I think it is fairly difficult to get a "thorough" evaluation. I do think it is more typical that a bunch of forms have to be filled out before the appointment. Parent rating scales, teacher rating scales, etc. Often the child even fills out one, depending on his or her age. The main reason I freak out now at the thought of a brief eval from any dr is because my ds actually has bipolar disorder, which is usually made worse by stimulants. In fact, the stimulants can bring it out; if there is a family history of BP, they shouldn't be given stimulants. I am one who disagrees that it is desirable to avoid stimulants in all cases. ADHD is managed better by meds than by any other means. Diet, all that...might help, but not as much as the right med. And the meds really aren't all that dangerous if prescribed and taken correctly. There is a bunch of anti med hype that bothers me, especially amongst homeschoolers. I wasted years of my ds' life homeschooling him and thinking I had this awful child who couldn't focus, flew into rages, etc. If I had looked into it all more seriously when he was younger, he could have maybe gotten the help he needed before he got to be a balky teen who turns to weed and alcohol to self medicate and have "friends." Better to accept medical help. Drs aren't just pill pushers.

I wish I had known this before letting a ped prescribe my ds stimulants. It went very badly, and then we still had the ped and school chastizing him for not taking meds for ADHD. As soon as we got a psychiatrist, bipolar dx, and mood stabilizer, he also explained to us that stimulants are NOT a good idea for kids with a predisposition for BP. WHich my ds has. It is in our family history.

I have seen several websites for med assistance. Not sure off the top of my head what they are, but I could llok them up soon. Maybe start with this site: http://www.bpkids.org I am shocked at your cost for Abilify. Under our pharmacy plan, it is a mere $35 per month.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91397 I am dumbfounded. As a homeschooling mom in what I think is a sinking marriage with a nonsupportive dh, I feel really disturbed right now. Sometimes you can do everything "right" and still not win, as in the case of this mom and her kids.

Funny, I just watched it and remembered Morgan Freeman was in it. Now I understand why I have always loved that guy...I literally grew up with him! :001_smile:

I am another one who avoided meds for years and was amazed at the difference in my son's productivity. Sadly, they also triggered some bizarre changes in him, which I believe are now explained by his dx last fall of bipolar disorder. Stimulants can do that. Now I wish my ever so balky teen boy would give the BP meds a chance, get stable, and eventually go back on something to help him with the ADHD. On good days, he wants to go to college, but on the path he's on right now, it's looking like a pipe dream.

I am one of those parents who was totally against medicating when my son was younger and in public school. We had challenging homeschool days as well (2-6th grades), but, like your ds, mine especially had trouble focusing on subjects he didn't like (certain aspects of lang. arts and ALL math), and sometimes couldn't sit still and be quiet even for beloved read alouds. In K and first grade (PS) he was considered behind, bad, etc. but also bright and likeable. One common misconception of ADHD is that the kids can't possibly have it if they are intelligent. NOT true. Many intelligent kids DO have ADHD! Another misconception is that PS teachers, etc. "want to make the kids medicated little robots, zombies, etc." Puh-lease. The BEST teachers my ds has had said it ever so gently and kindly...that my ds had trouble paying attention, NOT because he was dull or hopeless or bad at math...the only thing really holding him back was his inattention and his impulsivity, NOT his brains or manners or how he was raised. My ds is in tenth grade now and failing PS. Finally he has an IEP and is getting more help. He did try meds for a while, but the damage to his self esteem was already too great. Now it is somewhat of a pride issue for him and he thinks he should be able to force himself to do better because many other adults have told him so, and kids make fun of ADHD kids, even medicated ones. He has had other kids tell him he should go take his pill so he can be "normal like the rest of us." So he quit meds and is doing much worse! Plus he also has been dxed with bipolar disorder, but won't take meds for that either, because well meaning adults say he should just "control himself" and "make good choices." I have read enough about ADHD and bipolar to know that no one is casually slapping some labels on him. He has these conditions and ABSOLUTELY needs meds AND counseling to get on the road to recovery. If my son were 7 again, I definitely would get a thorough eval and find out if meds and/or counseliing would be appropriate. Nothing to fear and might even be life changing! Try this link for lots of good information: http://www.additudemag.com

