I'd ask the dr. That doesn't sound like a behavioral issue to me. Dh needs to lay off!

we were given tickets! I want to go!

Shop at Aldi. They are cheapest on most items unless we are talking double or triple coupons combined with sales!

Personally, I would not approach the school and give them their own preconceived notions about how homeschooled kids are "always behind" etc. Believe me, I have heard enough of this kind of mentality to be wary. You could research online thru the county's website for PSes. My ds went into PS in 7th grade and was behind in math (we had used Saxon; they used GLencoe). He was behind in writing but still is (PS didn't remedy that; he tests high in verbal but low in written expression on the WISC and WJ) PS was the beginning of a bizarre moral and behavioral decline for my ds. I would be very hesitant to put another dc in PS, especially at that age. The moral climate is very, very different from what most homeschoolers are used to and willing to tolerate. My ds learned better at home, and people thought he was highly intelligent when he was homeschooled. I truly don't think that one size fits all education of PS helps all students. Sorry that's probably not what you want to hear, but I wish I had realized these things sooner, before putting him in.

http://www.millermom.proboards23.com http://www.adhdnews.com

Thanks for warning me...I was thinking that might actually be a good book. Now I won't bother! I have one ADHD child and probably another. John Rosemond's new book, Parenting by the Book, takes a similar stance. He basically says parents are the problem and that all these kids with ADHD< ODD< and even bipolar are just not parented correctly. :thumbdown: I should add that my oldest with ADHD is doing worse and was recently dxed with bipolar, which runs heavily in the family. We are doing this book in Sunday School, and I am really, really struggling. Making it worse is that my dh, who is in denial about a lot of things and never reads, is actually wanting to read this book (Rosemond's) and then pin all the blame on me.

Here in NC my ds is in tenth grade PS. I am not happy with it and I don't see where he really is, either, but that is a whole different story. 4 classes per semester, 1 1/2 hrs each no study hall not much homework, and the little he has is usually in math he is not in honors or AP classes, and most of the kids in his classes are bad, make bad grades, etc. and have no plans for higher education. They are the low income kids and the p*t smokers. Sorry...just calling it as I see it. Ds isn't a dumb kid, but he has ADHD and slow processing and typical schooling does not bring out his strengths. Ironically, people often think he is smart, and when he was homeschooled many assumed he was very bright, if not gifted. But he tests "average" and makes poor grades. The one thing I think is good about his school is they offer "reateach retest" so you don't *have to* fail math or English or any other subjects that you have to pass to graduate. If you have the initiative to get help, they will help you.

I emphasized the last paragraph. I used to believe these things strongly until I had a boy do poorly in PS. He tried kindergarten (disaster), and first grade (better, but he still worked so slowly he missed recess nearly every day-and it wasn't because he is just "undisciplined"). He had issues in homeschool (2-6th), but did better in a more relaxed, individual setting. Dh felt he should "be in the real world" in middle school and high school, so he went back to PS for 7th, where the downward spiral began. We are a family who ISN'T in crisis, we eat properly, try to get to bed on time; my kids have always been active outside; my dh isn't a bad role model or absent father... Now what I HAVE learned is that he DOES have ADHD, whether others believe that is "real" or not; he doesn't CHOOSE to not pay attention and have others mad at him or to make bad grades all the time due to lack of attention and organization. There are some BAD teachers out there, and some who are just so-so. School is very dry for many kids--notes, quizzes, tests. There are a lot of other kids who are a bad influence and depending on what classes your kid is in, there might be a really large # of them... I could go on and on.

Oh, I have been feeling soooo alone lately, I am glad you posted this. I am in a time of life right now where I don't know what is wrong with my oldest. He seems to be getting worse--with whatever it is he has, if he "has" anything. He is finally going to be getting a psychological evaluation--thru the juvenile justice system, because that is the only way we could make him do it. :sad::sad: Everyone who knows what is going on has said that is the only way they can see it happening. But I don't feel the love for him in those statements. I guess it is "tough love" and protecting him from himself...but sometimes I wish someone would just take the time to call him on the phone, ask him what's up and how's it going, etc....he doesn't have friends, really...just messed up kids at PS that I am scared for him to be around. Church people, homeschoolers...they tend to avoid him. It's hard! So hard! Is it going to be "he's just a bad teen" or is it bipolar or Asperger's... Then my other 3 dc aren't perfect, either. 2 act pretty ADD...my oldest dd very likely is dyslexic, and my 9yo is not a great reader; he also has some dyslexic tendencies. I worry constantly that everyone is judging me, blaming homeschooling, etc. My mom is not very supportive. We have no relatives nearby, and even if we did, it wouldn't help. Most of them are "messed up" in their own ways. Now our S.S. class is going to do Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond. I used to love that guy, so common sense, so old school like my mom. But as my dc have gotten older and I realize that so much of that just doesn't work with my dc, or I just don't agree with it...I don't like his books nearly as much as I used to when I thought it was easy to be a "good parent." I skimmed some of the chapters yesterday and realized just how scornful Rosemond is of "labels"--he shoots down ADD, ODD, bipolar, etc. and basically says if you are a good parent, your kid won't have these "made up" labels. There aren't many support groups around here, either. I guess most parents just get their dxes and fill a prescription. I wonder if anyone else is dying inside, wanting a friend, wanting to talk?

