My dd was the same way. She was colicky, sleep deprived, and very high maintenance. She was much better as a toddler, but when she had a meltdown it was a doozy.
But.... the key is "to just finish fast & leave." It didn't happen too often, but if one of my kids was out of control, we left.
Sitting through an entire meal or a wedding or a movie or a concert with an out of control kid is just completely unacceptable to me. I've seen all those, and I know those kids weren't autistic. I'm talking about kids whose parents just didn't make any attempt to address the problem.