We've had some of the same challenges. Our solution was a good, long talk between dh and I were we cleared the air about our frustrations, unreal expectations, and my guilt about doing anything besides being home when he was awake. We decided together that homeschooling was a priority for us and that it had to happen. First we tried adjusting our schedule to his, and that was a disaster for us. We missed so many outings that we wanted to do, and frankly I became lazy about getting anything done. Finally we settled on not always being at home when dh was awake but being sure to return home for at least a couple of hours of family time. If we were home, then schoolwork happened as usual after a few good mornings and hugs. Best wishes as you find a solution.