couple of thoughts: some kids just are more silly; you could also describe them as imaginitive, fun-loving, etc. it could be ADHD or even the mania of bipolar (I am having to consider these possibilities now, after years of wondering what was up with my child)--note, I wouldn't just automatically think something like that those other kids who aren't silly--so many kids acted rather jaded...especially PS kids, and many homeschooled kids act super sheltered and quiet--ther are also PS kids who act super quiet, shy, stuck up, whatever I have learned that no one personality type is "right"...but I know what type adults prefer...and I know that there is a type of silliness that drives away even the silliest of kids. I also know that I just don't know. Kids are kids, and they dont think like us. And I think too much!

This is a super painful topic for me, as I used to have that sensitive boy who didn't fit in (he is still somewhat that boy, but at 15, he would be very angry if he heard me expres that thought). He went to K and 1st PS and had issues. The Michael Phelps articles about how his ADHD affected his social and school life, and how his mother is his biggest supporter pretty much sum up how it was for my ds (minus the swimming skills!) We just didnt like the whole PS culture, and feared his drowing academically, due to the ADHD issues, not his inate intelligence. So we homeschooled 2-6th. I saw how he didn't fit in, anywhere, and how mean other kids treated him, even hsers. Sadly, all the talking we did about this sort of meanness didn't alleviate all of the pain. He never had a true friend. His worst place to be was church, where all of the "good" PS kids and favorite hs kids shunned him and mocked him, usually just under the adults' radar. Things would happen sometimes that looked like his fault--then I'd find out later how it was actually the other kid that started the whole thing, like pushing him down a couple of steps, and then HE'd get scolded for goofing around, while pastor's kid or rich kid with important parents got off scot free. Dh decided he didn't like ds the way he was, and that PS would "fix" him. SO off ds went to PS 7th grade...the middle school scenario most sane adults say is the worst time to put a kid into PS...and even the worst time for most PS kids. It was a nightmare most days. The price we've paid wasn't worth it. He is now in tenth. The good points? He has made good impressions on SOME teachers (but most see ADHD kids as a problem, even if they acknolwedge their friendliness, love for reading, or whatever their strengths are..they still have to come down hard on the negatives, and tend to blame the kid for their symptoms). He has a variety of friends...although I am beginning to wonder who all TRULY likes him or if he just thinks they like him. I know in his heart that he values the people that others do not, and isn't ugly to anyone, ever, even the outcasts you shouldn't be seen talking to if you want to be popular. The bad?? Well, because he doesn't fit in with the ones we moms would approve of, the "good" kids, the honors and AP kids, etc....he is hanging out with the p*t smokers, the rebels, the discipline problems...and now HE is doing those things also. I found him last weekend in a bad neighborhood looking very awkward trying to fit in with some dr*ggie Goth types...I fear for his safety these days! The more I read about Aspergers, the more I wonder if that is part of the problem...I don't even know if he realizes anymore that he doesn't fit in with anyone, and that his trying to fit in with the bad kids is only going to lead to heartache??? I have had some adults try to pin it on homeschooling, and those same adults will say that my other kids should be in PS to "fit in with the real world" and it just makes me cry. I don't think he is the way he is because we homeschooled him. I miss those years so much, but I am so sad that he never had friends, and now he is looking for friends in all the wrong places. Other "geeky" homeschoolers we know are excelling, or have gone on to PS high school and are excelling there, so ds is still in the minority.

