Need help. My son basically refusing to do handwriting.

[susancollins]

My son Jackson is four years old he will be five in January. He was in a Christian preschool in an older threes class and we just loved his teacher.She had a true gift working with children. We had to move him to another preschool because of a problem with the center not watching the kids in afterschool and something bad happen to my daughter while she was in afterschool.

He was doing his handwriting and he knows how to spell his name aloud and write it. We left the center in Jan 31, 2009. He moved to a new center. I am taking classes for BA in Elementary Education. Now I am taking classes online. My husband and I decided that it would be best if we homeschool. My daughter goes to a Christian school that is different from the childcare center the have Pre-K-12th grade.

I have been working with him more. I am printing worksheets. I have bought handwriting without tears. I am doing workbooks and pintables' mainly now. I planned on starting the HWT's when we start in the fall, along with Abeka. When I get him at the table or his desk. He screams I can't do it. He holds the pencil loosely not evening trying. He just doesn't want to try to do any handwriting. He loves books this morning he picked out nine books to read and we read all of them. He can even tell me what some letters begin with A for apple. What can I do to get him motivated? What else should I be doing. This morning we did one worksheet a fun one with coloring. When he finished the sheet. I said lets practice our letters. He wouldn't even trace on the lines. Then he had a couple on the side to do free hand he did those but very sloppy not trying. I said lets turn the sheet on the back and we can do three more Capital A's and three lower case a's and I drew a line for him to write on. He said no one, I said no three. He said ok two, and said no Jackson three big and little A's. I want him to love learning. I was thinking of do a Letter Book and doing a different letter every day or two and he could color them and trace them. We could also find the different letters and cut out of magazines and make a collage. What do you think? Any suggestions would be great. I am going to work with him over the summer and let my daughter do a few fun worksheets, and we will officially start on August 1. I know this is long but thanks for taking the time. Have a blessed week. Susan

[Carol in Cal.]

Don't put him through this.

 

Let him learn the shape of the letters another way--rainbow writing might be good. For RW, you write the letter for him in thick black sharpie, and you have him go over and over the shape with all the colored pencils you can find, all different colors.

 

Maybe do a little Brain Gym with him, in a fun way, to start hooking up the motor skills with the brain a little better.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Well, *I* wouldn't be putting a 4yo through handwriting anyway past what they CHOSE to do (and most will choose some just because they see us writing, etc).

 

BUT, it sounds to me like a discipline issue. If YOU decide he needs to do it and that he's capable of it, then I would simply have his world stop until he does it (and does it correctly). He'll choose to write 6 letters in order to play outside, play a game, read a book, eat lunch, whatever.

 

Anyway, so I'm mixed. He's FOUR. He doesn't need ANY schooling at this age AT ALL. But if you decide to do it, he needs to do it.

 

BTW, I'm also doing an online BA of Ed program. Through whom are you doing yours?

[Shannon C]

He's still so young! I would hate to see you ruin a love for learning by forcing worksheets upon him! Just read to him, play with playdough, write in sand, cornmeal, string beads, etc. I would not expect a 4 year old to be writing that much. Just let him explore letters. It's so easy to get caught up in the academics when you decide to homeschool, but seriously, slow down and let him be a kid. He will write! It will be fine. I just started Handwriting without Tears with my ds(5) in February. He's coming along nicely after not having written anything before that aside from drawing and copying letters when he felt like it.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Let him be a kid. Were you and I doing formal writing at the age of 4 or 5? No, we were playing in sandboxes and listening to stories. Let him be. Also, it may be his way of 'decompressing' or dealing with the change from one school format to another. Basically, I'd just let him be a kid for awhile and let him PLAY. That's how kids at that age really learn! HTH!

[Impish]

Don't put him through this.

 

Let him learn the shape of the letters another way--rainbow writing might be good. For RW, you write the letter for him in thick black sharpie, and you have him go over and over the shape with all the colored pencils you can find, all different colors.

 

Maybe do a little Brain Gym with him, in a fun way, to start hooking up the motor skills with the brain a little better.

:iagree:

Forcing it will only backfire. Introduce it now and then, see if his attitude changes at all, esp with his sister doing it, but don't force it at all.

[myfunnybunch]

He's four, so he's got lots of time. :)

 

In your shoes, here's what I'd do:

 

Don't ask him to write anything. He's quite young for handwriting instruction, so it's not a must at this age. And if you're not asking him to do handwriting, it eliminates the opportunity for him to refuse.

 

Every time you sit at the table with your dd, set out puzzle books including, but not limited to, books with letters to trace and color. Toss out some plain paper and bright crayons and special colored pencils too. Paper to cut and some scissors. Play dough sometimes, maybe. Whatever you think he'll do quietly at the table while it's school time. Then let him choose what to do. Chances are if sis is sitting quietly writing, he'll eventually pick up the pencils and crayons and start writing for fun.

 

Sit down with him and do those alphabet books, that's a great idea! But let him choose: Does he want to write the letters himself? Make the book with sister writing the letters for him? Cut letters out of magazines and glue them? You can even cut letters out of sand paper and let him do crayon rubbings.

 

Write stories with him, but let him dictate while you write. Then read his stories back to him. This is a great way for littles to experience how we use letters.

 

Then try again when he's five. You're doing the right things, he just may not be quite ready yet. For now, really focus on making your learning time together fun, and then gradually ease back into the more formal instruction.

