At what point do you take your dc in w/a fever? I tend to be more laid back and wait fevers out not only because I have found that they resolve on their own but because I don't like paying $20 just to have the pediatrician tell me to do what I'm already doing (fluids, rest, cool baths, meds, etc.). But my 4yo has had a 103 fever even w/Motrin and Tylenol the last 2 days and her head is hurting so badly she is crying (she's my toughest dc). I reluctantly made an appt for this afternoon but wonder if I should just cancel it. She's resting quietly on the couch and doesn't seem any worse for a typical sick kid. Would you take your dc in? ETA: She does not complain of any neck stiffness/soreness.

I just calculated yesterday that we spend $2.42/person/day. That's only for food, not cleaning supplies or anything else. And that's shopping sales and using coupons. We never eat out, eat lots of beans, rice, potatoes and don't buy convenience foods. So I don't know any other way to get our bill lower. We eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies which makes our bill higher but that is worth it. If I add in non-food items that's another $80/month.

I don't feel that responsibility needs to be encouraged financially. People make choices (to have pets/dc/house) and they should be ready for the financial consequences of those choices. It's not anyone's job to help others take care of their personal possessions (including dc although I hardly think of dc as "possessions") and I find such actions by the gov't (if indeed this is true) enabling and ridiculous.

After posting on the mortgage thread and determining to stay put in our current home, we went and looked at a house today. :tongue_smilie: The house we looked at is amazing! 5 acres (we're currently on .23), HUGE kitchen, 4 bedrooms that are very large and each bedroom has its own private bathroom (toilet, tub, single sink) and a walk-in closet that is easily half the size of the bedroom. There is a guest house that is 1200sqft w/a full bathroom and big storage room. The house has a covered front porch that is really big but the back porch...WOW! It is easily the entire length of my current house and big enough that all 7 dc could ride their bikes on it (going the same way, of course) and not run into each other. There is a chicken coop/tack barn already built. No landscaping (it's high desert) but that's no big deal as I don't want to plant grass or huge trees where water is already scarce. It has a well which has great output. The view is amazing - mountains all around, gorgeous sunset tonight, sky so dark and stars to bright it takes your breath away. Price is 258K but it is empty and we know we could offer much less. I am an emotional buyer. I feel that my dc (my boys in particular) are caged in our yard and can envision them tearing around this property on their bikes. I think of when our dc are adults and we could have them stay with us if need be or even give them a part of the land. I think of holidays and the dc coming back and actually having not just their own rooms but their own bathrooms. Goodness, dh and I could take the guest house and give the dc/grandkids the main house! WWYD? After we were out there I went for a run around my neighborhood and was struck by the noise. I'd not noticed until tonight that what I thought was a quiet neighborhood is becoming louder. About a mile from us is much lower income housing/business and things are changing rapidly. I don't let my dc go to the park alone anymore. Most weekend nights we are treated to a concert from the people about 7 houses down as they play their music LOUD and entertain what must be extended family/friends that number in the dozens. I'm trying to describe this without coming across as judgmental or unkind, yet this same thing happened to us when we lived in Phoenix and within 2 years our lovely neighborhood was so bad the city was stepping in and trying to save it from becoming a crime-ridden, rundown rathole. It didn't work. The cons we've come up w/as far as moving are: 1. We are financially stable where we are. We could refinance to a lower interest rate and save just a bit more $/month. 2. Moving we would have no extra $, period. The house would be moved into as-is and no improvements made on it. 3. Our social life (slim as it is already) would be gone. People here don't drive places that are "far away", meaing more than 8 miles away. That wouldn't be a big deal for me but for my dc who have enjoyed having neighborhood kids to play with it might be rough. There are neighbors by this other house but w/5 acre properties I don't know how well we would get to know anyone. 4. No phone service. We can use cell phones but my internet would be gone. Back to the dark ages! No more WTM or any other board (that might not be such a bad thing as I might use my time more wisely...). Thoughts?

