Just to ecourage musicality, I think I would play lots of music, sing, and buy him perhaps a keyboard and whatever else you can afford. Any and all games involving music are great. But to encourage dedication to an instrument is another thing altogether, and you might start with one and it might not be a good fit, so later you shift to another, perhaps a couple more times. And age and maturity are important too. Some instruments can be started young (piano for some, violin) and others are better for older kids and bigger fingers. Be guided by his interests..and what you can reasonably afford. Not all musical kids will end up experts at any particular instrument, though, but if you follow TWTM you could have him do 2 years of piano and see how that goes. But maybe wait till he is 8 or 9? My very musical, dyslexic son just couldnt handle piano....the coordination necessary. But given the correct instrument (recorder, but classical) AND brilliant teacher (elderly retired teacher with an affinity for teaching boys) he became a very talented musician. Then at 14 he lost interest completely and now just listens to pop music and sings a LOT, :lol:.

:lol::lol::lol:

It sounds like me with my son, who is fine athletically (not brilliant, just fine), but has struggled academically. Now for me, someone who loves to learn, to read, to write, for whom a classical educaiton is a joy...it has been almost impossible to conceive having a child who struggles in all these areas and couldnt give a toss. I just think its important to keep things in perspective. Our kids are not here to make us feel good...we are here to serve them in the best way we can, to foster their strengths and talents and accept them for who they are. If your son isn't athletic...I agree with the pp....is he at least having some fun? Here in Australia, and I know a lot in the U.S., people worship sports. But not everyone- for many of us, there is life without sport. Dh was in a queue the other day and someone ahead of him was making a comment about the cricket match being played that day(cricket here is like baseball over there- huge)- the cashier shrugged and said she didnt follow cricket and the person was surprised. What, you dont follow the cricket? Dh piped up and said he didnt either, and he said it was really funny because once the guy had been served and left, all the people in the queue behind him also piped up and said they didnt follow the cricket either. Its almost sacreligious to admit that here! :) There is so much more to life that being good at any one thing, like sport. More improtant to enjoy something that keeps youactive and healthy, than to be competitive. My kids got into non- competitive gymnastics which keeps them fit. And Scouts. Neither care much for team sports. But if your son really has co-ordination issues, he may also have learning issues, which is another issue altogether.

I think the problem is that you are trying to reach her rational side with reasonable explanations, and moral ones, and she is not yet capable of using reason and rationality, or morality, to over ride what is a very powerful emotion that arises in her from her unconscious. She may have a deeply primal wounding over her sister being born- something she can't access consciously. Something that made her feel she was missing out. Some kids get that. She is 6. It may be many more years before she develops the maturity to be able to handle the situations you have portrayed with generosity and selflessness. Thats realistic, and condemning her or not accepting her as she is, right now, will cause you a lot of stress over those years. She cant help it...but she can be slowly helped to manage her overwhelming emotions. I have found, with my son who is my high needs, demanding, unreasonable and difficult child, that acceptance of how he is, is very important to my sanity. THen I discipline him, communicate with him, in ways that feel appropriate- but it is very different from being in resistance to him, which really always makes it worse. Really listening to him helps too- without necessarily solving his problems or giving him what he wants. Then, the approaches others have suggested as well...but from a place of acceptance that she is how she is, right now, and probably simply cant just "switch off" her jealousy or competitiveness or sense of lack. Its not in her capacity at this stage..but it will develop because you will make sure it does, and that is what she needs to learn- but who of us learn our lessons at 6, quickly? Better to see her developmental stage, and work with her where she is at, than moralise and resist her. But I would still put her in her room, and all that, if she treats peopel disrespectfully. But disciplining her for her behaviour is very different from disciplining her for emotions that arise in her. Emotions and feelings in themselves are not wrong, ever. SHe might respond better if she knows you know she cant help feeling jealousy, but you want her to learn to manage how she behaves with it. And at times, I would also really empathise with her, how hard it is for her- without backing down. So for example, when her sister has something she doesnt have, you can say to her, I can see you would realyl like that too, and it hurts your feelings, - in other words, you can honour her feelings without succumbing to her tyrrany, or being responsible for fixing her feelings. I dont know if I explained that well. I really do also recommend Siblings Without Rivalry- it is an excellent book.

