I respectfully suggest that you inform all the parents . . . Parents really often just don't know . . . and I think this sort of thing is one of those "it takes a village" situations, in which everyone, especially those kids, would be better off if all the parents shared data so you can help guide the kids into safer behaviors. BTDT, kids are idiots. (((hugs)))

This is so good!!! It addresses so many problematic etiquette issues on such a wide range of situations. I've been to fantastic over-the-top-luxury weddings and fantastic church-basement-punch-n-cake weddings . . . and everything in between. Same goes for baby showers. My first baby was greeted by a fancy catered brunch in a nice hotel . . . and my second baby was greeted by a pot-luck-shower at a friend's house. Honestly, the second one was more fun! Both were fabulous. People really need to just do what they can afford and embrace it and enjoy it. But, really, don't invite your guests to pay for YOUR party! That's just gross.

:confused1: :svengo: :ack2: no. not normal.

Well, one practical idea would be to get one of your kids to learn how to bake bagels, etc. I have a bagel recipe bookmarked and am determined to learn how to bake bagels. They are just so dang yummy. One of my more frugal friends, who is also really into healthy eating . . . bakes pretty much all their family bread from scratch. I've seen her whip up 2 loaves of deliciousness in a few minutes. She's magic. I want to learn to do that. . . It is super cheap compared to purchasing baked goods. Especially if you buy your supplies in bulk at Sam's, etc. When I was a kid, Mom went shopping once a week. She'd always buy one box of ice cream. When it was gone, it was gone until next week. Once we were teens, she'd also buy a bag of Doritos and rarely, a bottle of pop. She might buy a box of french bread pizzas . . . Again, when they were gone, they were gone. In general, the treats lasted 1-3 days. After that, I'd often bake brownies, etc. :) Food storage in our home growing up was one normal sized fridge and a couple kitchen cabinets. No big pantry. No overflow fridge. No dedicated freezers full of stuff . . . And no one "ran to the store" to grab a desired ingredient unless it was some crisis surrounding a holiday meal, lol. You ate what you had, and that was fine. So, to me, I think it'd be totally fine to buy some of the treats once a week (or less often is fine, too), and when they are gone, they are gone. Surely, talk to the kids and try to help them learn to be considerate and to share reasonably . . . but there's only so much policing you can/should do for teens/older kids, IMHO. You might make a real point of reminding the kid(s) who often get the short end of the stick that you just bought x/y/z, so they might want to "get a bite before it's gone" . . . Allowing each of them to have a bin/bag/shelf seems reasonable, too, and good practice for living with roommates in college, but you might get stuck policing that, too . . . Encouraging baking/making of desired baked goods like bagels, coffee cakes (to replace pop-tarts), etc, might really make a big difference in your budget and their satisfaction . . . Perhaps if there are 3-4 of them who'd be able/interested/willing to bake, each one could bake once every other week, making a big batch of some yumminess that could last a few days . . . If you ID some economical but tasty recipes, that might help get things going . . . Oh, and as far as sweet cereals, for the first 10-15 years of parenting, we only "stocked" healthy cereals . . . We'd buy a single box of a sweet cereal for birthdays and other rare special occasions (vacations, etc.), and it'd be gone in a day . . . That makes a big difference in snacking on cereal!! They are not gonna' gorge on raisin bran (in my family), but give them a box of Fruit Loops, and it's gone in a day for sure. So, if that's something that might be happening in your home, then I'd totally go with letting each kid pick one box of their favorite cereal, mark on it with Sharpie whose it is . . . and maybe only buy, say, two boxes per kid per month (or whatever is reasonable to you). Mark them when they enter the house . . . Then, keep a good supply of healthy and economical cereals that you are happy to keep in supply . . . This would only work if the kids will respect each other's stuff . . . If they won't, then, well, you got another whole mess to deal with, and I'd probably NOT try to do it this way, as I wouldn't want the conflict/fights/policing.

Sandwiches or wraps? Cliff bars? Bagels? Granola? Dried fruit leathers? Raisins/etc? You can buy stuff at the airport before you take off, too, if you want liquid-y things that might get taken away by security. They often sell hummus & pretzel things that are pretty tasty and not junky enough to make me feel gross. You'll pay 2-3x whatever seems reasonable, but that's sort of a cost of travel for this sort of thing . . . If you eat a big dinner before you load, you shouldn't really need another full meal until you get off the plane! You will probably have enough time on the layover to grab something from a vendor to take on the next flight . . .

