Anyone else hate to cry?

[caitlinsmom]

I can't stand it! I have no idea what people mean when they say it is so relaxing, releasing, rejuvanating, etc. I just don't get it. It gives me an awful headache, my eyes dry out like crazy, and I feel just nasty afterward. Nothing remotely soothing about the experiance.

 

Plus, and this is probably my biggest issue with it, I hate, dispise, loath, not being in control and crying seems like the biggest control braker there is. I like composure and calmness especially in myself.

 

All that said, boy I could just cry tonight!

[Garga]

I don't mind crying when I'm completely alone.

 

But I hate to cry in front of other people. I can count on one hand the number of times I've cried in front of anyone. And I've always regretted it and wished I hadn't.

[caitlinsmom]

I don't mind crying when I'm completely alone.

 

But I hate to cry in front of other people. I can count on one hand the number of times I've cried in front of anyone. And I've always regretted it and wished I hadn't.

 

 

Me too! Even my husband has seen it only 3 times in the last 10yrs.

[Tutor]

 

Plus, and this is probably my biggest issue with it, I hate, dispise, loath, not being in control and crying seems like the biggest control braker there is. I like composure and calmness especially in myself.

 

I think this is why I hate crying also. I can only think of one time when I felt better after crying, and that was only because I fell asleep crying and had time to "recuperate" in my sleep. :001_smile:

 

I'm sorry that you feel like crying now. That feeling like circumstances are out of your hands is so frustrating and terrifying.

[Sue G in PA]

I also hate to cry and rarely do. I am the opposite of you all though. I hate to cry alone! However, there are very, very few people I will trust with my tears. Even my husband has only seen me cry a handful of times (besides during childbirth). People say that crying is a catharsis but for me, it isn't. It just makes me feel worse. Go figure.

[dangermom]

Totally agree with you.

 

First, I hate losing it in front of other people. I am much too private a person to show my feelings like that. It happens anyway sometimes, but I really hate it.

 

Then, if I am alone and don't care about that, it doesn't make me feel better. I get a headache and can't breathe properly and my eyes hurt. Blech.

 

And yep, the loss of control is probably the worst bit. Normally, I almost never cry, but life has been extremely difficult lately and I'm starting to have a hard time holding it together even in front of friends. (Don't you hate when people are nice to you? If they'd just ignore me or something I'd be fine, but instead they get all sympathetic and I lose it. Argh.)

[fshinkevich]

I don't like to cry in front of other people either, but I don't mind a good cry in the bathtub, maybe with a glass of wine :D

 

I do usually feel better after.

[CalicoKat]

I can't stand it! I have no idea what people mean when they say it is so relaxing, releasing, rejuvanating, etc. I just don't get it. It gives me an awful headache, my eyes dry out like crazy, and I feel just nasty afterward. Nothing remotely soothing about the experiance.

 

Plus, and this is probably my biggest issue with it, I hate, dispise, loath, not being in control and crying seems like the biggest control braker there is. I like composure and calmness especially in myself.

 

All that said, boy I could just cry tonight!

:iagree:

[Joanne]

I can't stand it! I have no idea what people mean when they say it is so relaxing, releasing, rejuvanating, etc. I just don't get it. It gives me an awful headache, my eyes dry out like crazy, and I feel just nasty afterward. Nothing remotely soothing about the experiance.

 

Plus, and this is probably my biggest issue with it, I hate, dispise, loath, not being in control and crying seems like the biggest control braker there is. I like composure and calmness especially in myself.

 

All that said, boy I could just cry tonight!

 

Crying is part of a normal, healthy range of emotion. I healed tremendously when I lost the fear of being "out of control" and crying. A wonderful side benefit is that I now also cry happily at certain events at home, commercials, reality shows, etc.

 

The healthy response to over-emotion is *not* uber control.

[Irene Lynn]

Crying is part of a normal, healthy range of emotion. I healed tremendously when I lost the fear of being "out of control" and crying. A wonderful side benefit is that I now also cry happily at certain events at home, commercials, reality shows, etc.

 

The healthy response to over-emotion is *not* uber control.

