I have never played with mine much either. Dd woudl definitely have loved us to play more board or card games- and we have done, but not regularly. Partly because until recently, ds was eomtionally unable to handle a game unless he was winning, which took the fun out of it for teh rest of us. So...not much play here. However, I do let them play their songs in the car and let them tell me about them. We do have our own family sense of humour and lots of laughs. I do read aloud too even now into the teens. And we talk a fair bit. I feel ultimately..ideally..I would have liked to have played more with my kids but I am not giving myself oto hard a time. I think maybe thats what grandparents are for- I can imagine playing with my grandkids! Because then I send them home with their parents.

I would keep focusing on the positive as you are doing, keep her excited...and give her some space to grieve as well. It's natural. Once she is out of the kindergarten environment, she will move on and adjust to her new life. I took my 9yo out of school against her will. She loved school. It took 6 months or her to stop asking me when she could go back. I worked hard to create a new life for her full of new friends...it worked. It was an adjustment period and it broke my heart at the time. I am so glad I hung in there, though.

:iagree: with this. I think you are both right and there is a place for both approaches, and I woudl be careful before undermining the more male approach (not that you necessarily are), particularly after giving the more "female" or nurturing approach a good go. I think your dh has a perfectly valid point and it is factual. In school, kids do learn to suck it up and get on with it. And that develops a certain part of them. It's different telling a 6 or 8 year old he must suck it up in regards to bullying, than telling a teenager to get a hold on his emotions because its disturbing everyone around him and its time to focus on something other than himself. Generally speaking..I would and do take the more female approach with my highly emotional ds14...and dh takes the more male approach. Ds14 does milk me and manipulate me because of my approach. I do wonder if more male approach and less female approach might be more appropriate at a certian point- but each child and situation is unique. And as Spy Car says...a normal, healthy man with compassion will be able to do both as well.

I have some fond memories of being in nature with my nature loving dad. Camping, fishing, bushwalking, making fires, and we used to compete making gardens. Definitely not completely absent. However...emotionally not a very present person. He is a scientist, and astrophysicist (retired now) and he was a workaholic, leaving most parenting to mum. He went away for large chunks of time, observing. I do remember several memorable family holidays. They separated when I was 13- very devastating for me. I went into my teens in depression and my parents could not really reach me- in retrospect, I should have been forced into counselling, but both parents were obsessed with their new partners. I did live with my dad for about a year after mum moved to the country- it was not a happy time and I was an agry and hurt teen. I left home at 16. I didn't really reconnect with my dad till my twenties, and it has been a friendly relationship since then. I had done therapy and forgiven him, but it is still where I have been quite wounded. I dont see dad often- he lives on the other side of Australia. He came and spent a week with us in March- that was the most time I had spent with him since I was a teenager, and it was good..but still, "friendly" would be a better term rather than warm and close. He has cancer. I love him. I will miss him when he goes and I will love him as much as I can...and, it will probably never be especially warm and close. But, its ok and I am glad for what it is. My husband is nothing like my academic, intellectual, scientific dad. Dh is warm, effusive, affectionate,in your face, dominating, not an academic type at all. Possibly the opposite of dh? He is also an older man- 13.5 years older than me- so definitely likely to be some father stuff in there.

Yes, I couldnt think why anyone would think any of those were particularly icky. But certainly I will agree cloth nappies win the day.

SO...is it you who are a little jaded with going over it a 2nd time, or the kids...or both? Is it relaly a problem for the kids? I did find there was an issue with the kids needing to do more writing, and it not being so much fun. I quickly dropped outlining KHE for that reason- that was going to kill love of history around here. I scoured Ambleside and TWTM for books that I felt were the right level for where my kids were at now. The other thing that helped was our terrible memories! I always tweak and make up my own programs from various places, so I pulled together a different program. First time it was mostly SOTW. 2nd time it was K12's History Odyssey and a whole lot of great novels, and Ambleside.

:iagree: Especially for the husband, though. I agree no blanket statements are possible regarding whether homeschooling is generally hard on the marriage. With a supportive dh, I think it can be great for the whoel fanily. My dh and I were living separately when I started homeschooling. We got back together because of homeschooling- he really wanted to support me so I didnt have to work and begged me to come back- so its been good for our marriage. A woman obsessed with her kids and giving little time to her husband, is hard on a marriage. I've been guilty of obsessiveness with homeschooling- spending all my spare time researching it instead os spending more quality time with my dh. Fortunately, dh is a tough nut and handled it ok. A man who demands his wife meet his needs before her own and her kids' needs, is hard on a marriage. Marriage is hard full stop, at times! Expectations, levels of maturity, flexibility, patience...so many variables possible.