I watched Its Complicated with Meryl Streep last night (so, so funny- great, meaningful, beautiful movie about getting older). Meryl Streep looks absolutely gorgeous for her 60+ years...but I would still say thats about how old she is. But she has a wonderufl attitude to life. My MIL also looks 15-20 years younger than her 75 years (and until recently had the much younger boyfriends to prove it). I think its genetics, plus taking care. DH is overweight- he was always very handsome and slim but when he put on weight and grew a beard, it definitely aged him. I have photos of my in my late twenties with the kids as babies, and I could have been 16. People have told me that fo rmany years and my dad often comments on it when he sees me every few years- that I never seem to age. I see the ageing, though. I have used moisturiser (in this hot dry climate) since I was 18, every day. I never use soap. I have stayed out of the sun for years and dont use sunscreen. A skin doctor told me last year I had the skin of someone 10 years younger, and he reckoned it was because I stayed out of the sun. However, I do go in the sun in the morning and evenings- I am not pasty white and I have a light tan. I am just very careful (I got burnt a lot as a teen and have the type of skin that gets cancers, so I am careful). I eat well, lots of fruit and veg, and I have been a meditator all my adult life, which helps with stress, which is a major ager. I understand that a little weight is ok as you get older, but too much is definitely ageing. Being skinny can be ageing too though. I have seen photos of women in their 40s and 50s before and after they got into some big exercise nad health regmine and often, honestly, I tihnk they looked better before. Softer, more voluptuous. Hard shiny muscles dont do much for me in a woman in her 50s! People who have learned to let go, to forgive, who have a good attitude to life, who smile and laugh a lot and have joy in their lives, usually have a more youthful feel about them, even though they have laughter wrinkles, than those who are weighed down by life, and who have become bitter. I think maturity shows on a face, too. I have often pondered the OPs question also..how is it that we can tell a person's age? I am not sure but there is a certain "feel" to ages, I think. A woman in her 40s can be more self assured and settled in herself than one in her 20s or 30s, and that has a different feel. But when we panic and dont want to let go of our youth (ahem, not me of course) we also stand out. But still we can tell the age. I dont know how really.

I guess people might have said the same about me. My parents separated when I was 13 and I went "off the rails" after that. I often think...when they asked me if I wanted counselling, they should never have *asked* because I was too young to even know what that meant! I said no- it seemed shameful to me to get counselling. They should have insisted! It might have saved everyone years of heartache, most of all me, if I had had counselling. Instead I "went off the rails" but I came good (in my late twenties). My brother was the good child and went to uni and got a good career etc. However....the lessons I learned, my experiences....I am so grateful in so many ways for the path I took, because it was unique and I have had a very interesting life. If I had just done what my brother did, I would not be happy. So...everyone has their own path to tread and you can't really say they never needed to do it. My dh has some very strong ideas regarding the kids. His oldest dd- my stepdd21- has a model's body and she wanted to become a model for a while. He was very, very firm in his No Way. Not because of anything moral except...he didn't want her having that lifestyle, around those sorts of people, with that mentality. He didn't want her in an envonment that had potential danger involved. He has been the same about the kids being in bands and that sort of thing, actually. He doesnt want the lifestyle attached to it, for them. And...he has had a VERY wild life, and mine hasnt exactly been sheltered...so its not so much conservatism as a having been rather worldly, and wanting to protect the teens from the most obvious potential pitfalls...from his perspective. But I think there is a tendency to look at your kids and go "where did I go wrong' if they appear to go wrong. But it doesn't always work like that at all. We do our best. Our parents did their best. People who go off the rails are actually doing their best, too, from their own perspective.

It's not possible to spoil a 1 year old. Babies CAN'T be spoiled by too much carrying, attention, love. They are not MEANT to be independent. A 1 year old is a baby.

No friends that you dont know in real life. This is important for my 2 as they have so many friends it would be easy to start adding friends of friends. The truth is though, they have so many friends that I dont know, through Scout camps, that I cant realistically monitor this rule. I just ask every now and then. Check every now and then that they havent actually found settings that allow them to hide things from their parents. My 2 decided after a year or 2 that even deleting their parents would be fine....it acutally took us weeks to notice, believe it or not. Then they had to put us back on and we are more diligent! In return for being Facebook friends with them - and many of their friends as well, and some parents of some of their closer friends- who voluntarily asked us to be friends with them- we do not make a fuss over inane conversations, mild swearing and slang etc. In our case we are on the lookout for more serious stuff than that. It has been good for keeping an eye on them in some ways but we like to stay fairly distant. Its embarrassing enoguh for them that their friends who are friends with us, actually see what we post on our own walls :) You should not be getting spam through Facebook. Have a look at your settings, make sure they are not public.

