sensitive to chemicals and it can really interfere with their brain function. If she accidentally has something colorful we can pretty much bag school for the rest of the day. Another important thing is to make sure they get lots of protein in the morning, since that helps brain function, too. Fish oil supplements are also good. So if you're really opposed to medication, try a holistic approach to keeping his body on track. It does make a difference. We need the double-edged sword around here.

 

I just wanted to second this. My dd has never had an official ADHD diagnosis, but when she was little she showed all the symptoms. I found out about the Feingold program/diet and once I took all the artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives out of her diet, it was like she was a completely different child. I am convinced that the boom in ADHD diagnoses are connected to the vast quantities of these artificial chemicals that we ingest on a daily basis. So, you might give this a go before you go the medication route. We have been able to do this and not have to do medication.

 

BTW, I am not anti-medication, for certain kids. I do think, however, that this is a worthwhile tactic to try first.

 

Holly

[LizzyBee]

I've basically used SWR for both the spelling and reading issues. We've also used explode the code books to help out too. What I've noticed with both programs is that he gets the 'logic' behind them. In other words, the rules, BUT he still doesn't get how to put the pieces together. OR, apply what he has learned. For example, when he has time to do free writing, he will revert back to phonetic spelling. He doesn't think to spell AT ALL. He just writes however it sounds in his head. BUT, I can have him sitting down doing spelling w/me and he will use the correct spelling rules and phonetics when it's spelling time. Does that make sense?

 

Other than that, and repetition...I haven't used any other programs. I'm not aware of programs. I guess that's where i am at now...what's out there for him? What can I use?

 

With math...we've just used regular programs like Horizons, I did Saxon last year which was NIGHTMARE, and this year we tried Chalkdust and quickly figured out that was way tooooo fast, and now we are using BJU5. He is struggling with it terribly. I just am taking it very slow and explaining thoroughly...what else can I do????

 

Any thoughts?

 

thanks,

Bethany

 

I used SWR for a year with my mildly dyslexic dd and it was a disaster because it's not systematic enough for a typical dyslexic kid. That was the year she started pulling her hair and calling herself stupid - exactly the type of thing I wanted to avoid when I pulled her out of ps.

 

The evidence-based method for teaching reading and spelling to dyslexic kids is the Orton-Gillingham method. Some good curricula that are based on this method include Barton, Wilson, SPIRE, and Recipe for Reading. That said, it sounds like he gets the phonics and rules but doesn't get spelling patterns. Some spelling curricula that are more pattern-based include Sequential Spelling and Megawords. Maybe your ds needs something pattern based rather than OG.

 

For math, Singapore has worked best for my dyslexic kids. It works on one topic for awhile instead of jumping around. But there are times when my 13 yo in particular has to take a break from it because the curriculum has moved forward before she was ready. The Key To series and Life of Fred books have worked well to supplement Singapore for her. Math U See is another popular curriculum that is often recommended by moms of dyslexic kids.

 

My favorite website about dyslexia is http://www.dys-add.com. There are hours of video that you can watch for free. Many dyslexics are also visual-spatial learners. My favorite website on that topic is http://www.visualspatial.org.

[melmichigan]

I haven't read through all the posts but you might check your state law regarding testing. In Michigan, the local PS has to test a homeschool child at their cost if the parent requests it in writing. to rule out an LD. You do need to "register" with the state by signing a paper that says you are homeschooling with your name and address. It was worth that to me to have my DD tested. Two of my children receive services from the PS. I don't think you have to go that route but testing might be one way of getting a more accurate diagnosis if it is available to you. <<<hugs>>>

[Flaura]

:grouphug:

I don't have much to add but for multisyllable words I highly reccomend REWARDS by sopris west. It made a world of difference to my son.

 

Take care,

[RamonaQ]

I think that you reaching out for help is going to be the beginning of the change of this current dynamic. My ds is dyslexic of some nature (we don't have a formal diagnosis), but for a couple of years I suspected something and we just struggled terribly in our homeschooling. Finally, I just pushed past my own issues, and also all the other voices (such as my husband) that just told me it would 'take time, and then ds would just "get it" '-- he wasn't and I was just really frustrated.

 

Needless to say, after an evaluation by an outsider, even though the info was hard to hear, it finally put us on the path of "doing something". In 6 short months we have gone from ds crying and tantruming when asked to write a sentence to writing 2 compare/contrast essays this past week. And, ds reading for his own enjoyment.

 

Likewise, we sought a vision evaluation and discovered significant vision issues. So far, we have done 6 mo of vision therapy. For us, vision therapy has been a huge key in making forward progress towards independence.