Starting in August we have a weekly bee in our house when the dc have to stand and spell their words out loud. This gives them good practice at being up in front of others. If possible we include friends' dc as well. During that time I really focus on basic spelling rules (for example I did not focus on the "ei" says long a in certain words and all 3 of my dc missed words with that rule). Once one of them has won the homeschool Bee (our group isn't large and we're a family that really focuses on spelling so one of my dc has won it the last 3 years). At that point I work daily with the County Bee contestant on the Spell It book. We use Words on the Vine for vocabulary and I've noticed it has helped with their spelling so VCR should do the same.

I'm not OK with it because I didn't want to even go there, meaning compensating my dc with gifts just because a sibling had arrived. The whole attitude behind the gift giving was what got me (it was my mil who initiated it but then she always felt sorry that my dd became a big sister at only 13.5mo). From there we have adopted the same attitude - when it is a sibling's celebration then the others don't get gifts. My dc had their own Birth Days and birthdays, they don't need to receive things for everyone else's special days (good grief, can you imagine the gift load at this point in our family?! ;)). Now, there are some gifts I would be OK with (but would still appreciate a heads-up from the giver beforehand). There is a book called The Room in My Heart that is written to an older dd when her baby brother is about to arrive. Or a Big Sister shirt would be fine, too. But a gift just because a baby has arrived doesn't sit well with me.

:iagree: I hate the feeling of helplessness, of watching others manage my money/taxes way worse than I could do, of my dh's retirement being managed in such a way that it probably won't be there when he needs it. We decided this last week to take charge of what money we have left instead of leaving it up to others to manage. Honestly, I have these thoughts and it has become almost crushing lately so instead of ignoring it I waited and kind of kept mental track of anything else going on that might be causing these feelings. When I realized that I was having these thoughts/feelings no matter what the weather/season/time-of-the-month I approached my dh and we made a plan of action. I believe that thoughts aren't always random or exaggerated fears and that sometimes they might be premonitions. My premonitions might be wrong but if they aren't and we don't take the steps we are now I will be regret it. If I am wrong then no harm done - I'm just a little more prepared for normal life. ;) I do not think any of the "headlines" running through your head are beyond reason. I am determined to be prepared as much as I can not only to help my own family but to help others if need be. The little "voice" might not be my own paranoia; it might be a "voice" I need to listen to and not explain away. What is interesting is that I've come across a few others who, without speaking to anyone else, share that they are feeling the same way. That leads me to believe that this is more than just people hearing "voices", that something is prodding our minds/hearts. Please don't think me a crazy, paranoid, dig-a-bunker-and-hide kind of person. I think humans have an instinct (although we may have lost touch with a lot of it) that shouldn't be ignored.

I put a warning in the title yet want to warn again that this post is about babies/loss/abortion and if you have gone through anything like that or are deeply affected by such topics, please don't read this. I have a dear friend whom I love so much, yet she is young both in age and mentality. Or perhaps I should say she is innocent as far as life goes. I just got on FB and she had posted a poll about abortion...and a picture. A horrible, horrible picture. I ran for the bathroom, sobbing and hoping I'd make it to the toilet in time. When I managed to get back to the computer I responded to her post that maybe she could just put a link or remove the picture, then "hid" her. I also sent her an email that gently pointed out that she has never lost a baby, she's never felt pressure and run to the bathroom, knowing what was happening yet praying for a miracle, but the miracle was born into one's hand. Miscarriage is not abortion yet a picture like she posted brought back all the horror of that Tuesday night and my heart is dying once again. I am so sad. I can't be angry with her because she doesn't get it (and will delete her post immediately, if I know her). I was having a great day, now I can't stop crying. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone. I tried to be clear in my warning and I really needed to post this. Ironically, today my dh and I were at a doctor's office for a consult about ttc (trying to conceive) so here I'm focusing on new life and this happens. I miss my babies. I have to get myself together before I go out to my family...must stop crying.

For me, tragic in that it was preventable: parents gone, shotgun in house accessible to the dc...:001_huh: If I leave some of my dc home alone they aren't allowed to go outside, turn on the stove/oven, light a match, etc.; I take every precaution to help them be safe. I honestly can't imagine not being home and having a gun in the house that was either not locked up or the kid knew where the key was, loaded...what were the parents thinking? I'm not against having guns and don't want to start a debate that's been argued here before, but this seems very irresponsible to me. One can teach a kid all about gun safety, set rules, think their kid won't be the one on the news, but then their kid is the one on the news. How horrible.

