Hilarious! How fun when we don't know what they don't understand until they spout out something like that to someone else!

Whenever I had half a chance. I looked through thin wrapping paper. I searched the top of Mom's closet. I carefully unpeeled wrapping paper. Once, I hit the jackpot and found Mom's notebook with the list of what she was buying. Mom never knew because I know for a fact any present I peeked at would have gone back to the store. I wasn't at all disappointed on Christmas morning. For me, I think the compulsion to know whatever I could find out was more important than the gift.

That's not an amusing rumor! I'm with you--I don't know which is more disturbing: the content or the extent of the rumor. Sometime after dh and I were married, a co-worker--jokester type but a sweet family man and one of my favorite co-workers ever--spread a rumor around our small office that I was pregnant. Everyone came by my desk to congratulate me that day, and it took a lot to convince them that I wasn't. Only the fact that it was Tom who they heard it from finally helped my case.

A public school parent might resent the fact that his/her child has to get a certain GPA to play while the homeschooled student might have no grades that aren't Mommy grades. The ps parent might argue that someone else needs to 'verify' the hs student's GPA to make it 'fair.' Another situation might be a ps student with poor grades who is pulled out and called a homeschooled student in order to be able to play. Not an issue if it's 'real' homeschooling but totally an issue if it's a sham in order to be allowed to play. And who's to judge? In a perfect world, there is not intense competition for spots on teams and parents intent on increasing the chances college scholarships. But we don't live in that world. I'm interested to hear stories of how ps make this work. I've only lived in states where it is not allowed or left up to the district (and then not allowed).

Dd met her bff at a YMCA homeschool gym class. They were 5 at the time. During 2nd-5th grades, they probably had play dates 2-3 times per week. The mom and I became best friends too, so that was a bonus. Ds18 met his two best friends at church. He was 7 when he met S, and 9 when he met D and is still very close to both of them. Ds21 had a harder time because, as it turns out, he has Aspergers. He was either a couple of years older or younger than the groups of kids at our small church and had friends but not a best friend.

$70 for the materials for my mil to make it. She did a beautiful job, and I got something simple, like I wanted. When dh and I first started dating, we went to the wedding of church friends of theirs and mil had made that bride's dress so I knew she was an awesome seamstress. For mine, I think she used three different patterns to get the skirt, bodice and sleeves I wanted. Last year, my dd wore the dress to a homeschool ball. A friend took off the lace overlay bodice/sleeves and put in straps and I used fabric paint to color the skirt purple. It was gorgeous on her, and I was so glad we found a 2nd use for it. She didn't quite fill out the bodice, but other than that it fit almost perfectly.

I would have a talk when he got back about why it's courteous and reasonable and what adults do to let others know of their whereabouts and significant changes in plans. Certainly the people you live with should know when you're flying somewhere unless that's just a normal part of your life. I would not expect him to ask if it were OK. That would be his call. I would remind him about the commitments and plans that were made that involved him and that an adult would be expect to have arranged for his commitments to be covered and to take into consideration things like birthday celebrations when they decided to take an impromptu trip.

Definitely. I think my oldest would pay to have Mythbusters damage our house so he could meet and hang out with them.

I don't have nieces or nephews that live near me but I am close to some of them. We also have the oldest kids in that generation, so my dc are 14-21yo and I have sibling in-laws I am close to with dc in the 5-7yo range. I think it's up to you and what you are comfortable/interested in doing. I personally would probably be fine with doing it occasionally if I wanted to be close to them in the long run. I don't see anything wrong in his asking you, but there's also nothing wrong with saying no or having stipulations. It might be best to decide what you'd be comfortable with--only at your house, only every couple of months, only in an emergency, whatever --and communicate that to them. Watching them at their house on their whim is most convenient to them, so that's what they'll ask for unless you give them guidelines.

I completely agree. You'll be happier if you stop expecting them to have qualities they don't have. THEY get to decide what being a grandparent means to them. My dc have grandparents that never ever communicate with them except when we are at their house for the obligatory 2-hr annual-ish visit and other grandparents who call them up to chat and are interested and involved in their lives. I didn't decide any of that; the grandparents did. It is what it is.

Yes, this. I was the smart-alek 9yo who knew that the first several feet next to the road belonged to the city and not the homeowner. So when mean Mr. Thomas came out of his house to tell us we couldn't stand on the sidewalk in front of his house while we waited for the bus, I told him that we were actually standing on city property. I said it nicely, but I wasn't going to be bullied by anyone and we weren't doing anything but being noisier than he liked. Standing on the fire hydrant is normal kid stuff. It could be way worse. Let it go.