I would and have done it. Cold wash, no bleach, just powder. Non germ phobic person here! What do you honestly think would happen to you even if there were germs? By the time everything is washed, rinsed, washed, rinsed, spun, and hung out to dry, not much is realistically goign to survive. If there is sickness or skin diseases in the family..articles affected get washed in hot water and eucalyptus oil in the rinse water. We all wash in loads per person. I wash all my clothes, leaving our the whites and lights if there are any. If the washer isnt full I will toss in other things to fill it up. I am probably the only person in the family who would do it- dh and the kids wash their own clothes but wouldnt think to add in anything from the general household pile if their loads werent full. Besides, dh IS germ phobic, so dont tell him what I do.

That is EXACTLY what I would do too! Because honestly, if you do it for money and its not really the best thing- and especially if you suspect its not the best thing...on some level, you will pay anyway. But so many factors are involved. I would definitely hand it over and ask for higher assistance!

Dd15 has loved olives and also those ginger pickles you get with sushi, ever since she was a baby.

I think it is definitely possible. UNlikely right now...but its so easy to get disheartened feelign like what one does makes no difference...when everything one does makes a big difference. I love this story...a girl and her father are walking on the beach. There has been a storm the night before and there are thousands of starfish washed up on the beach. The girl is skipping along, picking up starfish and throwing them back in the ocean. Her father says to her "Why are you wasting your time doing that? There are thousands of starfish here- throwing a few back wont make any difference to teh numbers.". The girl responds, "Yes, but it makes all teh difference in the world to every sinlge one I do throw back in the ocean.". I dont think it matters whether all homelessness is eradicated. We know it could be, ideally. So coudl all starvation. But what matters is that, if one is drawn to helping in that way, one doesnt get disheartened at the enormity of the problem..and just helps in whatever way one can, anyway.

Oh, a conversation after my own heart. My IRL friends dont understand my love of compost. I went to a workshop recently where, as part of it, we made compost in a huge pile. Alternate brown (leaves, manure, mulch etc) and green (kitchen scraps, grass clippings), leave for 6 months. I came home and filled my black plastic compost bin- just a box really, with holes for aeration- and now I am leaving it till its done. So...dh went out and bought me a new compost bin (around $30) to start making my new batch while the last batch cooks. (He knows how to turn me on- buy me a new compost bin!) I am finding the black plastic boxes work quite well. But then, so would all the other suggestions. My dad used to have wooden boards on 3 sides, open at the front, for his compost. We rent and have dogs and wild rats, so the boxes help contain the compost and keep it neat and unavailable to vermin. I have always wanted one of those roller ones too, but in the end, I think I would rather spend the money on plants and manure etc If I found one 2nd hand, I would probably get it. Like Sandra, I often make garden beds by layering compost materials straight on and letting them sit for a few weeks before planting. It does work really well.

I love that, Rosie :) I do think it's a part of growing up for many kids. I am hoping ds14 grows out of it at some stage, though :) You just have to love them anyway. I am finding teens a challenge and I had really hoped I would be the exception and my particular teens would not argue and push boundaries day after day.

I learned a lot too, from very basic curriculum. I think that's one of the joys, though. pf hp,eschpp;omg. Finally understanding basic math rather than just being able to do it...seeing how grammar works ...when you are a kid, its all so big and you miss bits because your brain cant assimilate it all, and you don't have context. Once you are an adult, you have a lot of perspective and context and it suddenly all makes so much sense. I love it.

I want a Mac. Wawawawaw. My friend who has Macs (and who keeps raving about them to me) told me that when something ocasionally goes wrong or is not 100% up to scratch...they literally send a courier to his house to get it, and then return it replaced or fixed by courier. This is Australia, and a major city, but still...thats good customer service!

I dont really know what you mean by a syllabus...but I have written dozens of homeschooling plans, many extremely detailed, over the years. It always seemed like a good idea at the time, to help me clarify my thoughts and ideas..but I rarely stuck with anything rigid for long. I just like planning. A lot. And then when it comes to implementing..doing what feels right at the time.