 

Also choosing a curriculum specifically designed for language-based differences has been wonderful. Although I still do feel, like you, that my LD kid gets most of my attention, I am seeing that he is becoming more independent, FAR more than he was 6 months ago ( I see next year even more so). There are so many awesome ideas about curriculum on the "Special Needs" section of this forum. Finally, learning keyboarding skills with a dyslexic spellchecker was a huge advance.

 

Finally, I would encourage you to look into technology-based resources:

 

RFBD.org has gazillions of audio books, including textbooks. This is free with a professional certifying an LD. Ds now downloads books and is able to put them into a Sansa digital audio player.

 

bookshare.org again, more books in an electronic format. We are just learning about this one, so I can't comment further. Also free with an LD verification.

 

audible.com A subscription paid resource, mostly just literature (not text) but read by professionals.

 

Ginger software. A dyslexic spellchecker that catches errors based on context (ie- there/their). We were able to purchase this 50% off, watch for "sales".

 

Kidspiration. A graphic tool for brainstorming/ organizing writing. Basically, you brainstorm through idea webs, then with a click of a button the web is turned into an outline.

 

Kurzweil software. Wildly expensive software, hence why I listed last. Again, a tool that reads scanned in textbooks, which also allows electronic notetaking (that can also be read vie Kurzweil). This was supplied to us free by our virtual academy.

 

Thus, if your child has some electronic resources, perhaps there will be less reliance on you for reading. This has been our approach.

 

I wish you the best. About 9 months ago, I was in a similar place as you-- very burnt out, very frustrated, very confused. But I know you are going to find answers, already you are, and you will find a way to change this. There is hope!

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

For multisyllable words, you can also try my free phonics lessons and Webster's Speller. My lessons are for older remedial students and have 3 syllable words starting at the first lesson. Webster's Speller will be easier to use once he watches the lessons, I teach most of the syllables in the lessons.

 

My spelling chart is also a helpful aid for many of my struggling students, my phonics lesson 29 teaches how to use it. I have updated the chart since I first made the movie for lesson 29, it has some updates in the r controlled vowels. I hope to finish updating the movie within a week, I'm working on it now.

[3browneyedboys4me]

We've already talked w/my son about his diet. He knows we are going to try a new diet to see if that will help his focus. I explained to him that everyone can't handle all foods the same way. I just had a baby and had to watch my sugar intake b/c of gestational diabetes. So, I think that helped him to understand. He wasn't too excited or happy about it b/c he does love coke! That will be a big one for him!

 

LizzyBee- thank you MILLIONS for the website info!! That is exactly what I needed. I needed a place to start!! I can't wait to pour over these websites tonight. I really appreciate you sharing this info w/me!

 

You all are a huge blessing, many thanks!

Bethany

[swellmomma]

Here in the US it mostly just gets you a diagnosis unless you put them in ps (and even then the help varies from place to place.) There are some therapies available (depending on where you live) but I know parents often spend tons and tons of money on therapies out of pocket because there is nothing available.

 

For most disorders here in Canada it is the same...ask me how I know. Autism is seen much differently, and families are provided with a lot for services.

 

I am going through the process of getting ds6 assessed soon. I am pretty sure his issues are learned not due to actual LD, BUT I am not taking chances. I am more worried about the paper trail as he gets older. While homeschooling him now is challenging, it is possible whether he has LD or not. BUT if he does have them I want to know he can get the services he may or may not require to attend university, or in the case of my oldest, access to disability services as an adult if he is unable to hold a job due to his issues.

 

If you can not afford the testing out of pocket but can afford that school here is what I would do. I would enroll him in the fall, they would complete all testing on campus at their own expense. Let the teachers work with him for 1 year, learn how they are helping him and how to best meet his needs as the assessments come back. Spend the year working with your other kids, making sure you are not already missing things with them(I am thinking in terms of basic skills in writing, reading, phonics, math etc). If you are feeling confident again at the end of the school year opt to keep him home and continue homeschooling him.

 

My older kids spent 2 years in a regular ps, which is where they had all their testing done, (along with assessments from their shrink). PS was not a good fit for them, and I love having them home. BUt the knowledge learned in that testing, and how best to approach certain things really made a difference.