I've heard that the MS is particularly important for aero. PhD -- not so much, primarily for academics.

Yup, your vet will likely be more than happy to give you a handful. We own a vet hospital . . . the food manufacturers GLADLY ship us huge boxes of lids, totally free, upon request at any time. They like the free advertising on the lids. :) So, you're really doing NO harm to your vet by asking. Certainly, at our hospital, we'd cheerfully give them to any client that asked.

I think it's a fantastic idea!!! Personally, I *hate* the thank you card etiquette surrounding babies and death. When you have a new baby on the way or already here . . . or just lost an immediate family member, to me, all social etiquette requirements should go out the window. Do it. In fact, you can probably get a lot of it done ahead of time! If anyone gives you any negativity about it, then they are just jerks, IMHO. ENJOY your new baby. Don't sweat the small stuff (or the small people).

My kids have always been way ahead of the typical math sequence. It's not a problem for the SAT/PSAT. So long as you have them put in 5-20 hours in the months leading up to the exam to review using a practice/prep book and/or Kahn Academy, they'll be golden. ALL upper math relies heavily on basic algebra, and so any kid whose still doing some serious math are constantly using the most basic algebra skills (and also getting practice in chemistry, physics, etc.), so they can easily do targeted practice to review and very quickly remember any minor topics that have slipped their mind in the intervening years, and be ready to score very well on the actual exams quite easily. Specifically, despite having done their algebra and geometry mostly in middle school and being into Calculus by junior year, my older two are both National Merit Scholars, having scored in the top 1% of the nation on SAT/PSAT/etc, and each of them was especially strong in math on those exams. DS17 got a 780/800 on his last math SAT in December, having missed a total of 2-3 questions on the math part of the exam. . . And, really, they did very little targeted prep for their exams and could have easily done much more if needed . . . Probably 10 hours or so each for the PSAT and maybe 5 more hours for their SATs, if I'm generous in my estimation. If they'd had significant trouble with recall/etc, then they might have had to put in more time. So, I guess my point is, don't sweat it. AND, just be sure they start a bit of targeted prep 3 months or so before the important exams, so if their first practice tests show need for more time, they have plenty of time to do it. For both my kids, their first attempts at PSAT/SAT practice tests would show sorry math scores -- well, sorry for them, so maybe mid 600s, or 80% or so. Within 4-6 hours of review/practice tests, they'd be in the 95%+ and with a few more hours, they'd be reliably scoring in 99%, with near perfect math scores.

Isn't that why we check this board? Because we're bored? LOL

Actually, if you read my first post on this thread, I readily admit that ALL THREE of my kids did this. I suggest that it's normal behavior. My solution is to buy larger bags of chocolate chips. I'm fine with you disagreeing with me. Raise your own however you want. Give whatever parenting advice you want. *My* advice has already been offered, as has my opinion on the wisdom of locking up food. Folks should and will accept whatever advice that makes sense to them and discard the rest. That's sort of the point. So, I think I'm done debating it with you. You are clearly in the mood for a fight. Maybe you could go to a kick-boxing class instead of trolling my posts. BTW, there is a really cool feature called "Block" that will make all my posts disappear from your view. It'd be super cool of you to block me, so my offensive posts no longer appear in your view of the boards. If you need help figuring out how to do it, I'm sure someone here can help you.

