I don't think I have ever seen anyone learn or change in any positive way from being given a taste of their own medicine. It's an attempt at manipulation at best and entirely ineffective as a method of improving a relationship overall.

I'm so glad you had a nice day with your kids!

I'm so glad you and ds had a positive experience together!

Thing is, for him to ignore his anxieties and concerns when spending his own money because you don't agree with them...well, that almost feels like it would require him to let himself be controlled by you. To me it feels like--it's his money, he needs to be comfortable with the manner in which it gets spent. He is clearly a high anxiety person, and no those anxieties aren't all rational. But...he can make his own choices about what to do with what belongs to him. And yes, I'd be feeling frustrated in your shoes as well. Most of all frustrated with the entire situation that has you stuck needing help from him and having to put up with the limits he is comfortable with.

The constipation stuff is annoying and really not appropriate. Him wanting to view apartments with you before spending his money doesn't seem that unreasonable to me. It is his money not yours, controlling where that money gets spent (whether as a loan or gift) is not unreasonable to my mind. I can see how it can feel like him controlling you because you are in such a tight spot and really need his help, but he really doesn't have to spend his money in this way at all. You've come from a controlling marriage so I can understand how anything that feels like control could set off defensive alarms.

This is true. It is also true that ASD and OCD can coexist. I have an autistic son who also struggles with severe OCD, and the OCD is definitely worthy of its own diagnosis beyond just the ASD diagnosis. It's been by far the most debilitating of the various challenges he deals with.

Heart, please pm me your venmo link

I would contribute! I've honestly been aching to help you out somehow Heart.

In this situation, absolutely she should respond with a thank you.

My mom used to say "If you have one child, they will take all your time. If you have ten children, they can only take all your time." She had ten 😊

Too many variables to make a generic statement. How old are the children? How far apart in age? Does the parent enjoy caring for babies and toddlers? Are the children neurotypical? Neurodivergent? Easy-going? Struggling with health issues? Two was really hard for me--my oldest two were both pretty high-needs infants and toddlers, I was perpetually sleep-deprived, and while I love babies and toddlers they do not provide the kinds of interaction and mental stimulation I crave. By the time the third came along, my oldest was getting old enough that I could enjoy interacting with her in ways that were more interesting to me. And by the time I had child 5 or 6 I wasn't having to personally provide all the stimulation craved by the babies and toddlers--their older siblings were interacting with them a lot and they didn't need mom-mom-mom every waking moment of the day. So for me, while seven kids ranging from infant through teens was certainly challenging, it really was the two littles phase that was hardest. I'm an introvert by nature, and their constant and relentless need for my attention was very, very draining.

You are working 24/7 GROWING A NEW HUMAN; that is genuine work and exhausts your body in entirely legitimate ways. https://nypost.com/2019/06/11/pregnant-women-are-basically-endurance-athletes-study/

Well done

Generally, documents are required to verify that you are eligible to work in the US. Either a passport OR a combination of driver's license and birth certificate should be acceptable. https://www.indeed.com/hire/c/info/documents-for-i-9-verification?gclid=Cj0KCQiAr8eqBhD3ARIsAIe-buMgdWRsIWLhA8NjYZS4FJY4DJJX8e_mWZYNtcU10hlrepLugIDEgOkaAqPBEALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAADfh6_tHM9hi_-ReVBlmOlXf4qThX&aceid=&gclsrc=aw.ds

I was skimming through and read this as "one of our teens is 14 feet tall" 😁🤣

Who needs to see your social security card? I've occasionally been asked for it, but I've also had employers who just wanted the number not to see the card. I will pray for you to find it!

Our church services aren't very exciting, but if you ever have a chance to visit a temple open house for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints it is worth going! Temples are our most sacred spaces, entirely different from the meeting houses where we hold Sunday services, and are only open to the general public during the open house period before a new building is dedicated (or a remodeled building is re-dedicated). This page should be updated regularly with upcoming open house opportunities: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/temples/open-houses?lang=eng

Do you have a start date for the library job?

A parent acting this spitefully towards their own child is so hard to even imagine. You're doing well to make sure this kind of nonsense stops at your generation.

They taste sort of like apples to me when fresh but definitely have a date-like flavor when dried.

I tried dehydrating jujubes for the first time (it's the first year I've had more than a handful that we ate fresh)--they really do taste surprisingly like dates when dried!

He sounds mentally ill, unstable, and severely lacking in boundaries. He needed actual quality mental health treatment; unfortunately the chances he would have accepted and complied with such even were they available to him are small. Suicide is always tragic. That's about all I have to say. What a mess and I feel bad for all the people who have been impacted by either his inappropriate behavior or his death.

This is why I now buy only organic bread.

Several of my siblings are gluten free, they feel much better in general when they don't eat gluten. I tried eating gluten free and didn't notice any significant difference in my health. Interestingly, 23andMe now recognizes a "more likely to have celiac disease" genetic marker. I don't have it, but my siblings who react to gluten do. We found out about the marker years after figuring out that some of us react badly to gluten and others don't.

That is amazing! My dad pulled off something similar after a heart attack in his 50s.