You might want to get your thyroid and other basic bloodwork checked just as a precaution. Mine went a little crazy last year and it's been a roller coaster. For the first time in my life I've been gaining a little weight. I'm not sure if it's age or my thyroid meds but I cannot stop the creep despite reducing portion sizes. What actually helps the most, however, is I have been doing strength training 4 days a week. I may not be able to stop the weight gain, but I can kind of redirect some of it into muscle gain which I know will be protective as I get older.

Don’t quote but: He is far from just making poor decisions.

He is not in process anymore. It’s a very messy situation. 10 yrs ago the process was started and then someone ran off with him out of state. He was dropped off by that person a month or 2 ago with money/assets drained and health even poorer. The people who were originally seeking guardianship no longer can. Their own health has deteriorated. There’s no other closer local relatives. He’s not been a state resident for long so that complicates things. I don’t think we can wait for a long drawn out process. Can you get admitted to ER if caregivers say he’s diabetic and refuses to test or allow his blood sugar to be tested? He fell after wandering and the police just came to the home and told the caregivers where he was. They didn’t take him to the ER or anything. Sounds like any excuse to get him admitted is the way to go?

The plan would be to get him into a care facility that will take Medicaid. There are facilities family members have spoken with that will take him and somehow accept his social security and then get him Medicaid to cover the rest. But he refuses to go. He needs 24/7 skilled nursing. I thought maybe guardianship would be simpler because of this. There is no way he could work. I am a little concerned because I don’t want to be financially responsible myself.

I'm considering offering to be the guardian for a mentally and physically disabled indigent elderly relative. I would need full POA for medical and financial decisions. It will probably not be friendly as the individual involved does not feel a guardian is needed- it's a symptom of the disability. The doctors say something has to be done but nobody is willing to do it and the situation is untenable. Some want to tell the state to find a public guardian and others insist a family member must step up. I'd like to ask someone who has BTDT what it may involve, the time and costs to set it up, and how disruptive it would be for our lives once established. I would also like to hear from anyone who has a family member who is under the care of a public guardian. Would that process actually move quicker and be in the best interests of the person involved? The sooner someone can make medical decisions for this person the better- like literally life/death although he is not currently hospitalized. We would not be having the individual move in with us- we live several states away. Social services has been 100% useless to the family so far.

I'm so sorry you all are dealing with this. I don't have any BTDT advice, but wanted to offer sympathy. I think if there's blackmail involved, then definitely police. Who knows how many people he's doing this to? I'd also reassure her that she's not in trouble, you support her, etc. I know a lot of young people think other people care or judge far more about whatever mistakes other people make than anyone does- and especially loved ones.

We put ours in miracle blankets too until they were about 6months. If she hasn't tried those, then it might help- they are different than other blankets and help you get a more effective swaddle. We swaddled *tight* like really tight. Like I could pick them up by the blankets tight. I know that has become out of favor recently but that's what worked for us. They slept together until they were about 9mos or 1yr. I can't recall exactly. It was a mixed bag- sometimes they helped each other sleep and other times they poked each other in the eye but there's never a perfect solution. CIO never worked. I think it's fine for people who it works for but sometimes you read that if it fails it's because you failed or you didn't give it a good enough try. Like NotaNumber it just made things worse. We tried with my oldest who I maintain was the world's most colicky baby and he'd still be crying today if I had waited for him to CIO and fall asleep. With the twins it was worse because they'd wake each other up and then they'd wake my older one who was still colicky at 2-3!!

I think you could honestly just tell her that as a mother you need to spend more time with your younger son and you are confident that she's ready. It's hard but she can do it and while it goes up and down, every few days she'll find it easier. Could she actually be wanting you to step back but afraid to say anything? Lots of twin parents don't have help and muddle through. Her Dh needs to step up. And she will have to learn her own way for balancing priorities but if she's not ill (PPD or something), she should be able to handle it. Maybe she'll have less time for the crazy making tiktoks. I know everyone's different, but I couldn't really get into my groove until it was just me and the babies- No NICU nurses hovering, no mom, no in laws, just DH, DS, and the babies. She might be nervous and scared but she'll find her way. If you suspect PPD, then disregard the previous, and have some real talk with that DH.

I like NYDJ. I get them from thredup b/c Im cheap.

As a TA I was told by my professor that she "wasn't allowed to fail" students.

I would definitely not go to the one he suggested. I think it's good that the other one is a significant distance away- it reduces the chance that they know each other. FWIW- we went states away for a 2nd opinion. We went so far because for one, the well was tainted near us, and two, we wanted the absolute best advice from the best surgeon our insurance would pay for. I would do it again.