I advocate restricting access to the internet because of the bad OTHER people accessible on the internet. I do not lock up alcohol or sweets in my house. I do carefully control narcotics ,and if I had substantial narcotics in the house, I would get a lock box for them . . . because, to me, narcotics are nearly equivalent to weapons in how dangerous and how prone to theft/abuse they are . . . I think the alcohol is a good analogy, actually. One of my teens "stole" alcohol from our pantry/liquor cabinet several times. We discussed it. We even punished the child. In only partial jest, we did demand that the child to please avoid stealing another $50 bottle of wine from the stash in the basement, as we have cheaper wine in the kitchen . . . For a time, we kept much closer eye on alcohol. It was a short phase, and it came and went. IME, experimentation with alcohol isn't unusual or worrisome, and neither is it surprising for a 16 year old to want to drink some alcohol with pals. It's not good behavior, but it's not something I'd freak out about, either. If the behavior had continued or escalated or otherwise become more worrisome, I would have consulted a therapist to figure out what the core problems were and how to handle it better, and I'd likely have reduced the quantity of alcohol in the house to such an extent that I could easily count/track missing items . . . I would have come up with some ideas to figure out why the kid was doing that. BUT, just locking up the alcohol would have done ZERO to prepare the child to make good choices and to have self-control. When the child leaves home (and even before then), alcohol is readily accessible in the big world. Kid needs to be prepared to self-control, not to rely on parental control. I am much, much more concerned that my 18 year old is ready to handle the freedoms of being an adult than whether my 6 year old is eating sweets after bedtime or my 16 year old snuck a hard cider on occasion. Those "sneaks" are just part of the process of learning self-control vs. abiding my parental controls/fear. SO, in that line of thinking, practicing self-control on chocolate chips as a child helps that same child be ready to use self-control as an adult when making more crucial choices. And, I *do* think that it can be very damaging for a child to feel un-trusted. Locking things up is giving the kid a message that they aren't capable and/or trustworthy. They can't be trusted with chocolate chips??? Trust is crucial currency in relationships. I wouldn't want to give my kid the message of not being trusted . . . not over chocolate chips. And, FWIW, I am pretty confident that the research on food/diet/etc would show that parental control does the EXACT OPPOSITE of what parents want it to do. (I.e., more control == more obesity == more binging == more eating problems, etc.)

I think my horror at the idea of the lockbox likely boils down to my foundational principal that as parents, we are raising adults. We're not co-existing with wild animals, we're coaching little humans into becoming independent, capable, self-directing adults. So, in dealing with behavioral issues, we parents have a duty to find solutions that foster healthy development of self-control, moderation, respect for others, etc. Locking food up is contrary to these principles. I'd lock food away from dogs. I'd lock food away from raccoons. I even hang food up in trees while camping to keep it away from bears. I don't lock food away from people, and *certainly* not away from *my people.* The other part of this is just my gut belief that people shouldn't be hungry and they should be able to self-direct satisfying their food cravings/wishes/desires. When *anyone* is at my home, they are welcome to eat anything I've got here (and I make sure to have plenty), with the rare exceptions for certain things designated for a particular upcoming event/recipe/etc, and those things are respectfully communicated with others. I realize that not everyone can afford to live with an "open pantry/open refrigerator" policy, and if it's truly an affordability issue, then that also becomes something that has to be communicated respectfully within the family. However, I don't believe that anyone ever starved for not having chocolate chips available, and I don't think that's the issue here, as the idea here was just to lock up the attractive sweets, not the entire kitchen. Either way is horrifying to me, as I wouldn't want anyone to live that way.

LOL, I figured it was snark, but I don't get the connection.

Uh, locking food up isn't horrifying to most of you? I find it a horrifying concept to have food locked away from household members. We don't lock things up around our home. We don't even lock our house, lol. Children should be raised in a home where they feel trusted and respected. I don't think food should be locked up. Period. Unless it was a life threatening issue, such as locking up narcotics . . . or locking up dangerous chemicals when you have young kids in the house who don't know better than to not drink drain cleaner . . . or locking up weapons . . . those things should be locked up, of course. And, sure lock the bedroom door as needed so you don't inadvertently traumatize your kid or yourself when the kids barge in during Tea Time. But, other than those sorts of things, I'm not a believer in locks around the home. Period. Lock up chocolate chips? Uh, no. Never. Nope. Find another solution. Don't buy them at all, or buy more of them, or hide them in "dried sea weed" bag, or whatever . . . but, if you've gotta' lock them up, you've got much larger problems than a sugar high or a missing dessert. How about find a solution that doesn't scream "Future Therapy Bills" or "Fast Track to Eating Disorder" or "Control Freak Mom"?

Huh???

This is horrifying. What an awful idea.

Educational IRAs (Coverdell Accounts) are what my mom did. Gave us checks, and then we deposited to our kid's account.

A gorgeous wooden cradle -- one that is of a quality to be handed down for generations, but newly made so you know the finishes are safe and it's up to modern safety standards? I'd have loved that. Swoon. My mom gave our first born a beautiful, substantially large, painting. It's a Noah's Ark themed work (which was the theme of her nursery, as well). I would guess we'll have it in the family forever, as I can't imagine discarding it. A silver baby spoon?