Yes, I will do this. I didn't do it this year- although I probably read that many books. It would be good for me to expand my reading beyond the types of books I normally read, too. And to discuss books with others. I am a bit of a lone reader and dh really tries to listen but is not a reader himself :)

Normal here. It got to the point, though, that I did accept (mostly) that "we cant do it all", and try to focus on what we did rather than what we didnt do. Its impossible to know what they will need in their future too, so I can only hope they are well enough educated to do whatever they really want to do. I think it can get a bit stressy worrying about our kids and whether we are doing the right thing by them. Looking back over 7.5 years of homeschooling...I dont see how I could have done anything differently, really, given what i knew and our life situaiton and the nature of my kids, at any given time. But what I do have is lot sof good memories of reading together right into their teens, a year studying LOTR, lots of history. I probably sacrificed a very rigorous education for one that was doable, relaxed , interesting for us, and "good enough" in some areas and "excellent" in others. I wanted to give them a good education but I also wanted them to have a beautiful and loving childhood, and to value living in the moment as well as knowing how to prepare for the future. I didn't want to sacrifice the spirit of joy of their childhood, for too high an academic bar...so we found a comfortable place in the middle there somewhere, and they seem to be doing pretty well. Time will tell!

I learned fairly quickly that our homeschooling network was so great, we could be out and about every single day. I realised I needed to prioritise. I am a morning person. For many years, we spent 3-4 solid mornings a week doing work, as well as evening read aloud. One or 2 of those days we would get the afternoon 2. As time went on, I insisted it was 4 mornings a week and several afternoons. I woudl never book activities for mornings if I could. Sometimes there were full day events or co-op activities that I would compromise for. And some of those activities were always educational, like Latin classes or drama. But basically...you have to protect your academic time and sacrifice other things. During school time I stayed in the room with them, available to help them- no housework. I didnt answer the phone or allow visitors. I couldnt have done anything like a classical or rigorous progam without this (and I was not especially rigorous). I recommend getting yourself organised...it really makes a difference. THat is something that homeschooling taught me, in the many hours of sitting at my desk while my kids worked - to study how other people organised themselves. It took a while but now I am organised.

We lived together and had 2 kids before we decided to get married and make it official. The kids were 5 and 3.

Yes, America is full of people just like anywhere else. It would work. However, yes, the war against drugs- mainly the media's brainwashing- has created so much prejudice that there would have to be a big turn around and I doubt the government woudl be willing to go there...yet....but it is heartening to see that people are looking at such things at least (hopefully here too). Change often takes a long time. There is a lot of corruption at high places when it comes to drugs, though. I read the other day (loosely paraphrasing) that only something like 20% of the world's heroine came out of Afganistan a decade ago. Now that it is occupied, something like 90% of the world's heroine is coming out of there. Its not a nice business, war. And there is a lot of black market, international, high level stuff going on. It's not so easy to research that another way of handling drug addiction and the crime form drugs is available and far more effective- here's proof- let's change. The poeple who want to make the changes will be villified by the people who have investments in the actual criminal corruption, who are also involved in policy making.

Do you think its the time of year? As much as Christmas does have its beauty...I am so glad to be steadily returning to my normal routine where I can stay more on top of things. Do you have a system that works for you? I have tried many for myself over the years. Everytime I think of something that needs doing, I write it down in my one page to a day large diary that sits open on my desk next to my computer. All phone messages etc and notes get written there too. That way nothing is lost. Then on my right on the wall is a large squared desk calendar where I write all appointments- I like to see them at a glance so a month to a page works for me for that. I also have a book where I write my dreams, my projects I would like to get to, etc. For me though, writing everything down as I think of it, no matter how minor it seems, helps keep it out of going around in my head, or maintaing the effort of trying to remember it all (that much memory space was filled up long ago- not much space in there any more). Most days I write a TO DO list and having notes of tasks that need doing- even if they go back for several days- helps me prioritise each item. I read Getting Things Done a few months back- excellent book for teaching you organisational skills.

I like the movement towards trying to express any kind of disability as something the person has rather than is. We are a society of labellers. But none of us are the sum total of our labels. It's true, language carries a lot of power with it. It pays to be careful with our words. That is an important Buddhist concept- right speech. And then there is the extreme political correctness that takes it all to ridiculous lengths and is more about appearing right than actually coming from a good place.

I am so glad my kids are older now and earn money themselves..this year has been our leanest Christmas for years and we warned them the pickings would be light. Dh bought me a new camera, and dd16, who used my camera a lot and kind of trashed it, got my old one for keeps (she has a good one- this is her one for camps etc). That was actually her suggestion. Ds15 got his computer fixed and his dad paid- normally ds would have to. His dad is also paying for his skate board/long board to be fixed. However...we do not save up presents for Christmas, generally speaking. Ever since the kids were twinkles in our eyes, we have shopped the 2nd hand market, and it has been a weekly Sunday morning ritual for us to go to "swap meet" nearby- a car boot 2nd hand market, like a giant garage sale. Also, we buy most electronics 2nd hand or on sale too. So, the kids are always getting stuff...designer labels, books, clothes, toys, electronics...for very cheap prices. However, at 7 I must admit we didn't have ipod touch or mobile phone issues. They did have friends with phones but our deal was that they had to have an income before they got one. I think its hard for us parents more than anything, when the kid wants something- some kids have a lot of wanting in them. However, my kid who is the big wanter, also has an amazing ability to manifest what he wants one way or another. Whenever he gets obsessed about wanting something, somehow he makes it hpapen. So I have learned to say "I wont be getting that for you but lets see what happens now that you want it" and usually someone gives him money, his dad changes his mind, or he earns enough money. I think a kid who wants a lot should be encouraged to earn their own money- perhaps entrepreneurial business- even at a young age. It empowers them to realise the value of money, and to see their savings accumulate. I know 7 is young but I am pretty sure that a kid who really wants material stuff, often has strong motivation.