 

I agree and cry more often now, too. BUT I don't feel better after crying. I also get a headache and if I cry right before falling asleep, my face will be very puffy and uncomfortable in the morning and my sinuses will also be stuffy. Physically, I just don't like it. Emotionally, it is alright. (And I cry so ugly, so irritating. :D )

 

On the other hand, my dd cries at everything. She says she feels much better after a cry. I wish I could say the same.

[elise1mds]

I am not a crier, either. Not even in private. I feel a lot better after taking a long, hot bath rather than letting myself cry. When I'm crying, I'm not able to focus on the problem and figure out potential solutions, so what's the point? I get headaches after crying, too, which also isn't helpful. This isn't to say I never cry. Especially when something is particularly painful, I *do* cry, but I usually feel like an idiot afterward. I'm sorry you're stuck in a situation that's making you feel like crying :(

[Friederike in Persia]

So when my dad got diagnosed with cancer, I didn't mind crying at all.

But when I'm trying to read a story to the dc and I choke all up it's most frustrating (dd 10 then gets that look on her face and says, "it's all right mama, I'll read the next page out loud") and I get annoyed with myself

[katemary63]

First, I hate losing it in front of other people. I am much too private a person to show my feelings like that. It happens anyway sometimes, but I really hate it.

 

 

I cry at the drop of a hat, about anything, good or bad. The tears just come; there's nothing I can do about it so I don't try to stop it. The problem is that people percieve crying as "losing it" when for me, it's not about that at all. I may be crying, but I am definately not out of control of myself and don't FEEL out of control just because I'm crying. I don't actually have a problem with crying...it doesn't bother me that I do it. Actually, I don't mind at all. I lived a long time with stuffing my feelings and refusing to perceive the reality I was in and believe me, that is a worse alternative. My problem is how people react to me crying. But I don't really let it bother me. I just address it. Like, I will tell the doctor, "I know I'm crying, but I'm fine, really, go ahead." (with whatever) Or, I've had conversations with my Pastor where I've said, "I'm going to cry during this conversation, but I'm fine. I need us to focus on the topic and not my emotions." It works for me.

[katemary63]

So when my dad got diagnosed with cancer, I didn't mind crying at all.

But when I'm trying to read a story to the dc and I choke all up it's most frustrating (dd 10 then gets that look on her face and says, "it's all right mama, I'll read the next page out loud") and I get annoyed with myself

 

Oh gosh! I cry at EVERY book I read aloud. Many, many times. The tears just flow. I can't read a simple sentence like, "Son, I'm proud of you." with out crying. My DC laugh a bit, but I don't mind.

[dangermom]

 

I cry at the drop of a hat, about anything, good or bad. The tears just come; there's nothing I can do about it so I don't try to stop it. The problem is that people percieve crying as "losing it" when for me, it's not about that at all. I may be crying, but I am definately not out of control of myself and don't FEEL out of control just because I'm crying. ...

I don't think of it that way with other people, just with me. :D In my church it's considered perfectly normal for people to get teary and emotional --I'm the oddball that way, but I just can't do that.

[Dirtroad]

I hate it. I get a bad sinus infection and head ache... every time. Plus, I look puffy & swollen.

 

My biggest issue is I feel out of control and weak. Oh, I hate that. Crying only increases my stress, makes me anxious, and does nothing to solve the problem. Plus later I feel guilty about it.

 

I realy don't get being emotional in public (like person mentioned church).... I am suspicious of too much emotion in front of others. People seem to cry too much and about everything.... guess that is why I get suspicious of the motive.

 

Nope, can't stand to cry!

[KidsHappen]

That funny. I was just discussing this with me 10 year old last night. She overheard me telling me my brother that I cried and she said, "You have cried?" and I said yes. She said, "As a grown-up?" and I said yes. And she said, "I mean when someone didn't die?" and I said yes. And then she said, "I have never seen you cry except when grandma died. I think each of my other dds have seen me cry about the same. I don't mind crying when I am all alone but I hate to cry in front of other people. There were a few exceptions when I really didn't care like when my grandson was born or when I had kidney stones but other than that, not so much.