 

Cat

[Ginevra]

:iagree: The others are right. He is too young for much "required" writing, even though he is capable of writing letters. My 4yo is also capable of writing letters, but I let him write them or not write them at this point. I might "suggest" that he write an "A" when he draws a picture of an apple, but if he says no, I don't worry about it.

 

Also, with HWT, there are the wooden letter forms. Are you using those? Sometimes, I sit on the floor with the letter forms and make letters. He might just join in and make them with me for a while. This is practice, but it is also just relaxed play.

[eternalknot]

I never used a formal handwriting program with my older son; there was plenty enough opportunity to practice handwriting throughout the course of a normal day! Mine liked to draw. Well, every work of art needs a title. And an artist's signature/name. Easy enough.

 

We played lots of board games, and he would keep score. He'd write the date, game, players' names, wins, losses, draws. He got the hang of holding the pencil correctly, learned to use tally marks.

 

I'm a list-maker. I can make lists for the most random things. I got him into the habit, too. We made a list of books he read; people to invite to his birthday party; grocery items needed (I called out to him from the pantry). Naturally he needed my help to spell everything, but that didn't bother either of us any. Just a simple list of 3-5 things, most often while we sat down to a meal or snack. For some reason, that's just a more relaxed time for us to think, discuss, write (he was a reluctant writer). Full bellies always help ;)

 

My three year old LOVES to write. She particularly loves to write with chalk (regular OR sidewalk). She is always asking us to help her spell things, so she can "write" - maybe for awhile you can work with chalk (or a whiteboard) instead of paper and pencil? She'll draw out a hopscotch court (using numbers), and she'll draw our family (writing all of our names underneath the pictures), she likes to play Hangman with me and her older brother - she doesn't know how to spell beyond our family's names, but she is our own little Vanna White and writes the letters for us. She'll do that on regular paper, too. It's not always the most legible LOL, but my son and I can figure it out well enough and he thinks it's a hoot. It doesn't bother him to have her "help" us.

 

My kids also liked to write (their names, mostly, but you could do the alphabet) onto a fogged up mirror. You can get a small handled mirror, show your son how to fog it up with his breath, and have him 'hurry' and write his letter before the fog fades. He'll run out of breath before letters ::grin:: but that was one of my "keep the kids busy during a plane ride" tricks that is easy enough to implement anywhere - not just at the kitchen table for "school" IYKWIM.

 

Lastly, if your concern is about familiarity with the mechanics of lettering you could make sandpaper letters a la Montessori. Both of my kids used these (easy enough to make at home, relatively inexpensively), my daughter still does. It's a pretty age-appropriate way to introduce the skills you're wanting to.

[eternalknot]

My bad - double post.

Edited May 26, 2009 by eternalknot
trigger finger!

[OrganicAnn]

Can he draw a circle? A square? A Triangle? A straight line? If he can't do these, then he's not ready for writing.

 

Working with playdough, coloring, drawing with chalk, using scissors are all work on pre-writing skills and are fun.

 

Focus on these things.

[Herding Cats in NC]

My youngest ds will be 6 in July. When he was 4 he went to preschool three mornings a week. I can't tell you how many times he came home with letter worksheets with barely anything on them. But now, he's doing WWE level 1, and Spelling Workout A without any trouble. What I'm trying to say is don't worry! Read, read, read to him and be glad that he enjoys it so much - the writing will come. If you do want to continue working on letters, what about trying shaving cream or play-doh?

[Garga]

Too young. Let him trace paths through mazes (even if he does it wrong) and let him draw scribbles.

 

He's still preschool age. He doesn't need to begin writing until k or 1st, which isn't until Sept of 2010 or 2011.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

He is very young for handwriting. Let him play:) My ds hated anything to do with handwriting at the age of 4 and 5. So I let up on him. I encouraged coloring and playing with clay to help fine motor skills. I also got a chalkboard to play writing letters with and learned to select words that interested him like Martian or Jupiter;) I also found pencil grippers and thick pencils to be helpful. Now at 7 years of age, he likes to print and even likes learning cursive. Bottom line is, I think that 4-5 and even 6 years of age is too young for many kids to learn handwriting:)

[katilac]

Another vote for too young. Schoolwork of any sort was not 'required' in my household until six years old (and the requirements then were very gentle).

 

There was a learning-friendly environment, all the supplies were readily available if they chose to write or practice other academic skills, but absolutely nothing was required at 5, much less 4.

 

Now I have a rising 6th-grader and a rising 4th-grader, and they are both eager learners with high academic performance. A child who learns to write or read a year earlier than others does not have some incredible advantage, and there's always the risk of making them hate learning/school.

 

With increased academics and extras like piano lessons, there are many times when I long for the days of no requirements! Enjoy it while you can. They are only little once. At that age, if they aren't parked in front of a screen for hours on end. you can rest assured that they are constantly learning.

[Mommy22alyns]

I wouldn't make him do handwriting at this age. We're early learners here, but at age 4, if Sylvie doesn't want to work on handwriting I don't push it. I suggest it, but don't require it. Any school work she does is because she wants to. We'll start working on handwriting after she turns 5. :)

[skaterbabs]

In my state he would not even be starting kindergarten until September 2010. You've got, at minimum, a year before you have to worry about it. He's not behind at all, relax and ENJOY him being four. It'll be gone before you know it; one day you'll look up and he'll be taller than you.