having spent the last 11 years or so trying to MAKE this happen for my now teenage ds, I can honestly say I am no longer convinced that ADHD is a made up disorder or a product of public school brainwashing. My 10 and 5yo dc also have serious focusing problems. I don't hesitate to call it ADHD. I am ready to look into meds. The only reason my oldest doesn't take meds is because he tried them and soon got the additional dx of bipolar. Stimulants aren't good for kids with BP unless they are on an effective mood stabilizer. 10 years ago I never dreamed I would be saying such radical stuff on a homeschool message board! The overall homeschooler vibe I got from others IRL and on message boards was that there is nothing a good spanking won't solve, or a diet change, or just being homeschooled. Well, we struggled in homeschool, and now my ds struggles even worse in the PS that my dh thought would "teach" him to focus and "behave." I don't mean this in a rude way. It is hard to explain honestly, but I feel strongly that it should be shared. I wish I had been able to realize what my ds needed when he was younger and more easy to treat.

Ditto.

I agree. In my experience, they often think that they have to start at 8 am sharp, do each subject for a specific amount of time, do the exact # of activities and pages the TM tells them to, and it usually has to be a certain curriculum, with no deviations.

I will answer your question with a question: What constitutes failure??? Is it really failure just because someone else thinks it is? Just food for thought. I always get upset reading these threads and doubt this time will be any different.

Is this SPAM or what?!?!?! :confused:

Doesn't surprise me. We put our then 7th grader in PS. I was appalled at al the s*xual stuff, even with the "good" kids (good grades, often "gifted", on all the sports teams and cheer squads) My oldest was in PS kindergarten as well. He was propostioned by the neighbor girl and her cousin to have a little 3 way, 5 and 6yo style. :ohmy: Thsoe were some super troubled kids, though. Even their grandma had a live in boyfriend in the singlewide.

I bolded taht part about what the school says. We had a similar experience when I put my 2nd grader in PS, thinking it might actually be a good thing. Because he was weak in reading, they insisted he had to be set back after two day sof school and he was super nervous to the point of acting like he didn't know anything. They told me he couldn't get Title One help unless he was in first grade (although the school's website states there is a Title One teacher for all the grades). I said I didn't want to do that. They wouldn't test and said they don't believe in dyslexia. Then they told me I was free to take him back out of PS if I wasn't going to put him back in first. I took him out and have never looked back!

How do you request the waiver?

We used to do that too! We made some friends that way! :):grouphug:

I would take him out of PS, period. I put my ds in in 7th grade and it was bad. He did better at home. Now he is in tenth grade and messing with bad stuff and hainging around some of the kids I never thought he'd like (kids I don't want him to like!) He has an IEP and the majority of special ed kids are from rough homes and have very bad behavior. My ds is more the ADHD annoying type, but good teacher recognize that he is sweet underneath the problems behavior. School is ruining all of our lives, though! Another thing--if your ds every fights one of those kids back, he will get suspended also. That happened with my ds. Dh also wanted a tougher kid. He didn't accept that he wasn't tough like so many PS kids. But he wasn't happy when ds finally got more like them and started fighting back, cussing people out, etc.

I can't think of many specific titles, but maybe something from CPYU or by the author Tim Kimmell might be a start!

I also think you might want to research bipolar. I recently read The Bipolar Child and also The Bipolar Teen. I have a 15yo who is getting progressively worse and is now acting as though he prefers to be delinquent. Not the same child as a year ago, and totally different from when he was a boy. But he had (still has) the symptoms you described your ds as having. It sounds scary, but I think it can be managed with therapy and meds and a loving family. I wouldn't delay, although many folks would say "avoid getting a label", etc. etc. Just make sure you get a thorough evaluation and maybe a second opinion. Hugs to you!

Sounds liindo of like my family. The oldest had a formal dx of ADHD and bipolar. The others probably have ADHD as well, and sometimes I wonder about the youngest having bipolar. They say all this stuff runs in families big time, so it isn't something that is our "fault" due to parenting or whatever. I have to remind myself daily lately!