I was ready to run first thing in the morning. Dh hadnt yet organised putting up shade around the pool for our Boxing Day party- he had only had weeks to get that done! So on Christmas morning he realises this really needs doing, and when our friends come over for breakfast he gets them all out there putting up sails with ropes (after looking for them for half an hour)...and he is not a patient man about such things. Some choice words were spoken. Stress levels ran very high. My feelings got hurt. Once it was all done, however, dh calmed right down and apologised and was on his best behaviour for the rest of the day. We didn't get to open presents till mid morning which was actually quite lovely. So, I am glad we got the drama out of the way first thing.

Several years ago we all knew it woudl be my uncle's last Christmas. He had been dx with a kidney tumour and given 3 months to live- 2.5 years later he was still alive but it had spread and we knew it would be the last Chistmas. My grandmother paid for the kids and I to go over to my mum's (other side of Australia) and we had the last big whole family Christmas. My mum does Christmas well and it was great, and we all have great memories of Uncle Max, who was a very loving man. He did die later that year. He was not afraid of dying. He was buddhist and a meditator, and he had had a near death experience years before. He made everyone feel so good. I think its great to focus on the good times and create happy memories rather than get morbid about it. We all have great memories of Uncle Max phoning us regularly just to connect and tell us he loved us. He never knew when he was going to literally drop dead because his cancer spread to his heart and a piece could have broken off at any time and killed him...and one day, it did.

Its not unusual to us because its a traditional Aussie dessert especially for Christmas, but Pavlova might be strange to Americans, I am not sure. Its a meringue base smothered with freshly whipped cream and fruit- traditionally banana, kiwifruit, strawberries and passionfruit, but there are many variations. Its light but yummy, which is perfect. Also, seafood is very common for Christmas here. It was 40C here on Christmas day- well over 100F. Hence the non traditional Christmas food. People have all sorts of things.

http://www.greenpasture.org/retail/?t=products This site sells some of the products but not the liver, apparently- you could contact them, though, and ask them, citing the Green Pastures website in Australia. It looks like the liver capsules are produced in New Zealand from NZ pastured cows, so while that is a good thing for the quality of the product, you might be best importing direct from the source, so to speak. These people have a liver support product that contains bovine liver. http://www.standardprocess.com/display/StandardProcessCatalog.spi?ID=99 It could be worth checking if they also have a plain liver product because I have several dried organ extracts of theirs, include thyroid and adrenal, but I cant find them on the product page. Might be professional only products. Here is another one: http://reviews.bodybuildingforyou.com/enzymatic-therapy/liquid-liver-extract.htm

Beware. Another year or two...and your sweet icky boy wont be able to help himself. Its all in the programming. :lol:

No one I know really knows me in the book sense well enough to know what to get me- not even dh who is not a reader at all. I didnt get any. And thats fine- I have several by my bed and a great queue of them on my bookshelf to get to.

No, in many families it is quite normal for fathers and daughters to be very matter of fact about opposite sex nudity, and mothers and sons too. In other cultures also, there is not such a fuss about nudity. It is very much a cultural thing, rather than an inherent one.

Yes, excellent point. :iagree:

I agree with the Bean Dip. if that is enough. If not, your approach sounds good. Some people just need the thick boot up the a*se approach because nothing else works. In particular....I know as a wife and mother it means a LOT to me that my dh would stand up to anyone and everyone to defend our decision to homeschool (he is so proud of it he still tells people we homeschool even though we just stopped :) ) SO if it helps your wife at all I really suggest doing whatever is necessary to protect her from having to deal with your family at least over the issue. Be the lion. And I know that in our case, for many reasons to do with wanting to live our own values and rear our kids our own way, we have distanced ourselves from certain people, especially family. We just didnt want their input and werent prepared to compromise ourselves by socialising very much with them- including grandparents. By doing our own thing, they realised that if they wanted to have a relationship with us or the kids, they had to bite their tongues and just accept us and meet us in a civil way. We were always prepared to go it alone, and we mostly have. Dont engage. Its a form of defence that invites attack. All our families are very proud now of our kids. Your family will see in the long run that their fears and judgements are unfounded...and they probably are well meaning in a twisted way- but it may take years and you have to build a fortress to protect what you are doing without having to justify it to others.