There were not enough choices but the only straightforward answer I could give was that none of my siblings would be there for me. That's the most true. I am the white sheep of the family. If you took all the best qualities of my 3 siblings, you'd have one amazing person but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. My older brother has been in and out of jail for drunk driving and possession of something he shouldn't have had. He's a hard worker but can't get along with people. My younger brother is a sweetheart with no job and no interest in having one. He lives with/on my dad which is okay because he helps out and my dad likes having him around. My sister is borderline mentally disabled but has a job, car, and takes care of herself outside of handling the money. My brothers have created their own messes. I will not enable them further and nor will they ask me to. I will help my sister if she needs it and I will manage her money when my dad can't. My brothers would help me physically. My older brother helped my ds move from his college dorm and offered to 'deal with' the roommate that prompted the move. My younger brother would do what he could considering he has no money, no car, and no license. My sister....I don't know what she could do. She's stuck in that self-focused stage of maturity.

A high school friend was in honors English in her NJ high school. She read 6-10 works per school year. Some of them were plays, so shorter, and there may have been some where they were only assigned excerpts. Her 10th grade teacher was quite proud of the fact that they read 10 works per year, so that must be higher than normal. She did say that they would have reading assigned every night but only 3-4 pages.

What helped with my dc was to give them a list at the beginning of the week of what needed to be accomplished each day. There were no breaks except for a half hour lunch break until all the work for the day was done. I did what I needed to do with them at the start of the day, and they then did their individual work after they got whatever instruction was needed. If ds wanted to spend 4 hours looking at his math rather than doing it, I figured that was 4 hours he wasn't pestering his brother. I tried to make it a win-win situation for ME--either they got their work done quickly and that made me happy OR they took forever and I didn't have to referee. Being unemotional about it is important, I agree! Act like you don't care. Matter of factly explain that the work gets done or her life comes to a screeching halt until it is. That said, as they were diligent about their work, I got more flexible about their wanting to move assignments occasionally or even finish up later after a play break. That was an earned privilege though.

Yes, he does. He has undergrad degrees in Marketing and Psychology and and MBA in Marketing. He basically develops and maintains contacts with the high ups in the cable industry and presents his company's product to them.

We're usually there around 11 am and leave around 6-7 pm. Our Thanksgivings have been with extended family and sometimes that's the only time we're all together during a year.

Same here.

Birthday boy's immediate family should do as they like to celebrate his birthday. They can invite whomever they choose. Any invitees ARE free to choose whether they attend. If they can't, they should make sure birthday boy knows that it was due to the hectic schedule and not reflective of how much they love him. This isn't really a group decision. Out-of-state sister is trying to browbeat her family into doing what she wants. They don't have to let her. And not going along with her plan does not equal not loving the birthday boy. Yes, the birthday boy may remember the wedding as 'ruining' his 9th birthday, but as long as that's not typical it shouldn't scar him for life. It may end up being the birthday he remembers best.

I think he did a great job--very creative! Perhaps your dh doesn't have much experience in what constitutes great writing from a 9yo boy.

I remember those lines well. We could go to any registration place--they were scattered throughout campus, and you learned which ones not as many other people knew about. When my CS major ds complains about which stupid language they're making him use in which class (he likes Python), I remind him that I had to program in FORTRAN with punch cards. We dealt with problems like the rubber band breaking around the huge stack of cards, getting the punch card machine with the old ribbon so you couldn't see what you were typing, and managing those huge piles of computer printout while you tried to find your error. So she has to spend 5 min on the computer on Thanksgiving? (I'm assuming she can figure out what she wants to take ahead of time.) Not worth complaining about!

What I have found is that you have to figure out what kind of gifts the relatives like to give and suggest accordingly. (The relatives start asking for suggestions right around Thanksgiving.) For instance, my mom likes bargains. She will not pay for quality. So we find a type of thing similar to what she has previously bought for that child where quality doesn't vary so much. We tell her ds18 wants Virginia Tech t-shirts--very specific, easy for her to find, not expensive, never has too many. She's happy, he's happy. SIL likes to buy DVDs, so we suggest a few. MIL likes to give large gifts, so we try to think of something that is large but not expensive. I have to watch the one SIL because she sees a list of suggested gifts as a list of what to get. She wants to make sure that the child is getting everything on that wish list, and she'll buy it if she hears no one else has. So she gets a shortened list.

Good point. It's been a while since I've read them.

If you are confident that he won't take apart anything he shouldn't and that he'd be up for some supervision, I'd get him a good set of screwdrivers of various types and sizes, some old electronics and safety goggles. My oldest loved taking apart old VCRs, disk drives, stereos, remote controls, etc.

I faint fairly often, less now that I know what triggers it for me. It's apparently a reaction to the adrenaline or blood rush out of my body. I've never seen a doctor about it, and my mom does the same thing. It sounds like your dd had a similar response.

None of us have ever got sick related to a plane trip. We eat regular airplane food, don't wipe down anything, and take no special precautions. Dh flies a lot--he will fly his 90th leg this year on Tues--and he's never gotten sick from flying.