Thanks!

I know there is an article out there regarding Pope Francis' Homily from wednesday. I actually thought the bits and pieces I read about it were good food for thought. I know not everyone does. Where can you actually get a copy of the entire Homily or hear it? I am thinking that I might need a translator if they aren't translated into English :) Is that possible? I hate when news people just pull out bits and pieces since it really doesn't give the full picture. Thanks!

When my friends visited in the hospital, they didn't bring their children. It was hospital policy. However, I still wouldn't have wanted them to bring their children. Germs and all that. My children were preemies, so that also impacted how I felt.

Here's how I think this applies to me: I don't believe this is a salvation issue or not takes away from seeing the Bible as literal. I think it is unfortunate it has become more so that way in some people's thinking. I think it is another good way for groups to "weed out" who they think aren't "proper Christians". The more the different religious groups split and argue among themselves, the less likely others will want to explore faith of any kind. Unity was a big thing with Jesus: This is my command: Love each other. (John 15:17) and this: "I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. (John 17:21). It seems like weeding sheep from other sheep. Does it really matter if I believe God created something, all the particulars surrounding it? Rhetrorical question. I know for some people it does. If someone feels strongly about it, than they should go with it. For me, unity takes a lot of talking and even sometimes agreeing that you just don't see it the same way when common ground isn't there, but it is always loving despite the differences. I just don't think this is where Jesus wants me to get stuck/focused: on intellecutal/theological debating over interpretation and words. Sure, do I like to read the different views and think for myself? Most certainly. I am not saying I should check my brain out at the door. His big thing was about relationships and that they are right with one another (I think that having a right relationship with someone, might be not having one at all depending on the cirumstances). However, for me, making sure I am loving myself and others like I do is a big task, let alone trying to figure out some of these intellectual/theological issues. (The other issue that comes to mind that I think is like the YE/OE is how different people view the rapture.) In the end, I just wonder what really will be the most important thing, how much time I spent trying to figure out something that in essence may be futile because it isn't that clear cut, or the amount of time I spent focusing on how I was right with God and how I was doing loving others as myself? (Again, rhetorical question). These are my thoughts that I am applying to myself. This is not meant to be a judgement on what others think. Hopefully, it doesn't come across that way. That is why I rarely get into these discussions. :ph34r:

Good news! The child who swore at my son came over to get his ball pumped. Since I have been pondering what I should say, I decided that I would go with going over our house rules first. Then, I just said I heard what was said, I don't care who said it, but it was unacceptable and if it happens again, they will not be allowed to play for awhile. I asked him if he would like it if a friend of his talked to him that way. He said no. That was it. We pumped his ball but had another committment we had to leave for so there was no playing.

I just remembered. Perhaps Starbucks should just introduce Kopi luwak into their menu choices. (This coffee is made from coffee berries once they have been eaten and excreted by the Asian Palm Civet). It is really expensive coffee from Indonesia.

really, that has to be removed? I was going to put that on my list of dealing with neighborhood children solutions ;)

I don't have problems with kids exploring. I do have a problem with exploring that involves vandalism or exploring that puts a child in emminant danger. CPS is not the first resort that comes to my mind to solve problems. However, sometimes, there are cases where they should be called. (I haven't encountered any thankfully). Bill, what do you think the solution is to the pond issue without going nuclear? (I am not being snarky). One of the reason I love this board is there are so many solutions that I have never thought of that have come from here. In my opinion, the problem is that in our society, we have moved into a sue everyone mode of operating. In this case, there is danger that the children can drown and the owner will be held liable. We have also moved from community where people worked together watching the kids. It was acceptable for the other adults to step in because of a potentially dangerous situation. The parents would also call their kids out when something was unacceptable and another adult told them. Trust me, if my parents found out I did something, there was no let's go and find out what the situation is, it was like up to your room you are gounded. We have lost that. Not that that was all good. But, it is a change. So, if you have parents who don't watch their kids, and they don't listen when you talk to them about concerns, and than something horrific, death or injury happens, the people that live where it happened are liable. Story: Young boy (7) is riding bike in the middle of the street at 9:30 at night, in the summer. A neighbor says are you on your way home. It is getting late and it will be hard for people to see you on your bike. Also, requests that he move to the side of the street, so he doesn't get hit. Boy tells neighbor F* off. It is none of your F*n business. My dh and I and the neighbor are stunned, and what do you do? Growing up, going to the parents, they would have taken care of it. Now, not so much. And no, not everyone is like this everywhere. However, many more people are than before.

Yes, this.. I need to write this down and memorize it. Thanks! I have trouble when I say what I know, someone tells me what I know isn't what I know because they know what I said isn't true for them (I know this sounds like a crazy statement), so than I get stuck. This is what happened to me growing up all the time. I know what I saw, said or heard. My parents would be like, you are so sensitive, that was never said, you didn't hear right etc.

Yep! I know what it is. It isn't just one thing either. Some of those things aren't in my power to change. The one thing that I could change was helping my children to be clear and set good boundaries and be able to tell kids to leave when they don't follow the rules. My kids, at the beginning, would not say anything. Just to be clear, I have modeled this with the kids and helped them do this. I haven't left them hanging nor have I been overly intrusive. It definetly has been stressful trying to balance this out. Also, this boundary setting stuff was a lot of work for me too since growing up my boundaries never counted. I was also raised that you just keep trying and trying and being nice to people no matter what. I am friends with a lady in our neighborhood who is a retired social worker. She has coached me in how to deal with the situation and how my children should respond. What a blessing she has been. She actually went with me to talk with a parent and told me I shouldn't go without her because of other issues.

