It's an interesting question, and not one that I think has a definitive answer. I'm an only. I'm a girl and, thus, was destined to be my mother's mini-me. Except we are opposites in every way, and I developed a taste for my own opinions. Around 4. (which is when the problems of scapegoats normally start, right around school age: 4-7) I'm primarily a scapegoat, though any success I have gives her bragging rights. (and there's a whole lot of self-sabotage over the years to keep her from having that ability) My year-older cousin is the Golden Child, for no other reason, I suspect, than being my mother's namesake. (My mother has no idea that while in Jewish tradition naming a child after a deceased loved one is an honor, naming one after a living relative is a slap in the face.) She is also the child of my mother's oldest sister, and there's a whole lot of psychology there. When my grandmother was at the end of her life, I broke my no-contact, moved into my mother's home, and helped my aunt (who had also walked out of her life and moved in) care for her. My cousin flew in for a weekend, complained about her back aching, visited and recreated, and left. After my grandmother passed away, my mother called me for something ("blah, blah, me, me, me, blah, me, blah") and, rather viciously told me how my aunt was so "mean" in her comments about my cousin coming and being basically another person to care for. As an afterthought, she added, "of course (aunt) only had the nicest things to say about YOU!" in a voice dripping contempt, as if my aunt's appreciation was completely undeserved. (Of course she appreciated it. She's a nurse. I worked as a CNA in highschool, and as a paramedic then and after. She didn't have to cajole and teach me while I feigned incompetence! I could and did help, which is what I was there to do. She got a break! A helper!) This is just an example, but that comparison has been made my whole life: no matter what my cousin (whom I adore, by the way) did or did not do, it was the best or completely justified, by virtue of being her choice. Anything I chose to do was ignored, belittled, and what I chose not to was an inexplicable missed opportunity, most likely due to laziness. My eldest daughter was a Golden Child for my mother. I have no doubt that she pretended my daughter was hers before she was old enough to contradict her. My second daughter was also being groomed to be a GC, before I cut off contact again. I suspect part of that dynamic is nothing more than part of further scapegoating me, by undermining me and "taking what is mine" for herself. My boys aren't even a blip on her radar. She really couldn't care less. So, yeah, there is some psychology on the making of a scapegoat. Books on the subject tell me scapegoats are usually the strongest member of a family, whether that is the cause or the effect (and, in true DoNM fashion, I wonder if the authors just say that to make us feel better). Birth order may have something to do with it, as well as gender, but there are other factors at play as well, and are the predominant ones when you're an only. Wow. That was a really long not-answer-to-the-question. Sorry. I'd guess that she sees their willingness to please as some kind of weakness she loathes in herself, so she rejects them in favor of the more "aloof" personalities that she wants to be the "real" reflection of her.

I get the holes in some shirts but not others. Some of the shirts with holes are better quality (I would assume) than some of the ones without. I have a couple Lord & Taylor and Ann Taylor tops that have them, my ON and Gap ones typically don't, and I wear those more often. We have laminate.

Nope. On the other hand, I've been registered to vote for 23 years and have never been called for jury duty, either. :001_huh: No idea why.

I agree. I think there is a reason 10 year olds have parents. We take the kids' preferences into account, but we are ultimately the ones who have to take the long view and make decisions that support that. As they get older, and can see how the here and now affects their future goals, their opinions and preferences get more and more weight in decisions. We have many friends who have made different educational decisions than ours. The thing they all have in common is that the decisions were made thoughtfully, accounting for all the variables of their particular family/child they could. My opinion is this: you need to find out what she prefers about going to a b&m school. Is it the social aspect? Is it a rigid structure? Is it lack of accountability? And then, you need to find the sweet spot between your academic (and future) goals and the pieces she desires from her school experience. Finding that spot can be tough.

LOVE IT!!! I have a similar one, but it's not microfiber and - I'm not even gonna lie - I can't find it. I find it periodically, but then it goes missing again before I can use it. I am staring at cobwebs while I type, in fact. We have a whole stable of microfiber towels, bought in packs of 20 or 25 for under $15 at Sam's Club years ago. They're awesome. I use them for everything (except cobwebs, obviously). I also bit the eco bullet and bought Seventh Generation wipes for the bathrooms. The kids are supposed to take turns wiping down after they brush their teeth at night (they were doing well for a while, but have been slacking... I cleaned the toilet and sink while I was getting ready for work this morning, so they'll be back on routine tonight) and it does keep everything much cleaner. I'm still not a fan of disposable wipes, though. In my house, it has also been helpful to have a husband who works a 24 on / 72 off schedule, and doesn't think he's "helping" when he does laundry, makes supper, or educates the kids. ;)

Bootcamp For Lousy Housekeepers? Managers of Their Homes? My problem is always that the "someone to tell me what to do" seems to have different rooms and "stuff" than we do. I end up ignoring half of it while the rooms/stuff we have goes to h3ll in a handbasket. Sigh. (I have no idea why I quoted you. As if I'm replying to someone else? I blame my husband for drinking all the coffee. :D )

That was my thought as well. Taking any special needs out of the equation for a moment, if the 7 y.o. is in school, where are the other 3? Daycare? And then you can trade a couple hours of every day preparing/schlepping/coming in from school, including packing up the other three for the car/bus stop run. In our area, elementary kids don't get home until after 4. And they have homework, so you will still be fighting the worksheet battle, but during the dinner and bedtime prep hours. I do think the expectations and logistics need to be reexamined, through reality goggles. The season of infants and small children in the house is not a high-efficiency one. It gets better, but everyone needs to let go of the static portrait of perfection and understand that this is one of many phases in life.