I see it in my dad too and it's very concerning. I think the news shows my dad watches, especially the shows that seek an elderly audience, are really making his cognitive impairment worse/more dangerous. He lives in a safe area. Honestly. Bad things can happen anywhere, but he's paranoid when he has service people enter the home. He follows them- it's not a racial thing, but he's more worried about young men than any women. He won't let my mom hire people to help her clean up the flower beds or shovel snow. They need the help but the scary news has convinced him he can't trust anyone. My mom isn't so scared but she doesn't have the same memory issues. I think the news these days is particulary harmful to at risk elderly people. And the at risk people are most likely to spend all day watching it because their activities are more limited. He doesn't keep weapons as far as I know, but I'm not sure he wouldn't be scared enough to shoot someone who made a mistake if he did. He's in the earlyish stages of dementia. That comes with some personality changes and a quicker, more irrational temper. He's always looking for trouble and assuming the worst. He wasn't like this 25 years ago. My grandparents weren't like this 25 years ago either. It's scary. I wish he'd quit watching the news and just read it. Today I accidentally pulled on the door handle of the similar looking car parked next to mine and thought, dang, could've been shot for that!

Has he tried wellbutrin? That was ok for one of mine for add off label.

We had to go through a few. I don't think Strattera works for many people but if it does, the benefit is that it's not controlled. We tried it when one child was having heart issues and it was worthless on its own, but marginal with a low dose stimulant that wouldn't have been effective at all on its own. We were happy to quit it and go back to normal stimulants when cleared for it. If you don't have contraindictions, I'd try all the different stimulant formulations before strattera. We've tried some that were awful, some meh, and Vyvanse seems to be best for us.

I have a 5yr old who missed our state's K cut off by a few weeks, so we're doing preK/K light and will do official K next year but I think we'll keep on with what we're doing. For phonics, I really didn't want an involved program at this age so AAS and LOE were out although I like their approaches. I chose Happy Cheetah, but it has issues. The pros- It is short and easy- which I love. The cons- it's too sight word oriented for me so we also do 1 page or lesson (whichever's shorter) in Alphaphonics. I also have rearranged the flash cards (sorry, game cards, LOL) for Happy Cheetah into groups according to syllable rules/blends/vowel teams, etc, so we work through the words phonetically instead of by story. Luckily, we did AAS with my older kids, so I feel competent to explain phonics myself. We also have some BOB type books he reads and we do read alouds he picks from the library or home. For math- we do Math Mammoth which is easy and boring, Dreambox, and some sort of challenge puzzles. We're doing a BA puzzles book now but we've done a few other things too. I'm planning to keep with this plan next year b/c I already own most of it. Science- I have some Young Scientists' kits that we work through slowly. It's ok. I'm reminded why I ditched it with the older kids but it's much easier with one child and it's nice to have something with very little planning needed. It'll take us a while to work through the kits I already have. Other- Exploring the World Through Story, A. I really like this because it's so open and go and gentle. I'll probably get the next level when we get through it but we usually only do 1-2 a week so it'll be a while. I'm not sure if I want to go to the Happy Cheetah next level. I mostly like the way I've adapted it, but neither of us loves it. On the other hand, I don't want to do or pay for a big system again. I don't need the whole AAS or LOE package. Do you all know of a nice phonics programs for the early reader stage that is quick and easy? Happy Cheetah has handwriting, spelling, phonics (light), readers, and early grammar and punctuation familiarity packed into 2 pages at most a day. It's going to take 6mos to work through Alphaphonics at our pace but I know Alphaphonics alone isn't enough. I know it sounds like my preK/K kid is doing a lot but we don't do it all every day. We spend about 1-2 hrs depending on how many breaks we take. I have a check list of things to do and he picks what we do that day. Anything not done is done the next day or the day after and we won't repeat anything until everything has been checked off and we start over.

I know I'm late but if that doesn't work for you, I've been buying Mode Cosmetics for my daughter with multiple chemical and fragrance allergies. The ingredient list for this one is small and it looks good on her dry, sensitive skin. I know you said no botanicals, but it's just cacao. You could probably get some powder at the grocery store and rub it on your neck to see if you break out if you're concerned. The liquid makeup ingredient list is longer, so I'm not sure about that for you, but it's ok for us. https://www.modecosmetics.com/face-makeup/powder-foundation/natural-skin-mineral-powder-foundation-shade-221.html

No CT scan. It was just like, "We don't know why he needs them now, but here's some hearing aids." His loss has been pretty stable. He's 21 now and his audiograms are very similar to the ones when he was 5. He sees an audiologist about once a year.

