TCoppock Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Let me first start by warning you this is a bit of a complaint.lol Ok I started taking DS to a homeschool group about 2 hours from our home in Jan. He takes 3 classes and seems to really be enjoying them. I think the classes are about average in price so that is not an issue. My problem is no one talks to me. There seems to be little subgroups inside the co-op of moms that know each other outside of the group and they stick together. I have attempted a number of times to chat with the other moms but I always end up feeling uncomfortable. The parents are expected to stay in the "homeroom" while children are in class. I am basically stuck sitting in an uncomfortable situation every Tuesday. DH thinks I shouldn't sign back up after this semester but I feel DS need the interaction with other children. DS is an only and we don't have any children that live nearby that he can play with so I wondering what we should do. If you were in this situation would you suck it up for your child or would you look for other alternatives? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Let me first start by warning you this is a bit of a complaint.lol Ok I started taking DS to a homeschool group about 2 hours from our home in Jan. He takes 3 classes and seems to really be enjoying them. I think the classes are about average in price so that is not an issue. My problem is no one talks to me. There seems to be little subgroups inside the co-op of moms that know each other outside of the group and they stick together. I have attempted a number of times to chat with the other moms but I always end up feeling uncomfortable. The parents are expected to stay in the "homeroom" while children are in class. I am basically stuck sitting in an uncomfortable situation every Tuesday. DH thinks I shouldn't sign back up after this semester but I feel DS need the interaction with other children. DS is an only and we don't have any children that live nearby that he can play with so I wondering what we should do. If you were in this situation would you suck it up for your child or would you look for other alternatives? How old is your son? Can you find other outlets for him - a sport, scouts, 4H or something similar? I was getting hives just reading your post! I have a hard time meeting new people but to be excluded by a bunch of rude women like you have been is just not acceptable. I would NOT suck it up. There are too many other ways for your son to interact with other kids and for you to actually meet nice people. Really, there are tons of nice people out there who would love to chat with you. If your son is under 10-11, I wouldn't give quitting the hateful coop a second thought. There is plenty of time. I'm sorry you happened into such an unfriendly group as your first experience.((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I wouldn't suck it up, either, not even if I were the mother of an only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 While I'd probably seek out an alternative for next year, I wouldn't pull ds out of his classes just because I'm having a problem with breaking the ice. Besides, these other women probably don't mean to be rude. Perhaps they're just so happy to be out of the house, to have the opportunity to talk to other adults, they're too absorbed to notice that you don't have anyone to talk to. (I'm not there, so I can't see them. I only know that I'm guilty of this sometimes). Is it possible that they're all new? Maybe they don't realize you're new, too. Perhaps there is a job you could do for the co-op while you're waiting. Find out who is in leadership, and volunteer to help out while you're there. She might partner you with someone else. Working with people is a great way to get to know them. Or, you could bring a project of some kind, and ask the women there to "help" you with it. I'm thinking of maybe a craft project, or picture sorting, or cutting stuff out for SS, or something along those lines. Most women wouldn't mind helping someone out. It'll give them something to do while they're there, and it'll break the ice. Just some ideas off the top of my head. I hope you find a kindred spirt soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura K (NC) Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Yet you're expected to sit in the homeroom? I'm not sure what you're saying... is the homeroom where the children are? If mothers are talking or chatting during class that would seem to be a problem for the children. I taught a co-op class where moms were chatting at the back of the room and I had to tell the moms to be quiet! :( The moms who stayed got a price break on the co-op. Some moms were not able to stay. Maybe you could just not "be able" to stay, and go out to a coffee shop or mall for a few hours. If I were uncomfortable, I wouldn't drive 2 hours to a co-op, but I have three boys so the "socialization" aspect is not as important. I do all kinds of crazy things for my boys depending on what I think they "need" for their education, though. Stick out the semester. Talk to the co-op director if you want to change the situation. Bring baked goods for the other moms. Offer your talents. It doesn't seem like you should have to do this, but it might help break the ice and lead the way to some excellent friendships. If that is too much, bring a good book, bring your own baked goods and a good cup of coffee, and enjoy your "alone" time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdWTMer Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I guess I'm really an introvert, because I just take my iPod and my knitting wherever I go and I'm fine. I guess that doesn't help so much with those that want to be social though. Sorry that you are havin' this rough time. Forgot to add, that I'm also a homebody so the idea of having to drive 2 hours (is that both ways or just one way) would drive me batty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I would be friendly but I would have other things to do. Have to say, I don't think I would drive 2 hours for a coop, no matter how good it was, unless I got something out of it as well. I'm not a good enough person to do that. I'd get resentful about losing that much time, and not enjoying it at all or getting anything else done either. But having said that, I could do a lot of lesson planning, knitting, or reading in homeroom while my DD took 3 classes, so maybe that plus some good CD's to listen to in the car would make it worthwhile, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCoppock Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 Amy- My son is 8 right now. Although he doesn't have any real interest in sports, I am sure he would love to join something like 4H. I am glad you mentioned it. Laura- "Homeroom" is the room where the children who are not in class play and where the mothers are to wait while the other children are in class. DS has a break right after thier lunch period that we go off campus for but if he is on campus I am expected to be in the room. I think for the duration I will be bringing a good book with me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Hopefully I will be able to find a group that is closer to me and that is a better fit for both my DS and I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I guess I'm really an introvert, because I just take my iPod and my knitting wherever I go and I'm fine. Same here - I would actually find it a relief not to have to talk with strangers for an extended period every week. :eek: OK, I realize that after a while they wouldn't be strangers! But I'd still relish the chance to read a good book uninterrupted. Fwiw, I have found myself in similar situations with homeschoolers on occasion. I think it's exacerbated in my case because I'm a guy, so moms don't always know how to include me in their conversations. If I'm not able to break the ice after a few polite tries, I happily retreat to a corner with my book and music and call it a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I personally wouldn't drive that far, but if you child is really enjoying it, I'd forget the other moms and just read/work. Frankly my local church friends are my "best buds" and having a lot of homeschool mom friends is not a priority for me anyway. That said, I drive to a co-op 30 minutes away even though there are similar groups 10 minutes away. My kids are thriving there though, and the Director and I see eye-to-eye on the things that matter to me, so I don't fix what isn't broken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristineIN Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I wouldn't drive that far, I would try and find something closer. Sorry you are having a hard time, I have been in a co-op for quite a few years and know that people gravitate towards those that they know, but do make an effort with new people. These people just sound like they are stuck up. Hope you can find something better. Blessings, Kristine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 something to study or read or tat or mend, etc. I've even been known to bring my kitchen knives and sharpen them all. Since I don't have a lot of other time for it, I have a book I'm outlining or making lesson plans from whenever I expect more than a 10 minute wait. I enjoy these times! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie in CA Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I would not drive 2 hours away to get to a group or class. That to me is way to long. Then again, maybe you don't have anything else closer to your house. I am very blessed to homeschool groups and activities like crazy around us. Susie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 There is a co-op group like that on the other side of the big city (which would be 1 1/2 hour drive for me). They require the parents to stay all day at the co-op day which is one day a week. I would not suck it up in your situation. I would find other ways to get interaction for your son. Perhaps there is another co-op that is closer and may be alot better for you. The co-op I belong to we make a point to remind all the moms to make newbies welcomed to the group. We even send reminders in the e-news that we have new members and to please welcome them when you see them. We are told to go to a new face and talk to them and make them feel welcomed. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Just as children who have been together for a long time tend to do this, so some adults will "clique up". It's harder to make friends when this happens, and it's a shame that they're not adult enough to see what they're doing and make an effort to be friendly. But I think if this is good for your child, and you don't mind that drive, then you should just keep trying to be friendly and also bring along plenty of things you can do to keep busy. I'd try for variety there, as maybe something you do will prove a conversation starter that will help to draw folks in...... Regena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Eeks, I wouldn't drive 30 minutes for a co-op. But it's easy for me to spurn the interaction thing because my four youngest have each other. I did make more of an effort for the oldest until his siblings came along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. H. Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I would take a book, my knitting, my lesson plans, etc. and enjoy some QUIET while dc was in class, at least for the rest of the term. Then, if it really bothers you, choose something else next year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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