Tiff in TX Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 DD is having her birthday party this Saturday. Since she is the first and only grandchild on my side, the house is overrun with toys from my indulgent parents and she doesn't need/I don't want any more. Is it tacky to request books and art supplies? A few of the parents have asked what she wants and I have given them this answer, but is it tacky to request "no toys" from people who don't ask? TIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I think it is okay to put "no gifts please" on an invitation, or to tell people who ask "art supplies and books would be great, she really doesn't need any more toys". But to say anything to people who don't ask, yeah, it would be tacky imho. hth and Happy Birthday to your dd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 (edited) I think it is okay to put "no gifts please" on an invitation, or to tell people who ask "art supplies and books would be great, she really doesn't need any more toys". But to say anything to people who don't ask, yeah, it would be tacky imho. hth and Happy Birthday to your dd! :iagree: I would think it tacky to say anthing to someone who didn't ask. Just as I think it's tacky to put those little registration cards into shower invites and wedding invites. But maybe that's just me. I dunno. If it's, say, your sister (who you're close with and you know she's going to buy your dd a gift anyway) then yeah, I would say it's probably not horrible to say 'Hey sis, how about some nice color pencils for dd, she's getting so into her art lately, I just know she'd love some 'fancy' art stuff'. But someone you're not really, really close to? I'd not say anything. Or else, you could put 'no gifts please' on the invitations. But, a word of warning; I tried that one year, when I had a combo-party for my older ds and my stepson. I didn't want anyone feeling obligated to buy two gifts, and they don't need anything anyway. Well, I'd never have thought I would get people calling just to ask if it was 'ok' that they brought a gift. I mean, what am I supposed to do now?! Everyone got an invitation saying 'no gifts', but then some people got 'special permission' to bring gifts?! I was a wreck over it. I think everyone just assumed I was 'just trying to be nice', or that the boys would be soooo disappointed if the didn't get gifts or something. Turns out, EVERYONE brought a gift for each boy. So, if I were ever to do that again (which I probably won't :)), I would put more explanation than 'No gifts please'. It'd probably say something like, 'DSS and DS both have so many things, we would all like to ask that you PLEASE not bring a gift. Your presence at the party is enough, and will make their day very special. PLEASE, no gifts. PLEASE!' :lol: Edited July 7, 2009 by bethanyniez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 My neighbor invited my dd7 to a party the other day. She explained that they were going to be visiting with the ILs the next day and that her daughter would be inundated with gifts. She then told me that "what my daughter really wants is just your presence at her party. If you really want to bring something a small token like a coloring book would be perfect." I got her some paints and a paint brush. As a mom, I wasn't annoyed and understood perfectly. My dd says the other moms got similarly small things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 You may not put anything on the invitation, but if people ask, you could suggest books and art supplies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillieBoy Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 :iagree: I would think it tacky to say anything to someone who didn't ask. I just received an invitation to my cousin's 6 y.o. dd's bday in the mail. The next day she followed up with a group email of very precise list of presents to buy. I did not ask for this. The presents are not education or even art specific just random in my opinion "junk" toys. I may have thought different if it was just a general category. She claims this is dd's wish list but it sounds an awful lot like my cousin to me. Anyhow I thought it was just plain tacky and out of spite :rolleyes: I'm going to get the child something I know she enjoyed playing with at my house with my daughter one day (which I know Mom said was okay to play with). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 DD is having her birthday party this Saturday. Since she is the first and only grandchild on my side, the house is overrun with toys from my indulgent parents and she doesn't need/I don't want any more. Is it tacky to request books and art supplies? A few of the parents have asked what she wants and I have given them this answer, but is it tacky to request "no toys" from people who don't ask? TIA You could have a food drive instead. I love parties that ask you to bring food for the food bank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 My ds was invited to one party where the mom requested that every child invited bring a wrapped book to be exchanged with all of the kids instead of presents. This way every kid got to go home with a gift of a book and the birthday kid was not inundated with gifts.:) To me this sounds like a great idea, but I think I would take it one step further and say bring a used book to recycle:) I hope it is not a tacky idea. So far though, we have only had small, family only, birthday parties for my ds which I kinda like;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 My ds was invited to one party where the mom requested that every child invited bring a wrapped book to be exchanged with all of the kids instead of presents. This way every kid got to go home with a gift of a book and the birthday kid was not inundated with gifts.:) To me this sounds like a great idea, but I think I would take it one step further and say bring a used book to recycle:) I hope it is not a tacky idea. So far though, we have only had small, family only, birthday parties for my ds which I kinda like;) That is a great idea! We've also attended a party to bring a gift for a needy kid. Then the family stores everything until Christmas & donates to a special charity for poor kids/families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiff in TX Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 I just received an invitation to my cousin's 6 y.o. dd's bday in the mail. The next day she followed up with a group email of very precise list of presents to buy. Yeah, I would never do this.... thanks for all the input. The invitations have been out for about two weeks now and I knew better than to put anything in them about what gifts would be appreciated. Thanks for the answers everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I understand a "no gifts necessary" on the invite and I don't think that's tacky. I think it is tacky to specify gifts to people who haven't asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Yes, no one likes unsolicited advice. :) But maybe you can bring up your son's interests in casual conversation? That way you're just giving information about your kid to a friend, but it might lead them to understand that your kid could use a paint set instead of a toy. I don't know, that's just an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this one. I don't think it's tacky, I think it's just common sense. I'm sure some of your relatives would find this tacky, and be offended. I have an only child...who is the only grandchild on both sides and this whole topic is a real raw nerve to me. SO, if you figure out a way to get people to back off and not smother your child with gifts all the time, please let me know :lol:!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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