Tell me more about this, please. DS is hearing impaired; relatively late diagnosis, and nobody mentioned genetic testing. Who would we ask? OP- I'd definitely go to audiologist. DS passed hearing test at birth and age 3, failed around age 5. He had no history of ear infections and did not seem to be obviously hearing impaired. ENT told us it was probably fluid in ear, previous ear infections, or bad test. Nobody believed he could actually have hearing loss. He was retested and failed about 3 times. One time time he passed- who knows why? ENT released us and said he was fine. 6 years later- failed school hearing test again- same pattern as before. Took him to new ENT w/audiologist and he has permanent sensorineural hearing loss. He'd had it the whole time. He got hearing aids and it was a revelation. We had thought he was a little adhd, maybe a little quirky. Nope. Hearing loss- now we can't believe we didn't know. DS to this day does not believe his hearing is actually that bad and thinks hearing aids don't change much. It's because he doesn't know what he misses. Not hearing is the same to them as nothing happening. Similarly, the brain will make stuff up so that you think you hear but frequently when the brain fills in the blanks for you it's wrong. Mistakes happen, confusion, frustration...

It was too large for our dishwasher and impossible to keep the underside's nooks and crannies clean without a toothbrush. I liked how it worked in the sink but we tossed it. If it was a split sink and maybe small enough to run through the dishwasher every once in a while it could be nice.

I'm not sure what her twins look like in the carrier, but with mine, I couldn't use the twin carriers because they did not look safe in them. Maybe it would have been ok when they were bigger, but it seemed to me that the twin carriers had the babies' chins to their necks (unsafe) more easily. With my single babies, I could easily get them in carriers with their heads in a safe position but I never felt safe with the twins. It could have been me and my body not providing enough support. I never tried when they were bigger because my back couldn't take it. I could do one baby in the carrier and one in the stroller. She could try getting a stroller safe for newborns and carrying one while she pushes the other back and forth in the house. We were told to absolutely not use the car seat to sleep in when they were really small. It was safe for short rides but not a long sleep while they were so small. I had the baby hammock mentioned above. It was bought out of desperation. Maybe it helped? Really just getting older helps the most. She's lucky- we didn't have any help with the babies. I couldn't have survived without cosleeping. I had a u shaped body pillow that I wrapped around myself, then I would sleep with the babies flat on their backs (and mine) with one in the crook of each arm. They weren't actually on the body pillow at all- it was under my arms to hold them up. No blankets, but I did have a light sheet. I really couldn't move or roll when in position like that and they couldn't move or roll either. All of us on our back....I guess the L&D nurses would say it's unsafe but sleeping is necessary too! DH left for military training when they were less than 2 months old and I was alone w/ a 2yr old as well. She will have to learn to balance risks. There's a risk with co sleeping- but there's also benefits and risks related to being dangerously sleep deprived. When they got to be a little older they were far better sleepers than my first and would go to sleep easily in a tight swaddle if I put them in their crib.

I think we're all supposed to strive for aircraft carriers now? Or is that on the way out? I love some mid rise jeans. How come mid rise straight legs that don't drag on the floor are never in?

Not everyone will gain at the same pace. I can't recall how many ounces they gained at first but I know there were periods of rapid growth followed by not so much. They were all still wearing 0-3 and 3-6 mos clothes at 1 yr. My girls are all small, even the not preemie- the pediatrician said she'd watch their skin tone, energy, and milestones, and if those were good she wasn't worried. Because I'm small. I think most pediatricians would have been on my case about their size (15-16lbs at a year among the 3) but they would have been wrong and added unneccessary stress because they are fine and about the same size I was as a baby. This year, a new doctor has been super upset about my 77lb 15yr old but she is still fine. I think they've finally decided to drop it. I can't say how your DD's twins are doing, but if they were mine I'd decide based on output, behavior/energy, strength, milestones, and skin tone (nice color, skin pops back after a pinch). I think they are probably big enough to have good color and skin tone. I can't recall how big they are but tiny babies will definitely take a few months to get that good skin color and tone. My babies were very "red" and had saggy skin at first which is normal for premature babies, but around 6lbs they definitely had a normal tone. Even my 5lb full term baby was red until she got a little bigger.

I might stop buying random "household objects" for science and arts and crafts. We don't buy soda but DS needs 2 2 liter bottles to make a tornado next week. If I was going to buy it, I'd want it to have something someone in the house would drink. But $3.87 for 1 2L of soda?? That's a no. It'll probably go flat before we drink and I'd just pour it down the drain. I'm going to ask the local giveaway group for some. The same thing for Pringles cans or yogurt cups- I'm not sure the experiments are worth wasting money. I used to be fine with it if it was just a few dollars.

Thank you. I've spoken with my parents and he's with them now, settled in, and safe. There's some serious ongoing medical issues related to the original injury, but he seems ok. They should be able to get him in to the clinic he used to go to pretty quickly. He does not want to call police and he is able to clearly express his wishes. We have an attorney involved now to handle civil issues. My parents are not a good permament home but I don't know what else they can do. I hope they can get in touch with a social worker. I might call myself but I'm out of state. He had money, property, and insurance before the accident but we don't know yet what the situation is now. I think he's pretty overwhelmed and they don't want to push too hard for what he knows after the day he's had. They want to wait until the morning.

I'm deleting this now. Thanks for the feedback. We have an idea for how to move forward. There's no good options, but it feels a little better after sleeping on it.