Try 1850/mo. . . . and that's such a great deal. It would have been 2500/mo if I hadn't set up a work plan (we had been on the ACA Individual Exchange, now we are on the ACA SHOP Exchange -- which is for small businesses and has better plans and better rates). Insurance SUCKS. The companies are evil. Fingers crossed that some good comes out of all the suffering we're all going through. Single payer is the way to go, IMHO. (With supplemental insurance if desired . . . just like they have in every other modern nation, lol.) And, for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let them put Medicare into the open market!!!!!! I keep trying to tell myself that no one would REALLY do that . . . and then I see the proposals . . . It gives me a heart attack just thinking about it. The only good thing about getting old was gonna' be not having to pay 45 zillion dollars a year for insurance when we get eligible for Medicare!! If they privatize it . . . we'll never be able to retire. Or, we'll just spend everything and then drive off a cliff when one of us gets really sick!

If you pay taxes on 30k in home value, it's real value is likely much more. Maybe up to 2-3x, so probably worth 40-90k. At least, that's been my experience with tax rates on residential real estate. I'd start with the bank you have a relationship with. Stop by or call, and tell them what you need and ask what they can offer you. They'll probably be able to get you a good loan at a good rate. I'd suggest asking about a HELOC (Home Equity Line of Credit.) These usually have 0 fees, because the bank pays for them, even the appraisal. You can usually get a HELOC for up to 70-80% of the total home value. Tell them you don't know what the house is worth, but you'd like a HELOC for some reasonable amount -- round UP -- because they PREFER bigger loans, because they make more off them. So, maybe tell them you're thinking a HELOC for 25k. Then, go ahead and TAKE as big a HELOC as you can get. They're a great, cheap source of credit. You're a grown up, you need some emergency credit . . . for emergencies! You can pay the HELOC as fast or as slow as you want, so just figure out what rate you want to pay it back, and do that.

If she's 18, she could take an EMT class. :) Human anatomy would be good, too. AP Chem. AP Bio. My first priorities would be Chem & Bio if she hasn't had really strong classes already. If she has time for all of the above, GREAT!

No idea. The two teachers I know (one a former teacher, one a current employee) are super accomplished, respectable, and capable people. One is a multiple-degreed longterm homeschooling mom who is now working FT in public health policy -- now that her kids are up and out, she's working FT back in her field. She taught English. Her husband is a judge. Her older kids are all in college or graduated from college, with the youngest one now about to enter college (but overseas this year as an exchange student). The other person I know, who works for them currently, also has degree(s) and was a software engineer who left his comp. sci career to be a FT farmer on his family farm (which he'd bought from his grandpa with the money he'd earned as a software engineer.) I believe he just does computer stuff for them, as he isn't listed on their faculty list, but I *know* he works for them, and he might teach, too, but I don't really know, as I haven't asked details. (I'd assumed he taught for them, but seeing he isn't on their faculty list, and thinking about it, now I think he probably just does the nuts and bolts stuff behind the scenes.) They're a current homeschooling family -- the teaching gig is a side-income as farming isn't lucrative, at all, lol. I'd imagine it's just a matter of maintaining privacy. In the google-age, plenty of people don't want their identities public. The school has been around a LONG time, so probably back when they set up their business model, there wasn't much competition, and google & social media certainly didn't exist, so having public identities likely wasn't an issue back then. So far as I know, they don't advertise much and clearly (from what I've seen) have a stable source of students, so I guess maybe they don't fix what ain't broken. ETA: I just looked back at the faculty list and recognized another teacher from our local homeschool community. (The company was founded here in the town we live in, Morgantown, WV.) That teacher is also a very good person. She has crazy politics, lol, but she's not teaching political topics. She homeschooled her kids all the way through, and the kid I know is now finished with both her BS & MS. Good people, despite their crazy politics, and I know she's a competent professional and committed teacher. She teaches other topics in person, too.

mmmmmmmm

Compuhigh (aka Whitmore School) is reputable and accredited. I know people who've taught and do teach there and know kids who've taken courses. It's also a bargain compared to others listed. I haven't used it, but the ppl I know who've taught there are super talented, and the students whose reports I've heard have been very satisfied. http://www.whitmoreschool.org/academics/