 

Often times it is not the curriculum itself that makes a difference in how kids with LD learn, but how it is approached at all. For example, my oldest son has MAJOR comprehension problems. He struggles to understand everything around him, whether it is reading, or tv etc. The only thing he seems to grasp is the violence in video games. I never just hand him a book and tell him to read a section. I read a loud EVERYTHING then have him narrate. When we watch a movie or listen to an audio book, I pause and he narrates, it doesn't matter what I use changing curric won't suddenly make him comprehend what he is reading, only working through narrations does that.

 

I do think getting the right assessments even if they add a label are worth it. From that point you can plan a path suitable to your son's needs. Also when dealing with a child with severe ld's you have to accept they simply will not be working at a level that other kids that age are. I highly doubt my oldest son will ever reach rhetoric stage. At 11 yrs old, he is still firmly in the grammar stage. Mentally/emotionally he is more like a 7-8 year old and not ready for higher level thinking. I can't be thinking "he is turning 12 and should be doing xyz, because he simply can't do those things. Maybe one say he will but moving him along faster than he can consistently acheive too quickly is not going to help him and will just frustrate us both.

[TracyR]

Hmm. Your son sounds exactly like my 12 yr old daughter. I can place a check mark to each of the things you have listed. I have used numerous grammar programs and have to constantly remind her that the sentences need to end with punctuation. Her spelling is horrible. She reads at grade level but when she comes to words she doesn't know she has no clue ( and I used a phonetic reading program with her too to teach her to read!)

She isn't hyperactive though so she doesn't those issues. I'm not sure what to tell you. I know we don't have much available and if we do its not worth the time. I've just kept at it.

Not sure what is available with your state but have you tried having him tested at your local school? I would start there and see if they can be of any help or give you ideas.

[3browneyedboys4me]

at the support I've gotten from this board! I'm overwhelmed! Thank you so much!

 

Meet Me in Paris- I really do understand what you are saying. I do believe he is making connections. I see it every day. I've also seen him achieve things when HE wants them. It's interesting. His focus is there, and he is EXTREMELY excited about it. He will work all day on something if it's something that HE is interested in doing. I think I will try to be more positive about the things that he is accomplishing while we are making this journey together. I think that would make us both feel better.:001_smile:

 

Flaura Thank you for sharing the REWARDS info. I have quickly glanced at the website and will continue to look over it this evening. Did you use this for a child w/ Dyslexia? I was just curious how you came about the website, and how you implement it into your child's academics?

 

Romano Q Wow!!! That's just about all I can say!!! ;) Thank you SO very much for the tons of websites! I am so excited to look over these and see what is out there. I can't wait. Thank you for taking the time to share them with me.

 

Elizabeth B Thank you for sharing your spelling champ site. I haven't had a chance to look over it but will be doing that tonight.

 

Swellmomma- I am going to call Monday and see what services I have available. I live less than two miles from one of the top ten schools in my state- whatever that means. lol! Anyway, they are considered to be a very good elementary school. I realize my son will be in middle school next year but i will still call this school to get ideas and input. It might even be worth doing this year. I dont know? I'm hoping next week to have a lot more answers to my many questions.

 

Tracy R Hugs to you! I hope that the info I've received here might possibly help you too. It's a hard road and I've just been keeping at it year after year thinking that we will be on task-next year! It's always NEXT YEAR. But, it just isn't happening and as his work load increases, i am becoming extremely anxious about my other two boys. They need more of me. I have to be there more for them. So, I'm hoping to find some answers so that we can ALL get what we need. :001_huh: I hope that you are able to find some answers too. :grouphug:

 

Thanks again to all of you wonderful women. You all have given me such clarity and insight during a foggy time. I'm so glad to know I am NOT alone and that I have HOPE! You all are awesome!

 

:thumbup: Bethany

[Orthodox6]

Although we did have to pay $1700 out of pocket toward a complete battery of educational testing, our dd's psychiatrist wrote the request for testing with language that indicated the information was "medically necessary". Thus we obtained insurance coverage for the greater portion of the costs. The information we gained has been invaluable, as it helps me to select materials better suited for dd, and to devise strategies for helping her with specific topics. We had this testing done a year ago, when dd was turning 10. We long had suspected particular LD issues, and we did not want to wait until it was too late to provide useful intervention. We believed that attempting to move forward without the benefits of formal diagnoses was "penny wise, pound foolish". I am very, very glad that we gulped and took the plunge !

 

DD is dealing with ADHD, major depression, strong math disabilities, and nonverbal learning disorder. She does not take any ADHD medication, although we believe they are a legitimate choice, and other family members have taken ADHD meds at times. We are not persuaded of the efficacy of "ADHD diets" for other than a small number of people. (So try one, should you wish, and maybe it will be useful, maybe it will not.) We just stick with our general family diet based on whole foods, organic produce, organic meats/poultry, organic grains, and "from scratch" cooking. Physical exercise helps a lot, too ! (When things get tough in school, I send her outside with her jump rope for a few minutes.)