Nope.

I may be in the minority here but I'd check w/the parents first to see if they are OK w/their dd getting a gift. People gave us gifts for #1 when #2 was born and I put the gifts in a bag in the closet for Christmas. It was just a personal decision yet no one checked with me, they all assumed I would be OK with giving my other dc a gift with the birth of a new baby. Just a thought... If mom/dad are good with a gift, I'd go with something baby-related like a doll/book, etc.

This is us, too. We rarely leave our house during the day and it works well for us as far as staying on track with school.

oooooh, we found an amazing book at the library and ended up buying it, it is so good! It's called My Light by Molly Bang and is fabulous for explaining how all energy originates from the sun.

$0, live in U.S. We started putting $ away for braces when first dc was just 6yo (just paid $8000 for 3dc in cash - yeah!), put about $400/mo aside for copays/deductible/OOP expenses. We do have health insurance yet rarely go to the doctor.

OK, our priority is to be debt free. We do all the "right" things: coupons/sales, thrift stores (just outfitted all my dc for less than $100 for fall/winter), never eat out, don't by convenience food, paid off our van then continued to pay ourselves so we could pay cash for the next one, etc. Yet there is no way we can pay our mortgage off early...no.way. The economy has affected my dh's salary (he works for the county) and he has not received a cost-of-living raise in 3 years yet our insurance (required) has gone up and benefits have gone down. We were once $1000 below our means even w/me being SAHM w/5dc and now we are about $50 below our means. We've looked into moving to a less expensive house but in this area that would mean living off of the most busy, dangerous road where my dc could not go outside to play either due to traffic or questionable neighbors. We feel stuck. Last night we were up late trying to figure out what to do, how we can get into cheaper housing and at least have $100 or so extra/month but again, given the market and having to then sell our own house, I don't see it happening. If anyone has any input on our situation I'd love to hear it. I can budget like mad, I'm almost a tightwad! Yet I can't seem to find even one bit of money extra right now for the soon-to-come medical insurance premiums much less money to pay off our mortgage.

Thank you! I had to explain this very thing this morning to someone at church when she used the word "legalistic" with me. By striving to obey God's Word without shame, excuse or compromise I am being legalistic? By refusing to give in to the world's traditions or shroud that which is pagan with a thin veil of Christianity I am being legalistic? False teachers came into the early church and brought their practices/traditions/beliefs with them; that which was not of the Lord became accepted, practiced and "Christianized" in the church. Celebrations and holidays are passed through the filter of 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 for us. We examine everything carefully, trace traditions back to their roots and weed out that which we feel is not acceptable. How others choose to celebrate/not celebrate Christmas is between them and God - thankfully it isn't a salvation issue! But is wearying when one chooses to not celebrate Christmas and is accused of being legalistic.

I'm not sure if I qualify as not celebrating Christmas but thought I'd share what we do. We decided a few years back that since we get gifts on our bdays then if we are truly celebrating Jesus' bday He should get the gifts...ALL the gifts, not just a small something while we spend more on ourselves. I presented it my dc right after my then 8yodd's bday and said that the next year on each dc's bday they would only receive a tiny gift and the rest of the dc would receive a huge present. Outcries of, "That's not fair!!!" ensued which led to a great discussion. So what we do is take the $ we were spending on gifts (not much since we only budget $10/dc - dh and I gave up exchanging gifts years ago) and we let the dc choose items from the Samaritan's Purse catalog. I love the day the catalog arrives and never fail to cry as I see them excitedly picking what they want to buy. This will be our third year and so far they haven't missed not receiving presents that I know of. For us (and I say this hesitantly so as not to offend those who celebrate Christmas differently), it felt hypocritical to claim Christmas as a celebration of Jesus' bday yet give ourselves the gifts, for the reason of "showing how much we love each other" or "because Jesus was God's gift to us, we give gifts to each other". That thinking just seemed flawed and, to be honest, self-centered. So we decided to do away with the focus on ourselves and give it all to Jesus. That, in fact, is the theme of SP this year: Give Christmas Away. Maybe that's still celebrating Christmas but just thought I'd share. Now if I could only get out of having to be included in gift exchanges with extended family who care nothing for us or the Lord until it is time for presents, that would be good. But that's another thread...