I only wish this were our experience. :sad:

I used to rerally believe that we were the only family with problems like this! ;) Now I am finally starting to hear of other kids who hit each other, scream at each other, pick, pick pick... etc. and I feel a little better! Not that I LIKE it or anything... PS isn't necessarily the answer, either. I can't think of many PS kids we know who are very nice at all to anyone not their age, especially their sibs. I have one in PS and we are having a terrible time with him. Our situation is extreme, but he comes home and cusses his 14yo sister, disses her for liking Christian music and for not dating, etc. He acts as though his being PSed makes him superior in some way and constantly badgers me when the other kids are going to be put into the "real world." :huh:

Sadly, this doesn't surprise me. Even more sadly, my dh is clueless and said again last night, "Dd wants to go to PS high school, doesn't she?" (she doesn't) Then he went on to say that most kids would benefit from PS. That is the mentality of most adults I know that don't homeschool. Never mind that my 3 dc who are homeschooled are very social, polite, etc. My ds' piano teacher tells him, "Oh, it's a shame that your sisters and brother aren't in PS! How are they ever going to get used to the real world??" Ds, who IS in PS (10th grade) is acting worse than my other kids. He is trying out all the things we homeschoolers find horrifying. But even with that knowledge, adults like my mother will say, "Well, he is so naive because he USED to be homeschooled; that is why he is going wild now." That is their theory about every previously homeschooled kid--that they will act bad once they get to PS BECAUSE they were homeschooled before. I am FED UP with this mentality! I can't think of many things I like about MOST PS kids! Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for making this point!!!!!!! I was PSed and I never liked math. I took Alg., Alg. 2, and Geometry. I have no idea how I even passed Geometry, but I tried hard and I got some tutoring and I think I made a C overall. Otherwise I have always tested well, and made a 5 on my AP English exam, and CLEPed out of English, French 1, and Humanities in college. People consider me intelligent. My math was not neglected. I do remember the way things were done in PS, I often didn't really "get" the concepts. The beauty of homeschooling and choosing curriculum like Saxon, was that I was able to teach my own dc in a different way and make sure they had the time to get it before we moved on. That said, when my 7th grade ds entered PS, he was a math trainwreck. They used GLencoe and they said Saxon itself was a trainwreck. I disagree, but then again, I'm not an "expert" and I probably failed my child, right? He's been in PS 3 years now and is still a math trainwreck. SO I guess the PS can't do any better by him than I could. He IS ADHD, but that's considered a "made up" thing by so many people, especially homeschoolers. This thread is just making me mad. I think many homeschooled kids are/were not served well in PS and they did better in HS, but no one wants to admit that.

So he didn't wind up going to PS? My ds uses Glencoe at his PS. I hate it, too. Is it a bad curriculum, or do I just hate math? I so wish my ds would change his ind about PS, but he likes the "socialization." AACK!

In a nutshell... Dd, who tests as being very right brained, hated Algebra last year as an 8th grader. We didn't even finish Saxon Alg. 1. I then used Keys to Alg., which was similar only better compared to my PSed ds' PReAlgebra class (he is worse at math than she is and has ADHD) I have had Math U See and Teaching Textbooks suggested as better curriculums for my dd. She is begging to do Geometry, but it seems to be standard that you have to finish Alg. 1 to do any kind of Geometry. I personally do not do well with any math; Geometry was harder for me than Alg. (I guess I am better at following steps and rote memorization, but those are my dd's weaknesses) I am hesistant to spend money on anything new but need to figure this out! I do not want to re-do Saxon, even with a DIVE CD. I have the chance to look at Math U See. I don't know if I would be able to see anyone's TT. So, which curriculum? COULD she do Geometry or is that a bad idea?? TIA!

I totally understand, although we never really pushed ours to participate in sports. When he did choose Pop Warner as a 12yo, he was really "too old" to be any good, as the other boys had played for at least 3 years or more, most of them since age 7 or so! I hated the atmosphere of PW...the kids cussing, parents cussing, the meanness, etc. Swim team was much better, but we still encountered meanness and snobbiness. 7th grade ds also wanted to go to PS because his dad pressured him all the time to try it and be "more like other kids." Now dh doesn't understand why ds has gravitated toward a very different crowd than the preppy jock crowd...and he is afraid ds is going to wind up a dr8g using loser. :( I still feel this terrible pain for my ds. He is fifteen, annoying to the hilt sometimes, has all this energy with nowhere positive to channel it, and is so awkward with other kids, but still acts good with the right kind of adults. He doesn't, however, make a good impression with every adult at school. I am afraid for my awkward ds. SPorts didn't help him at all.