It is true that with most kids this works. I have done it and it has been fine. But, with most kids in my neighborhood that hasn't been my experience. They look at you and say "I never said that" Than what? You tell them "I heard you" or "I saw you". They still stick with "Nope, it wasn't me." Talking with the parents doesn't help. The behavior still continues. My kids see this behavior, and as adults we wouldn't put up with someone treating us this way. There would be a point where we would walk away after trying to work something out. After trying for months to make it work, sometimes I am wondering if the healthy thing to do is not allow certain children over to play. When do you cut the ties? Trust me. We have tried moving from playing 4 times a week, to 3 to 2 to 1 time a week. Sometimes just because we have been busy with activities, it has been once every several weeks.

Yes, this is the hardest thing. It has been a constant source of stress for over three years now. Some of the kids have drifted off because they are involved in sports or the like, But, than a new crew comes over and it is still the same story.

I just had an interesting conversation with a cop about neighborhood kids. They may ask if you have talked with the parents before they will do anything. However, if you have done that and things keep happening, I asked the cop for other tools. He told me there are none. You need to call the police and the police will talk with the parents. I was shocked because I was talking about things that a 9 year old was doing. In this case, there is danger that the children can drown. If they do, you will be liable. So, maybe that would make a difference in talking with the cops. Unfortunately, since this is a safety issue and you will be liable, I would call CPS.

Why when I can't get to the door fast enough, do you stop knocking and kick the door? Why when you bring candy bars or water bottles over and eat in my yard do you throw those items on the ground? Why when you are told you can't play by my children, you swear at them and call them names? Why when I tell you that is unacceptable do you look in my eyes and tell me you didn't say anything? **Sigh** I can handle the trash, the rearranging of plants in my yard, even the squabbles but swearing at my kids...that just gets me. Unacceptable. I don't know what to do. Confronting the child doesn't work. Talking to the parents doesn't work. What to do, what to do. Yeah summer and neighbor kids. Let the games begin.....

I would have left. In fact, I have been in those situations and have had to leave. I know the Starbucks in our area usually have other restaurants of drug stores near them. Doesn't take long to get coffee, can be in and out. So, you planned on staying and chatting, well part of having kids is the unexpected. Come back after diaper is changed. Personally, it makes me cringe when thinking about changing a diaper in the middle of the restaurant, it smells and the germs...ack. However, it could have been handled much more discreetly. Coffee on the floor, unacceptable. ETA: As a mom, I always knew where there was or wasn't a changing table. If I knew somewhere wouldn't have one, I would have a plan just in case, because usually you need a just in case plan with babies. One never knows when or what will be spewing or squriting out of where. But than again, I plan out everything so I get that might be how others operate :)

10 and 8 1/2 years old. I left them alone for 15 minute grocery trips to start. There were house rules. Also, went over an escape route if there would be a fire. If they are left for longer than an hour, I make sure I have someone on call in case anything happens. I haven't left them for more than 2 hours. For whatever reason, I don't feel too bad leaving them in the morning, but evenings are harder. There are just more people around in the evening. I think in the morning people are getting ready for school, work etc. so they are precoccupied with other things. Also, people don't canvas the neighborhood until mid morning so I don't have to worry about people knocking on the door.

Thanks for sharing. I hadn't seen this before and it looks great!

The first thing I thought was too much drama. I am wondering if this reconnection is happening on her part because there is always some type of drama going on and she has to cycle through friends? People can only take so much drama. If she connected with someone else, and they have given her space, she now would come back to you because she doesn't want to feel like there aren't people in her life. In my experience, drama prone people are always creating new friendships since they are leaving a trail of worn out and wounded people in their wake. They will almost always try to reconnect to see if the person they lost along the way might still be sympathetic to their crises. If the person doesn't respond in the way they think they should, they tend to drop people like a hot potato. Also, in my experience, it is never their fault, it is always someone elses. I would let it go. The distance alone will naturally make keeping the friendship more difficult. I would have to really weigh if it was worth it to try and maintain something that had changed and wasn't that great anymore. It is helpful to realize that some friendships last longer than others. Some people are just in our lives for a season. :grouphug:

Great job! It looks like it was a lot of work.

Nope. Agree with Jean.

Definitely, I would file a police report. If it happens again, than it will help with the investigation. I would keep my kids away and warn all my friends. My guess is that it won't be a one time incident and with more people on guard, there will be more reports made. :grouphug:

Another vote for taking the dog back. If for some reason your child gets bitten and breaks skin, the dog can't be rehomed. We had a similar situation, worked with a trainer. However, the dog still wasn't comfortable around our children. The dog started biting but just leaving red warning marks. We worked with a rescue to get him a home with no children. Very stressful.

I think what you did was fine. The mom must be open to talking further if you already gave her the scenario and you are meeting tomorrow. :grouphug:

Oh my goodness. I hope he is o.k. How terribly sad.

I say crap. Like others have said, I had never seen carp until this board.