I thought once a user name, always a user name. Maybe I'll look into changing...maybe put to use all those lovely letters we have to use to get a baby. ;)

My problem is saying "no" to others. Today as I was babysitting a 2yo, waiting for a 5yo to be dropped off then running to pick up his 8yo brother from school I wondered why "no" isn't in my vocabulary. Why do I feel guilty if I even think about saying, "no"? I'm OK with not taking on outside commitments but when it comes to favors (even ones that go on for over a year) I just can't turn anyone down. I need counseling.

We are ttc (with RE and MA; depending on u/s, AFC and LH/FSH/e2 we may progress to HSG, G-F, hcg and P4...try figuring that one out! :D). I have thought about the H1N1 thing but honestly, I don't want to put this on hold for something that may/may not happen. I'm not getting younger, I'm already AMA (ack!) so on we go full steam ahead. I'll take precautions as I would even if tta (trying to avoid).

My 12yos has an issue with time. He chooses to not use it wisely until he is good and ready. He is prideful, stubborn, etc. Once he gets going, though, he is on track and very diligent, yet again it has to be on his own terms. For example, he has 2 hours every morning to get his YOYO (You're On Your Own) work done. I've written out how long things should take and at a medium pace it should take 2 hours 10 minutes - most days less. Yet this morning he took 2 hours to do an hour's worth of work, then spent from 2:30-9:00 finishing his work. I was livid! All he had this afternoon was a few pages of history to read/outline, Spanish (listening to/repeating alphabet and #'s) and one literature lesson. He wasn't bothered at all that he sat at a table all afternoon/evening. Yet even if he was bothered he wouldn't show it, he is that stubborn. My consequence is that tomorrow he will miss the field trip we are scheduled for in the morning (an actual pirate ship a guy built in his yard for his grandkids...this thing is HUGE!). I told ds that he has shown me that he cannot manage his time well even when we are home during the day so obviously I'm not going to let him have half a day off. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "OK". I wanted to shake him. None of my other dc do this. They might waste time here and there but they catch up and if they miss something or think they will miss something they are very upset. I have examined ds's work load and don't feel it is too much, I really feel he is making poor choices. So why do I feel like a bad mom?

We have a stash of oscillococcinum (sp?) that we give upon first flu symptoms. For us it has really worked!

:iagree: If she loses the tube it may be even harder for her because she will have lost part of her reproductive system. That part was so, so hard for me and honestly even almost 8 years later I still struggle with anger and sadness.

Just got on Craigslist and saw a "quints" set for sale complete w/5 babies, 3 babysitters, 5 highchairs, 5 cribs, etc. I really have a hard time w/the reality shows highlighting families with multiples (not natural multiples, either) but this bugs me even more. Why introduce to young children having FIVE babies at once as "play"? I can almost understand twins (seems every baby doll/doll set is a twin set lately; TV shows aren't much better) but quintuplets?! We've been in the world of REs and fertility issues and have heard the doctors rant against high-order multiples (some even view twins as not good) yet they are up against media hype geared even toward the youngest members of society. This, obviously, is not true of all REs but the ones we've worked with have their heads on straight. OK, rant over. I'd like to buy the stupid quints set and throw it in the trash.

It's really hard, too, when your siblings tell you openly and bluntly what they think of you and the mess you are making of your life, how you are ruining your dc, etc. yet if you voice the slightest bit of criticism or even ask a question in a positive way they shred you to bits. Sometimes I feel as though I will explode when my siblings or sil are around because there is so much I would love to say to them... But I won't. Not so much to keep the peace but because they are not worth my effort anymore. Thanks for this post. I will remember it when I am around family in the near future and they are sharing their "insights" into my life with me. :glare: