scrapbabe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I'll try to be brief, I've written a little about this before. I put my kids in a small private school this year due to my having thyroid cancer. I am cancer free now but still struggling with being tired/depressed. My husband and I started a karate studio 18 months ago and I work there almost full time trying to grow it. So school was suffering a little and this private school just fell into our laps for free. My 13 year old LOVES it! It makes me sad cause I didn't intend for it to be a permanent thing. But he loves school. He loves the rigor that he wasn't getting at home. My 9 year old doesn't like it. He has some auditory processing issues and struggles with staying on task or even understanding what is expected sometimes. His teacher is pretty good to work with him, but I can tell by things he says that she's a little impatient with him. He doesn't get his work done in the time allowed, so he always has loads of homework. He wants to go back to homeschooling, which is fine with me. I just don't want him to do it because he thinks coming home will be "easier". It will be, but I want him to still work hard and be pushed a little. Since he's the second child he didn't get a lot of one on one school time with mom like the first child did. He says he just wants to spend more time with me. Which he has said for months - because I'm always working. So I could see it being a good thing. But am I depriving him of important lessons by not making him stay and learn to work on a "schedule"? So what would you do? Would you bring the 9 year old home and let the 13 yr old stay. Would you make the 9 year old tough it out? I'd sure like some advice. Thanks, Shalynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I'd finish the school year and evaluate over the summer. You'll have a good idea of where they both are academically when the final report card comes in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 But am I depriving him of important lessons by not making him stay and learn to work on a "schedule"? So, he can't learn to work on a schedule at home? Don't *you* work on a schedule? Wouldn't it be better for his mother to work with him on that than a complete stranger? So what would you do? Would you bring the 9 year old home and let the 13 yr old stay. Would you make the 9 year old tough it out? I say bring him home. He's just a little guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 If it were my child, I would bring him home. He may also be struggling with the fear of losing you because of the cancer. It would be nice to be able to reassure him that you are still there for him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 My DS also has auditory processing and attention issues and I pulled him out of school after 4th grade. It was the best thing I ever did ~ his inability to "hear" what the other kids did and to stay focused had really damaged his self-esteem. He was constantly smacking himself in the head and saying "Why am I so stupid??!!" He's actually gifted, but being in a big group just constantly pointed out his "deficits" instead of his strengths. I would definitely bring your little guy home. You will be far more effective at helping him learn to "work on a schedule" than school will, plus you can adjust the schedule to him as he learns, instead of a classroom teacher impatiently trying to get your boy to fit her schedule. There is plenty of time before college for your son to learn those skills. For now, it's more important that he gets the emotional and logistical support he needs to continue developing confidence in his abilities and a love of learning. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 So what would you do? Would you bring the 9 year old home and let the 13 yr old stay. Would you make the 9 year old tough it out? I'd sure like some advice. Thanks, Shalynn Bring the 9yo home IF you can spend the time with him to homeschool properly. Let the 13yo stay at school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Bring the 9yo home IF you can spend the time with him to homeschool properly. Let the 13yo stay at school. I agree. I think I would first try to stabilize my own health and schedule so that when you do bring him home that you really can work with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I am homeschooling a friend's boy with APD. I'd say to bring him home, leave the older one in school. I don't think you need to send the message that homeschool is easier. It's just different. We pulled my bonus student out of public school two years ago, he felt very dumb there. Interesting thing...we started doing Classical Conversations this year, I am the tutor to the class I have my bonus student in, so I can help him...but I still can see him struggling because of his APD. One day, from the look on his face as he was struggling to keep up, I had the realization of what it must feel like to constantly feel like you don't know what is going on around you, that you just don't quite "get" it. I'd bring him home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I have a DS with auditory processing issues. I would not make him suffer through a classroom situation unless it was absolutely necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) .. Edited March 23, 2013 by 3kt68 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hen Jen, He has mentioned to me a few times that most of the time he doesn't know what is going on. I know the teacher has tried to help, but she has 12 other students to take care of. So if his work isn't done in the time allotted, he has to bring it home. It makes our evenings and weekends awful. When we homeschooled I had to spend more time helping him, but we didn't stop a subject until we were done. We weren't only allotting 30 min. for math, etc. Thanks for the insight on how it would feel to never undertand what was going on. Smiles, Shalynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Your welcome Shalynn, I wonder if having APD is like being in another country where you understand 80% of the language and can get along, but the rest just eludes you. I'm wondering if I should let my bonus student quit CC, he was doing really good until just before the break, and then he just kind of shut down. Problem is, I can't quit, I'm the tutor, so I'd have to leave him home with my highschooler. good thoughts your way, Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I agree about bringing him home when you can work with him consistently. Also, I would work on the Auditory Processing issues. You will be doing him a favor by addressing this now. ADP is not something people outgrow, but they do learn to coping techniques, not all of which may be beneficial. It is also limiting and can create social problems down the road. My son had issues with auditory processing and we were able to get help and implement a program to help his brain better process auditory information and stimulation. He will never like noisy situations, but at least he can function normally when faced with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 He just became very demoralized and clinically depressed because he couldn't do what seemed easy for other kids. I wish now I had been able to bring him home sooner. Kids don't mess up because they are bad people, IMO, not when they are small anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I have a DS with auditory processing issues. I would not make him suffer through a classroom situation unless it was absolutely necessary. Yes, I agree. Children with APD really struggle in a classroom situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ellen, any advice on what techniques to try? He hasn't been officially diagnosed, but I know somethings not quite right there. Based on my reading and researching, I think he has Auditory Processing Disorder. Do you have any suggestions for something to read or try? Cadam, getting my meds/vitamins, etc all correct is a constant battle. I was just in for blood work and the nurse called back with results and said "your bloodwork looks good, you're right where we want you to be". I told her I wasn't where I wanted to be. She said "all I can say is it's not your thyroid". So I'm working on it. I've also been researching natural remedies to help get my energy back up. Have you had your thyroid removed? Thanks, Shalynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 He hasn't been officially diagnosed, but I know somethings not quite right there. Based on my reading and researching, I think he has Auditory Processing Disorder. Do you have any suggestions for something to read or try? I don't know a great deal about APD but have you also considered ADD (not the hyper, just inattentive) or even petit mal seizures---brief blankouts that can occur many times a day? Personally, I would bring him home and then try to get an evaluation so you know exactly what you are dealing with. Seizures would likely require meds. ADD might respond to diet, changes in setup or need meds. APD might require therapy or ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I'd bring the younger one home and put him to work helping me (YOU) in the business, if possible, having him do his school at set times there where you (& dh) are (to hold him accountable). It seems like a wonderful opportunity for him, IMO, since he gets to work and contribute to the family, spend time not only with you but with his Dad (I assume??), soak up a lot about running a business, and so on. Also, I'd be concerned that he would begin to hate anything reeking of books and learning if the experience goes even further downhill where he's at. Kathy ditto this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Cadam, getting my meds/vitamins, etc all correct is a constant battle. I was just in for blood work and the nurse called back with results and said "your bloodwork looks good, you're right where we want you to be". I told her I wasn't where I wanted to be. She said "all I can say is it's not your thyroid". that's ludicrous. What a callous disregard for your well-being! I would ask to speak to the doctor and if the doctor's opinion meshes with that nurse, get a new doctor. I will pm you with a thyroid info website you might want to check out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I would bring him home in a heartbeat. You could give him the one on one he needs, and his studies can be just as rigorous. Since he has issues, he's probably more comfortable doing his work at home anyway. He also may want to be with you because he was scared when you were sick? I'm so glad you're cancer free! :grouphug: My boys are in high school. There have been SOME benefits, but they have picked up some of the attitudes that the kids have out there. They fedel we're horribly restrictive, but I think that's more because most of their friends have NO rules. There have been tense times as dh and I stand against some of their newfound desires in music, games, attitudes. I can say with absolute certainty that we all would have been happier and better off if we kept our boys home. Once they were in school, they didn't want to come back home. I can understand. They both have a ton of friends. But I've learned from my experience with them and no matter what, my girls will stay home with me THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. God would have to truly knock me upside my head to get me to even consider putting them in school. And if *I* don't want all that work (I'll be 58 when my youngest graduates!) then we'll do online or satellite school. THere are plenty of options that would lighten my load. I do think it would be hard to pull your 13 yos out of school, and I also think your younger may be lonely without him. But remember that no matter what choice you make, it doesn't have to be permanent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Shalynn, We had tried getting services from the school, but they would not touch auditory processing, or any sensory issue for that matter. The IEP was a joke. I happened upon NACD (http://www.nacd.org). They use a neurodevelopmental approach (but much more modern than the rigid, disproven methodologies of the 1960's.) They had us to a very extensive questionnaire, did a 90 minute global evaluation and came up with a program of activities for us to do (which took about 90 minutes a day, broken up into small pieces.) We used the Listening Program, addressed the working memory issues by doing auditory sequences. There were other issues we were working on, but that is what I remember about the auditory issues. My son went from not being able to function in a room full of kids, museums , or even church, to having no trouble in almost any situation. Crowds and noise aren't his favorite things, but he at least can be a functional human being in those environments. I know that some people has success with an audiologist, but I could not seem to find the right help on that route before I happened upon NACD. hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 Thanks Ellen. I will look into NACD. Denise, Thanks for your input. I think this private school (k-8) is a really good option for my 13 year old right now. But I'm hoping by the end of the year to convince him to come home next year. I don't think there are bad influences there, but I worry about him liking school so much that he won't come home for high school. Mostly I think he just likes the rigor. He likes that from 9 - 9:30 is math, and from 9:30 - 10:00 is writing, etc. But I suppose I could provide that for him at home if he wanted. I'm hoping to step things up over the summer and show him that homeschooling can be as rigorous and scheduled as he wants it to be. We usually don't stick to time frames, we just worry about getting the work done. I really appreciate all of the responses. Smiles, Shalynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Shalynn--is there a reason you don't want your son continuing in school if he is doing very well there? Honestly, as much as I think that homeschool is a great option for many kids, there are kids out there that really thrive in the public/private school environment. I have 1 in school now and 1 at home---right now that is the best for each of them. But I'm hoping by the end of the year to convince him to come home next year. I don't think there are bad influences there, but I worry about him liking school so much that he won't come home for high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 I agree that he is thriving there. But I guess I just don't want to give up homeschooling. We only put them in school temporarily so that I could recover my health. I never wanted it to be a permanent thing. He was fine doing homeschool until he got a "taste" of private school. He never wanted to go to school. I guess it'll have to take some prayer and careful consideration to decide what the best course of action is. Smiles, Shalynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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