In all honesty, we send them back to bed with the direction that they can come back down when they can be pleasant. Sometimes, the whiner goes back to sleep. Sometimes, the whiner sits up there kvetching to him/herself for a while, then comes down at least somewhat more pleasant. But, yeah, that start to the day doesn't fly well here. At all.

You can do that setting up a free website on Google (sites.google.com IIRC). Then, there's a widget to redirect your domain name wherever you bought it (e.g. I bought mine through Register.com and there's a widget there to tell the domain name service where that domain name should land -mysitename.goole.com-). I can't remember if I had to set up the Google side, too.

I'm glued to it, too! I have my own Loquacious Lulu and can probably track down a fiver somewhere... I guess borrowing from her wouldn't be cool, right?

You have done nothing wrong. You have simply been designated the scapegoat. :grouphug: I highly recommend "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" link and "When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends" link. I cut off contact with my mother for what many people would see as "petty" but is, in fact, a pattern of behavior that devalues and degrades me as a person, going on as far back as I can remember (early childhood). I was clear about boundaries, clear about my feelings, and clear about the consequences of ongoing, specific behaviors. I gave multiple "second chances". I have no regrets. You need to use your space to reflect on what you have, what you want, and what you think will be the best course of action for you and you family. Don't let anyone make that decision for you or guilt you into anything. I'm so sorry. :grouphug:

Uuuuummmm, you don't? Cats aren't known for minding. I honestly don't think I've ever met a cat that had any regard for their humans' wishes about where to sleep. As far as they're concerned, we work for them.

I'm fine with PP, but would totally get it if someone emailed me and said "I'm not very comfortable with PayPal, would you accept a check or money order?" An enumerated list of what I must send the buyer? Not so much. Apparently, people have gotten hip to the "I'll send you a check for $2500 for the couch you're selling for $150. You pay the movers who will come to pick it up." Uh, yeah.

I hope the wine and pizza and chocolate don't all melt together. :ack2: I actually make that face. And I find a dearth of the ack face on my email and Google chat all the time. It's :glare: Hopefully, tomorrow will be instead.

What the...???? Ok, I'm sorry. Who asks that?!?! And who answers? If somebody asked me that in an interview, the only "answer" they would get is a diatribe on the appalling state of interviewers and the questions they think as appropriate.

I would totally expect a phone call, too. My SIL teaches an inclusive classroom of 4-5s, with several kids on the spectrum. She makes it a point to know her kids and spot off behavior, particularly with the kids who have trouble in communicating complex ideas. She would call if someone seemed off, even if just to find out whether they had slept well, or if something else was going on at home that might be affecting his mojo. I'd like think that's what any normal person would do. :glare:

Ok, I'm going to try and attach this. Evidently, you can't attach to PMs?? So, it's a zipped file, with html files. If you open the ch7_0_0, you should be able to scroll along using their navigation arrows. (At least, I'm assuming you can) ch7_tp_0.zip ch7_tp_0.zip

It's this one. We ordered it through Pearson, though, and I honestly don't recall any kind of preview available. I'll look on the computer & see if I can pull a topic file from the ebook for you. It's really not terribly in-depth, though. Just the facts, and I assume the schools use an additional book for "health".

I'd probably direct you to a human biology textbook. Our Prentice-Hall Science Explorer "Human Biology and Health" covers the parts & processes, and general life-cycle, but not the more touchy-feely "how your body is changing" content. Eta: it's a PS textbook, and geared toward middle school biology class.

:iagree: Other than the (I assume) neuro-related stuff, that sounds exactly like my kids right as they're coming down with something. Off, oversensitive, atypical crying... And they often throw in lack of coordination and other weird things. But they (my NT, verbose children) rarely mention they're feeling unwell until they're indisputably ill.

Barkeeper's Friend (or Zud) and a toothbrush works wonders.

Well, really, it's not unheard of for squatters to just move in when they know the landlord is not local, and simply pretend they live there, even in rather upscale suburbs. One can't assume. ;)

Uh, aren't they committing fraud, then, if they have called the utilities and claimed to have moved out to avoid being billed? And, since there is now a record of their having moved out (per their phone call to the utilities), doesn't that mean whoever is in the house are trespassing and, thus, subject to arrest for breaking and entering? You don't know who it is, you're out of state and no one answers the door. All you know is that YOUR tenants moved out on whatever date.

Yup. I force myself to get up and moving, one foot in front of the other. And if I'm particularly unmotivated, I Gchat a friend of mine who will say "ok, we're doing x for the next x time. Set the timer and meet me back here for tea and a cookie, and progress reports then!" :lol: I find that watching Hoarders usually makes me feel "ok by comparison". There was episode that the "hoarder" really didn't have an extreme amount of hoarded stuff. And I kept thinking, "what's wrong with her house? She's just messy. Like me... OMG SHE'S ON HOARDERS!!!" yeah, that got me into gear. :lol:

Yup. Klassy. I really don't even care what his convictions are. Any website offering money to the person who can invade someone's intimate life first is just... :ack2: What's next? They'll be selling his (stolen) panties on EBay? Aaaah, just more signs of the decline of civilization.