Well, I admit guilt, and your husband has a point. There has been more than one time I have come here to escape my homechooling responsibilities. I can always excuse it of course. Its a HOMESCHOOLING message board- I tell my family frequently- I learn lots here. But, my family know better. :lol::lol:

When it comes down to it...what have you been getting out of this, to have put up with it for so long? Are you ready to let go of mummy yourself? We teach people how to treat us, and the only reason two people have these sorts of interplays is because on some level, both want it- even if one seems like the victim. Once you don't want it any more and are prepared to pay the price for a healthy relationship, you will not put up with it. It's simple..not always easy. Guilt can keep up hooked in, and not having a clue what a healthy relationship actually is- no role models. But you do know and something is keeping you in there, prolonging the unhealthy pattern. What is it? Once you pin it and own it in yourself, you will be able to deal with your mother because you will see what she is hooking into in you that causes you to respond passively, while underneath being resentful. And you won't care how angry she is any more, because you will be healthy and you will know that you still love her, but you respect and love yourself too and you won't allow anyone to treat you like that.

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Politicians and governments need to think long term- long term as in- what sort of a world do we want our great grandchildren to be born into- or their great grandchildren? They need to be visionary people of integrity, not short term thinkers. I don't feel we have the right to dig up all the resources and sell them off and pollute the planet. It doesn't belong to us. It never did and it never will.

I dont think I would have done it. We actually stopped all holidays for years because the kids didn't like car travelling- and dh was not patient with their complaining. Eventually we picked up car travelling again when they were teens and they were fine with it. For me though, its always a holiday when dh goes away. It's not that we don't enjoy him around...its just different when he goes away for a few days. THe normal routines are more flexible- its like having a holiday at home. Its not so noticeable nowadays but when the kids were younger it was quite fun. But if South Dakota is a place you've always always wanted to visit, and there is something wonderful there to look forward to...I would consider it. Not just for the sake of being with dh though- for me.

Lol, my 13yo is now an almost 16yo! And we did quit formal logic, and continued in informal logic. Formal logic sounds great in theory and it is inspiring to hear and read the benefits. In practice, it's heavy going. Its where our "rubber hit the road" as far as "classical" education went, and we did not continue that road.

Shopping trolly is a common term used here in Australia.

The woman on the old boards who came here with woe stories and elicited much sympathy, was pathological. There are also many creeps out there trying to find young people to trust them enough to meet up with them in real life. Who's to say they won't try here at some stage. I wuldnt trust that everyone who says they are a woman, who is a troll, is actually a woman. It doesn't creep me out. I expect it, in fact. I know it happens. Even some of the people who come here regularly might have dark secrets and might creep you out if you knew them IRL. I dont know. Mostly, we are just what we seem, but not always. It's good not to be naive.

I think you can try things, but in the end...your kids, all of our kids, are their own people, and they may not turn out like us. They may have different values, they may have different bents. We highly value intellectual pursuits and reading...they may not be here for that. We can give them a good education...to a certain extent...but in the end, they may be heading in other directions. They may be more practical, more arty, more social, less academic that we are. I too was a big time reader and studier. I never stopped. I dont think there has been a time since I could read, that I didnt have at least once book next to my bed, and I read daily, every single day. My kids have been good readers....but lately, they aren't so interested in reading in their own time. I am disappointed. I am disappointed they choose to play on their ipods in the evenings, or chat with their friends online, and aren't always in the middle of a good book. But..what can I do? I assign reading, they enjoy it, I read aloud, they enjoy it....they don't choose to read in their own time at the moment....I think I just need to accept them- they are teenagers. Its their free time. Its not free if I make them read. I think we are often the type that choose to homeschool. We are attracted to it. But our kids may have different directions. Meanwhile..while they are young...limit access to crappy books and keep them on a steady diet of fantastic children's literature. Build the foundation. What they do with it after a point is up to them...we can't control it all, and they need to feel we accept them if they choose to run around being sporty instead of reading quietly.

I am usually happy if I can just read the books. The rest is gravy. I think, considering how few of us, for all our good intentions, actually end up following her program...it might be best to just read the book for most books, and then when you have read a few, pick one to go back over a 2nd time. Even a 3rd if it really touches you. For me, a book I could do that with is Thoreou's Walden. That book really touched me. But I dont have the motivation. I am a book gobbler. There is always the next book to read.