Driven to Distraction and Delivered From Distraction by Ned Hallowell ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster or something like that

After years of frustration with my ds, we put him in PS. Boy, was *that* a mistake! We did discover that homeschooling really was better for him. However, it was rough on our relationship. I am not against meds. We did try them. 3 of them, in fact. They worked very well....until he freaked out and refused to take them anymore. Part of the problem was the side effects...made worse by inflexible school rules such as, "you can never go to the bathroom during class." Others included dry mouth and frequent urination. Also, knowing what I know now, the stimulants may have triggered mania...he now is considered bipolar. I really don't think it was just another "label", either. There is something not right with my ds and I've known it for a long time now. We just don't know how to get him the help he needs. Most homeschoolers and many public and private school parents I know are against meds and don't "believe in" ADHD. Probably don't believe in bipolar, either. They think everything is behavioral, due to bad parenting, or can be solved with special diets. I think that all sounds nice, but I am past that now. I don't mean to sound bitter. If meds worked without side effects for my ds, he'd be on them again. Another part of the problem, though, is that he is a teen and he is balky now. He thinks we shouldn't be allowed to "change" his "God-given personality." Although he now says he does not believe in a GOd who would make him this way. I recommend getting help now before you possibly have a discouraged and defeated and know it all teen like I have. He is still in PS and in the wrong crowd and failing. I wish I had gotten help when he was younger.

2 of mine hate to read. One is my 14yodd and the other is my 9yods. They both have dyslexic tendencies (no formal evaluation, though...can't afford it in my area). I love reading, and so does my oldest (15yods). So, I can't really blame myself for the others not liking it. It's just how they are wired. They are very active; that might be part of it. They rarely sit still for long!

Did you know that there is a Christian music version of this game called Guitar Praise? I just saw it in CBD catalog!

I hate to even get going on this topic! When my ds entered PS middle school, another homeschooled girl we knew entered shortly after him. Her mother told me a few months later..."Her teacher says she is so well-behaved and makes As and Bs, so she recommends that we put her in AIG (academically and intellectually gifted)." The girl was reasonably bright and had repeated a grade in homeschool because her mother wanted her to...she had also been in a very small Christian school for a time. My own ds was one of those distractable types but an interesting conversationalist...people always assumed he was gifted because of his verbal abilities and because of his interest in chess, music, and well-above grade level reading. PS has been a disaster for him. He now has the label of ADHD and seriously hates learning in a school setting. His experience in middle school was that the "gifted" kids were all of the teachers' and other school personnel's children, plus all of the preppier kids from "good families". Everyone else was "not gifted" and treated as such. He was used to being yelled at and told they would "never pass the EOGs" and were the "worst kids in school, not like the AIG kids." The AIG kids lauded it over the "dumb kids" and enjoyed their position of favor with teachers and administrators. They were the sports stars and popular kids as well. Now those kids are in Honors and AP and are mostly still the ones everyone "loves." So many of those "gifted" kids acted about as dumb as a box of rocks, and you wondered how they stayed in the "superior" classes. A few have been put in lower level high school classes, so perhaps they weren't as smart as they thought they were. Many of the "dumb" kids were really into reading, or music, or other talents, but for whatever reason, rarely made good grades. I don't know if there were ANY LD kids or kids with any other disabilities in the AIG classes, but many in the lower classes had issues (same scenario in high school) Most parents around here brag incessantly about their "gifted" kids. One family I know will turn around EVERY conversation to tell you how smart their kid is. I just don't see it, either. SHe got into a debate one day with a homeschooled girl about Pochahontas, for example. She insisted that Pochahotas was only a Disney character, despite the other girl's explanation that she had just read a book about the real Pochahontas. But, from what I have observed, many of the "gifted" PS kids do not value reading except for the "AR" points and are not particularly knowledgeable about literature, history, or anything fine arts. They do tend to be the earlier readers and the ones to whom math skills come easily. Rant over!