M 15yods was dxed with this last summer. I suspected it from a young age, but bought into the "it isn't a real disorder" theory and figured homeschool would be best for him. Going to PS made it obvious he couldn't function in a classroom. UGH. Here is my most helpful link: http://www.additudemag.com

my 9yo is finally excited about reading, as long as it has to do with Star Wars! :)

As a mom of one and possibly another ADHD child, I must say I think a parent has a RIGHT to want some outside help and relief, and that doesn't mean he or she is a bad parent! ADHD is not caused by bad parenting. What looks like "bad" really can be the ADHD. Not setting limits, etc. can exacerbate ADHD, but sometimes it is just NOT the parents' fault at all! Who doesn't need help and a BREAK sometimes? Would the homeschool co-op rather we parents of less than stellar students put them in PS?? I remember this horrifically out of control little boy and his mom came to our homeschool skate day once. She was trying homeschool because PS wasn't workng for him. Well, the moms were sooooo snotty toward her, she seemd very distraught, poor mom! I never saw her again, and it really struck a chord with me. Sad!

Ok, seriously now. Those who would be considered "unfit to homeschool" probably wouldn't consider doing so anyway. I just don't buy the "moms who don't clean enough and let their kids eat junk food and don't make them do enough schoolwork" argument. We aren't to worry about anyone else but ourselves. I think you would be a good homeschooling mom! My dd is much like yours and just turned 5. I actually went thru a period of considering PS for her to start school, but lately I really don't want to do that. I have 3 other dc and some degree of hyperactivity or lack of love for sit down learning in each one of them. Does that mean *I* am the problem? Only if I make no attempts to educate them and help them learn to be organized and hard working enough for real life. But, I have an older ds that was much like my youngest and your dd and he was a *disaster* in PS. There were PS teachers who were *unfit* to teach him and other wiggly boys like him. Most PS teachers have no patience for that. It must be hard. I truly believe that is why so many homeschooled kids seem to have learning and attentiion problems, etc....not because they are homeschooled, but because they would have so much trouble in a regular PS classroom, that HS is better for them, to learn and grow in their own way. I feel very strongly about this whole subject, as I am learning even now with dc ranging from 15-5 what true learning is all about and what just looks good to others.

My rambling thoughts... I have two teens, a 15yods who is in PS (long story) and a 14yodd who is HSed. I have sen both of my dc's and I recently created an acct and my dd and I are on each other's friends lists. I thought it was "over the top" to force them to provide me their passwords when we started this whole thing, but what I have seen of my dd's, she speaks openly about Christ, usually has a cool Christian song on there, and has communication with her friends that does not in any way dishonor herself or Christ. My ds' on the other hand.......:thumbdown: I am ashamed to say he is not acting in a Christlike way on there, ever, and neither are his friends. He has some "Christian" friends (they go to our church, or they go to some other church, but I don't know much about them). Most don't seem to be Christian in any way, nor do they seem to have morals. But let's take that even further...most of the "Christians" shock me. He deleted my sister from his list as soon as she suspected him of wrongdoing; he refuses to add my dd. When he went missing for a weekend, police detectives went into his acct for us and posted a message. Then I knew his password. Then I found out even more that would shock every good parent here. Is it Myspace that is the problem??? No, I don't think so, but it proves that you can have two totally different children, and that it is all about their hearts. It is a powerful way to snoop on our kids, but what we do with what we find out...well, that can be tricky. My ds is acting terrible now that he knows I know all this stuff about him. He is acting more deceptive than ever and blaming me for being over the top in his business. He says he has a "right" to privacy. I hate to admit this, but I liked my child better when he was homeschooled and more innocent. But adults who don't understand say "you can't shelter them forever!" and say that my dd who isn't anything like him should be in PS, too and that it would somehow be "good" for her. I am eaten up with fears and doubts and dying dreams for my dc. My speace makes me feel sick, but only when I think of my ds. ANd I pray every day my dd's heart won't go astray the more she is exposed to the world.

I felt this pain and dh convinced us all that ds would be better off in PS. So off ds went to 7th grade. He is now a rising 10th grader. How did this all turn out so far??? Terrible. They don't care in PS. They give up on these kids. That is our experience. My ds learned a LOT more in homeschool, even though it was not in the way most people would approve of (reading real books, lighter load of typical textbook work, more freuent breaks, etc.) He even admits it now, but he doesnt' want to be HSed anymore. He is also into bad kids and bad activities. Not the football or band dh and I envisioned. IMHO, you aren't ruining your ds! :(

I found this a while back and I just used it with my dd, age 14... http://www.periodicvideos.com