 

Repetition can be a "dead horse beating". Continual practice and review, definitely are needed. Often, though, repeating a technique which simply is not the "right match" for the particular student, leads only to frustration and tears from everybody involved. Backing away, letting something rest, searching for alternate ways to present the same concept, and "out-of-box" creative thinking can yield surprisingly productive results.

 

Sounds like you are working very, very hard all these years, with an excellent attitude, and determined support. Keep up your good work! (I should have placed this paragraph up at the beginning.)

Edited February 21, 2010 by Orthodox6

[at the beach]

:grouphug:

 

I have a 10 yo dd with huge learning differences/challenges so I know where you are coming from. It is SO hard sometimes. It can just leave me with mind-numbing exhaustion. We've tried lots of different things. She's been quite resistant to formal schooling. We've had our best success with a CM approach. This year, I've recently tried Teaching Textbooks Math 4 with her. She LOVES it, and she's doing 2 lessons a day and would do more if I let her. :001_huh: However, oddly, when it comes to the true/false questions, she struggles no matter how simple they are. I don't know what that's about. For L/A, we recently decided to try LLATL Yellow (third grade), which is a grade level behind where she should be. She LOVES this, too. It's just right for her so far. She is willingly doing it and is remembering what she learns. She's spelling the spelling words right. There are only five a week, but by George, she's getting them. :D Will she remember them five weeks from now, though? We'll see. We've tried things geared for special needs kids, but it seems like these are working better right now. Maybe it's the keep it simple, idea? She can write relatively legibly when she does handwriting or LLATL but set her loose with a pen and paper and look out, it becomes gibberish. :tongue_smilie: She has good comprehension, good reading skills. We've done lots of reading aloud and buddy reading. I think this has helped her a lot. She is a very concrete thinker. I wonder if she will ever move past concrete thinking.

 

She has a myriad of diagnoses, including dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and NLD. We don't have her on meds because I have been so resistant to doing that. She takes piano and violin, and it is a workout, believe me. I have to practice with her and sit by her. She cannot learn note reading at all. I'm thinking of dropping piano and continuing with violin. She takes a ballet class and constantly needs extra private lessons because she has such struggles with coordination. I have recently thought of horseback riding to see if that might help her. We've done O/T and she was released from that over a year ago.

 

I do notice that she is better when we follow a no chemicals diet and low on the sugar. Feingold style. We tried gluten free but it seemed better when on the chemical free diet. And lots of activity. Also, limiting screen time. Oh, and I have heard that eating eggs for breakfast can be as good as ADHD meds. I heard that on this board. My dd hates eggs unfortunately. But you could try that with your son.

 

With spelling, have you thought about allowing him to write his paper and then rewriting it and correcting the spelling afterward? Just a thought, and if there's a reason why this is a horrible idea, please someone, chime in. Also, he might be able to get faster writing if he can use a keyboard.

 

Diagnoses can't hurt, but in the end, IMO it comes down to working with the child and figuring out how to best help them move forward. I agree with whoever said, repeat, repeat, repeat, over and over and over till they get it.

[3browneyedboys4me]

:grouphug: Big hugs to you!! Wow, what a journey you've been on.

 

I appreciate your thoughts. I haven't actually implemented a 'diet' per se', but we've gotten really strict w/sugar. I, like you, cook 'from scratch' and think that alone makes a HUGE difference. I also buy organic when I can. I am thinking of adding better foods to his diet b/c he just doesn't have a really good diet. Mostly junk....popcorn, loves soda, chips, etc. He will eat a good dinner, but during the day he is SO PICKY! So, that is where i will have to get strict. I've known he needs to eat better but haven't really enforced that. I'm sure we will notice a huge difference with that alone.

 

Hugs to you on your journey!

Bethany

[cin]

I haven't read all the responses, but in addition to sugar and organics, you might want to remove artificial colors. Red 40 affects our daughter in such bizarre ways. She turns into a demonic child. Even just a bite turns her into a sulky pouty, whiney child. If she has a 'normal' amount, she turns into a very angry, hyper child who canNOT focus on schoolwork at all.

 

She was adopted at 12 mos old and had a horrible first year, so we started counseling, thinking there were true anger issues. Then we removed red from her diet. She's a different child. Now we're working on removing the 'tapes' she learned from being drugged with red 40 for the past 7 years.