[Stacia]

I cry easily (esp. ever since having kids) -- movies, commercials, picture books, etc..., lol! However, I hate it because crying causes me to have a raging headache, regardless of what I was crying over (the loss of a pet or a toilet paper commercial).

 

I don't mind the 'reason' (sensitivity/empathy) I'm crying, but I do hate the physical sensation & aftermath of crying (headache).

[caitlinsmom]

I hate it. I get a bad sinus infection and head ache... every time. Plus, I look puffy & swollen.

 

My biggest issue is I feel out of control and weak. Oh, I hate that. Crying only increases my stress, makes me anxious, and does nothing to solve the problem. Plus later I feel guilty about it.

 

I realy don't get being emotional in public (like person mentioned church).... I am suspicious of too much emotion in front of others. People seem to cry too much and about everything.... guess that is why I get suspicious of the motive.

 

Nope, can't stand to cry!

 

This is me too. I too am suspicious of the over emotion of others in public. I think this stems from my mother who is over the top in all of her emotions because she is bipolar and an alcoholic. I know why and where my issues with crying stem from but it still doesn't make it easier to handle.

 

:) Glad to see I am not the only "weirdo" who doesn't like it! Although I do wish I felt more comfortable with sentimental crying. That one is still tough for me and I wish it wasn't.

[....]

I've been doing an awful lot of that lately. :crying: The neighbors probably think I lost my mind.

[LG Gone Wild]

I get a headache, too. I am not a big crier, I am a big shouter so I guess I let it out that way. Sometimes, I can't cry. I want to but the tears just won't come.

 

I do cry (a little) at touching moments or when I am laughing really hard. The last time I had a good cry was when watching the Duchess of Duke Street and Charlie died. Actually, I cried at the Duchess's grief (gosh she is such a good actress). I really cried. My dh walked in thinking something terrible had happened IRL.

 

ETA: I've told ds (my most challenging child), " If I were a crying person, I would be doing that right now".

Edited August 26, 2009 by LG Gone Wild

[CAMom]

Crying is part of a normal, healthy range of emotion. I healed tremendously when I lost the fear of being "out of control" and crying. A wonderful side benefit is that I now also cry happily at certain events at home, commercials, reality shows, etc.

 

The healthy response to over-emotion is *not* uber control.

 

Joanne, I just wanted to tell you that this really spoke to me. I think I'm in the uber control camp.

 

I just lost my grandma a week and a half ago. Several of us were by her side and I did cry when she took that last breath. But, my uber controlled self did not cry at her funeral.

 

I have some thinking to do about what you said.

[Mom-ninja.]

I hate it. I also get a bad headache after.

[Denisemomof4]

I *hate* to cry! I'm the UGLIEST crier ever! My face gets all distorted, the nose does gross things, my eyes puff huge, but just that distorted face......

 

I also hate to cry around people. This is likely because my mother always said to me growing up, "Stop crying!" I was VERY sensitive as a kid.

 

I, too, get completely wiped out, headache, achy eyes, when I cry for long.

 

Sometimes I need to do it, other times I can't stand it.

[dirty ethel rackham]

You know, it depends on the type of cry. Gut wrenching, anguished crying gives no relief. Other times, letting out pent-up emotions can be a release. However, no matter what, afterwards, I always end up with a killer headache and needing a nap. So, for me, it is a double-edged sword.

 

ETA: I am a "cry in private" kind of person for the most part. I almost never cry in front of the kids. I rarely cry in front of friends. I really try not to cry in front of hubby because he simply doesn't have a clue how to deal with it, especially if they are tears of frustration and anger with him.

 

There one group of church ladies where emotion is such a normal thing, that I am less inhibited there. Tears of joy, compassion, guilt, shame, love ... it's all good.

 

I did have a big cry in front of a group of homeschooling friends - totally unexpected. I've known these women for over 10 years and I don't think they had ever seen me cry. It was an emotional night - from one woman who is still grieving the death of her husband 2 years ago and facing the empty nest, my melt-down over my son's depression and my helplessness - it was a wierd night, hopefully not to be repeated.

Edited August 27, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham