yet, ds was so hard to deal with as a young adolescent, dh and I both thought he might actually be happier in PS and do better with "structure", "more qualified teachers", more diverse population from which to make friends, etc.
Well....:rolleyes:
What we've seen since 7th grade at what I'd consider a really cr*ppy middle school, is mostly negative.
He has ADHD, so that really affects his learning and memorization. Mostly, it affects him by causing him to have all sorts of organizational challenges, which caused him to get tons of zeros and frustrated teachers galore in middle school.
Kids like this fall thru the cracks in the humongous overcrowded high school. They are not considered college material and are not taught as though they are.
In middle school, any kid not in "gifted" classes seemed to endure a lot of verbal abuse from their peers and even their teachers. Because except for maybe 3 students in each "nongifted" class, the rest were the "riffraff" a previous poster mentioned. If you didn't know (*really* know) my ds, you might even consdier him riffraff. I mean, we don't have tons of money; I'm not a PS teacher, and dh is a blue collar worker. Those factors coupled with ds not making good grades and playing several sports make him look like one of the many burnouts there. :(
You have to be failing to be considered having real problems. Passing is the goal in the high school, not good grades.
He is not exposed to many of what most people would consider the "good kids", so the ones he does spend a lot of time with, he feels out of place with because we aren't really like "that", or he makes the occaisonal friend and we are cringing because we don't feel comfortable with his going to the friend's house or doing anything with said friend. :eek:
It is almost impossible to meet other parents, and the ones *I* would identify with have honors kids, not kids on my ds' "track."
Ds rarely wants to read anymore, but he loved to when he was homeschooled. Ditto for piano practice. What once was a passion is now a chore most days. He is always tired, shows signs of depression, and occasionally acts out in really ugly ways that make us wonder about how good PS is for his moral character.
I was floored when he actually admitted to me last night that he "hates school.' Poor kid. He's held that in for about 2 years now, always saying he wished he'd never been HSed and that HS is for "geeks and losers." Well....when he was hsed, he hated kids with taht mentality!
My mom thinks my ds is bored, scared, and depressed because he is surrounded by kids that don't care, kids that don't do well, and adults that don't think they're capable....when we didn't raise that kind of a kid. People *used to* think he was sooooo smart, when he was hsed. We've even had a few PS teachers say he "seems smart". But his aptitude test (they call it IQ, but it isn't really, as it is a group aptitude test) showed him to be slightly below average. I really think that's because he didn't have the attention span to do it And what he is graded on now--proper notebook setup, low level comprehension questions, and very dry assignments....those don't inspire him to learn. He finished his latest book of his own interest last night, Hitler Youth. But most likely no one would ever realize he is interested in history, and when presented in textbook format he rarely remembers much unless it already interested him.
So. Is PS "evil" IMHO?? No.....but it is a huge disappointment for me and I think it might even be for my son. I will be praying HARD before making any rash decisions about my other kids. I'm scared of ruining them, quite frankly.:(